Turning Points In Recovery

[Wolfchild]

What has been a turning point for you in your recovery process?

[gravity]

A moment of clarity - accepting that I am an alcoholic & I need help.

For a few years, I had tried quitting drinking on my own (willpower). I never made it past 80 days, the obsession to drink always came back.

My drinking got to the point where there was just no way to rationalize it anymore - binges were getting longer, mental & emotional deterioration. Also, I had failed miserably at moderation. My last bender - planning on going out for a couple of drinks, ended up drunk/out of control/blacked out for 60 hours. Just no way to call myself a "heavy drinker" anymore.

I also knew I could not quit on my own (from experience). AA, SR, family & friends all play a huge part in my sobriety - 17 months.

[jamdls]

I think my biggest turning point was 5 months into sobriety when my mother passed away. My family all gathered together in the days before she died, I had not seen them in about 10 years; they all knew I had stopped drinking but I know they had their doubts about me. I'm the youngest of 5 and I turned out to be the most level headed one during that week and it surprised the heck of my family. My mothers' death gave me an added incentive to stay sober as a way to honor her.

[TTOSBT]

Aaahh. One day when I was about 60 days sober I think, I was flippin out and obsessed with wanting a drink. I left work and got in my car to go home. But I was terrified to turn on the car because I knew I was going to drive to the liquor store. I remember sitting in my car, crying my heart out and praying out loud "God please help me. I can't do this". I cried forever it felt like (5 minutes maybe) when I started to feel a calmness slowly come over me and I stopped crying, my breathing slowed and I all of a sudden had this feeling of freedom. I did not want to drink anymore. I turned on my car and I drove home with a smile on my face. I have never felt alone since that day and the obsession had been lifted.

A moment of clarity? Divine intervention? Whatever you want to call it, that was the day I started my new life.

[jamdls]

Originally Posted by TTOSBT

Aaahh. One day when I was about 60 days sober I think, I was flippin out and obsessed with wanting a drink. I left work and got in my car to go home. But I was terrified to turn on the car because I knew I was going to drive to the liquor store. I remember sitting in my car, crying my heart out and praying out loud "God please help me. I can't do this". I cried forever it felt like (5 minutes maybe) when I started to feel a calmness slowly come over me and I stopped crying, my breathing slowed and I all of a sudden had this feeling of freedom. I did not want to drink anymore. I turned on my car and I drove home with a smile on my face. I have never felt alone since that day and the obsession had been lifted.

A moment of clarity? Divine intervention? Whatever you want to call it, that was the day I started my new life.

That is awesome TTOSBT put a big smile on my face.

[Missybuns]

When the moment of clarity came to me that revealed the two main issues at the core of my addiction I knew I had the acceptance needed to recover.

The miracle had happened.

I was able to reach this moment with the guidance of an addictions counselor who is also my friend and in recovery.

I sought guidance early on, as I had difficulty finding a sponsor who had what I wanted and felt comfortable sharing with. Meanwhile I got online to suppliment my recovery and to educate myself. It was online where I found an addictions counselor willing to help those who set out to help themselves!

At this turning point, with this acceptance, I embarked on my journey through the steps with a sponsor that counselor helped me to find.

Thank you, Leprechaun

Gratefully recovering,
Missy

[shaun00]

a few really.......kind of light bulb moments.

Realizing that i needed more than just being sober....

Realizing that my favourite first thought was.......me.and more me.

Realizing the depth of denial id been in........and the awful reality of the wreckage id caused.

the further i got from my last drink the clearer the picture became......it wasnt easy but neither was my style of drinking.

trucker

[24hrsAday]

my big turning point was almost drinking myself to death.. hitting that bottom and hitting it hard!

[keithj]

I've been giving this topic some thought because I think it's a thoughtful topic. I want to contribute to it, but I don't know how. It seems that I become aware of the significance of things only in hindsight. So much of my recovery has happened automatically, and the less thought I put into the significance of things at the present time, the better off I seem to be.

I remember the removal of the obsession to drink sneaking up on me. Realized one day that I hadn't thought of a drink, and couldn't remember the last time I had.

I remember hearing someone read page 25 in the BB at a meeting, and just knowing down to my core that it was exactly where I was at.

I remember working the steps for the first time, trying to get a grip on a belief in god from an atheist perspective. I wondered to myself if all this praying wasn't really just positive thinking in disguise. And I couldn't convince myself that it was. What a profound alteration in my perception of things.

I remember standing outside barefoot on a cold morning, and just knowing to step into the sunbeam shining on the sidewalk. Naturally, without thought or debate, like every single cold animal knows how to do.

Turning points? I don't know. But I don't want to forget these things.

[Leprechaun]

Your welcome Missy,anytime my friend.

[Gypsy Feet]

my last night drinking and the disturbing tale the next day.

discovering the codie thread and "the language of letting go" and realizing that most of the things I knew about myself or used to define myself were screwy, and that there was a better way

Having one of my best buds call me maybe 6 weeks into my sobriety for help out of the blue because he said he had lost himself in booze and wanted out, I was and am so grateful to be able to tell him "hey guess what man, I quit and it gets better" He is still sober. We talk a lot. I quit for me, but it means so much to me that I can share it with him.

[freya]

Turning points in my recovery:

The beginning: When I attended an Al Anon meeting because I had been told by Alternatives For Battered Women to take a friend and heard a bunch of women talking about exaclty what was going on in my home -- minus the drinking (my partner was deep into a dry drunk at the time.) That was a big AH HA!!!!

