Help with my girlfriend

[jpowel21]

Hello Sober Community,

Hopefully someone on this board can help me.

My girlfriend (or I guess my ex) has been smoking pot everyday for the last 10 years plus (roughly). We had some problems in our relationship that she essentially placed entirely on my shoulders. She was constantly telling me that I needed 'help,' and 'therapy,' because I would do things like walk too far in front of her with a cooler, or tell her I was walking in my neighborhood with a weighted backpack. The other night she got angry because I told her she out to wash her window with wiper fluid. When she did, because of grease from the road, the windshield became dirtier than before. She became furious with me. I offered to clean her windshield. She refused to stop and let me clean it.

My father lost his leg in a motorcycle wreck about a month and a half ago. Two of his friends were killed in the same wreck. The lady driving the car that hit my father was high at the time. I spent a week with him after the wreck. When I got back, I really felt like my girlfriend and I should stop driving while on anything and we should use cabs and that sort of thing. She became furious and said, "I knew you would use this to start this bullshit." I was pretty heartbroken by that because I was in love with her and didn't want to lose her, but I felt like I was betraying my father when we would continue to drive around high (with her driving...I won't drive high anymore). She continues to drive with a buzz all the time.

My girlfriend became furious with me the other night after I had begun the process of cleaning the blinds in her room. I had to rotate the blinds 180 degrees so that they could be properly cleaned. She called me the next night in a rage because evidently it was easier to see in her room than when the blinds were rotated the other way.

My girlfriend is constantly bitching at me when I drive. Speed up! Slow down! If I left her apartment without locking the door, which I did a couple of times, she would be angry about it months later.

I have noticed that there is a discernible difference in her behavior when she is not on pot. She is much sweeter and kinder. She has more patience with all people.

I feel like she blamed all of our problems (our problems being nothing more than her getting pissed off all the time because I was doing things like turning the blinds over) on me when I'm pretty sure that her pot-use had a great deal to do with her inability to deal with certain situations.

She has been constantly telling me I need to be in therapy. According to her, I have social anxiety and am ADD. Well, I looked up both and it's pretty much impossible for me to be either one. I have lots of friends and go out all the time. As for the ADD, well that's one pretty much silly. I'm forgetful sometimes, but that's about it. In regards to my mental health state I'm actually a very happy person. I went through a period of depression after having some stomach surgery, but it went away after I started feeling better.

I feel like I've been living with a person who doesn't really want to deal with herself and so she puts everything on me. I have a feeling her behavior has a great deal to her pot use. I feel like she uses pot so she doesn't have to deal with her emotions.

The thing is, I still love her, but I realize I should probably move on. She has shot me a thousand mean glances and said a great many mean things.

I'll never forget the day that something really stressful happened for her and she started smoking a joint like it was an asthma inhaler.

A great many of her friends are current or recovered drug users/abusers. Some of the others have other addictions and problems.

Her father passed when she was 17 and I feel like she's been on the run from her emotions ever since, but that is conjecture.

The scenarios described above in the first paragraph or two are just typical stuff. I could list more, but I don't feel like typing that much.

I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.

[windysan]

I never had any problems with pot being addictive. I'm sure a pot addict will come along shortly and help you with this. Good luck with it.