Why quit?

[tootalldawg]

Yes, I have the state of mind that alcohol is needed in my life. I slept like crap if I don't have some Jim Beam/Coke, my work day starts off with the shakes (especially if I don't take a 1mg xanax in the morning...and I've trained myself to avoid people/co-workers seeing the anxiety attacks, shakes). Plus, I have crazy dreams while I sleep, which is not my main concern....it's the night sweats. Beam/Coke and I hit that hard sleep realm and the next day I feel great, with no baggy eyes. If I go a day without Beam/Coke, I feel and look like crap. I'm not afraid of death, which tells me in the short lives we live....why quit? My drinking doesn't effect anyone because it's just my dog and I, along with that, I make good money that pays my bills, entertainment purchases, and savings for family.

My ultimate question is....why quit? Am I caught up in a illusion? Alcohol has destroyed many families and killed many people in car wrecks. Those individuals have had an entire different mentality as me. But, if I use it as an sensible way to provide me through this short life, why quit? And when I say short life, what I refer to is living life to the extreme. Why die at 70 with less smiles and laughs than someone at 40? And this scenario doesn't have to involve alcohol so I may be getting off track. I guess the way I see things right now is Beam/Coke is my medication.

[Dee74]

I used alcohol as my medication too - as pain relief (emotional and physical), as a stress relief, as a social lubricant, as something to do when I was bored, as a means of escape, as a means of avoiding problems and worries....

My problem was alcoholism is progressive - I was an alcoholic - and I ended up using alcohol for nearly everything. I drank from sunup to bedtime.

I pushed the 'life is short play hard' line...and the 'I'm not hurting anyone' line too, but both are pretty flimsy when you look at them IMO.

I did hurt people. I drove a lot of people away...easier to drink that way.

I ended up a loner - the only people who'd hang with me were other boozers.

As for life...well, when I ended up nearly dying from my drinking at 40, I reevaulated what life and death meant to me pretty damn quick.

My life flashed before me and my main thought was, frankly... 'you idiot. What a waste.'

If you feel your drinking's not causing you problems at all, and it doesn't leave you with any negative repercussions or consequences, fine...

but then I'm not sure why you'd be posting here?

Dawg, if you're shaking, and you need booze to do stuff, you may well already be on the way to where I was.

It's not a nice road, man. You'll end up hating drinking, but still have to do it anyway.

I hope you get more responses here. The drinking life really is a sad one - thats why I drank so much.

It's not easy to give it up, but I've never regretted it.

I'm happy and I love my life now. I can look at myself in the eyes in the mirror again.

I'm looking forward to many more happy years - and all I had to do was step away from the bottle....

You'll find a lot of support here - welcome
D

[MichealR]

40 is young! Keep drinking like that maybe thats how far you will go. But than again I have heard it said that theres more old drunks than there are old doctors.

[Impurrfect]

Welcome to SR!!

I, too, wonder why you'd post here if you're perfectly content with needing drink to sleep, needing xanax to get past the shakes in the morning, needing to avoid people until the anxiety gets under control.

Thing is, as ((Dee)) pointed out, alcoholism is progressive. It easily turns into "anything is a reason to drink". The routine you have now isn't going to last.

For some it takes a while to progress, not so for others. You can look forward to not having to worry about avoiding coworkers, as you won't have a job. Not many employers like having an employee who has to drink to get through the day.

Then there's the physical...liver failure (which sucks, btw..I used to be a nurse), feeling nauseated all the time as your stomach looks like you're 14 months pregnant with triplets, turning a "lovely" shade of yellow, everything in your body hurts. The xanax 1mg will eventually not be enough any more, just as the amount you're drinking won't be enough.

If you want to continue this life, nothing I or anyone else can say will stop you. I am an animal lover, BTW. I do hope you have someone in your life who would notice if you weren't around a few days, as your dog lays there starving and grieving to death.

I abused one thing or another for over 20 years..crack is the one that eventually brought me to my knees. I've got 4+ years in recovery, and had absolutely NO idea that all those times I thought I was having such a good time, that I wasn't hurting anyone were a total fallacy.

My life is far from perfect, but it is SO much better than when I let some substance control me. I had no idea how much better life could be until I quit.

If you're willing yourself to die, you've got a good start on it. However, if you'd like to find out what life is like WITHOUT the stuff, there are plenty of people here who can help you out.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

[newwings]

Originally Posted by tootalldawg

Alcohol has destroyed many families and killed many people in car wrecks. Those individuals have had an entire different mentality as me.


But, if I use it as an sensible way to provide me through this short life, why quit? And when I say short life, what I refer to is living life to the extreme. Why die at 70 with less smiles and laughs than someone at 40?

