Lying to Ourselves - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

**Ann** · 08-26-2007, 03:59 AM

You are reading from the book Touchstones

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.
--Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The primary requirement for our recovery is honesty. In order to grow in honesty we first needed to see how we had lied to others and to ourselves. This was not as easy as it first appeared. Our lies to ourselves kept us so fully in the dark that we did not know we were lying. We sometimes told "sincere" lies because we honestly did not distinguish the truth within ourselves. For so long we had preferred dishonest rationalizations, and we had come to believe them.

The spiritual life of this program is based upon experience. What we feel, what we see and hear, is what we know. When we simplify our lives and base the truth upon our experiences, we slowly cleanse ourselves of the lies we told ourselves. With this kind of honesty comes an inner peace with ourselves in whom we can say, "I know myself."

Today, I will accept my experience as a simple message of truth.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

**Ann** · 08-26-2007, 04:05 AM

Rationalizing why I did something that I know in my heart was unhealthy for myself or for others, does not make it a truth. Blame and shame can cloud the issue, for me, and seeking out the simple truth will set me free.

If I think "I acted like a crazy person because my son's addiction brought out the worst in me" is close, but still blames. Recognizing my own codependency and my part in my behaviour is the simple truth that needs work and healing. "I acted like a crazy person because I haven't learned to accept that which I cannot change and I have not learned to deal with my own feelings of fear and anger" brings me much closer to finding the truth and doing something healthy about it.

"The truth will set you free" is an expression that I have found accurate and appropriate for finding my way to a better path.

Hugs

indigo · 08-28-2007, 02:46 AM

Thank you Ann.

08-26-2007, 03:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,192	Lying to Ourselves You are reading from the book Touchstones Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others. --Fyodor Dostoyevsky The primary requirement for our recovery is honesty. In order to grow in honesty we first needed to see how we had lied to others and to ourselves. This was not as easy as it first appeared. Our lies to ourselves kept us so fully in the dark that we did not know we were lying. We sometimes told "sincere" lies because we honestly did not distinguish the truth within ourselves. For so long we had preferred dishonest rationalizations, and we had come to believe them. The spiritual life of this program is based upon experience. What we feel, what we see and hear, is what we know. When we simplify our lives and base the truth upon our experiences, we slowly cleanse ourselves of the lies we told ourselves. With this kind of honesty comes an inner peace with ourselves in whom we can say, "I know myself." Today, I will accept my experience as a simple message of truth. From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

08-26-2007, 04:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,192	Rationalizing why I did something that I know in my heart was unhealthy for myself or for others, does not make it a truth. Blame and shame can cloud the issue, for me, and seeking out the simple truth will set me free. If I think "I acted like a crazy person because my son's addiction brought out the worst in me" is close, but still blames. Recognizing my own codependency and my part in my behaviour is the simple truth that needs work and healing. "I acted like a crazy person because I haven't learned to accept that which I cannot change and I have not learned to deal with my own feelings of fear and anger" brings me much closer to finding the truth and doing something healthy about it. "The truth will set you free" is an expression that I have found accurate and appropriate for finding my way to a better path. Hugs __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

08-28-2007, 02:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	Thank you Ann. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

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