How Can a Person Recover What They Never Had to Lose
Attended By a Single Hound
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: England
Posts: 425
Thanks, guys. I'm listening, to everything.
LadyBlue - What could I do differently? Cut the bs, once and for all.
I've plenty already to be grateful for and 'rewards' enough. Just need to start earning them and showing some gratitude. I've gotten lazy, let things slip.
And Aduklips - congratulations. 5 years.
And thanks for posting.
LadyBlue - What could I do differently? Cut the bs, once and for all.
I've plenty already to be grateful for and 'rewards' enough. Just need to start earning them and showing some gratitude. I've gotten lazy, let things slip.And Aduklips - congratulations. 5 years.
And thanks for posting.
Now what?
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 100
Last month on 3 January, I packed my things into storage, tossed my luggage in the trunk of my car, put my dog in the backseat, and started driving south down the coast highway until I had to pull over for the night. A few days later, I started looking for - and found - a loft rental.
What's the point? Doing something completely foreign feels alien. But there's something adventurous about it - and I always like an adventure. I can say the same thing about my sobriety. I'm new at it - again - and things inside me are starting to wake up. My new motto is "power through it" - not in the same way I did with withdrawal - but close.
Internal 'stuff' feels weird and awkward, but I'm trying to learn the art of being and staying present. Instead of drinking through or over weird emotions and sensations - I'm powering through them. And what I mean by that is - I'm 'hanging out with them'. I'm not used to them, but sure as the weather - they change!
Maybe the part of me that enjoys wine won't ever go away. But I'm doing something different now. And I trust that over time - I'll get used to my sober body in the same way I'll get used to my new environment.
"It ain’t even the urge to ‘do drugs’ or get pissed really; I miss the language that was (and is) I guess my first and mother tongue. Being an ‘addict’ since kidhood I have no 'pre-addict identity' or life to 'recover'. I miss ‘my people’, the ways of the world and culture I was raised on; the world I come from. "
I don't believe that people are born addicts. I also don't believe that people truly change. We change our environments, our habits, our friends, our partners, our jobs and locations, and even our body parts - but no matter what a person does or where a person goes - there s/he is. So - what this means to me is - the part of me that feels like hanging on to my past is also the part of me that fears the unknown. If I move on *without*, I'll be killing what I'm leaving behind. Abandoning it. It feels like a death.
Life is generous in at least one area - it gives most of us options, choices and opportunities on a daily basis. One of them is to learn to develop a relationship with our heart. I'm learning that my heart has never betrayed me and if I listen to it, it will only guide me toward what is best for me.
You've come back for a reason. What were you listening to - your heart or your head?
Best
What's the point? Doing something completely foreign feels alien. But there's something adventurous about it - and I always like an adventure. I can say the same thing about my sobriety. I'm new at it - again - and things inside me are starting to wake up. My new motto is "power through it" - not in the same way I did with withdrawal - but close.
Internal 'stuff' feels weird and awkward, but I'm trying to learn the art of being and staying present. Instead of drinking through or over weird emotions and sensations - I'm powering through them. And what I mean by that is - I'm 'hanging out with them'. I'm not used to them, but sure as the weather - they change!
Maybe the part of me that enjoys wine won't ever go away. But I'm doing something different now. And I trust that over time - I'll get used to my sober body in the same way I'll get used to my new environment.
"It ain’t even the urge to ‘do drugs’ or get pissed really; I miss the language that was (and is) I guess my first and mother tongue. Being an ‘addict’ since kidhood I have no 'pre-addict identity' or life to 'recover'. I miss ‘my people’, the ways of the world and culture I was raised on; the world I come from. "
I don't believe that people are born addicts. I also don't believe that people truly change. We change our environments, our habits, our friends, our partners, our jobs and locations, and even our body parts - but no matter what a person does or where a person goes - there s/he is. So - what this means to me is - the part of me that feels like hanging on to my past is also the part of me that fears the unknown. If I move on *without*, I'll be killing what I'm leaving behind. Abandoning it. It feels like a death.
Life is generous in at least one area - it gives most of us options, choices and opportunities on a daily basis. One of them is to learn to develop a relationship with our heart. I'm learning that my heart has never betrayed me and if I listen to it, it will only guide me toward what is best for me.
You've come back for a reason. What were you listening to - your heart or your head?
Best
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