Where Is Happiness - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Doug · 01-02-2008, 12:44 PM

The view that happiness and unhappiness come from external things and people puts us in a predicament, because we can never completely control the people and things around us. We try to obtain what we want, but we never have enough. Continuously disappointed, we search for more and better of whatever it is we think will bring us happiness.

Likewise, we think that whenever we have a problem, it's due to an external person or thing. We attribute our emotional problems to the way or parents treated us when we were young. We blame our present dissatisfaction on our employers, employees, relatives, or friends. We wish that the people around us would learn to treat us better.

Others aren't what we want them to be, and we are constantly frustrated in our attempts to make them change. Our lives can become very complicated as we try to make the world what we want it to be. Unfortunately, the world doesn't cooperate.

Open Heart, Clear Mind

1963comet · 01-02-2008, 01:18 PM

I hear you, Thanks Doug

Dan Dare · 01-02-2008, 01:49 PM

I find society as a whole very difficult to deal with.
That's a loooong story!

mike_mass · 01-02-2008, 02:03 PM

My sponsor recommended a long time ago that I decrease my expectations in regards to people, places, or things. I tend to be happier when following this advice.

**Ann** · 01-03-2008, 01:22 AM

Thanks for this reminder that I hold the key to my own happiness, have all along. How "I" am no longer depends on how anyone else is, I am as happy as I set my mind to be.

Hugs

Rella927 · 01-11-2008, 09:15 AM

This is a great thread Doug!

A great reminder for me as I currently struggle with a new annoying employee that is pushing buttons for me left and right! I need to realize what has been said here and practice this as I always try too!

Thank you for this!

Gmoney · 01-11-2008, 12:47 PM

Good post, Doug.

Reminds me of a couple of excerpts from the Basic Text -

[1] "One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others. Relationships can be a terribly painful area. We tend to fantasize and project what will happen. We get angry and resentful if our fantasies are not fulfilled. We forget that we are powerless over other people."

[2] "Since the beginning of our recovery, we have found that joy doesn't come from material things, but from within ourselves."

Happiness is a choice.

jimhere · 01-11-2008, 07:08 PM

One time some one asked me "When am I going to get happy?" I answered "Never!"

If I think happiness is something I need to get, it will always be just out of my reach.

01-02-2008, 12:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
Doug Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: S.E. Mich. Posts: 1,442	Where Is Happiness The view that happiness and unhappiness come from external things and people puts us in a predicament, because we can never completely control the people and things around us. We try to obtain what we want, but we never have enough. Continuously disappointed, we search for more and better of whatever it is we think will bring us happiness. Likewise, we think that whenever we have a problem, it's due to an external person or thing. We attribute our emotional problems to the way or parents treated us when we were young. We blame our present dissatisfaction on our employers, employees, relatives, or friends. We wish that the people around us would learn to treat us better. Others aren't what we want them to be, and we are constantly frustrated in our attempts to make them change. Our lives can become very complicated as we try to make the world what we want it to be. Unfortunately, the world doesn't cooperate. Open Heart, Clear Mind

01-02-2008, 01:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
1963comet Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,384	I hear you, Thanks Doug __________________ Just Maybe... It is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it, But it is also true we do not know what we have been missing until it Arrives.

01-03-2008, 01:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,192	Thanks for this reminder that I hold the key to my own happiness, have all along. How "I" am no longer depends on how anyone else is, I am as happy as I set my mind to be. Hugs __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

01-11-2008, 09:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
Rella927 ¢σммυηιту gяєєтєя Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Spreading my wings Posts: 7,147	This is a great thread Doug! A great reminder for me as I currently struggle with a new annoying employee that is pushing buttons for me left and right! I need to realize what has been said here and practice this as I always try too! Thank you for this! __________________ Dance as though no one is watching you Love as though you have never been hurt before Live as though heaven is on earth.

01-11-2008, 12:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
Gmoney Evolving Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York State Posts: 2,910	Good post, Doug. Reminds me of a couple of excerpts from the Basic Text - [1] "One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others. Relationships can be a terribly painful area. We tend to fantasize and project what will happen. We get angry and resentful if our fantasies are not fulfilled. We forget that we are powerless over other people." [2] "Since the beginning of our recovery, we have found that joy doesn't come from material things, but from within ourselves." Happiness is a choice. __________________ "We are never forced into relapse. We are given a choice. Relapse is never an accident." - Basic Text, 5th Ed.

01-02-2008, 01:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dan Dare Mental Rover Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Off course, of course. Posts: 50	I find society as a whole very difficult to deal with. That's a loooong story!

01-02-2008, 02:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
mike_mass Awaiting Email Confirmation Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Worcester Posts: 790	My sponsor recommended a long time ago that I decrease my expectations in regards to people, places, or things. I tend to be happier when following this advice.

01-11-2008, 07:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
jimhere Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pugetopolis Posts: 2,392	One time some one asked me "When am I going to get happy?" I answered "Never!" If I think happiness is something I need to get, it will always be just out of my reach.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode