Where is God?
Recovered from Hopeless State
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Where is God?
I've been looking for God for a long time now. As a die hard agnostic, He has been very elusive for me. I understood from the Big Book that I needed to find Him. I can't count how many times I've read chapter 4, "We Agnostics". I've tried meetings, church, etc... but still He eluded me.
In the last few months, things have been getting pretty desperate for me. I've become a low bottom case after 7ish years of going in and out of AA, hospitals due the withdrawl induced seizures, rehabs and jails. I know the next, final step is death. On top of that, my early 20s daughter is rapidly approaching the same state. I had to do something.
I started printing and putting little tidbits on the wall of my home office. Things like: "There IS a higher power and it's NOT me", "Do the next Right thing one day at a time", "What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made me willing to believe. I humbly offered myself to my Maker. Then I knew", etc...
I haven't drank in about 3 mos. now and I feel much better than I have since I started drinking heavily years ago; much clearer.
Just this morning, I had a "revelation" that I believe has allowed me to find God. I feel I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking outside of myself. That's not where God is. He's not up in the clouds, in a church or at AA meetings. God is inside of me. All, I had to do is look inward, not outward. My Higher Power is not me; but it is inside me.
I believe God is inside all of us; every human being on Earth. Unfortunately, so is the devil. I needed, and still need, to pay less attention to the dark fellow and just follow the light; the sunshine.
I'm sure some will not agree with this but it's my story and, as long as it works for me, I'm stickin' to it.
In the last few months, things have been getting pretty desperate for me. I've become a low bottom case after 7ish years of going in and out of AA, hospitals due the withdrawl induced seizures, rehabs and jails. I know the next, final step is death. On top of that, my early 20s daughter is rapidly approaching the same state. I had to do something.
I started printing and putting little tidbits on the wall of my home office. Things like: "There IS a higher power and it's NOT me", "Do the next Right thing one day at a time", "What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made me willing to believe. I humbly offered myself to my Maker. Then I knew", etc...
I haven't drank in about 3 mos. now and I feel much better than I have since I started drinking heavily years ago; much clearer.
Just this morning, I had a "revelation" that I believe has allowed me to find God. I feel I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking outside of myself. That's not where God is. He's not up in the clouds, in a church or at AA meetings. God is inside of me. All, I had to do is look inward, not outward. My Higher Power is not me; but it is inside me.
I believe God is inside all of us; every human being on Earth. Unfortunately, so is the devil. I needed, and still need, to pay less attention to the dark fellow and just follow the light; the sunshine.
I'm sure some will not agree with this but it's my story and, as long as it works for me, I'm stickin' to it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
When I saw your topic, asking where is God,
and even before reading what your wrote, I
said out loud, In Your Heart. Then proceeded
to read your share and nodded to your revelation
because that was exactly my thoughts too.
and even before reading what your wrote, I
said out loud, In Your Heart. Then proceeded
to read your share and nodded to your revelation
because that was exactly my thoughts too.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I'm glad...
I'm glad you've found God as you understand Him, a suggestion I first saw on p. 12 of 'Bill's Story', in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' 4th Ed.
When his friend, Ebbie suggested to him,'Why don't you choose your own conception of God?'.
It certainly worked for Bill, and me to, as well as many others. I'm sure.
When his friend, Ebbie suggested to him,'Why don't you choose your own conception of God?'.
It certainly worked for Bill, and me to, as well as many others. I'm sure.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
"We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. "
My faith, the idea of faith in a power greater than myself was certainly well buried, but it was there, through the steps, that contact was made for me. Whether He resides in me or whether it's some sort of heavenly modem through which I am able to communicate, I know not, and it doesn't seem to matter.
I am aware that the idea that God resides within a human, is one apsect of our program that really annoys some Christians.
My faith, the idea of faith in a power greater than myself was certainly well buried, but it was there, through the steps, that contact was made for me. Whether He resides in me or whether it's some sort of heavenly modem through which I am able to communicate, I know not, and it doesn't seem to matter.
I am aware that the idea that God resides within a human, is one apsect of our program that really annoys some Christians.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
this will draw some ire
1 In the beginning Man created God;
and in the image of Man
created him.
2 And Man gave unto God a multitude of
names,that he might be Lord of all
the earth when it was suited to Man.
3 And on the seven millionth
day Man rested and did lean
heavily on his God and saw that
it was good.
4 And Man formed Aqualung of
the dust of the ground, and a
host of others likened unto his kind.
5 And these lesser men were cast into the
void; And some were burned, and some were
put apart from their kind.
6 And Man became the God that he had
created and with his miracles did
rule over all the earth.
7 But as all these things
came to pass, the Spirit that did
cause man to create his God
lived on within all men: even
within Aqualung.
8 And man saw it not.
9 But for Christ's sake he'd
better start looking.
This is from Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" album cover. I remember nodding my head the first time I read it.
and in the image of Man
created him.
2 And Man gave unto God a multitude of
names,that he might be Lord of all
the earth when it was suited to Man.
3 And on the seven millionth
day Man rested and did lean
heavily on his God and saw that
it was good.
4 And Man formed Aqualung of
the dust of the ground, and a
host of others likened unto his kind.
5 And these lesser men were cast into the
void; And some were burned, and some were
put apart from their kind.
