who can I talk to right now? and how??? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

bloodandwater · 02-04-2007, 06:52 PM

who can I talk to right now? and how?????????//

tubesk · 02-04-2007, 06:57 PM

if you're just looking for online company I'm around. you can email if you want.
otherwise there are always local or national crisis lines & AA numbers =)

ridetolive1963 · 12-05-2007, 05:56 AM

name is Jeff, have had sobriety before feel desperate have so much to lose.
Cant seem to shake it...local croud in recovery has kinda gotten feed up with my relapses..would like to mtalk to soe one if willing thank you...

**deedee** · 12-05-2007, 06:48 AM

Hi Jeff and welcome to the forums

I'm sure others will be along soon, but you might also want to introduce yourself in the newcomers forum. It's a bit more active there and I'm sure you'll find much support.

Keep posting and I'm glad you found us

BaldHeadedJohn · 12-05-2007, 07:35 AM

Hi Jeff-
I'm here if you want to chat. I've been having some troubles myself as of late. I can manage a week or two, then decide to give up/give in for a few days. I had a year and a half a while ago, but for some reason I can't convince myself to stay sober this time.

Keep posting- I'll be here for you.

Brightest blessings-
BHJ

SaTiT · 12-05-2007, 07:37 AM

well..some poeple in recovery had to jump on my ass after a while too.
Yes, i got babied. i was young only 22 and the old folks took me uder
their wings. I even pushed my grand sponsor to the edge after a while.

Yes, I didn't have to be sober to attend, but I started using the program
en-appropriately...I get well enough to use again.
Yes, it trip me out for a nice gentle older gentalman to tell me like it is.
But he wasn't lying to me. He loved me..but he cared about me too and
yeap that tuff love came out of him kind of woke my ass up..
but of couse i whine about it for a while and relapsed again of couse.

I don't know oneday after being sick of myself and all of the BS.
i finally dug the BB out from the bottom of my trunk. I didn't even
have to paid for that book. it was thrown at me. I couldn't even
stay focus enough to read. it gave me a damn headache to read it.
But i F with the program long enough.

I was young, rebillouse, onery..and it would take the people in AA
with that type of special love I needed. Willing to love me unconditionally
and willing to call the cops on my ass in an AA meeting too.lol
Not to worry..thou..my sponsor had cops called on him in AA too.
I'm not that special.lol

ccirider · 12-05-2007, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ridetolive1963

name is Jeff, have had sobriety before feel desperate have so much to lose.
Cant seem to shake it...local croud in recovery has kinda gotten feed up with my relapses..would like to mtalk to soe one if willing thank you...

Hi Jeff:

If you don't sort out all of the emotional baggage you are lugging around with you every day, you will never stay sober. Or you may get sober and then replace alcohol with gambling or some other addiction. It's not about alcohol, my friend. How much time do we spend looking outside ourselves vs. how much time do we spend looking inside ourselves? Do you think happiness comes from without or from within?

Peace.

**51anna** · 12-05-2007, 11:55 AM

Hi Jeff,

Welcome!

As you can see, there are lots of us here who have been where you are. This is a great place to come to for support.

ridetolive1963 · 12-07-2007, 05:05 AM

yes this is a total surprise...I appreciate what every single person has said.....

truly amazing.

j

barb dwyer · 12-07-2007, 06:23 AM

well jeff - how is it going today?

mike_mass · 12-07-2007, 06:50 AM

Jeff,

Apologize to the local crowd and ask for help.

ridetolive1963 · 12-08-2007, 02:55 AM

Have actually gone back to Mens Group Thurs night and quess what, everyone was supportive...Amazing what I can create in my head.

THANK YOU.

barb dwyer · 12-08-2007, 03:01 AM

that's good to hear.

When you read a site like this - you can see just how often that happens.

I was five years going back to the Fellowship.
I know exactly how each person who posts that they can't do it ... feels.

But there's nothing *I* can do about it ... you know?
Other than keep them company until they decide to go.

