What am I doing?

[tinkertrain]

This is the jist of what I was trying to say earlier and lost it.

I found this site through my meth use. I was raised around drugs, but never really had interest in doing them. Then at age 38, I found a way to use meth that stuck. I am 42 years old now, I have not used meth in two years with only one relapse last year that confirmed that I did not have any use for meth. Am I an addict?

I have drank since I was 14 years old. Mostly binged party drank on the weekends. I got my first DUII when I was 27 years old. That really didn't change the way I used alcohol. Three 1/2 years ago, I find the job of my dreams, move out of the house I couldn't afford into a cute 2 bedroom, finances are getting back on track, I am working really hard to finally bring stability into my life and succeeding. Last April, I get my second DUII. Of course the courts view it as a first because of the time difference, but the diversion program has changed, its become stricter. Now I'm paying attention. I can feel myself really listening and understanding that I've already started the sobriety process. I don't binge drink on the weekends, but I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner here and there, or have a cocktail because one sounds good. Am I an alcoholic?

In the last 12 years I have been in a relationship with a severe addict. He has pretty much burned every bridge I have offered him. I want help understanding what makes this ok for me. I want to bring this up when I'm at the AA meetings or the alcohol classes, but can't bring myself to do it because of the diversion program. I want to complete the program without a hitch and I'm afraid I might say something that won't let that happen.

What kind of recovery am I looking for?

[joedris]

Tinker, I'm sorry, but I've read your thread 10 times and I don't have a clue as to what you're trying to say. Let's see if I can come close here. You messed with meth but quit that stuff with the exception of one relapse last year. You didn't mention any other drug abuse. Are you an drug addict? Probably not so long as you remain clean.

You have a history of alcohol problems with 2 DUIs. You also mention binge drinking in the past. You enjoy a cocktail or a glass of wine on occasion. Are you an alcoholic? Hard to say, that's a call you have to make yourself. What I don't understand is why asking questions in your AA meetings or alcohol classes would put you in jeopardy. One of the major objectives of attending meetings/classes is for you to determine if you are indeed an alcoholic. But with your history I'd suggest that you should consider not drinking anymore as alcohol is causing you some problems in your life.

Then you say you're in a 12 year relationship with a severe addict and want to find out what makes this ok for you. Huh? Why are you in a 12 year relationship with a severe addict who doesn't want help? Off the top, I'd say no, it isn't ok to be with this guy because he's a major threat to your recovery. He's burning bridges and you're he's still in your life. Why?

And please, it's not a sobriety process, it's a recovery process. Physical sobriety is merely abstaining from alcohol. Recovery also involves emotional sobriety and that's what keeps us from drinking/using. You learn emotional sobriety from working the 12 steps of AA. As I said, I'm not sure of the question, but I hope I've been of some help in my answer.

[sailorjohn]

Originally Posted by tinkertrain

What kind of recovery am I looking for?

Maybe the kind that Santa leaves under the tree at Christmas....

[Dee74]

As the original post in this thread is a duplicate of one already in Newcomers, it's best we rationalise.

Thanks
D