labels

[daisy2]

Do I have to label myself an alcoholic in order to recover? I mean, I am, but when I think of how I quit smoking- I just call myself an exsmoker or a nonsmoker now- not a smokeaholic. One of the things that I was really proud of myself with somking (which I was extremely addicted to) is that I recognized it was an addiction that was ruining my life and I quit and put it in the past! Why is it that with alcoholism a lot of recovery dogma wants us to cling to the label of alcoholic and constantly revisit all the negative crap and the idea that it's a disease? Can't I just be an ex-drinker?

[Sikkisirus]

I don't think you need sticking to those labels. If you're happy calling yourself ex-drinker then thats fine.

[sailorjohn]

IMO you can call yourself whatever you like.

But I also believe that if you can't fully accept the fact of your alcoholism you're doomed to go back out or at best lead a pretty miserable existence while 'sober'.

I 'label' myself as an alcoholic because I find it useful for my recovery.

While nicotine addiction may be difficult to overcome, it is simply not in the same category as substance addiction.

I don't know any recovering alcoholics personally that 'constantly revisit all the negative crap' as you put it, but I have known some-myself included-that decided to forget the past and ended up going out for another try.

[daisy2]

thanks for the responses! I guess in a way this is kind of a philosohpical question. I figure that I will hear a lot of varying opinions.

[ElegantlyWasted]

By reliving the neg crap we learn that we have the ability to put it in a better context and move on. The idea is that you deal with it on a constructive emotional and intellectual level. Societal stigmatism of "alcoholics" is real and something that needs to be delt with by the individual. You don't have to label yourself. Do whatever you feel comfortable. Aa comes across as a little dogmatic to a lot of people. Remember... The only requirement is a desire to quit drinking. You can make aa and other programs work for you in a way that makes sense to you. Further, successful people who Are comfortable with the label don't give a crap about the stigmatism, because they Are in a place mentally where others judgements just don't matter to them. Best of luck; you're doing great. Humbly on day 54 this time.

[sailorjohn]

I like the idea of labels, it helps me to understand what I'm dealing with. Is that a bottle of aspirin or vitamins? Labeling myself helps me to understand what I'm dealing to the best of my ability, with the knowledge that I will never fully understand even my own alcoholism.

The only suggestions I have about the opinions you digest, you might consider the source first. Is the opinion coming from someone that has 3 weeks of sobriety? Or 20 years?

Not implying that sobriety has any kind of seniority-all of us are one bad decision away from losing everything-but that folks with a lot of time can share with you what works. And what doesn't work.

Not sure if I ever threw it out.

Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

[yeahgr8]

Sure thing you can be an ex-drinker, set yourself a date, set in place some lifestyle changes and do something different when you would normally be out drinking like giving up smoking...couple of years down the line if you find you can't stick to it, and each time you go out there you drink more and get in even more embarassing situations, then probably best that you accept you are an alcoholic and get help with all the negative crap...good luck:-)

[Zencat]

I'm in addiction treatment but what I call myself has nothing to do with my treatment program. I know I had an addiction to harmful substances and as long as I keep treating my addiction I don't have to go back to active using. I guess I could call myself 'once addicted' if I like.

[deerwalk]

Most can't or won't accept the inherent ambiguity of life and living- in other words not knowing. People desire labels because they flounder without constructs, and labels are an enormous part of the human construct. People need a blueprint- to put a name on things, so they can correlate the name with a definition and thus a percieved understanding. Unfortunately, humanity as we know it is not so simply defined- most simply cannot or will not accept that fact. When one states thet they are an "alcoholic"- they are giving someone an idea of what they are encountering and they can apply what they have experienced, what they may surmise and what they may assume to the "alcoholic" individual. They then belive thay underrstand and can behave appropriately towards the individual. If the term "alcoholic" were to be replaced with another, less familiar term- the other party would be at a loss as to how to perceive you- and most people are uncomfortable with that. That's not to say that someone is or isn't an alcoholic- it's to say that some people are, and others fall into more grey areas- which people can't or won't accept. The questions are- how do you want to percieve yourself, and how do you want others to percieve you?

[deerwalk]

Please pardon my typos- I was "timed out" before I had a chance to correct them. My typing skills are lacking, however my understanding is not. Good luck with AA- as with many things in life, I have found the organization requires alot of "meeting halfway"- you simply need to understand what they want in order to get what you want, which I am assuming in your case is to stop drinking. There are alternative organizations as well, in case you decide that AA is not an experience conducive to your recovery.

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by daisy2

Do I have to label myself an alcoholic in order to recover?

I now admit I have alcohol-ism because I MUST realize that the problem is more than just alcohol-issues.

When I gave up nicotine, I simply choose not to smoke "one day at a
time" and it became easier for me each day. When I tried to give up
alcohol by choosing not to drink "one day at a time", it became harder
for me each day. My problem was not just alcohol. For me "not
drinking" did not treat my alcoholism. I was uncomfortable in my own
skin before I took my first drink as a teenager and I returned to
being uncomfortable in my own skin after I took my last drink.

Alcohol was my solution for 30+ years and did not become my problem
until my final years of drinking when it failed to give me comfort
before it made me blackout. Alcoholism is the root of my problem with or without alcohol in my body.

[Wolfchild]

Have you considered that "what" you are may not be as important as who you are?

Personaly, i find that applying 'labels' to myself serves only to convey my thoughts or actions in a single direction. i feel that "stereotypes" limit a person's personal freedom to be whoever they chose to be. Labels have not, are not, nor ever will define my character as an individual!

[hope3]

[COLOR="Purple"]I'm an alcoholic interested in growing along spiritual lines.... [/COLOR]

hope and love

hope3

[joedris]

By calling myself an alcoholic, I recognize and accept the fact that I suffer from the disease of alcoholism. If I suffered from diabetes, I would call myself a diabetic. The issue here is not what you call yourself, it's whether or not you accept the fact that you suffer from alcoholism. As sailorjohn said, acceptance is essential to recovery. And it doesn't matter whether you join AA or use some other recovery program. If you don't accept the fact that you're an alcoholic, then you're not going to recover. You can call yourself whatever you like. If I'm at a social function and I'm offered a drink, I don't say "No thanks, I'm an alcoholic." I say "Thanks, but I don't drink." So in that respect I guess you could say that I'm calling myself an ex-drinker.

[firestorm090]

Whomever made the comment, " If the shoe fits, wear it" knew what they were talking about.