Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > All About Recovery > What is Recovery?
Reload this Page >

Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery



Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery

Old 03-23-2012, 04:47 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 174
Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery

Reading many threads & comments here, including the 'normies' threads in the family forums, there seems to be a strong culture of 'us vs them' in regards to addicts vs non-addicts. In some instances it seems like it's almost worn as a badge of honor by some.

Not only do I not want to consider myself something apart from normal, I don't think doing so would be accurate. Nor do I think seeing myself as abnormal would be conducive to improvement.

Some of us are certainly predisposed to such behavior, but IMO addiction is something that can claim nearly anyone. And 'normal' people... they have their problems too, and they have problems dealing with their problems. Just like us.

I'm curious what other people's thoughts are. But personally - I see myself as being just as normal as anyone else. Like any other human on this planet, I have my own set of problems that I have to work through. My problems may be different from Joe Blows, but that doesn't make him any more normal than me.
GrowingDaily is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 04:58 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Gavinandnikki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 143
Hi,
I think that the 12-step programs promote the concept of "addictive thinking" and, certainly, in rehab, I met many folks that thought very similarly to me as far as drugs and alcohol were concerned.
So, although, I am a "normal" person (hopefully lol), I am very prone to drug, alcohol, and in general, pleasure seeking behaviors. Does that make me an addict? Don't care what label anyone puts on me. I know that if drugging and drinking were safe and had no negative consequences, I'd probably be doing either one (or both) pretty regularly!

Take care,
PJ
sobriety date 12/28/2011
Gavinandnikki is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 05:45 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Spawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm proud of it......acceptance is a part of my recovery.
Spawn is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 06:10 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
MsJax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
I agree with Spawn. I don't broadcast it to the masses, but I do identify myself as an alcoholic in recovery. It is not detrimental (for me) at all.
MsJax is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 06:11 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:   « USA »                       Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Normal people don't drink. The idea that only 'alcoholics' do not drink, and that 'normies' must drink is an inversion.

Worldwide Lifetime Alcohol Abstention
Terminally Unique is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 06:21 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hollyanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
There have been some fierce brawls here with the "us versus them" stuff coming out all ugly and like a bar-room brawl, the moderators come in, break it up and send everyone to bed.
The thing I learned right after throwing a chair through the window was that the people who live with alcoholics, or grew up with alcoholic parents are HURTING.
And the alcoholics who are really quite sensitive, are hurt by some of the things they read.
As the moderators say, sometimes it is better to stop reading and move on. Or, at least, take a walk around the block, cool off and then try and comment in a non-confrontational, kind way. Or, don't comment and keep walking.

Same goes for when you see a post and you feel like screaming at the poster for being an idiot or want to just tell them to get real or whatever. Leave cooler heads deal, and go to the Arcade section and play bejewelled for a half hour. (OK, the mods don't really say "go play bejewelled", but you get the idea.

Last edited by Dee74; 03-23-2012 at 06:59 PM. Reason: clean up aisle 6
Hollyanne is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 08:37 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Taking5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I hate it when people use the word "normies" or "earthlings" to refer to those that don't abuse alcohol or drugs. I do however believe that it is import for me to self identify as an alcoholic.
Taking5 is offline  
Old 03-23-2012, 08:47 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Impurrfect's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm both a recovering addict, and I'm a codependent...spent decades with A's, turned to drugs to deal with it, and am STILL dealing with family members, who I love dearly, but are active in their addiction.

I don't tell EVERYONE that I'm an RA, but I'm back in school and have let a few classmates and instructors know (the question of "why aren't you a nurse anymore" kept coming up, and I felt confident with those few to tell the truth...I've gotten nothing but support).

I live in a house with an active A (stepmom), an enabler/codie dad, and a niece who has been severely affected by addiction...she's 18 and 2 months pregnant.

I work my addiction and codie recoveries every day. When I slip into the family drama, I come here and get re-grounded.

I've been told I don't need to reveal my past to everyone, and I don't...however, when I feel safe enough with the person, I do. I've met many other RA's and F&F by doing so, and it's always been a positive experience.

I consider my addiction as a chapter in my life that is closed, as long as I continue to work my recovery. However, I'm willing to share MY experience with selected people. I'm not that person any more..got 5 years in recovery, and am still digging out of the whole that I dug myself into. I'm still dealing with consequences, but I have faith that at some time, I will get past them.

I would have never thought that admitting my past to my car insurance agent (try explaining a totaled car, two cars "stolen" (read rented out) in 6 months would lead to her saying "I need to talk to you...my son is using meth". I will forever reach out when I'm comfortable, but I also have to remember than I'm not the person I was and I don't have to tell everyone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
Impurrfect is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 06:26 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
L'il fighter
 
midgetcop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 297
I'm not a fan of us vs them either in ANY situation, but I can see where the encouragement to consider ourselves as 'different' comes from. I think there's a fear that if we consider ourselves as 'normal', then we may convince ourselves that we can go back to drinking like 'normal' people. In that sense, we may have to constantly remind ourselves that we simply can't drink 'normally' like 'normal' people do.

