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Old 08-07-2011, 10:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Why is quitting drinking so difficult? I'm a non Alcoholic

Why is it so difficult to quit drinking? What do you go through - how does it feel?

My husband is an alcoholic and I'm done and done but I really need to know why it's so hard to quit - is this different from other addictions? I've gone through withdrawal from quitting ativan after 20 years of use. If I'd done it in hospital they would have had me in restraints. It was hell but after a couple of months off I'm doing well. I smoke and I'm thinking this is more like quitting drinking. The brain needs that hit every 1/2 hour or so. It's psychological mostly - it's how I cope with alot of things. I'm bipolar and doing well now but when I quit smoking I felt like I do off my meds. Went back to it and was fine within a couple of days. I stayed off cigs for a month and was still not feeling better and figured that I'd rather die of cancer than insanity.

I know that many RA's smoke. Is quitting smoking harder than quitting drinking? I know that the success rate for staying off alcohol is really low. Why is that? What is it about alcoholism that keeps people going back?

I have used alcohol in the past before learning how to cope with severe anxiety - I self-medicated. I wasn't addicted and very fortunate because it is in my family.



I have one more question which doesn't have to do with the above. I read a post on the forum yesterday. The poster listed the drugs he'd taken. One was mda. I took alot of mda when I was a teen. I've googled it and cannot find any info on it. Hopefully that poster reads this. Does anyone know what mda stands for? Is it another term for ecstacy?
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Old 08-07-2011, 11:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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MDMA is the actual drug. You can look up the information now that you have the correct name.

As far as the drinking, it's different for everyone. I don't have one pat answer for you.
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Old 08-07-2011, 11:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danielleinto View Post
My husband is an alcoholic and I'm done and done but I really need to know why it's so hard to quit - is this different from other addictions? I've gone through withdrawal from quitting ativan after 20 years of use. If I'd done it in hospital they would have had me in restraints. It was hell but after a couple of months off I'm doing well.
I have quit several addictions in my lifetime - Nicotine, marijuana, cocaine, et cetera. They were like you said "... after a couple of months off I'm doing well".

When I quit drinking, I expected the urge to drink to go away after a couple of months. However, in my case (being alcoholic), I found I missed it more as time went on. I was getting crazier and crazier each week. There was no relief in sight.

What I eventually did get was a "Spiritual Experience" that liberated me from my obsession in one enlightening moment. It was not however, the result of time spent not-drinking, but rather the result of living a whole new lifestyle. It was not just a matter of changing my thinking. I had to change the way I acted 24x7 before my thinking changed automatically.

If none of this makes sense to you, that is just the ISM part of alcohol-ISM. It defies logic and reason. Maybe that is why using logic and reason to beat it seldom works.
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Old 08-07-2011, 12:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Methylenedioxymethamphetamine
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Old 08-07-2011, 12:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Experiences vary widely here.

In my own case, I had one HELL of a time getting the point where I understood that there was simply no possibility of me drinking without destroying myself. Once I fully appreciated that fact, I became fully committed to abstinence, and that commitment has never changed. The cravings were gone within 6 months or so and have never returned. I was a daily blackout drinker for 25 years, so I thought it would be much worse than it actually was. Perhaps it was the absolute commitment that did it; I don't know for sure.
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Old 08-07-2011, 08:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Read The Doctor's Opinion in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It explains that it is an allergy of the body which starts as a mental obsession. Thinking that one day I could just drink 1, I end up drinking until I pass out. The claim is also that there is a spiritual part that can help. Listen to some AA speakers tell their story.

Non alkies & alkies really don't understand how each drinks.

A non alkie tild me yesterday she & hubby are still drinking from a bottle opened in 2006.

I've drunk her & hubby's LIFETIME amount in a week or so.
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Old 08-07-2011, 11:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for helping me understand. I get it now - my husband could never answer the question because there is no logical answer to the why of it. It's personal and I guess the why is different for each individual but you can't answer it until you've gotten to the other side. I understand the science of alcohol addiction re the brain but the psychological part is what had me stumped. I realize now that the craving is what drives people back. I'm getting a glimpse of why it's so hard. A person needs to do alot of work on themselves and fight the craving while they do it.

My dad quit drinking after years of bringing home a case of 24 every night. He never worked on himself though which is sad. I came out of there a mess and I'm still working on myself. We're all a work in progress.

Thanks for not taking what I asked as an attack. I'm not judging anyone. Thank-you for sharing.
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Old 08-07-2011, 11:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I did find out exactly what mda is - thank-you for the proper term. It's a freakin miracle that we come out of our teenage years alive. I'm shaking my head here. lol
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Old 08-08-2011, 10:38 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Boleo, I re-read your reply today. I'd asked my husband this question yesterday and he couldn't answer it. I told him today that I'd asked it here and if he wanted to hear the reply. I read him your reply because it's so simple - change the way you act. It makes so much sense. I've been to alot of counselling over the years and it all comes down to that. I've been told to fake it and go through the motions and it would eventually become real and it's true. I did get each time that a change in attitude is what I needed to grasp what I was figuring out in counselling. You can't put anything you learn into practice until you do it.

Anyway, i asked my husband if he wanted to hear your reply and he did. He was interested and not humouring me. There was still no eye contact but he heard what you said.

I came to this site to learn how to deal with the anger in me. Detached and angry isn't a good thing. My dad was an alcoholic, my husband is and I suffer from mental illness so it was all here on this forum. Reading the posts on this board written by people who are alcoholics is teaching me compassion. Being detached but compassionate I think is going to fix this anger.
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Old 08-08-2011, 02:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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... I've been told to fake it and go through the motions and it would eventually become real and it's true. I did get each time that a change in attitude is what I needed to grasp what I was figuring out in counselling. You can't put anything you learn into practice until you do it.
I think you "Get it". It is a direct result of action, not thinking. There is something about leading a principle driven life that changes thinking for us.

It works more or less like good Karma - only more so, if that makes any sense.
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Old 08-08-2011, 03:13 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks, Boleo. My neighbors were just outside passing something and cougjing, talking loudly...I have no reaction right now. A few months ago, I was drooling, trying to figure out how to be part of that mind-numbing activity.

Today, everything is so different. Except that I'm putting off my laundry thinking "I don't wanna do it" I know it will be done. Things change slowly for me. Spiritual awakening...hmmm....
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Old 08-11-2011, 06:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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As has been said already,every one of us is Different and have to do different things to get better.
I lost the Mental obsession for Alcohol as well as Drugs by attending AA, and it did not happen over night.The obsessions left somehow and then turned into other things,which I am now dealing with as they belonged to my past,but were affecting me in the Present..
Those things are/were,Anger,Rage,control,attachments,etc.

I could never make any sense of all this......as I had done my Step 4 and Five to the Best of my Ability........and I still remained anxious and in pain.

Someone at one of the AA meetings said I may need to go to ACA.
I did not know what this was until I checked it out.
I got the Laundry List and Problem+ the solution, and It all made sense.
I was Parented by Dysfunctional Adults who depended on Drink and Tranqualisers to Relax themselves...............as a child and young adult I would not have Knowen this.........therefore to cope with life I needed to do what they did.........so I became an Addict........and needed sedation to cope with life as well.

This is/was the Root Cause of my addictions,so to get well I needed to Re Parent Myself.
What a Journey I have been on for the Past couple of years...........Re Parenting my Inner Child.
There is much more about this ACA Program on this and other sites.Good Luck to you.
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