Four years ago: Saw this AA guy doing landscaping at my son's bank and stopped to talk to him. Somehow, we got into the Ninth Step Promises......somehow that lead to my realizing I needed an AA "edge" on my Al Anon program....which, somehow, for me, has been kinda like having a "warp drive" installed on my program

Three weeks ago: Very sudden, powerful "spiritual experience." Don't know exaclty where it's going to lead, but there is a definite shift (described in detail in the Spirituality Forum) and I know it's big.....a little disconcerting, but it seems I have passed the point of no-return.

In Between: Lots of shifts and changes -- all for the better -- but, unfortunately, I usually don't even seem to realize that they've happened until after the fact...So, typically, it's like the "turns" happen but I miss the exact "point" at which they occur. Sometimes I think it would be "cooler" if they were all big-bangs, but truth is, I probably wouldn't be able to handle that...and after all, I'm not the one calling the shots, right?

freya

[Believe808]

My turning point...When I realized I almost literally killed myself and would have left my kids without a mom, the same way I had grown up without my Mom.

[Rad44]

My Turning Points:
1) I am an Alcoholic (end of denial)
2) I want to do something about it (years later after #1)
3) I don't care what I have to do just get me out of here (years after #2)
4) I like myself sober better than drunk (years after #3)

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Wolfchild

What has been a turning point for you in your recovery process?

My recovery has been a series of awakenings and surrenders. Moving from one awakening to the next, from one surrender to the next. There are surrenders beyond surrenders and bottoms beyond bottoms.

Like many it began with that moment of clarity. My momemt happend at the tail end of a four-day bender in a flea-bag motel room. In a half-drunken fog I realized the simple truth: "You can't drink and you can't quit." I was graced with The Truth and gifted with desparation, because I also rea;ized that I had single-handedly ruined everything of value in my life and no place left to go.

Two months after that the next moment came, and I didn't realize it for a long time. The Power of God rendered me sober. Haven't had a drink since.

Six months after that I stood at the turning point and crossed from bridge to shore. Six months away from my last drink I was still suffering from alcoholism. I was page 52 embodied, and that is the condition that I cannot stand without a drink. But I didn't want to drink, so I thought a lot about blowing my head off. That led me to saying "I give up! I can't do this and I need some help!" I met a man who became my first sponsor. The next day I saw a reader board at a church. It said "When you are at your wit's end, that is where you will find God." I haven't had to fight taking a drink since.

At a little more than a year sober, I was making amends and making this a way of living and things were good. Then I destroyed my knee at work and went from having a lot of money to having no money. It was during this time that I began to find out what prosperity really means. One day I was sitting at home on a rainy Saturday afternoon. And I realized that it was quiet, both within and without and that I didn't want to be anywhere else but where I was at that moment, and that I had a sense of connection to everyone and everything.

When I was seven years sober my dad passed away and I found out that I could grieve sober.

At between ten and eleven years sober I went through a spiritual crisis, a "Dark Night of The Soul." where I became dis-illusioned. A real time of questioning everything. I surrendered to that process and became willing to let God take me where God wants me, even it meant out of AA. I lost my attachment to AA, and it was during this time that I really joined AA. I had to get free of AA so that I could love AA.

Who knows where this deal will take me? But that is half the fun of it. I do know that I am on my way to the next surrender and the next awakening. Or maybe I'm in the middle of it right now, because once again I have been questioning my place here and have considered walking away from AA. We'll see what happens.
Jim

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by Wolfchild

What has been a turning point for you in your recovery process?

When I realized the promises were real!

[bugsworth]

When I realized I was not powerless and that I held the keys to my own cell.

[barb dwyer]

finishing the fifth step.

writing the fourth step..changed me for ever.
the fifth step - changed my life.

completely.
totally.
just like in the movies.

[Zencat]

Originally Posted by bugsworth

When I realized I was not powerless and that I held the keys to my own cell.

I'm somewhere there with bugs. When I realized I am generating my own suffering and drug dependence was only the tip of the problem. Then the suffering ends and the way out of suffering begins, with me informed with a spiritual practice that leads my way.

[Threshold]

realizing that I had many more addictions than I first thought, and realizing it is the issues I need to focus on. Realizing that I am NOT clean, or sober, but not giving up, even though I really don't want to give up some of my addictions, and am not sure I ever will.

So, I push on, going deeper and deeper into my real issues, hoping that one day I will want to give those last addictions up as well.

[yankees24]

Im not sure if i met my turning point yet, i hope i have, but hopefully i can say that this website helped me find it...thanks for everyone sharing, it helps me more and more each day..

[Firehazard]

Being hopeless and powerless enough to finally ask a group of strangers for help.

[Theresa]

I hope today is my turning point: turning back and looking at myself and simply admitting that, yes, I am an alcoholic for whatever reason I cannot drink.

[littlefish]

I also have more than one turning points. When I finally told my husband that I am an alcoholic, that was one. When I finally said that, after years of secret drinking, I had the incredible feeling that a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I felt an overwhelming stream of emotions: relief, freedom, hope.

When I finally walked into an AA meeting, nervous as heck. When I finally called up a rehab center, crying. I had the feeling that there is no turning back now: I was entering uncharted territory, but I wasn't afraid: the territory was in the light, and I was moving towards it from a black abyss.

[marty888]

I feel I am going through a major turning point now. My first big overseas trip after 4 1/2 months sober. 8 hour flight, staying in executive lounge hotels with happy hours etc etc. Visiting AA in foreign countries. I feel in control and have no desire to pick up