I'm glad you went.

savoy · 12-08-2007, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ridetolive1963

name is Jeff, have had sobriety before feel desperate have so much to lose.
Cant seem to shake it...local croud in recovery has kinda gotten feed up with my relapses..would like to mtalk to soe one if willing thank you...

We're not supposed to waste our time with the unwilling.
You might as well keep drinking until you do become willing.
Notice it says nothing about 'don't drink' in the Big Book, actually it says the opposite, step over to the nearest bar and have a few pops if thats what it takes. Thats why it works.

Ngokpa · 12-11-2007, 01:29 PM

I've been looking at a book about relapses that suggests putting your relapses on a calendar. Do an inventory of them--who you were with, where you were, what lead up to it, etc. It's a way to figure out your triggers.

When I got sober I just went to a whole mess of meetings, and still felt like a bottle would jump up and pour itself down my throat if I walked down the wrong isle of the supermarket. Being vulnerable to relapse is a fact of life in early sobriety, and it means taking it seriously and doing what you can do.

Guy I know keeps relapsing, and called me up drunk Saturday night saying how much he hates AA. I wasn't too crazy about it either in the beginning, and it still pushes my buttons from time to time, but that's secondary. The fact is I couldn't stay sober without the place and I needed to figure out what was driving the addiction. First we put out the fire, then we figure out what caused it.

**51anna** · 12-11-2007, 01:46 PM

Jeff, it's good to hear from you again.

I think us addicts can create all kinds of stuff in our heads and it's not helpful at all. Stay focused on your recovery.

savoy · 12-11-2007, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ngokpa

Do an inventory of them--who you were with, where you were, what lead up to it, etc. It's a way to figure out your triggers.

.

The reason why abstinence management doesn't work is twofold, the obvious one being that our live are unmanageable period.

The other is the because of the "trigger" that all alcoholics have.
Life.

Elizabeth2007 · 12-11-2007, 07:04 PM

Jeff .. how are you ??

frescacan · 12-11-2007, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ridetolive1963

name is Jeff, have had sobriety before feel desperate have so much to lose.
Cant seem to shake it...local croud in recovery has kinda gotten feed up with my relapses..would like to mtalk to soe one if willing thank you...

Jeff, if you're a real alcoholic, you don't need support and you don't need to sort through your "emotional baggage." You need a spiritual awakening that results from taking the steps. Any other advice can kill you. Find a sponsor that will take you through the steps out of the big book BEFORE he has you do ANYTHING else. PM me and I will be glad to give you my phone number and help you get hooked up with someone in your area.

jimhere · 12-12-2007, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ngokpa

I've been looking at a book about relapses that suggests putting your relapses on a calendar. Do an inventory of them--who you were with, where you were, what lead up to it, etc. It's a way to figure out your triggers.

When I got sober I just went to a whole mess of meetings, and still felt like a bottle would jump up and pour itself down my throat if I walked down the wrong isle of the supermarket. Being vulnerable to relapse is a fact of life in early sobriety, and it means taking it seriously and doing what you can do.

Guy I know keeps relapsing, and called me up drunk Saturday night saying how much he hates AA. I wasn't too crazy about it either in the beginning, and it still pushes my buttons from time to time, but that's secondary. The fact is I couldn't stay sober without the place and I needed to figure out what was driving the addiction. First we put out the fire, then we figure out what caused it.

And feed the lie. As long as a person thinks of themselves as a relapser that's what happens. It is always about "This time...," and "Yeah but..."

Human power solution doesn't work for the true alkie.

RubyQuinn · 12-14-2007, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frescacan

Jeff, if you're a real alcoholic, you don't need support and you don't need to sort through your "emotional baggage." You need a spiritual awakening that results from taking the steps. Any other advice can kill you. Find a sponsor that will take you through the steps out of the big book BEFORE he has you do ANYTHING else. PM me and I will be glad to give you my phone number and help you get hooked up with someone in your area.

