What is a 'Dry Drunk'?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Supercrew...
Yea, we are fortunate to be able to discuss these issues in a forum like this... I do not see your posts as argumentative at all. We do have different perspectives and it's a good thing. You and I are on the same journey, perhaps we follow a different path, but the end result is, hopefully, the same.... sobriety.
But there is a difference, is there not, between quitting and surrender in terms of one's posture... It came to me this AM in the shower (yes I think about SR way too much, LOL)...
Surrender conjures a posture of defeat. And that is what it is, hmm... In my experience it is not so much a sense defeat as it is one of humility, and.... well... acceptance. When I think I have "won"... I think to myself.. "see there, I quit drinking and that wasn't so bad" ... then it crosses my mind... "hey, I am not a real alcoholic, I can control my drinking after all!!"... and those thoughts scare me. So I try to stay humble, I surrendered, yeah, I quit, but what I quit was.... fighting... Then those scary thoughts aren't quite so quick to enter my mind.
Mark
Yea, we are fortunate to be able to discuss these issues in a forum like this... I do not see your posts as argumentative at all. We do have different perspectives and it's a good thing. You and I are on the same journey, perhaps we follow a different path, but the end result is, hopefully, the same.... sobriety.
But there is a difference, is there not, between quitting and surrender in terms of one's posture... It came to me this AM in the shower (yes I think about SR way too much, LOL)...
Surrender conjures a posture of defeat. And that is what it is, hmm... In my experience it is not so much a sense defeat as it is one of humility, and.... well... acceptance. When I think I have "won"... I think to myself.. "see there, I quit drinking and that wasn't so bad" ... then it crosses my mind... "hey, I am not a real alcoholic, I can control my drinking after all!!"... and those thoughts scare me. So I try to stay humble, I surrendered, yeah, I quit, but what I quit was.... fighting... Then those scary thoughts aren't quite so quick to enter my mind.
Mark
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
I don't know if I am soaking in the distinctions (or likenesses) between surrender and quitting. The posture consideration is important, and I wouldn't want anyone to take from what I have said to mean someone needs to take an arrogant posture when they are in the throes of moving past drinking. I don't condone the Charlie Sheen thing that goes, "Screw all that AA, all lies," etc. That is being arrogant; though I am not him, he's got his own journey. My position is similar to what Dee and Ann have said here or elsewhere, that there's something worthwhile in more than one approach. If I point out things that I don't want to embrace, it doesn't mean I haven't also been influenced by other ideas voiced out of those things. I would say AA has impacted me, for example, because it reaches me here, and I can't keep track of where I first digested and applied a workable idea (*resentment* and studying it is a good example).
When it comes to (a) Did I Surrender and (b) Did I Quit and Therefore Defeat, I guess I make the distinction between the alcohol and the behaviour first. I refer to alcohol as "crap" but it's an inanimate thing, like gasoline, bleach, rocks on the ground and firearms. I don't blame the thing. The behaviour and use of it (abuse, self-modification, self-injury) is the thing we know we have to confront and then move on. And then of course there are the attendant "-isms" that we want to look at ("What line of thinking feeds/fed the alcoholism in the first place, if I can find anything?") I suppose the most prudent thing to say is that I have won the battle, but maybe I haven't won the war yet. I quit drinking and won that; but in order to do that I'd come to a point where I accepted that my relationship with alcohol is most likely permanent; and it's been a winning that is in progress, that breathes several breaths over time, not one breath. Maybe the winning of the war is measured by living the rest of my life without drinking, and therefore I won't know it without an after-this-life.
I might refer to it as a surrender though, because that is the lingo. I've said "there's a winning in the surrender" before - before "winning" became such a loaded and entertaining term as of the past month or two. It doesn't hurt in the attitude department either, so that we don't become complacent and let that turn into "I can do so much, I might as well prove it by drinking again." That's of course malarkey; and signs of further sickness.
When it comes to (a) Did I Surrender and (b) Did I Quit and Therefore Defeat, I guess I make the distinction between the alcohol and the behaviour first. I refer to alcohol as "crap" but it's an inanimate thing, like gasoline, bleach, rocks on the ground and firearms. I don't blame the thing. The behaviour and use of it (abuse, self-modification, self-injury) is the thing we know we have to confront and then move on. And then of course there are the attendant "-isms" that we want to look at ("What line of thinking feeds/fed the alcoholism in the first place, if I can find anything?") I suppose the most prudent thing to say is that I have won the battle, but maybe I haven't won the war yet. I quit drinking and won that; but in order to do that I'd come to a point where I accepted that my relationship with alcohol is most likely permanent; and it's been a winning that is in progress, that breathes several breaths over time, not one breath. Maybe the winning of the war is measured by living the rest of my life without drinking, and therefore I won't know it without an after-this-life.