6 And Man became the God that he had
created and with his miracles did
rule over all the earth.
7 But as all these things
came to pass, the Spirit that did
cause man to create his God
lived on within all men: even
within Aqualung.
8 And man saw it not.
9 But for Christ's sake he'd
better start looking.
This is from Jethro Tull's "Aqualung" album cover. I remember nodding my head the first time I read it.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
That it did ru12, that it did. And thank you; it did and does feel very peaceful.
I'm also a Tull fan LBrain. Honestly I never knew what the album was about but with your citation, and just now checking my favorite general resource, Wikipedia, I see that it's about the distinction between religion and God. That's one of the things that hung me up for so long. All the crap that has happened, and is still happening, in the name of religion(s).
Frankly, it no longer matters to me; other than feeling badly for both the victims and the perpetrators. God, as I now understand him, is very personal. He's within me. I have no desire to have anyone else feel the same way unless they come to believe it can help them. I feel everyone has to find his own God. I just know my God is good and wants me to follow the golden rule so that I can be at peace with myself and others.
I'm also a Tull fan LBrain. Honestly I never knew what the album was about but with your citation, and just now checking my favorite general resource, Wikipedia, I see that it's about the distinction between religion and God. That's one of the things that hung me up for so long. All the crap that has happened, and is still happening, in the name of religion(s).
Frankly, it no longer matters to me; other than feeling badly for both the victims and the perpetrators. God, as I now understand him, is very personal. He's within me. I have no desire to have anyone else feel the same way unless they come to believe it can help them. I feel everyone has to find his own God. I just know my God is good and wants me to follow the golden rule so that I can be at peace with myself and others.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Just reread your post Gottalife. The Big Book and AA embers most certainly have helped me get to where I am today; on the road to recovery. It's not a destination, just a very nice place to be passing through; finally "understanding" that God, or Good (as I've called Him before) is within me. I need to appreciate and nurture him to continue to improve my life.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I think of my higher power as the wind. I can't see the wind nor hold it but I see and feel it's presence and power everywhere. I see how it interacts with me and the things around me. That it exists I have no doubt but like the wind it something I will never catch
Recovered from Hopeless State
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
A good friend of mine (not a member here and not alcoholic) sent me the following when I sent him a copy of the post I started this thread with. I think it's beautiful so thought I'd share it here:
"My view is that God or the higher power is pervasive, it weaves through us and the world around us; This force ties us together… it exists in nature, in the sky, the oceans. God vibrates in all living things, but he/she/it also had a hand in sculpting the planet and universe, God has his hand in everything that is moving, and even the stillest of mountains and depths of the oceans are moving .. look everywhere for how “God’s hand” as created the environment we live in.. and realize that the devil (evil/chaos) tries mightily to undo the beautiful work that God is doing".
"My view is that God or the higher power is pervasive, it weaves through us and the world around us; This force ties us together… it exists in nature, in the sky, the oceans. God vibrates in all living things, but he/she/it also had a hand in sculpting the planet and universe, God has his hand in everything that is moving, and even the stillest of mountains and depths of the oceans are moving .. look everywhere for how “God’s hand” as created the environment we live in.. and realize that the devil (evil/chaos) tries mightily to undo the beautiful work that God is doing".
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I humbly offered myself to my Maker. Then I knew", etc...
I always new about god and had lots of faith etc.. and I know there is no other way I would have made it through.
I prayed to god so many times make me hate the taste or something. I prayed he'd deliver me from this. He sent me anxiety and panic attacks and such a rough recovery that I think it taught me a much needed lesson. at the same time I felt him grab my by the hand yank me out of that pit and told me to hold on and he helped me along the way.
I dunno that I'd have it any other way. If he made it easy on me I would have gotten over confident and picked up and relapsed.
I prayed for this I got it and I'm thankful for it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
hes there... just pray with all your heart. GOD WILL NEVER GIVE US MORE THEN WE CAN HANDLE... HE MADE THAT PROMISE... PRAY...
Recovered from Hopeless State
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
God is a pretty simple concept to me now... God == Good. One letter apart, coincidence?
I just have to do the next Right thing, one day at a time. The only thing I have to lean on is the Good within me and stay the hell away from the evil (hate, blame, jealousy, ...).
I just have to do the next Right thing, one day at a time. The only thing I have to lean on is the Good within me and stay the hell away from the evil (hate, blame, jealousy, ...).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Do you know what Agnostic means?
As far as I know, its greek meaning "Without Knowledge"
All I know is that the journey from the heart to the head is the longest.
I stopped looking "out there" a long time ago.
Its inside us all.
I do not know if you are an A and Aer or not. But this is straight out of AA's basic text book named Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. For deep down within every man, woman and child, is a fundamental idea of a Higher Power. I think that its blocked, by many things, primarly prejudice.
As far as I know, its greek meaning "Without Knowledge"
All I know is that the journey from the heart to the head is the longest.
I stopped looking "out there" a long time ago.
Its inside us all.
I do not know if you are an A and Aer or not. But this is straight out of AA's basic text book named Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. For deep down within every man, woman and child, is a fundamental idea of a Higher Power. I think that its blocked, by many things, primarly prejudice.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by matt4x4 
Do you know what Agnostic means?
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