I find this response rather dogmatic and narrow.
I'm not sure how helpful it is to be so prescriptive.

mikel60 · 12-14-2007, 09:04 PM

"Jeff, if you're a real alcoholic, you don't need support and you don't need to sort through your "emotional baggage." You need a spiritual awakening that results from taking the steps. Any other advice can kill you. Find a sponsor that will take you through the steps out of the big book BEFORE he has you do ANYTHING else."

A journey through the steps as outlined in the BB of Alcoholics Anonymous is basically an in depth sorting through of a persons emotional baggage. This sorting through, finding out where we have been selfish,dishonest, self-seeking and afraid occurs with the support of a sponsor.

The steps can help, Jeff. But it seems you are on the right track. Talk to the guys at the men's group, pray, and avoid those who might be judgemental or make bold pronouncements. Except me, of course. My bold pronouncements (like the one I made above) are wise and insightful...just kidding. Best of luck and keep posting.
Mike

ridetolive1963 · 12-18-2007, 05:12 AM

I appreciate all input....I do believe there is a God and it's not me. I feel today I have as much a chance at recovery as I did when I 1st came in in 1983.
I also believe that all action begins in thought, I need to be honest every day, I am an alcoholic and I am "different from my fellows" I am ok today.

best of Sobriety and best of the Season to all. Peace.

Jeff

salvationapril · 12-18-2007, 07:51 AM

WE made a decision.

**CarolD** · 12-18-2007, 07:19 PM

Glad to see you are making progress Jeff...

Way to go!

02-04-2007, 06:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
bloodandwater Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Saint Louis, Mo. Posts: 5	who can I talk to right now? and how??? who can I talk to right now? and how?????????//

12-05-2007, 06:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
deedee Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Faith~Hope~Love Posts: 922	Hi Jeff and welcome to the forums I'm sure others will be along soon, but you might also want to introduce yourself in the newcomers forum. It's a bit more active there and I'm sure you'll find much support. Keep posting and I'm glad you found us __________________ ~ While the light lasts I shall remember and in the darkness I shall not forget ~

12-05-2007, 07:35 AM	#5 (permalink)
BaldHeadedJohn Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Southwest PA USA Posts: 336	Hi Jeff- I'm here if you want to chat. I've been having some troubles myself as of late. I can manage a week or two, then decide to give up/give in for a few days. I had a year and a half a while ago, but for some reason I can't convince myself to stay sober this time. Keep posting- I'll be here for you. Brightest blessings- BHJ __________________ What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?

12-05-2007, 11:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,020	Hi Jeff, Welcome! As you can see, there are lots of us here who have been where you are. This is a great place to come to for support. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

12-07-2007, 05:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
ridetolive1963 Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: la quinta, ca Posts: 9	thanks yes this is a total surprise...I appreciate what every single person has said..... truly amazing. j

02-04-2007, 06:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
tubesk Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle Washington Posts: 52	if you're just looking for online company I'm around. you can email if you want. otherwise there are always local or national crisis lines & AA numbers =)

12-05-2007, 05:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
ridetolive1963 Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: la quinta, ca Posts: 9	name is Jeff, have had sobriety before feel desperate have so much to lose. Cant seem to shake it...local croud in recovery has kinda gotten feed up with my relapses..would like to mtalk to soe one if willing thank you...

12-05-2007, 07:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
SaTiT Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: anomaly Posts: 2,196	well..some poeple in recovery had to jump on my ass after a while too. Yes, i got babied. i was young only 22 and the old folks took me uder their wings. I even pushed my grand sponsor to the edge after a while. Yes, I didn't have to be sober to attend, but I started using the program en-appropriately...I get well enough to use again. Yes, it trip me out for a nice gentle older gentalman to tell me like it is. But he wasn't lying to me. He loved me..but he cared about me too and yeap that tuff love came out of him kind of woke my ass up.. but of couse i whine about it for a while and relapsed again of couse. I don't know oneday after being sick of myself and all of the BS. i finally dug the BB out from the bottom of my trunk. I didn't even have to paid for that book. it was thrown at me. I couldn't even stay focus enough to read. it gave me a damn headache to read it. But i F with the program long enough. I was young, rebillouse, onery..and it would take the people in AA with that type of special love I needed. Willing to love me unconditionally and willing to call the cops on my ass in an AA meeting too.lol Not to worry..thou..my sponsor had cops called on him in AA too. I'm not that special.lol

12-07-2007, 06:23 AM	#10 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 7,133 Blog Entries: 3	well jeff - how is it going today? __________________ "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve." 'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett

12-07-2007, 06:50 AM	#11 (permalink)
mike_mass Awaiting Email Confirmation Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Worcester Posts: 804	Jeff, Apologize to the local crowd and ask for help.