Point A). Nope, 'those individuals' all felt the same way as you.
Point B). I don't think waking up feel like shite in the morning, shaking, sick and hungover and having to take xanax and avoid people to get yourself together is living with smiles and laughs

Anyhow, if you feel like you want to continue living like this, it's okay. I don't see that you are hurting anyone, like you say - as long as you don't drive drunk, or treat people badly. It just saddens me that you have sunk into the inevitability of drinking yourself to death. 40 is only 18 months older than me, and I really don't feel done yet. Are you sure you are?

[Zencat]

Why quit? Good question. Alcohol when the intake is at abusive levels, especially daily, will cause, heart, liver, kidney, brain, stomach...problems, just to mention a few of the health risks. These often accumulative problems have been acknowledge to cause premature death. Just a deadly fact you may have over looked.

Maybe it its time to consider long term sobriety...just a thought. Being involved here at SR can help with that .

[GettingStronger2]

Only you know the answer to why quit. If you need booze to sleep, you may have a problem. I don't know you.

You should know alcohol inteferes with REM sleep, so you may not be getting the quality of sleep you think.

Keep drinking daily if you want. Best of luck. We will be here for you should you decide to quit.

[BackToSquareOne]

We've probably all known people who lived to a ripe old age and drank heavily without ever crashing and burning in some epic fashion. I guess the real question is how much fuller their lives could have been without the alcohol. It's not always about what the drinking causes you to do so much as what it keeps you from doing...., you know all the little things that the alcohol replaces.

[mikefreak]

You know why you should quit. At your age, if you don't do domething about your deadly addiction, you will start to go downhill fast- physically, emotionally, & morally. You HAVE to make concessions to the ageing process...PLUS, you will be emotionally (sic), stillborn. You won't GROW as a person. You will remain in your sick, sad state for the rest of your life. Save yourself!

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by tootalldawg

My ultimate question is....why quit? Am I caught up in a illusion? Alcohol has destroyed many families and killed many people in car wrecks. Those individuals have had an entire different mentality as me. But, if I use it as an sensible way to provide me through this short life, why quit?

First of all, I had to take it all the way before I quit. If I thought I could get one more good month out of drinking, I would have tried it. So if you choose to ignore my advise, I will not be a bit surprised.

On the other hand, alcoholism is a progressive disease (illness). Not just most of the time. I am talking about 100.00% of the time. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but in the long run it only gets worse, never better.

If you do choose to go on to the bitter end, here is a list of YETS that you have to look forward to;

I have not been fired YET
I have not gotten a DUI YET
I have not been hospitalized YET
I have not gone to jail YET
I have not lost my family YET
I have not been homeless YET
I have not been Institutionalized YET
I have not died from this disease YET

[4thekidz]

Rather than expanding on all the eloquent ressponses, let me give you this so-called "high-functioning alcoholic's" view....

I am 44, professional, great wife, kids, stable situation......

After 15 years, I felt like crap when I wasn't drinking, then eventually even when I was, and all of these things started 2-3 years ago:

Lapses in judgement when I was drunk, and in between drinking, led me to put my children at unnecessary risk and embarrass myself.

I had to sneak into the liquor cabinet every 3am to get back to sleep.

I stopped socializing, when I had to, I was miserable.

My previously strong erections became not so strong, and then I stopped functioning entirely because of alcohol's physical and emotional effects.

I missed kids' karate meets, swim meets, piano recitals, and general good times with the family...and I was physically present, just.....gone....

I am now sober 16 days, and, 63 out of 65. I watch my kids play and compete with the enjoyment a parent should have, and I make love to my wife the way a husband should.

What kind of life do you envision in 4 years when you are my age?

Good luck to you.

[happyplace]

I just wanted to say, thanks so much to all of you. I saved this page and will re-read it if I ever start thinking of drinking again. So many powerful and persuasive words here.

[Mariano]

Why quit?

Tootaldawg, the answer is in your post. It's worth quitting to:

-- Dont sleep like crap
-- dont have shakes
-- Dont have to take xanax
-- Dont have to avoid people/coworkers
-- Dont have anxiety attacks
-- Dont have crazy dreams
-- Dont have night sweats

All those problems are due to alcohol abuse. They will get much more worse, certainly. This is only the beginning. Dying from alcohol is not that easy: you will have to pass many years of unbearable suffering. It's up to you.

Sorry, my english is quite poor.

[Wolfy87]

Why did I decide to stop drinking?
I am sick of waking up and regretting what I did during the night when I had too much alcohol. I regretted the things I said to people. I regretted how much of a jerk I can be when I drink. I'm sick of the hangovers and sick of feeling sick. I am sick of feeling like I need to throwup because I drank too much. I am sick of trying to find my way back home when I'm drunk.

