Living example vs words

[nandm]

"Living with a saint is more grueling than being one."

Those us who have entered recovery; or have found a spiritual path that gives us meaning and purpose to our lives are deeply fortunate. Let's not make the mistake of alienating our fellow humans by insisting that they follow our example---or worse, by assuming that ours is the only choice that will allow others to flourish.

Respect for differences is something we must accord others as well as ourselves. The decisions that are transforming our lives were not made in an instant; they are the result of many experiences, perhaps of trial and error, perhaps of "hitting bottom" physically or spiritually and having to turn out lives around for our very survival.

We continue to learn and to teach through our mistakes if we're honest about them. Our vulnerabilities and imperfections, far more than preaching or smug self-satisfaction, have the power to touch others. Each of us has our own healing path.

Today, I pray to be useful, as I follow my inner guidance.

Glad Day. Joan Larkin

I have always been resistant to hearing the message when it is preached at me. I am much more open to hearing the message when I see it applied to someone's life. This concept is reiforced every time I read the following passage in the Big Book (I believe it is applicable even if one does not follow a 12 step program)

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. .........Our behavior will convince them more than our words. page 82, line 7, 8, 12

What are your thoughts and experiences regarding living examples vs words?

[mikesm193]

Thank you for posting that. You know what I am dealing with right now and I have very little respect for the decisions someone important in my life is making. I can not detach, I have been praying and praying and getting little relief. I know it will come in God's time but I am getting the sh** beat out of me. Any advice on acceptance would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless you.

[nandm]

Originally Posted by mikesm193

Thank you for posting that. You know what I am dealing with right now and I have very little respect for the decisions someone important in my life is making. I can not detach, I have been praying and praying and getting little relief. I know it will come in God's time but I am getting the sh** beat out of me. Any advice on acceptance would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless you.

My heart truly goes out to you during this struggle. My experience and thoughts on acceptance are based on the program of A.A. Here is the quote I have found most useful for me when I am struggling with acceptance.

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation---some fact of my life----unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I can not be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. Big Book of A.A. page 449.

I pray for you and your situation daily and do hope you are able to come to some peace with the problem. Take care. Good to see you posting here. Hopefully SR will be able to provide you some support during this trying time in your life.
Judith

[savoy]

Originally Posted by mikesm193

Thank you for posting that. You know what I am dealing with right now and I have very little respect for the decisions someone important in my life is making. I can not detach, I have been praying and praying and getting little relief. I know it will come in God's time but I am getting the sh** beat out of me. Any advice on acceptance would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless you.

Gods time is now.
If I ain't getter better now its because I've decided to act later and blame God for being slow.

I did not practice acceptence in that vernacular,
I worked the steps so screw acceptence.

Anyone who accepts that they will not work the steps now must accept the simple fact that their suffering will persist by choice.

[Dee74]

Reposting this for the benefit of those who seem incapable of grasping this simple concept

Let's not make the mistake of alienating our fellow humans by insisting that they follow our example---or worse, by assuming that ours is the only choice that will allow others to flourish.

Respect for differences is something we must accord others as well as ourselves.

One of the gifts recovery had afforded me is the sure and certain knowledge that I don't know everything.
D

[savoy]

Lets all embrace insanity and therefore remain insane,

for the sake of tolerance.

That is not tolerance.

"we have recovered". The Big Book of AA, accept no immitations.

[bugsworth]

Anyone who accepts that they will not work the steps now must accept the simple fact that their suffering will persist by choice.[/QUOTE]


You are assuming that those who do not work the steps are suffering.

Is it also your assumption that those who do work the steps are free from suffering? Go to any meeting and you will find plenty of steppers still suffering.

Life is not black and white.

[nandm]

[nandm]

Back to the topic of the thread.


Living example vs words

:
"Living with a saint is more grueling than being one."

Those us who have entered recovery; or have found a spiritual path that gives us meaning and purpose to our lives are deeply fortunate. Let's not make the mistake of alienating our fellow humans by insisting that they follow our example---or worse, by assuming that ours is the only choice that will allow others to flourish.

Respect for differences is something we must accord others as well as ourselves. The decisions that are transforming our lives were not made in an instant; they are the result of many experiences, perhaps of trial and error, perhaps of "hitting bottom" physically or spiritually and having to turn out lives around for our very survival.

We continue to learn and to teach through our mistakes if we're honest about them. Our vulnerabilities and imperfections, far more than preaching or smug self-satisfaction, have the power to touch others. Each of us has our own healing path.

Today, I pray to be useful, as I follow my inner guidance.

Glad Day. Joan Larkin

I have always been resistant to hearing the message when it is preached at me. I am much more open to hearing the message when I see it applied to someone's life. This concept is reiforced every time I read the following passage in the Big Book (I believe it is applicable even if one does not follow a 12 step program)
Quote:
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. .........Our behavior will convince them more than our words. page 82, line 7, 8, 12

What are your thoughts and experiences regarding living examples vs words?

[mikel60]

Early in recovery I discovered that the joy-boys weren't going to help me at all. I seethed inwardly as they offered rides to all the girls in the halfway house - would tell me they were full in order to be alone with newcomers. I promised myself that if I made it, I wouldn't be that way. I made a vow to work the steps and be a power of example. I want to be a living example of how the program can work. Have I succeeded? I don't know... I still go around using words like joyboys...

[mikesm193]

The words become easy to say, we alcoholics have no problem with what to say to get ourselves out of a jam. At least I never did, one of challenges I have is figuring out when I am reverting back to that defense mechanism instead of speaking from the heart. Ultimately it is only the actions that matter! Working the steps is the way to growth but growth involves suffering. I guess it is what you do during and with the pain that will determine the outcome.

Did that make any sense?

[1963comet]

I just asked this question to the lawyer who is trieing to get my drivers license back. How do you tell if some one is living it or talking it. The hearing officer said that I did not answer a question right.

I have been living sober for 7 years. I felt if I knew AA by heart, then I would have gotten my license weather I was drinking or not.

It is just hard to prove to people that don't know me. dang it