I might refer to it as a surrender though, because that is the lingo. I've said "there's a winning in the surrender" before - before "winning" became such a loaded and entertaining term as of the past month or two. It doesn't hurt in the attitude department either, so that we don't become complacent and let that turn into "I can do so much, I might as well prove it by drinking again." That's of course malarkey; and signs of further sickness.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Ahh.. but, to me, alcohol was not just some neutral inanimate thing... I had given it so much power... in my life...
We AAs like to say that alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful... and I have, at times, chuckled at that... alcohol is a liquid and has certain properties, but to say that it is cunning, for example, is to impart some animate quality to what is clearly inanimate... It is my own reaction to it that is cunning, baffling and powerful....
And then, I start to think, maybe I can change how I react to alcohol...
LOL, cunning...
We AAs like to say that alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful... and I have, at times, chuckled at that... alcohol is a liquid and has certain properties, but to say that it is cunning, for example, is to impart some animate quality to what is clearly inanimate... It is my own reaction to it that is cunning, baffling and powerful....
And then, I start to think, maybe I can change how I react to alcohol...
LOL, cunning...
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: London
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Mark75 
Is quitting (drinking) the same thing as surrendering? If not, what are the differences?
Waving the white flag makes it easier in the long run, day at a time!
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Originally Posted by JohnBarleycorn
I believe the term was once used to describe a real phenomenon, before it was completely bastardized.
In "Staying Sober," Terence T. Gorski writes:
In "Staying Sober," Terence T. Gorski writes:
"A very serious PAW ("Post Acute Withdrawal") problem though perhaps not as common as the others is difficulty with physical coordination. Common symptoms are dizziness, trouble with balance, problems with coordination between hand and eye, and slow reflexes. These result in clumsiness and accident proneness. This is how the term dry drunk came into being. When alcoholics appeared drunk because of stumbling and clumsiness, but had not been drinking, they were said to be dry drunk. They had the appearance of being intoxicated without drinking."
Setting aside for the present discussion whether we believe everything Terence Gorski says regarding PAW, this would seem to make sense.Of course I'm no expert, but this is how I always thought of it, and what makes most sense to me.
I suspect that all of the other conditions people associate with the term can probably be diagnosed using other existing terminology, such as depression or anxiety.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
I like to think I am winning the battle, and alcohol will never play a part in my life again. "Surrender's" negative connotation bring with it the thoughts of losing. I am not losing anything, I am gaining my life back.
The key of understanding surrender in this case in the 3rd paragraph, "We percieve....."
And further more, I have learnt it is none of my buisness to tell another human who comes to find out about their drinking issues if they are a alcoholic or not. Not even a doctor, unless the doctor is alcoholic by his or her own admission is favourable to tell another they are alcoholic. They may quote the symptoms, sure, but the admission ultimately has to come from the alcoholic themselves, if they are the real alcoholic, that very moment of truth, where the next drink, or spree is ultimately entering the doors of hell and not able to return. Only then, from my own expirience, it was, "oh ohh", who is THAT in the mirror?""
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
I never asked if anyone agree with it or not, what we have here is a principle.
A common sense principle.
1+1 = 2, in principle. One may not agree to 1 + 1 = 2 as to one who does agree 1+1 = 2.
One is right and the other may not be so right.
The point is, clarity along the path of recovery.
It cannot be said, that 1+1 might equal 2, or maybe equal 2.
A drunk certainly would say so maybe
A dry drunk might be tempted to argue the point of 1 + 1 = 2,
I'd give half measures is he asks for evidence, like a 2 finger salute.
But one who is seeking answers to his or her dilema at the point of desperation, I think he or she would certainly be interested in clarifying what surrender is, in our case, the real alcoholic who has a desire to stop drinking, it was suggested, Surrender to Win, so
1 day and the next = 2 days sober and so on, surrendering daily if the case may be, in principle.
A common sense principle.
1+1 = 2, in principle. One may not agree to 1 + 1 = 2 as to one who does agree 1+1 = 2.
One is right and the other may not be so right.
The point is, clarity along the path of recovery.
