Nervous about tonite.

[namommy]

I just started a new job about 4 months ago. The people from work get together quite often on the weekends and from their conversations on Monday it sounds like there is drinking involved, sometimes too much. Well, tonite they are having a get together and invited me. I was told I should go because I don't want to appear anti-social or anything. It's not that I am afraid I will drink, I've been to other social settings where drinking was involved. My fear is, no one knows I am in recovery. I plan on just saying "no thank you, I don't drink" and I am hoping it stops there. I am afraid they may question further and I really don't want to get into it. I've had bad experiences in the past once employers and co-workers learned I was in recovery and I don't want to revisit it. Why can't recovery be socially acceptable?

Thanks

Laurie D

[Anna]

Namommy,

Why not say "No thank-you" and let it go at that. You don't need to add that you don't drink or any other explanation. And, recovery is just not socially acceptable, I agree with you. I wish it was too. If people pry too much with me I try to turn the tables and make them feel uncomfortable - not very nice, I guess, but I find it so frustrating sometimes!

Love, Anna

[Dan]

Originally Posted by 51anna

If people pry too much with me I try to turn the tables and make them feel uncomfortable - not very nice, I guess, but I find it so frustrating sometimes!
Love, Anna

Anna! What I find truly unacceptable is people that don't take no thank you for a valid answer. Nothing frosts my socks off more. It can bring out the in me! If I'm feeling charitable, I'll answer their inevitable Why not? with I don't drink anymore. . If that doesn't put an end to it, it's their funeral

[JaySee]

Hi Laurie

I usually case the joint when I get there. Being that I could sniff out "a real drinker", when I was drinking, and make a bee line for them, as I knew there would much boozing, and no judgement, I try and turn this around. Now I make a direct effort to hang out with the non-drinkers, the people I probably used to think were boring, or just not exciting. Turns out, nothing could be more different. They are by far the most interesting and stimulating.

Take care tonight - if things get tricky, just hang around for a bit then leave, you're not being a party pooper, you come first.

Much love

JC

[tryinagain]

Namommy,
I too have had that issue come up many times and I should not even try to give advice on this one as the last office party I went to I fell. You know the whole, aw one is not going to kill ya thing. I got pressured because I did not drink at the Christmas and it was like, just relax, have a drink and unwind. Needless to say, it did not turn out nice as a few of us went overboard. I finally talked to my boss about things and just told him that I have a problem with the stuff and he understood and said that he still wants me to attend functions and out of respect for me, we will drink water or juice or soda, together. Turns out that he too has a problem with the stuff. You dont have to go into the whole recovery thing, just say "no thanks" and leave it at that. If they cannot accept that then make a quick exit even if you have to use an excuse like "sorry, I have to take so and so to wherever, see everybody Monday". Just a suggestion as that is what I am going to do next time.
Best of Luck,
Roy

[jenniferaz1980]

namommy-

This is a hard one. I know I have been there time and time again. I stick with the "no thank you" and if they pry I just say I am not drinking tonight. If they continue I use the old designated driver line. It usurally works. If it dosnt stop I leave. It works for me!

[namommy]

Thanks everyone,

I talked to my sponsor as well (I haven't been able to reach her for a couple days) she called me back this morning. And, decided I will go a little late, and leave a little early. Stick with "no thank you" and leave it at that. If they push, just say "no, really I'm fine with soda" and that's it. If things get hairy, I'll leave and go to the midnight meeting (which I might do anyway) and harrass the newcomers (just kidding about the harrassment).lol

I realize that one reason I am so nervous is my bosses assistant who is also one of my supervisors has a sister who recently got sober in AA. When ever she talks about her sister and her friends from AA she calls them "Those REHAB people" with the emphasis on the word rehab. I usually start to laugh inside when she says it, but this could hit too close to home.

Thanks again,

Love ya

Laurie D

[jenniferaz1980]

Good Luck namommy- The midnight meeting is a great idea. I think I will have to hit one of those tonight after a night out with the friends.

"the rehab people" is alot better than "the junky"

[namommy]

Oh well,

I don't have to be nervous anymore, my baby sitter bailed on me. I can't even go to the meeting now. I would try to take the boys with me, but I didn't give my son his ritalin today (don't like to on the weekends, only on school days) and there is no way he will sit still and quiet for 1 1/2 hours. And the 6 year old, well...he's 6...nuff said. I called my co-worker with my regrets and told her next time. Thanks for the support anyway.

Laurie D

[Chy]

What your sponce said! (For future referance )