Addicted to Recovery?

[Lily]

In the beginning I was sooo into the meetings. Lately they are okay. Our meetings are so small here....like 4-5 ppl maybe a newcomer here and there. Seems the newcomers come and go like a revolving door.

I hate the drama......I was getting depressed a while back w/ the drama. There was a lady who I swear must be related to Freya's relative. She isn't coming around anymore. The meetings are nicer now. :-)

I do not think I am addicted to recovery. I agree w/ Peter...moderation in all things.

Sheila

[Jen042208]

Better to be addicted to recovery than addicted to alcohol or drugs.

[vegibean]

balance------>

Hee hee, what do I enjoy more? The site or the smileys on the site???

[Boleo]

Meet a woman who;

Drank one time
Blacked-out one time
Has been going to AA meetings daily for 18 years

(where is her addition?)

[NoelleR]

Originally Posted by Boleo

Meet a woman who;

Drank one time
Blacked-out one time
Has been going to AA meetings daily for 18 years

(where is her addition?)

HUH....??

[freya]

Originally Posted by Boleo

Meet a woman who;

Drank one time
Blacked-out one time
Has been going to AA meetings daily for 18 years

(where is her addition?)

I truly have no idea.....and, in order for me to even begin to guess how much of an idea you might have, I'd have to know A LOT more about how well you know this person....Based only on what you said above, my guess would be that whatever happened to this person the time she drank and blacked-out was enough to scare her into not wanting it to happen again (You seem to be implying that that constitutes a ludicrous over-reaction on her part...but why couldn't it just as well constitute really high awareness, and/or a very scary family history, and/or just d*mn good luck????? Like I said, A LOT more info would be needed to even make a guess about any of that.)

But regardless, based on the very limited info you have provided, it would certainly seem that this woman came to AA and she found something she liked -- A LOT if she's been going to a meeting a day for 18 years......and simply based on the fact that she does so, you seem to be implying that you think she is addicted to AA and, as per your not-quite-rhetorical question, that others should think the same. Again, A LOT more info would be needed in order for anyone who didn't just have some kind of chip on his/her shoulder about AA or about recovery or spirituality in general to be willing to make that assumption based on the extremely limited info you have given.

Like I said way back in this thread, I do believe that there are people that get "addicted" to their participation in recovery programs, but, in my experience, that is not in anyway the same thing as being "addicted to recovery." In fact, the concept of "addicted to recovery" is, for me, a total oxymoron -- since, addictive behavior and true recovery are mutually exclusive, and one can, therefore, only "have" one of them to the extent that one does not "have" the other. So, certainly there are people who are very active within recovery programs but whose emotional states and whose behavior would seem to indicate that they are using the trappings associated with recovery no differently than they formerly used their DOC or their obsessive-behavior-of-choice.

However, since recovery -- at least of the 12 Step variety -- is, ultimately, a spiritual program/practice, the simple fact that someone participates in it daily over a very long period of time, does not necessarily make that behavior addictive. As far as I can tell, spiritual practice of any type is in fact something that the people who truly participate in do very regularly over long periods of time. I happen to know some Zen Buddhists who spend at least 2 hours per day in meditation -- Are they "addicted" to Zen Buddhism?? I know a couple Catholics who attend mass every day and I know more than a couple of Christians of various denominations and some Moslems who follow extensive daily prayer regimens -- Are they "addicted" to praying???? As I posted in another thread, I have a friend who spent 35 years in a cloistered convent, in prayer and contemplation for more hours per day than most of us spend at our jobs -- Does that make her an addict?

As far as I can tell, true spiritual practice of any type, requires some kind of daily practice...I don't really see why, just because that practice might include attending a meeting, that necessarily makes that practice an addiction.

I guess, for me, the ultimate test of whether or not any repetitive behavior constitutes "addiction" is the question of whether that behavior is actually contributing to or undermining the overall quality of someone's life, of his/her mental health and emotional stability, of his/her spiritual connection and serenity, and of his/her personal growth and development in all of the above areas.....Addictive behavior ultimately undermines rather than contributes....and as I said at the start of this post, I'd have to know A LOT more about the person you're talking about to even begin to feel comfortable forming an opinion...let alone sharing it with anyone.

freya

[Boleo]

I had a chance to sit next to a old-timer who had a 48 year chip. I asked him if AA had changed much since he started attending meetings?