It cannot be said, that 1+1 might equal 2, or maybe equal 2.
A drunk certainly would say so maybe
A dry drunk might be tempted to argue the point of 1 + 1 = 2,
I'd give half measures is he asks for evidence, like a 2 finger salute.
But one who is seeking answers to his or her dilema at the point of desperation, I think he or she would certainly be interested in clarifying what surrender is, in our case, the real alcoholic who has a desire to stop drinking, it was suggested, Surrender to Win, so
1 day and the next = 2 days sober and so on, surrendering daily if the case may be, in principle.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
I will agree that 1 + 1 = 2. If you feel that quitting means surrendering then fine. My program and my life is based on personal empowerment. When I quit, I won. Surrendering isn't synonymous with winning.
If alcohol was something I wanted now then I would agree with you, I would have to surrender and give up wanting alcohol. By changing my perspective and my mindset, I gave up nothing, I just quit drinking the poison that was killing me....so I won the battle.
2 different ways of thinking to get to the same destination, sobriety.
You do it by beating yourself up, and focusing on all the wrongs you did in your past and admitting to personal flaws and maladies and weakness and turning it over to your Higher Power.
I do it by empowering myself with knowledge to understand my problem then taking daily action to solve my problem and empower and better myself so it doesn't occur again.
Two different solutions to the same problem. I chose mine because it is more logical to me kind of like 1 +1 =2.
If alcohol was something I wanted now then I would agree with you, I would have to surrender and give up wanting alcohol. By changing my perspective and my mindset, I gave up nothing, I just quit drinking the poison that was killing me....so I won the battle.
2 different ways of thinking to get to the same destination, sobriety.
You do it by beating yourself up, and focusing on all the wrongs you did in your past and admitting to personal flaws and maladies and weakness and turning it over to your Higher Power.
I do it by empowering myself with knowledge to understand my problem then taking daily action to solve my problem and empower and better myself so it doesn't occur again.
Two different solutions to the same problem. I chose mine because it is more logical to me kind of like 1 +1 =2.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,365
There's so many backhanders in this thread, I'm starting to think I'm at Wimbledon.
I think this thread will be the better if we all try to stick to we believe, not what we think someone else believes, guys.
thanks.
D
I think this thread will be the better if we all try to stick to we believe, not what we think someone else believes, guys.
thanks.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
If you feel that quitting means surrendering then fine
Surrender, is total, done, it's over, go home, learning and progressing now to live sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 228
I'm certainly not opposed to any train of thought that gets us to the same solution, so I essentially support anyone who does what he or she has to do no matter what terminology is used. I honestly don't believe it's really all that important. Although, I definitely tend to believe that I'm following sort of a parallel approach to Supercrew's mindset as well as a few others on SR.
The primary reason I decided to quit drinking is because one morning I woke up after a night of binge drinking and found myself in a state of withdrawal. Not only was I having a severe panic attack (never had one before after 22 years of regular drinking), but my heart was racing, my blood pressure was through the roof, I had chest pains, lightheadedness, and I could barely breathe. I literally thought I have having a heart attack or a stroke and, needless to say, it scared the living crap out of me. I had no plan to quit until that very morning, but it was at that moment I made the decision to quit for good, no matter what it took to do it. I just knew it was time. If I had to come up with a rational list of reasons as to why I need to remain sober, here's what it might look like:
1.) At 57 years of age, I'd ideally like to think that I may have 20 or more years yet to live. The alternative isn't an option, and drinking can kill you prematurely.
2.) I'd ideally like to keep my marriage of 36 years in tact. My wife has been my major support system, and I just don't care to ever let her down ever again.
3.) I'd ideally like to see my grandchildren grow up.
4.) I'd ideally like to have a clear frame of mind - one that enables for me to do my job well as well as having a clear notion of all things around me at all times.
5.) I'd ideally like to have my health be the best it can be for the remainder of my life.
6.) I'd ideally like to be able to say to myself as well as others that I'm truly living a life of solitude and happiness, even though I'm quite aware that life isn't always easy.
7.) I'd ideally like to NEVER feel the pain and agony of detoxification ever again.
This list can literally go on forever, but I honestly can't think of one single reason for me to pick up a drink. Surrender? Yeah, in my mind I can certainly understand the notion that if one is truly empowered by alcohol, one may indeed feel powerless while further feeling the need to surrender to its powers - perhaps giving up the fight, so to speak. But seriously, when one makes the decision to quit drinking, isn't this the time when the real fight begins? Isn't this the time to set aside our past issues while beginning to fully understand our goals and aspirations? Isn't this the time in our lives where we need to realistically understand that alcohol is merely nothing more than a liquid poison that literally rots our systems from the inside out?
