Parents of troublesome teens! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

least · 09-27-2009, 04:36 AM

I know I'm not the only parent on this site with a troubled and troubling teenager in the house. Kind of like living with a wrecking crew or a walking stick of dynamite - never know when she's going to "go off" or wreck something. Totally unreasonable with me, demanding and selfish and thoughtless and rude and downright hateful. She's my kid and I love her but I sure don't like her most of the time...

She's been 'threatening' me to move in with her older sister (fiance and new baby too) in their small apt just to "get away from mean ol' mom". I've called her bluff and told her she can stay there as long as she's welcome there, and not cramping their family style, and as long as she gets on the school bus everyday and keeps her grades up. If she screws up too badly the police/courts may have to get involved and she'd hate that even more than she hates me...

She's been diagnosed ADD and also Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and was on meds for depression but won't take them, was seeing a counselor, but now refuses any more sessions. So I'm going to leave her in "free fall" until she hits her 'bottom' and then decide where to go next. In the meantime I'm saving money on utilities and have peace and quiet in my home - just me and my dogs.

There is a Relationships and Parenting in Sobriety forum, but this 'club' could be exclusively for whining and/or brainstorming about our teens' troubles and the troubles they make for us, their weary parents.

ZeroNowhere · 09-28-2009, 08:33 PM

Man, sounds just like my teenager. She loses it and cries when things go wrong. Like for example, she had to be at powder puff practice at 630 tonight, her friend was going to pick her up because she didn't know where the house was. Come 6:30 her friend hadn't come yet. So she starts crying while we're trying to tell her one of us would take her. "But I'm laaaaate!!!" Finally her friend pulls in and kiddo goes out there with tears in her eyes.

Her main thing is. "oh, it's ok, I understand that you hate me and love my sister better" This is after we spent over $300 for school clothes. Teens think they NEED name brand stuff "it's hiiiighschool!!! I gotta look nice" She refuses to wear anything from Target or any of those stores. She has to go to Abercrombie, Hollister, and Aeropostale. She's driving me up the wall. I dread going to look for a dress for homecoming for her. I always gave my Mom the same deal though.

And she just plain out doesn't listen. I was in the bedroom and was reminding her to use good manners over at the house she was going to for powder puff. I hear silence..so I go, Ok? In a really grumpy irritated LOUD voice she yells What?!?!.

This is just a handful.

Fishman33 · 09-29-2009, 06:11 AM

If your daughter has oppositional defiant disorder and her behavior is out of control, you may want to look into a behavior modification program. It will teach you exactly how to handle these difficult situations with your daughter and empower you. You will become more confident and your daughter will learn how to solve her problems without defiant behavior.

I would also check out Empowering Parents for more helpful articles.

09-27-2009, 04:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
least recovering Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA Posts: 9,942 Blog Entries: 14	Parents of troublesome teens! I know I'm not the only parent on this site with a troubled and troubling teenager in the house. Kind of like living with a wrecking crew or a walking stick of dynamite - never know when she's going to "go off" or wreck something. Totally unreasonable with me, demanding and selfish and thoughtless and rude and downright hateful. She's my kid and I love her but I sure don't like her most of the time... She's been 'threatening' me to move in with her older sister (fiance and new baby too) in their small apt just to "get away from mean ol' mom". I've called her bluff and told her she can stay there as long as she's welcome there, and not cramping their family style, and as long as she gets on the school bus everyday and keeps her grades up. If she screws up too badly the police/courts may have to get involved and she'd hate that even more than she hates me... She's been diagnosed ADD and also Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and was on meds for depression but won't take them, was seeing a counselor, but now refuses any more sessions. So I'm going to leave her in "free fall" until she hits her 'bottom' and then decide where to go next. In the meantime I'm saving money on utilities and have peace and quiet in my home - just me and my dogs. There is a Relationships and Parenting in Sobriety forum, but this 'club' could be exclusively for whining and/or brainstorming about our teens' troubles and the troubles they make for us, their weary parents. __________________ I'd rather live in my van with my dogs than live in a mansion without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Plus que je connais les hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. (The more I know mankind, the more I love my dog)

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09-28-2009, 08:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
ZeroNowhere Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Flint, Michigan Posts: 37	Man, sounds just like my teenager. She loses it and cries when things go wrong. Like for example, she had to be at powder puff practice at 630 tonight, her friend was going to pick her up because she didn't know where the house was. Come 6:30 her friend hadn't come yet. So she starts crying while we're trying to tell her one of us would take her. "But I'm laaaaate!!!" Finally her friend pulls in and kiddo goes out there with tears in her eyes. Her main thing is. "oh, it's ok, I understand that you hate me and love my sister better" This is after we spent over $300 for school clothes. Teens think they NEED name brand stuff "it's hiiiighschool!!! I gotta look nice" She refuses to wear anything from Target or any of those stores. She has to go to Abercrombie, Hollister, and Aeropostale. She's driving me up the wall. I dread going to look for a dress for homecoming for her. I always gave my Mom the same deal though. And she just plain out doesn't listen. I was in the bedroom and was reminding her to use good manners over at the house she was going to for powder puff. I hear silence..so I go, Ok? In a really grumpy irritated LOUD voice she yells What?!?!. This is just a handful.

09-29-2009, 06:11 AM	#3 (permalink)
Fishman33 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 17	If your daughter has oppositional defiant disorder and her behavior is out of control, you may want to look into a behavior modification program. It will teach you exactly how to handle these difficult situations with your daughter and empower you. You will become more confident and your daughter will learn how to solve her problems without defiant behavior. I would also check out Empowering Parents for more helpful articles.

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