The most honest, soul searching ...
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
The most honest, soul searching ...
This is probably the most honest, soul searching post I've ever posted,albeit that all are written from the heart.
In my well over 6 years of recovery, all my dreams have been dysfunctional, disjointed experiences, leaving me, when I woke up thinking I'd got a head full of broken mirrors.
Last night was different. I dreamt I was at an ordinary suburban party where I met a woman. Mature, 45+, I'm not good at guessing ages these days, attractive, hair tied back, dressed as if she'd just called in on her way home from the office. Which in fact, it turned out she had.With a very obvious warm, affectionate personality.
I know that whatever scent she was wearing was patchouli based, because it lingered in my senses long after I woke up!
After being introduced, when there was a hint of resonance between us, we mingled. After which I took a seat in a vacant armchair, she came over and just naturally sat in my lap in a manner that left us both knowing in our hearts that nothing further need be said. Indicating that we'd, from now on never be apart, ever.
I'm told that the best relationships happen when you ask yourself,'Does this person make me happy, in simply being themselves' Equally so, they should ask themselves that of you, if the answers ,'Yes', by both parties, you have at least the basis for unconditional love between the two of you. This had surely , in my dream, just taken place.
Now those of you who have known love, particularly unconditional love and still have it, may scoff at this, please feel free to do so.
But for an aging (I'm 68) ex-drunk like me, who's spent a lifetime, even before my alcoholism took a grip on me who grew up with those traits commonly found in mostly alcoholics, fear, guilt, self loathing, low self esteem, it's not exactly something I'm to familiar with.
Which allows me, in recovery to interpret my dream, whether, in reality I ever meet this woman. I hope I do, might be nice to have a friend,companion or soul mate. As meaning not only can I be loved by another person, but,perhaps more importantly, I can be finally be rid of those common traits and love myself, just in simply being me, just as I am. My true self, no more no less.
Which, to me is what recovery is all about and generates the thought, that if I do that, everything else in my life will fall into place, exactly as it's meant to.
In my well over 6 years of recovery, all my dreams have been dysfunctional, disjointed experiences, leaving me, when I woke up thinking I'd got a head full of broken mirrors.
Last night was different. I dreamt I was at an ordinary suburban party where I met a woman. Mature, 45+, I'm not good at guessing ages these days, attractive, hair tied back, dressed as if she'd just called in on her way home from the office. Which in fact, it turned out she had.With a very obvious warm, affectionate personality.
I know that whatever scent she was wearing was patchouli based, because it lingered in my senses long after I woke up!
After being introduced, when there was a hint of resonance between us, we mingled. After which I took a seat in a vacant armchair, she came over and just naturally sat in my lap in a manner that left us both knowing in our hearts that nothing further need be said. Indicating that we'd, from now on never be apart, ever.
I'm told that the best relationships happen when you ask yourself,'Does this person make me happy, in simply being themselves' Equally so, they should ask themselves that of you, if the answers ,'Yes', by both parties, you have at least the basis for unconditional love between the two of you. This had surely , in my dream, just taken place.
Now those of you who have known love, particularly unconditional love and still have it, may scoff at this, please feel free to do so.
But for an aging (I'm 68) ex-drunk like me, who's spent a lifetime, even before my alcoholism took a grip on me who grew up with those traits commonly found in mostly alcoholics, fear, guilt, self loathing, low self esteem, it's not exactly something I'm to familiar with.
Which allows me, in recovery to interpret my dream, whether, in reality I ever meet this woman. I hope I do, might be nice to have a friend,companion or soul mate. As meaning not only can I be loved by another person, but,perhaps more importantly, I can be finally be rid of those common traits and love myself, just in simply being me, just as I am. My true self, no more no less.
Which, to me is what recovery is all about and generates the thought, that if I do that, everything else in my life will fall into place, exactly as it's meant to.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
This is far and away my favorite post of yours. I am going to take a crack at interpreting your dream. I think it means your divine couple is about to get it on.
What Are Jung's 4 Major Archetypes?
Might I suggest a song for the dollar dance?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Bl_VQ2inM
Could somebody release the doves now?
What Are Jung's 4 Major Archetypes?
Might I suggest a song for the dollar dance?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Bl_VQ2inM
Could somebody release the doves now?
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
You made me cry...
You made me cry, few people, either when I was drunk or sober have ever done that, although I always believe it takes a man to cry, so it's something I've never been ashamed of when it's happened.
People cry for many reasons, in grief and in joy, in my case the tears flowed in appreciation, simply in friendship, for your kindness and understanding in the words and music expressed here,thank you ...for being there.
People cry for many reasons, in grief and in joy, in my case the tears flowed in appreciation, simply in friendship, for your kindness and understanding in the words and music expressed here,thank you ...for being there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 129
Being the jungian dream analyst that I am -lol- your woman is the feminine aspect of yourself that you have just accepted as being part of you, close to you and connected with you on a very intimate level. You have become whole my friend. In Jung's terms, every male must accept his anima (female aspect). Good job. You can get everything you need from your psyche.
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I'm ok with Jung...
I'm ok with your Jungian observations, not least because shortly after I was relieved of my desire to drink alcohol, I had, what I've had to accept there being no other explanation forthcoming, a 'spiritual or psychic' experience - see the book, 'Alcoholics Anonymous' together with William James,'Varieties of Religious Experience'.
I resolved to find and be my true self, part of which, more by accident than design involved research on the subjects of gender identity and sexual orientation. The two compliment each other but are not linked as many, wrongly think.
Which together with other, less serious material, placed me somewhere in the 'middle ground', complimenting the fact that I've previously been formally assessed, as having innate high intelligence together with the accompanying degree of sensitivity, and what psychologists jokingly refer to, not in a derogatory sense, a 'female brain' i.e. emotional intelligence.
A very feminine trait,'Men systemise, women empathise' see Prof. S. Baron-Cohen's book,'The Essential Difference'.
All of which suggest , to your credit, there's merit in your observation...
I resolved to find and be my true self, part of which, more by accident than design involved research on the subjects of gender identity and sexual orientation. The two compliment each other but are not linked as many, wrongly think.
Which together with other, less serious material, placed me somewhere in the 'middle ground', complimenting the fact that I've previously been formally assessed, as having innate high intelligence together with the accompanying degree of sensitivity, and what psychologists jokingly refer to, not in a derogatory sense, a 'female brain' i.e. emotional intelligence.
A very feminine trait,'Men systemise, women empathise' see Prof. S. Baron-Cohen's book,'The Essential Difference'.
All of which suggest , to your credit, there's merit in your observation...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
wow a dream please forgive me but I am going to let my Pop step out of me for a minute.. Kid you need to get laid... bottom line.. been awhile hey.. kekekekeke
i am back wow and all I end up dreaming about is cleaning house .. that was a great story on the dream tho wow you wrote it really well.. you should write for a bit..
i am back wow and all I end up dreaming about is cleaning house .. that was a great story on the dream tho wow you wrote it really well.. you should write for a bit..
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