I'll be the first to admit that when I first quit drinking, I was very confused and had no clue as to how I was going to approach the notion of being sober for the remainder of my life. Although, I've left all options open and still do if it ever becomes necessary. It has been a grueling six weeks, to say the least, but at this point I'm feeling very strongly about my convictions. By quitting drinking, I've really just discovered that I'm very fortunate to have so many wonderful things to live for, and drinking can't possibly be part of the equation if I sincerely want to live for my ideals. At the moment, this is all I really need to develop a mindset for me to stay sober. I just don't believe that I have a choice in the matter any longer.
EDIT: Sorry for the long post. I've been writing this intermittently while other posts have been added and wasn't trying to reply to any particular post.
The primary reason I decided to quit drinking is because one morning I woke up after a night of binge drinking and found myself in a state of withdrawal. Not only was I having a severe panic attack (never had one before after 22 years of regular drinking), but my heart was racing, my blood pressure was through the roof, I had chest pains, lightheadedness, and I could barely breathe. I literally thought I have having a heart attack or a stroke and, needless to say, it scared the living crap out of me. I had no plan to quit until that very morning, but it was at that moment I made the decision to quit for good, no matter what it took to do it. I just knew it was time. If I had to come up with a rational list of reasons as to why I need to remain sober, here's what it might look like:
1.) At 57 years of age, I'd ideally like to think that I may have 20 or more years yet to live. The alternative isn't an option, and drinking can kill you prematurely.
2.) I'd ideally like to keep my marriage of 36 years in tact. My wife has been my major support system, and I just don't care to ever let her down ever again.
3.) I'd ideally like to see my grandchildren grow up.
4.) I'd ideally like to have a clear frame of mind - one that enables for me to do my job well as well as having a clear notion of all things around me at all times.
5.) I'd ideally like to have my health be the best it can be for the remainder of my life.
6.) I'd ideally like to be able to say to myself as well as others that I'm truly living a life of solitude and happiness, even though I'm quite aware that life isn't always easy.
7.) I'd ideally like to NEVER feel the pain and agony of detoxification ever again.
This list can literally go on forever, but I honestly can't think of one single reason for me to pick up a drink. Surrender? Yeah, in my mind I can certainly understand the notion that if one is truly empowered by alcohol, one may indeed feel powerless while further feeling the need to surrender to its powers - perhaps giving up the fight, so to speak. But seriously, when one makes the decision to quit drinking, isn't this the time when the real fight begins? Isn't this the time to set aside our past issues while beginning to fully understand our goals and aspirations? Isn't this the time in our lives where we need to realistically understand that alcohol is merely nothing more than a liquid poison that literally rots our systems from the inside out?
I'll be the first to admit that when I first quit drinking, I was very confused and had no clue as to how I was going to approach the notion of being sober for the remainder of my life. Although, I've left all options open and still do if it ever becomes necessary. It has been a grueling six weeks, to say the least, but at this point I'm feeling very strongly about my convictions. By quitting drinking, I've really just discovered that I'm very fortunate to have so many wonderful things to live for, and drinking can't possibly be part of the equation if I sincerely want to live for my ideals. At the moment, this is all I really need to develop a mindset for me to stay sober. I just don't believe that I have a choice in the matter any longer.
EDIT: Sorry for the long post. I've been writing this intermittently while other posts have been added and wasn't trying to reply to any particular post.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
I have not used the term "dry drunk" since I left AA and one of my (former) AA comrades accosted me in the grocery store and accused me of being one. Right there in the produce section! To her, my actual state of mind and health was unimportant: the only thing that mattered was that I had left the program, and to her, that equated with drinking. Since I was physically sober, that had to mean I was a "dry drunk".
The term COULD be useful if it was uniformly used to describe a person who is not drinking, but is still exhibiting some of the behaviors of someone who is actively addicted to alcohol. However, as long as it continues to be used as a pejorative term, applied by AA members to outsiders, it is of dubious utility.
OTT
The term COULD be useful if it was uniformly used to describe a person who is not drinking, but is still exhibiting some of the behaviors of someone who is actively addicted to alcohol. However, as long as it continues to be used as a pejorative term, applied by AA members to outsiders, it is of dubious utility.
