I need Help

[AngieB]

Hi all,

I am from South Africa and found this sight searching for someone to chat to, someone going through what I am. My husband and I need help but he does not want it. We have a beutifull three year old daughter and we are messing up our lives with cocaine addiction, I want to stop but it is so so hard, may be talking to some of you guys and getting to know other people exist like me will help.

Angie

[BeautifulChaos7]

Hi Angie,
Well i'm not a drug addict...more of a cutting addict. Even though they are not the same, they are pretty similar. I think that maybe you should get yourself into some sort of support group...is there a hospital around you or a counsiling service or something to that effect? You could go there and find a group for people with your problem. I think if you want to really be there for your daughter you need to stop and think about what it could do to her. I don't have any kids but i do have a 3 year old baby cousin and she is like a daughter to me...and i often find myself thinking about how i am going to explain to her and to my kids in the future...what the scars on my arm are form. Cutting is just as addictive and dangerous as cocaine...and I guess you just have to think about your daughter and what people would have to tell her if something happened to you relating to you or your husbands cocaine addiction. Just be strong and if your husband does not want or does not think he needs help....remind him of the fact that he could die and his daughter would not have a father...and honestly your daughter doesn't even really know you or her father because when you're on drugs...the person you are is not you....it's the cocaine. And another thing you could think of is what could happen if you were to get into trouble...your daughter could be taken away from you.

That happened to my aunt...that is why me and my mother have my cousin. My aunt was a cocaine addict just like you and she couldn't stop, eventually she got into trouble went to jail then when she got out she violated her probation and the Child Protective Services were going to take her baby from her. She later found out that she had a rare type of cancer which they could not do anything for because since she was a drug addict....she was not eligable for any transplants. My aunt died just a few weeks ago on January 13, 2007. She was only 41 and only got to spend 3 years with her daughter (in and out of the hospital and rehab centers).

So just think about your little girl and think about the years with her you could lose.....it's a horrifying thing to think about but there is only one road cocaine will lead you down...and that is the worst road you could ever take.

And if your husband still doesn't want the help....then you need to do what is best for you and for your little girl. He will have to learn the hard way....maybe even the way my aunt did.

I hope this helped you. I wish you all the luck in the world and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

~BeautifulChaos7~

[deedee]

Hi Angie and welcome ~

You've made an important first step in reaching out for help. Have you checked out the Newcomers and Substance Abuse forums? You'll find a lot of good info and support there. Hope you keep posting and I'm glad you're here.

hugs ~

deedee

[consilience]

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Keep telling yourself that and your husband that, eventually it will sink deep into your mind(s), even when you are thinking about using.

You will have to change your lifestyle and may need the help of a community or a doctor. As long as you are willing to change, people will be willing to help you. You are not alone. Keep moving in the right direction. Good luck, for you, your husband and your daughter.