did I Fail???

[recoveryforme]

hi,
Did I fail because I went to an AA meeting then went home and bought wine and drank it- how long till it all sinks in, and I do start taking care of myself and listening to my higher power etc- I thought today would be a new day- and that I would sleep well not hangover, body aches etc- I BLEW IT BIG TIME- I am going to another meeting today at noon- I lost the numbers of people I should of called for support last night-

please can someon reply

[Astro]

Tradition #3 in AA is:

3. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

No, you haven't failed. In fact, by at least trying meetings you've admitted you have a problem with alcohol. That's part of Step 1 in the Twelve Steps. It's not unusual for someone to relapse, but our wish is that you get the program and achieve sobriety before it's too late. You can always go out and drink again, but there's no guarantee that you'll make it back in. If you choose to stay, I'll guarantee you that life will get better. Promise;-)

After that noon meeting today how about going out for lunch or coffee with some of the members, and putting together another list of phone numbers?
I'll look forward to hearing how it went.

Scott

[51anna]

Hi,

I would suggest that you try to learn from your experience last night. You made a decision to go and buy wine, so try to figure out what triggered that. Then, you can learn and not let that happen again. It takes a lot of work, but you can do it.

[consilience]

You have not failed, so long as you have not given up hope.

It is our willpower that makes us great. You WILL quit, so long as you have the willpower.

[wildhorse]

Originally Posted by recoveryforme

hi,
Did I fail because I went to an AA meeting then went home and bought wine and drank it- how long till it all sinks in, and I do start taking care of myself and listening to my higher power etc- I thought today would be a new day- and that I would sleep well not hangover, body aches etc- I BLEW IT BIG TIME- I am going to another meeting today at noon- I lost the numbers of people I should of called for support last night-

please can someon reply

I did the same, but I drank before I went to the AA meeting and then after. I'm so sick of this dreaded disease!

[wildhorse]

Originally Posted by consilience

You have not failed, so long as you have not given up hope.

It is our willpower that makes us great. You WILL quit, so long as you have the willpower.

I know I have to quit drinking, and sometime feel like I blame God for not giving me the will power and strength to quit.

[Nuudawn]

Be gentle with yourself. We should not beat ourselves with our mistakes, only learn from them. You drank. It is done and it is a new moment to choose a new path. We all get angry with God sometimes. I do not believe it takes a matter of will...it takes a matter of surrender. It takes knowing that your way, your belief, your decisions and your will to date have gotten you to this place. It was not until I fell down in defeat of myself that I allowed God truly in. I knew there had to be a better way and my decisions weren't getting me there. Go to AA again and allow yourself to open your ears, heart, soul and mind to a new order of doing things.

I am almost 2 months sober...and recovery is not an easy process...but it is easier on me than drinking. I'm starting to realize that I like the person I was hiding far better than my drunken ego self. She is not the tough, sassy, stoic broad I tried to put out there...she is an oversensitive, soft hearted, incredibly emotional being that I have to learn how to take care of. I can only do that sober and lucid. I have to show up everyday and learn how to heal this wounded soul who only knew how to poison herself with booze, nicotine and dishonest men who only knew how to hurt and confuse her.

No one can rescue me except myself.

Blessings to you,
Tracey

[paulmh]

Your thread title caught my eye.

I think for me, after multiple, multiple "failures" there came the point where I realised it wasn't about success and failure. It's about life and death.

I couldn't stop drinking despite repeated and miserable attempts. I eventually came to the heartfelt conclusion that there must be something different about me, since all of my friends and most of my acquaintances could drink and stop, and didn't suffer the same sorts of drama and madness that I did. When I accepted that there was something different about me, I became able to do a very simple thing - accept that every time I drank I ended up in a mess, and accepted that the most important things I had to do was avoid picking up that first drink.

Of course, beyond this I also had the benefits of AA. Because it's relatively easy for an alcoholic to get sober. What's hard is learning how to live sober.

But just for today, don't pick up that first drink. Let's get sober first.

[wildhorse]

Originally Posted by Nuudawn

Be gentle with yourself. We should not beat ourselves with our mistakes, only learn from them. You drank. It is done and it is a new moment to choose a new path. We all get angry with God sometimes. I do not believe it takes a matter of will...it takes a matter of surrender. It takes knowing that your way, your belief, your decisions and your will to date have gotten you to this place. It was not until I fell down in defeat of myself that I allowed God truly in. I knew there had to be a better way and my decisions weren't getting me there. Go to AA again and allow yourself to open your ears, heart, soul and mind to a new order of doing things.

I am almost 2 months sober...and recovery is not an easy process...but it is easier on me than drinking. I'm starting to realize that I like the person I was hiding far better than my drunken ego self. She is not the tough, sassy, stoic broad I tried to put out there...she is an oversensitive, soft hearted, incredibly emotional being that I have to learn how to take care of. I can only do that sober and lucid. I have to show up everyday and learn how to heal this wounded soul who only knew how to poison herself with booze, nicotine and dishonest men who only knew how to hurt and confuse her.

No one can rescue me except myself.

Blessings to you,
Tracey

Thanks so much for the note!! I have tried counting the days and I can't get past 5 then I get all upset with my self. I will contiune going to AA meetings and visiting with my sponsor.

My wife is about at the end of her rope. She found me sneaking around last night, she knows when I drink, because I lie to her. She found them and thank God she poured them out.

[wildhorse]

Thanks for your note.... I want to stop and get on with my life. Yes I feel mine is a do or die situation

[Golfman]

Originally Posted by wildhorse

Thanks for your note.... I want to stop and get on with my life. Yes I feel mine is a do or die situation

Wildhorse...you're right, this is life or death. There are many of us who blamed God for our problems. But what I've come to find out is that our relationship with God is a two-way street. He will bless us with sobiety if we're willing to take the "medicine" He prescribes. For me, that "medicine" was the program of AA. However, I had to honest, openminded, and willing to do what was suggested. In the beginning of Chapter 5 of the BB, the word honesty is mentioned three times in the first paragraph. I suggest being honest with yourself first. Answer these few questions honestly:

Am I really powerless over alcohol?

Am I sincerely ready to completely give myself to the program of AA?

Am I willing to go to any length to change my life and get what millions of recovering Alcoholics have gotten?

If, after careful consideration, you can honestly answer yes to these questions, then you are ready to begin. Get yourself to an AA meeting and ask for help.

If, on the other hand, you're not thoroughly convinced you're powerless over alcohol, then nothing will change. It's only by taking a little action that you will find the same ease and comfort in AA that you now find by drinking.

[BBQBOY]

I think Golfman Hit that one right down the middle of the fairway.

Work hard And Enjoy Life Again..NED