But yeah, generally speaking I don't like to think of myself like a leper or anything. TU is right - 'normal' should not be equated to drinking, although that's what everyone tends to do.
midgetcop is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 02:07 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Db1105's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
I'm a human being with the disease of alcoholism. I'm no different from any other human being walking on this planet.
Db1105 is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 02:28 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Maybe addict isn't a useful word because no one wants to be one. It really seems to be a fine line between 'normal' and 'alcoholic' and seeing as 'only you can decide if you have a problem' you can decide for yourself. People in AA are going to call themselves addicts and people using AVRT aren't. Each to their own. Personally I don't know/haven't decided yet. But I do know that there's no such thing as 'normal'. Everyone has their own demons to fight but it does seem that alcohol and drugs have more negative consequences than most bad habits.
hypochondriac is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 02:47 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
...not falling down them
 
stairs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
Well if I am an addict that means I am prone to addiction, where Jane Doe next door may not be but maybe she has other issues to overcome....what I find interesting is when a person will say it frequently to explain their behaviors that are not related. Example; "I left the groceries sitting on the counter at the store. I'm such a fricken addict". A close friend of mine did this for the first year or two of his clean time, has since ceased doing it, is clean about four years. It was some sort of major self identifying phase, don't know! but used to make me a little nutz.
stairs is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 03:17 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
lillyknitting
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by Spawn View Post
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm proud of it......acceptance is a part of my recovery.
What I feel confused about is I don't feel I'm an alcoholic, inasmuch as I don't feel different to any other person who drinks too much and if anyone drinks too much it can get hold of you and cause you problems. As i don't feel "different"from the next person then theoretically I have nothing to recover from.but I will say that if I drink too much it causes me no end of problems, like it does anybody else.
lillyknitting is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 06:11 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Spawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Acceptance isn't easy.....the trick isn't to get too hung up on words like addict or alcoholic but to move onto addressing the underlining issues that drive us to use or drink.

For me I had to go back as far as my childhood......I was abused mentally and physically by my mother and I had to come to terms with all those hurtful negative feelings.......
between AA and addiction counseling I was able to allow that inner child to grieve and heal.

Lifestyle changes meant learning to stay away from unhealthy people, places, and things.

It's hard to fly like an eagle if your surrounded by turkeys!
Spawn is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 06:16 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hollyanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
"It's hard to fly like an eagle if your surrounded by turkeys!"

I love that saying.
I had that on my pencil-case in school!
LOL, maybe I wasn't so dumb after all.
Hollyanne is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 07:43 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery

No, I think it's necessary for my recovery. I thought I was "normal" for too long and the consequences only got worse.

I know who I am today and what my problem is; and for this, I am grateful.
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 03-24-2012, 09:57 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
macknacat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
identifying as an addict is important to me because it is a small reminder of what life holds for me if i decide that i can use again. Sure , my life is big now [16 yrs clean] but i have been around long enough to see others who have decided that they can/should use/drink again. So far the results have been ugly/deadly. So i'll keep using that i.d. 'trick' as another reinforcement ...

I also see enough obsessive /compulsive behavior - and i can't say its necessarily my "addict" - but its still a bit unnerving. So its kinda comforting to throw that "addict thinking" label on it - means i 'm gonna have to look at that area of my life too. [sigh]

What i HAVE seen happen - folk get caught up in a 'junkie pride' mode [yes, yours truly as well] might be from wanting to be a Part of Something ... might be leftover 'drug ritual ' thinking. and it could have a lot to do with the romance of the outlaw life... So yeah- many of us grow out of that stage.
macknacat is offline  
Old 03-26-2012, 03:28 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Katiekate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
THere is no shame in being an alcoholic, or an addict, or whatever.

Everyone is addicted to something. It's details, I had an addiction to a psyche med, I got off it and spent alot of time blaiming my doctor for addciting me to it. Took no responsibilty for my own recovery, once I admitted to myself I was an addcit, my recovery was a lot easier.

It's semantics, I personally don't care. If you do something everyday, and it has a big effect on your family, your friends , you life, it's addcition or a problem or an issue. Unfortunately when you are the only participating in the behavior, it does somehow become you against them.



The hurt that addcition causes the people who love you is unreal.
Katiekate is offline  
Old 03-26-2012, 04:26 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
SOBERINNEPA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
I self-identify as an alcoholic. I don't carry a banner around proclaiming my status as a man addicted to alcohol but I don't really try to hide it for a couple reasons;
- Acceptance. This is the primary step in sustaining my recovery. I accept that drinking will bring disaster into my life.
- Support and oversight. My support network extends beyond AA. My family and friends know that I've made a commitment to not drink and I know I'm an alcoholic and may... probably will... okay, already have felt the temptation to "just have one or two" because who'd know. I've made it so that somebody will know, and will make sure I know that they know. We're a very knowledgeable lot.
- My personal statement of responsibility. I do take seriously the effort other people, AAs and non-AAs, have undertaken to help me get, and stay, sober. Maybe a friend, or a friend of a friend, or a child of a friend, has a problem with alcohol or addiction. I believe it's incumbent upon me to share what I've been given. "I want the hand of A.A to always be there, and for that I am responsible."
SOBERINNEPA is offline  
Old 03-26-2012, 04:51 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
stillsleeping's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
I'm goin to tread really carefully here...

I posted one of the threads that Hollyanne's referencing above. Dee shut that thread down, and I can see that he edited some of what she posted above. I don't want to re-open it.

Clear?

...I don't see addicts vs non-addicts. I didn't see our thread as being a brawl at all, but a group of people wanting to understand, and "telling us it was time to go to bed" were my words of thanks to Dee.

I do see some stereotyping and misinformation. I am an alcoholic. It's not a badge of honour, but it is something that I am. Admitting to it means that some people have preconceptions about me that can be hard to deal with. And, yeah, it bugs me to know that some people don't consider me to be normal, and to know that I've done things to earn their classification of me.

I'm not proud of being an alcoholic, and I've only told a couple of people I'm in recovery. I hope I tell more people as time goes on.

But all that's complicated. You asked whether self-identifying is important? It's ten to one in the afternoon here. If I hadn't identified myself as an alcoholic I'd be w&nkered by now.
stillsleeping is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:29 PM.