I am a much better person when I'm sober. If I need to be drunk to keep friends than I'd rather not have any friends. I want to be liked for who I really am because I am wonderful just the way I am.

[sable1]

I thought like that as well, but then the problems started to come. And they came very hard and suddenly.

[Redmayne]

I'm puzzled??? I mean if you don't want to, why are you asking other people? Doesn't bother me if you drink or not, you're life, you're perogative,go ahead..

You see the thing that seems to be missing here, is the well known fact that the suggested 12 Step programme of recovery outlined in the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous' is a 'selfish' programme, you do it for yourself, no one else, not for your wife, your employer or anyone else, trying to get sober for someone else is a complete waste of time, I don't even know you, it's highly unlikely we'll ever meet and I certainly didn't get sober for you or anyone else !!!

I can then only presume that your post ,'Why quit?' is in the form of a rhetorical question, the answer to which, as any psychologist/ recovering alcoholic will tell you, lies in yourself, may be you just haven't reached your 'rock bottom', may be you'll never reach your 'rock bottom', not in this life anyway, matter for you.

The one thing I do know is that alcoholism is like a lift, descending in a tower block, with the help of the 12 Step suggested programme, found in 'the Big Book' and the people on SRC, you can stop it and get off, any time you want, or you can stay in the lift, carry on your old ways, and keep asking yourself and any others in there with you,'Why quit?' and have yourselves a real 'pity party' , your decision, but you get sober, for you, no good asking others to justify whether you drink or not, you can do that all by yourself and know that aching , loneliness that is the one, constant companion of all alcoholics OR may be you could stick around , read the posts, get advice, may be even one day go to an AA meeting, talk to people, whatever...

but you get sober for YOU!!! ok, take care and may the god of your understanding go with you.

[tootalldawg]

First of all, thank you for all the replies! Good people here. And I’ve always been the nice drunk who looks after my friends and family. And that’s the thing….a lot of people quit drinking because they get violent or selfish. Not me, so my drinking doesn’t affect my personality. But, that’s no excuses for me to not quit drinking.

Yes, I agree with Dee74 on how drinking can be progressive. I’ve actually observed it with myself over the past 2 years. I have excelled with my job and got promoted twice as a drunk, but only because I’m good at what I do and I don’t have to deal with people. As a computer programmer, I work in the shadows and the bosses are happy. But, if I was to give a presentation, I’m sure I’d get the sweats and shakes. When the spotlight is on me, I could possibly have an anxiety attack.

United State Marine Corps here….very dedicated to my friends and family, but I chose to drink. They accept that and so do I. Again, just my dog and I, no kids or wife.

Overall, I think that drinking is good to a minimal amount. I really does calm my nerves in the evening. My question to you all who have quit, how did your body and mind react? With me, one night without some alcohol will give the night sweats and I’ll wake with the shakes.

[Dee74]

Yeah it can be rough for a while for some of us when detoxing, but help and support is always available...

but Dawg, doesn't the fact we have such significant withdrawal in mind and body show the damage we're doing to ourselves that we drink to that extent?

D

[Redmayne]

Very often, counsellors and health professionals suggest that for an alcoholic to immediately stop drinking, although that is the ultimatoe goal in recovery is very dangerous, at its worst, physically it can bring on 'alcoholic fits', let alone those general feelings of feeling unwell mentally, often signalled by depression and physically, generally feeling sick and ill,...

It's important then to remember , alcohol - ISM, alcohol is but a symptom,it's the -ISM's, i.e.'life' that remain,long after you've stopped drinking that have to be dealt with on a daily basis, is a threefold illness...

It bankrupts you physically, so perhaps the assistance of health care professionals may be required in recovery..

Mentally, same solution...

...and spiritually, the snaswer to that can at least be found initially in the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous' and the suggested 12 Step programme of recovery, which for me includes particular attention to the personal story, 'The Keys to the Kingdom', which rightly makes the point that the aa way oflife is not something that can be over and done with but a complete way of living that never stops.

Equallyso 'spirituality'which will lift you above thephysical and mental aspects of alcoholism,cannot be taught, it has to come from within by seeking and making conscious contact with the god of your understanding...

and just remember the line found in the 'Big Book',... 'those who THOROUGHLY follow our path', there was never a truer word written, ever...

[Dee74]

Very often, counsellors and health professionals suggest that for an alcoholic to immediately stop drinking, although that is the ultimatoe goal in recovery is very dangerous, at its worst, physically it can bring on 'alcoholic fits', let alone those general feelings of feeling unwell mentally, often signalled by depression and physically, generally feeling sick and ill,...

If you look at our rules and policies this site has always recommended people seek medical advice and supervision when seeking to stop drinking

D