OTT
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 252
I found this definition of "Dry Drunk" interesting - it comes from The Little Big Book Dictionary and Concordance for Included Words:
"dry drunk is not found in the "Big Book" of 'Alcoholics Anonymous'
Perhaps drawn from lines in the 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book
"...These emotional dry benders... (Pg. 90) - which refers to an 'emotional state of being' triggered by resentments, anger, and other forms of "stormy emotions" and not a state of being related to drinking alcoholic beverages. This infers that one is 'emotionally drunk' while not drinking - most often as a 'judgement' of another, suggesting one is not working "The Program" and that such negative emotional states are the result. (We suggest "The Program" isn't designed to be a tool for eliminating feelings and emotions, but if practiced, will work to provide a more effective and appropriate way of processing and dealing with emotions.) The 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book addresses 'emotions' at length."
"dry drunk is not found in the "Big Book" of 'Alcoholics Anonymous'
Perhaps drawn from lines in the 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book
"...These emotional dry benders... (Pg. 90) - which refers to an 'emotional state of being' triggered by resentments, anger, and other forms of "stormy emotions" and not a state of being related to drinking alcoholic beverages. This infers that one is 'emotionally drunk' while not drinking - most often as a 'judgement' of another, suggesting one is not working "The Program" and that such negative emotional states are the result. (We suggest "The Program" isn't designed to be a tool for eliminating feelings and emotions, but if practiced, will work to provide a more effective and appropriate way of processing and dealing with emotions.) The 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book addresses 'emotions' at length."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by RV GTO
I found this definition of "Dry Drunk" interesting - it comes from The Little Big Book Dictionary and Concordance for Included Words:
"dry drunk is not found in the "Big Book" of 'Alcoholics Anonymous'
Perhaps drawn from lines in the 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book
"...These emotional dry benders... (Pg. 90) - which refers to an 'emotional state of being' triggered by resentments, anger, and other forms of "stormy emotions" and not a state of being related to drinking alcoholic beverages. This infers that one is 'emotionally drunk' while not drinking - most often as a 'judgement' of another, suggesting one is not working "The Program" and that such negative emotional states are the result. (We suggest "The Program" isn't designed to be a tool for eliminating feelings and emotions, but if practiced, will work to provide a more effective and appropriate way of processing and dealing with emotions.) The 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book addresses 'emotions' at length."
"dry drunk is not found in the "Big Book" of 'Alcoholics Anonymous'
Perhaps drawn from lines in the 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book
"...These emotional dry benders... (Pg. 90) - which refers to an 'emotional state of being' triggered by resentments, anger, and other forms of "stormy emotions" and not a state of being related to drinking alcoholic beverages. This infers that one is 'emotionally drunk' while not drinking - most often as a 'judgement' of another, suggesting one is not working "The Program" and that such negative emotional states are the result. (We suggest "The Program" isn't designed to be a tool for eliminating feelings and emotions, but if practiced, will work to provide a more effective and appropriate way of processing and dealing with emotions.) The 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions' book addresses 'emotions' at length."
Bottom line? I'm much happier to have made the choice to quit drinking and live as opposed to being six feet under. If that makes me a "dry drunk," I'm quite all right with that. I take no offense.....LOL.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Originally Posted by JTele
I'm certainly not opposed to any train of thought that gets us to the same solution, so I essentially support anyone who does what he or she has to do no matter what terminology is used. I honestly don't believe it's really all that important. Although, I definitely tend to believe that I'm following sort of a parallel approach to Supercrew's mindset as well as a few others on SR.
The primary reason I decided to quit drinking is because one morning I woke up after a night of binge drinking and found myself in a state of withdrawal. Not only was I having a severe panic attack (never had one before after 22 years of regular drinking), but my heart was racing, my blood pressure was through the roof, I had chest pains, lightheadedness, and I could barely breathe. I literally thought I have having a heart attack or a stroke and, needless to say, it scared the living crap out of me. I had no plan to quit until that very morning, but it was at that moment I made the decision to quit for good, no matter what it took to do it. I just knew it was time. If I had to come up with a rational list of reasons as to why I need to remain sober, here's what it might look like:
1.) At 57 years of age, I'd ideally like to think that I may have 20 or more years yet to live. The alternative isn't an option, and drinking can kill you prematurely.
2.) I'd ideally like to keep my marriage of 36 years in tact. My wife has been my major support system, and I just don't care to ever let her down ever again.
