Redmayne

In recovery, I've found that, metaphorically speaking, my forgetting to remember my past in my drinking days. Particularly in my drinking days during the last 15 years, when, setting my alcoholism aside for the moment, I twice lost everything and I do mean EVERYTHING! Through the selfish, irresponsible actions of others which only added to the chaos and confusion in my life, which as recovering alcoholics, most of us know so well.

That to do so, plays and has been part, if not the most important part of my recovery and a life now lead in what seems to be reasonable to regard as prolonged and hopefully, a day at a time, lasting sobriety.

John Wesley, the co-founder of the Methodist Church, is attributed as once saying,

' My life is my religion,

The world is my country.'

In this case I regard his reference to 'My life...' as being my recovery, which is ongoing on a daily basis, and 'The world...' seen through a much less delusional state than those of an alcoholic in his cups, as a much better , despite all its, and mine, faults and failings, better country to live in.

IWantFree

This is what happens to me! I forget to remember what it was like to be drunk... How dark I got and how awful it was to stop... The pain of detox, the shame and guilt of the last binge... I always forget and kid myself that somehow this time will be different and I'll drink like a normal person...

BIG MISTAKE!!!

Thanks for the reminder... Just don't let me forget!

Redmayne

I'm not lecturing, but in recovery, you definitely need to concentrate on ridding yourself of the idea that you can or may drink like other men. Even if it means giving yourself ,'a case of the jitters'. Although I wouldn't recommend this, ok!

The actual truth is ,'you're like other men' if not better without alcohol, so don't feed a thought, need or desire, that in truth doesn't exist in the first place. It's a delusion and as you, yourself have said, you're kidding yourself.

Keep that idea in mind and you'll make progress and be ok.

Fishinainteasy

I needed to hear this. I cannot stand the fact that my mind tries to trick me into thinking that I can control my drinking. I cannot.

ubntubnt

My mind will do and has done ANYTHING to keep me drinking. And it has won this battle for the past 20 years in particular. I was so blind to it I didn't even realise there was a battle being fought....but now I do, and I am pissed (American pissed, not British pissed) and I am resolving this once and for all. The booze is gone three weeks now and it is never coming back. And my AV can go to hell and stay there. I have a life worth living....

Redmayne

Your mind will play tricks on you all the time, but only if you let it. It's controlled by your brain, wherein lies your common sense and intelligence, which in the case of the latter does partly stem from the mind.

So bearing this in mind it's perhaps time to literally 'take a leaf' out of Sun Tzu's famous book,'The Art of War' which is about life itself really, he said,

'You should control events, otherwise events will control you.'

If like me, you suffer from the disease/illness of alcoholism and was an alcoholic. Now in recovery, if I think or worst still take a drink of alcohol, in the belief that it'll cure my alcoholism, or in any way make my life easier or better.

I know my mind is playing tricks on me, and if no more than by experience alone, it's a delusion. Plain and simple, no more and no less.

But let's not be silly about all this, for me and many others it can and has been a fatal delusion...

silentrun

Me too. I was downright delusional about what was really going on with my drinking. Once I got a peek behind the curtain it has been eyes wide open since. I like your attitude! That's exactly how I feel about it,