Hit The Lottery! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

lilbit · 05-12-2008, 03:49 PM

Well...actually I didn't even buy a ticket...I'd rather just take a buck out of my pocket and throw it out my car window into the air down a busy street...watch the people dodge cars to get it. They're odds are better than mine on making a dream come true.
Anyhow...my huzband...who SHOULD have his azz in Gamblers Anonymous....ALWAYS plays. He gets like fifty tickets...and a pack of smokes for me so I don't TOTALY loose my mind.
He always asks me..."What will be the first thing you do when we win?"
Yeah...like the "we" part cute.
"Divorce you and get half."
Pass the salt please.

Life on LIFE'S TERMS.

Love...
*
The Bitz

Astro · 05-12-2008, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilbit

He always asks me..."What will be the first thing you do when we win?"
Yeah...like the "we" part cute.
"Divorce you and get half."

lilbit · 05-13-2008, 08:30 AM

I hate having to ask for grocery money as it is now...could you just imagine...
"Hey honey...about that Mercedes Benz I had my eye on...think you could just get rid of my old Suburban with 260,000 miles on her and spring fer the new Benz?" I'd politely ask.
"I'm BROKE! You KNOW THAT! YOU AND THOSE DAMN KIDZ COST ME A FORTUNE!!" He'd respond....no MATTER WHAT.

I'm lucky though...he'd NEVER cheat on me...Yup...Just drive me crazy for the rest of MY life. No matter what. Gotta love THAT kind of comittment. I could get kicked in the head by a horse...go crosseyed...loose all of my hair and suffer drain bamage...and he'd STILL want to have sex.
Ain't love just grand?
Ah-well...STAY SOBER! All day...just for today...ONE DAY AT A TIME!

jstme · 05-17-2008, 06:37 PM

"Divorce you and get half."
Pass the salt please.

Too Funny!!!!

**best** · 05-17-2008, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilbit

I could get kicked in the head by a horse...go crosseyed...loose all of my hair and suffer drain bamage...and he'd STILL want to have sex.

He just knows a good thing when he sees it is all.
*LOL*

Worked with a guy that asked me why I bought scratch tickets.

It's just a buck.

So he asked if he could have $1 since it was just an extra buck I was wasteing.

It is for entertainment I said.

He replied with... Ok give me a buck and I will dance a jig for you.
Some place around that point 18 years ago, I bought my last scratch ticket.

Yes a dollar out the window could be more entertaining *LOL*
and less headaches with the IRS as well. They like it when you win but don't like it when you don't put it on your tax form.

Puddy · 05-28-2008, 06:30 PM

* I asked God to spare me pain.
God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I like that a lot, it's right where I'm at right now.

lilbit · 05-29-2008, 02:21 PM

I asked GOD to spare me of stoopid huzbands and whining kidz...and more stoopid EX huzbands...and SHE said...
"Are you kidding me? If I hear THAT one more time today...."

kj3880 · 05-29-2008, 04:40 PM

bitz,
That is hilarious! If I hear that one more time today....I bet she hear it way too much...

bugsworth · 07-19-2008, 04:28 AM

lilbit, you never fail to crack me up! I have to learn to stop drinking my coffee when I read your post as I always wind up spitting it out thru my nose! Thanks for the early morning laugh!!

bugsworth · 07-19-2008, 04:29 AM

Crap, I just realized that was an old post...oh well made me laugh anyway!

ananda · 07-19-2008, 08:38 AM

humor never goes out of date bugsy!

Toomutch · 07-19-2008, 08:48 AM

Bugs - I lost a fair share of my coffee through my nose on this thread too.

Thanks lilbit - it looks like you owe me a new keyboard.

05-12-2008, 03:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
lilbit Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Leesburg,NJ Posts: 255	Hit The Lottery! Well...actually I didn't even buy a ticket...I'd rather just take a buck out of my pocket and throw it out my car window into the air down a busy street...watch the people dodge cars to get it. They're odds are better than mine on making a dream come true. Anyhow...my huzband...who SHOULD have his azz in Gamblers Anonymous....ALWAYS plays. He gets like fifty tickets...and a pack of smokes for me so I don't TOTALY loose my mind. He always asks me..."What will be the first thing you do when we win?" Yeah...like the "we" part cute. "Divorce you and get half." Pass the salt please. Life on LIFE'S TERMS. Love... * The Bitz

05-13-2008, 08:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
lilbit Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Leesburg,NJ Posts: 255	Don't GET ME WRONG....BUT... I hate having to ask for grocery money as it is now...could you just imagine... "Hey honey...about that Mercedes Benz I had my eye on...think you could just get rid of my old Suburban with 260,000 miles on her and spring fer the new Benz?" I'd politely ask. "I'm BROKE! You KNOW THAT! YOU AND THOSE DAMN KIDZ COST ME A FORTUNE!!" He'd respond....no MATTER WHAT. I'm lucky though...he'd NEVER cheat on me...Yup...Just drive me crazy for the rest of MY life. No matter what. Gotta love THAT kind of comittment. I could get kicked in the head by a horse...go crosseyed...loose all of my hair and suffer drain bamage...and he'd STILL want to have sex. Ain't love just grand? Ah-well...STAY SOBER! All day...just for today...ONE DAY AT A TIME!

05-17-2008, 06:37 PM	#4 (permalink)
jstme Relapse is not an option! Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Gardner,KS Posts: 34	"Divorce you and get half." Pass the salt please. Too Funny!!!!
	__________________ God never wastes a hurt!

05-28-2008, 06:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Puddy Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 26	* I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I like that a lot, it's right where I'm at right now.
Puddy Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 26

05-29-2008, 02:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
lilbit Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Leesburg,NJ Posts: 255	God said THIS too... I asked GOD to spare me of stoopid huzbands and whining kidz...and more stoopid EX huzbands...and SHE said... "Are you kidding me? If I hear THAT one more time today...."

05-29-2008, 04:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 1,003	bitz, That is hilarious! If I hear that one more time today....I bet she hear it way too much...

07-19-2008, 04:28 AM	#9 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957	lilbit, you never fail to crack me up! I have to learn to stop drinking my coffee when I read your post as I always wind up spitting it out thru my nose! Thanks for the early morning laugh!!
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957

07-19-2008, 04:29 AM	#10 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957	Crap, I just realized that was an old post...oh well made me laugh anyway!
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957

07-19-2008, 08:38 AM	#11 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere Left of Left Posts: 3,883	humor never goes out of date bugsy!

07-19-2008, 08:48 AM	#12 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Colorado Posts: 1,597	Bugs - I lost a fair share of my coffee through my nose on this thread too. Thanks lilbit - it looks like you owe me a new keyboard.
	__________________ When I raise my hands, bow my head I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red They tell me that there's more to life than just what i can see I believe... Brooks And Dunn

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
If I won the lottery!	GoldenGutters	Cafe Central	4	03-14-2006 03:36 AM
Lottery	Gooch	Recovery Follies	3	10-04-2004 10:20 PM