3.) I'd ideally like to see my grandchildren grow up.
4.) I'd ideally like to have a clear frame of mind - one that enables for me to do my job well as well as having a clear notion of all things around me at all times.
5.) I'd ideally like to have my health be the best it can be for the remainder of my life.
6.) I'd ideally like to be able to say to myself as well as others that I'm truly living a life of solitude and happiness, even though I'm quite aware that life isn't always easy.
7.) I'd ideally like to NEVER feel the pain and agony of detoxification ever again.
This list can literally go on forever, but I honestly can't think of one single reason for me to pick up a drink. Surrender? Yeah, in my mind I can certainly understand the notion that if one is truly empowered by alcohol, one may indeed feel powerless while further feeling the need to surrender to its powers - perhaps giving up the fight, so to speak. But seriously, when one makes the decision to quit drinking, isn't this the time when the real fight begins? Isn't this the time to set aside our past issues while beginning to fully understand our goals and aspirations? Isn't this the time in our lives where we need to realistically understand that alcohol is merely nothing more than a liquid poison that literally rots our systems from the inside out?
I'll be the first to admit that when I first quit drinking, I was very confused and had no clue as to how I was going to approach the notion of being sober for the remainder of my life. Although, I've left all options open and still do if it ever becomes necessary. It has been a grueling six weeks, to say the least, but at this point I'm feeling very strongly about my convictions. By quitting drinking, I've really just discovered that I'm very fortunate to have so many wonderful things to live for, and drinking can't possibly be part of the equation if I sincerely want to live for my ideals. At the moment, this is all I really need to develop a mindset for me to stay sober. I just don't believe that I have a choice in the matter any longer.
EDIT: Sorry for the long post. I've been writing this intermittently while other posts have been added and wasn't trying to reply to any particular post.
The primary reason I decided to quit drinking is because one morning I woke up after a night of binge drinking and found myself in a state of withdrawal. Not only was I having a severe panic attack (never had one before after 22 years of regular drinking), but my heart was racing, my blood pressure was through the roof, I had chest pains, lightheadedness, and I could barely breathe. I literally thought I have having a heart attack or a stroke and, needless to say, it scared the living crap out of me. I had no plan to quit until that very morning, but it was at that moment I made the decision to quit for good, no matter what it took to do it. I just knew it was time. If I had to come up with a rational list of reasons as to why I need to remain sober, here's what it might look like:
1.) At 57 years of age, I'd ideally like to think that I may have 20 or more years yet to live. The alternative isn't an option, and drinking can kill you prematurely.
2.) I'd ideally like to keep my marriage of 36 years in tact. My wife has been my major support system, and I just don't care to ever let her down ever again.
3.) I'd ideally like to see my grandchildren grow up.
4.) I'd ideally like to have a clear frame of mind - one that enables for me to do my job well as well as having a clear notion of all things around me at all times.
5.) I'd ideally like to have my health be the best it can be for the remainder of my life.
6.) I'd ideally like to be able to say to myself as well as others that I'm truly living a life of solitude and happiness, even though I'm quite aware that life isn't always easy.
7.) I'd ideally like to NEVER feel the pain and agony of detoxification ever again.
This list can literally go on forever, but I honestly can't think of one single reason for me to pick up a drink. Surrender? Yeah, in my mind I can certainly understand the notion that if one is truly empowered by alcohol, one may indeed feel powerless while further feeling the need to surrender to its powers - perhaps giving up the fight, so to speak. But seriously, when one makes the decision to quit drinking, isn't this the time when the real fight begins? Isn't this the time to set aside our past issues while beginning to fully understand our goals and aspirations? Isn't this the time in our lives where we need to realistically understand that alcohol is merely nothing more than a liquid poison that literally rots our systems from the inside out?
I'll be the first to admit that when I first quit drinking, I was very confused and had no clue as to how I was going to approach the notion of being sober for the remainder of my life. Although, I've left all options open and still do if it ever becomes necessary. It has been a grueling six weeks, to say the least, but at this point I'm feeling very strongly about my convictions. By quitting drinking, I've really just discovered that I'm very fortunate to have so many wonderful things to live for, and drinking can't possibly be part of the equation if I sincerely want to live for my ideals. At the moment, this is all I really need to develop a mindset for me to stay sober. I just don't believe that I have a choice in the matter any longer.
EDIT: Sorry for the long post. I've been writing this intermittently while other posts have been added and wasn't trying to reply to any particular post.
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