12-08-2007, 02:55 AM	#12 (permalink)
ridetolive1963 Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: la quinta, ca Posts: 9	yes.... Have actually gone back to Mens Group Thurs night and quess what, everyone was supportive...Amazing what I can create in my head. THANK YOU.

12-08-2007, 03:01 AM	#13 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 7,133 Blog Entries: 3	that's good to hear. When you read a site like this - you can see just how often that happens. I was five years going back to the Fellowship. I know exactly how each person who posts that they can't do it ... feels. But there's nothing I can do about it ... you know? Other than keep them company until they decide to go. I'm glad you went. __________________ "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve." 'Going Postal', Terry Pratchett

12-11-2007, 01:29 PM	#15 (permalink)
Ngokpa Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: El Cerrito, California Posts: 546	I've been looking at a book about relapses that suggests putting your relapses on a calendar. Do an inventory of them--who you were with, where you were, what lead up to it, etc. It's a way to figure out your triggers. When I got sober I just went to a whole mess of meetings, and still felt like a bottle would jump up and pour itself down my throat if I walked down the wrong isle of the supermarket. Being vulnerable to relapse is a fact of life in early sobriety, and it means taking it seriously and doing what you can do. Guy I know keeps relapsing, and called me up drunk Saturday night saying how much he hates AA. I wasn't too crazy about it either in the beginning, and it still pushes my buttons from time to time, but that's secondary. The fact is I couldn't stay sober without the place and I needed to figure out what was driving the addiction. First we put out the fire, then we figure out what caused it.

12-11-2007, 01:46 PM	#16 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,020	Jeff, it's good to hear from you again. I think us addicts can create all kinds of stuff in our heads and it's not helpful at all. Stay focused on your recovery. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

12-11-2007, 07:04 PM	#18 (permalink)
Elizabeth2007 Thankful for every sober day! Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Maryland Posts: 82	Jeff .. how are you ?? __________________ Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. - Thomas Edison Sober since 4/30/07

12-14-2007, 09:04 PM	#22 (permalink)
mikel60 Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Boston MA Posts: 494	"Jeff, if you're a real alcoholic, you don't need support and you don't need to sort through your "emotional baggage." You need a spiritual awakening that results from taking the steps. Any other advice can kill you. Find a sponsor that will take you through the steps out of the big book BEFORE he has you do ANYTHING else." A journey through the steps as outlined in the BB of Alcoholics Anonymous is basically an in depth sorting through of a persons emotional baggage. This sorting through, finding out where we have been selfish,dishonest, self-seeking and afraid occurs with the support of a sponsor. The steps can help, Jeff. But it seems you are on the right track. Talk to the guys at the men's group, pray, and avoid those who might be judgemental or make bold pronouncements. Except me, of course. My bold pronouncements (like the one I made above) are wise and insightful...just kidding. Best of luck and keep posting. Mike

12-18-2007, 05:12 AM	#23 (permalink)
ridetolive1963 Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: la quinta, ca Posts: 9	thanks.... I appreciate all input....I do believe there is a God and it's not me. I feel today I have as much a chance at recovery as I did when I 1st came in in 1983. I also believe that all action begins in thought, I need to be honest every day, I am an alcoholic and I am "different from my fellows" I am ok today. best of Sobriety and best of the Season to all. Peace. Jeff

12-18-2007, 07:51 AM	#24 (permalink)
salvationapril Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: newyork Posts: 18	WE made a decision.

12-18-2007, 07:19 PM	#25 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 15,181	Glad to see you are making progress Jeff... Way to go! __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!