His answer was "sure has, back in the old days we were all alcoholics. No one was forced to come."

I then asked him what percentage of members were alcoholics today? His answer was "maybe half. But that does not mean the rest don't belong here. They are better off here than in a bar or behind bars, which is where most of them would be without AA."

The point that he was trying to make was, nobody is worse off going to AA. Even social drinkers get into less trouble if they attend AA.

[freya]

Originally Posted by Boleo

His answer was "maybe half. But that does not mean the rest don't belong here. They are better off here than in a bar or behind bars, which is where most of them would be without AA."

The point that he was trying to make was, nobody is worse off going to AA.

Sounds like a very wise, compassionate, and accepting person!

freya

[blizzardm17]

Originally Posted by Peter

It is all about "balance" guys.

Fortunately for me the "oldtimers" that still attend my homegroup are well aware of the importance of balance. I do not believe they still attend meetings because they do not have a social life but because they understand the importance of "giving back" and because they still feel a joy of fellowship.

The oldtimers at my meetings are well loved and respected ( personally I wish I could see and hear them share more often) If they feel a measure of pride in their success in recovery then who am I to begrudge them that.

addiction is about self destructive behavior so i dont think you would classify excessive meeting attendance as being addiction. freyas relative may be an exception. to be so obsessed with making a meeting that you would risk your life seems like insanity not recovery. what i am trying to say is the more meetings the better unless actually attending so many that your life is falling apart because you are doing nothing but going to meetings. in early recovery it is hard to make too many meetings later on balance is the key. the disease is chronic, with me every day, so recovery is needed every day, people who make meetings regularly, stay clean:ghug2

addiction:
Psychological and bodily dependence on a substance or practice which is beyond voluntary control it would be hard to fit meeting attendance into that definition

[BellasNona]

I find myself wondering where I fit in my husband's life. The first time he started meetings he became obcessed. 7 meetings a week, week after week. I know they say you should complete 90 straight days, thats cool, but I know from this experience my husband became addicted to the meetings. Now we are right back at the beginning, he used again this passed weekend, so here we go again with the meetings. I don't fit in that world and I don't fit in the drug world. Where does family fit in???

[Ago]

good thread, here is an interesting slant on it from another angle, follow the url

Originally Posted by Gabe

Many times, it's our past wounds that keep us from forming healthy relationships in our present.
And we can unknowingly participate in this, by using our wounds as some sort of definition of who we are.
Carolyn Myss refers to this as Woundology.
Here is a link to an excellent article addressing the subject.
Why People Don't Heal and How They Can

I have been around for 16 years, I was talking about this very subject to a friend with 21 years, I have many friends who stopped going to meetings, they go to church once a week, or do some Buddhism, Yoga, some sort of spiritual practice, but stopped going to meetings, they seem to be doing very well in most cases, sometimes they'll come back for a few years, only to drift away again.

I have other friends, who go to 5-7 meetings a week, even with around twenty years of sobriety...I have my opinion as to why some of them do this, but they are happy, helpful members of society, and they help a lot of alcoholics as well as in "real life".

Some of my friends attend 1-3 meetings a week, they have a life, and are living it, but still keep one foot in the door, both to get "spiritually fed" and to "give back"

One thing I notice is people who insist upon "remaining sick" even with 20+ years of sobriety, Like I know I have "alcoholic thinking" that I have to be aware of, and 2.5 years without meetings living in a difficult situation made Johnny a sick puppy, but these folks wave their illness like a badge.

The way it was explained to me was after you work the twelve steps, you are "recovered" and have the tools to remain so, and don't have an excuse to drink or engage in "alcoholic" behavior, now for me, "recovered" ...well, lets just say sometimes I am a few choice words and "recovered" aint one of em, but I do feel there are a group of people that don't necessarily "relapse" but in my opinion, remain "sick" because it is more comfortable for them.

So anyhow, I found "woundology" incredibly fascinating about this subject.