Please Help....a newbie

[Lizrox]

I am a 32 year old from South Florida. I have had addiction problems for a long time, (alcohol, benzos).

When I first moved down to Florida in 2000 I wound up drinking 24/7. I wound up in detox 2 weeks later. Then came more inpatient treatment to follow. I managed to stop drinking on my own for a while.

A year ago I went to a neurologist; for neuropathy (brings on lots of pain). He prescribed me Tramadol (ultram). I know not everyone has heard of it. It is supposed to be nonaddictive (yeah; right). I went neurologist shopping to get more and more Tramadol. The highs were amazing.

When the neurologists stopped prescribing me Tramadol I went on to pain clinics. Two months ago I fell through a glass table and hurt my back. I have been dr. shopping and they just give me more and more Tramadol (ultram). One dr went as far as to give me Roxicodone and Percocet. (those drugs don't effect me one bit; the Tramadol does).

The last time I did Tramadol was Thursday; and I know I have to stop. I have a two year old daughter. Any suggestions; inpatient traetment is out of the question because I have no one to take care of my daughter; my husband works.

All I do is go to websites where you can buy Tramadol withut a prescription and am so tempted to buy but I know it would just make the addiction worse.

My dr. has given me Valium and Klonopin for anxiety attacks and those don't even effect me. I can take ten 10mg of Valium and run a marathon.

Forgot to add....I can take 40-50 50mg Tramadol at a time. Reg. dosage is 50-100mg every 6-8 hours. My psychiatrist has me on antidepressants and my body has such a tolerance I don't think they are going to work.

Any suggestions for me; Please help....

[best]

Welcome to SR

I have no experience with such but others will be along that may have answers.
An opinion... try looking into pain therapies again. Maybe even looking into alternate therapies? Accupuncture or other options?

Maybe Dr shop for a Dr that understands pain therapies rather then a Dr that will Rx for pain?

[Lizrox]

The problem is; I don't have much pain anymore.....I just want the pills...

[best]

A moment at a time. Say no.
Deal with the desire a day at a time. Today I won't use.
May want to look into NA meetings for added support as well.
Meetings are filled with info and support on the best way to deal with the cravings and get past them.

As I stated above...others will be along who have more info then I do. Your not alone. You can get through this.

[Smyle]

Liz.... I really think you need to try to find an out patient program or do the 90 meetings in 90 days ....I worked in pharmacy for a long time and know that you are taking a dangerously large dose of tramadol.......you really need to get some help....I overdosed on narcotics in front of my kids and I see you have a little one....do you really want to put her through that ????

I would hate for your family to have to go through that.....

If you have no pain anymore...and are still dr shopping you are also risking prosecution if you are caught doing this...I too went through some legal trouble from my addiction and that is also scary and expensive.....

Please consider going to an NA meeting or finding an addiction specialist in your area ......If you really want to quit you have to just do it....

PM me if you need to talk ....I am worried for you and hope you find some help and quickly.......
Prayers and you can do this....i had a 80 to 100 pill a day habit ...hydro's benzo..whatever basically so ...there is hope sweetie !!!!!

[angelgirl]

Welcome Liz,

Great to have you here..

Most, if not all of us are familiar with Tramadol. We know that although they are said to be non-addicting, they really are.

We are not a medical community, and it's very irresponsible for any of us to give out medical advice. But we will be here to support you everyday, and night..

How about going to a doctor, and asking for help. They see people often now days that have gotten themselves into this place with pills. Because they are so easily attainable off the internet. The doctors can help you get off, without going to detox, yet, they know how to help you.,. I have done this, and I told the doctors that I got the meds on the streets. They have helped me. They will not report you, many people have gone for help..

Also, have you ever attended any type of meeting such as NA or AA or Celebrate Recovery, or Smart? If you can check out a meeting like this, there is alot of support in meetings, and you will find you are not alone. There are many people with the same addictions.

We're here for you, keep posting..
Prayers,
Becky

[Lizrox]

Thank you all for your quick responses. Does anyone else have any more advice??

[AVR]

Sorry Lizrox. I am too new in the recovery process to have any useful advice, but I can tell you that you're not alone. I'm going through the same thoughts you have expressed. Its good to know there are others out there who are going through the same thing. This board has been very helpful and positive for me. My thoughts are with you.

[notsleepingwell]

LIZROX....I don't have any practical advice....my daughter is the addict in my life. She injured her back at work and was prescribed oxy's.....well, the downward spiral happened so fast (at least it seemed that way to me). She was a nurse, and note I said was, she has lost her son, lost her job, lost her apt and now is living in a drug infested house, sleeping on a dirty mattress, and doing God knows what for drugs. She was a beautiful girl..29, weighed 170 - 180 lbs....well, she could star in a halocaust movie now, cause she weighs probably about 90lbs, face is broken out in sores, and ....I'm not trying to scare you....just telling it like it is....so glad you are here trying to get help. This is a great place with no judgement, just acceptance and love!!!!!!!!

Welcome

[genesee]

lizrox,

I have not posted on this site is a while, but your story really hit me. I have been in the same boat. I abused all sorts of pain killers in addition to Ultram, and yes, bought freely through the internet. Ultram was very addicting. I also drank to increase the high. I kept abusing for 5 years after my back problem. I’m now well on my way back to being just me again.

Advise:

Every hour, every day you keep of this crap is a day closer to life as it should and can be. I have a 6 year old daughter. My lives with her and my wife have never been better. I know you first need to do it for yourself, but your 2 year old can't be far behind.

I took a muscle relaxer later in the afternoons to curb the anxiety and cravings. They also help me sleep. The problem is they made me feel drowsy during the day, but they helped.

I went to bed as soon as I could in the evenings. This helped take my mind off of getting high even if I just lay there and watched TV.

Drink lots of de-caffeinated tea and lots of water.

Exercise as frequently as possible. Don't worry about the intensity, just get the heart pumping. Here is a bit of conflict with taking muscle relaxers.

As soon as you can rid yourself of medication (muscle relaxers, sleep aids, etc) the faster you will feel the energy come back into your body and a real smile to your face. This feeling became addidctive for me as I starting whistling again in the morning and singing silly songs in my head.

I started to eat a lot more, but I did not worry about the weight. It soon came off after I started exercising a lot more. I'm now flying on my bike!

I watched a lot of movies to keep me calm and entertained.

If you have outside support, get it! Many here advised me to confide in my wife (again after being off the stuff for 45 days). I did, and while she was disappointed that I started again, she was supportive and really helped a lot. So get that help.


I kept focusing on how crappy it was to get off my add dictions each hour of every day and conversely acknowledged how much better I was beginning to feel.

I acknowledged that I will NEVER take pain pills or drink again. Never. No "special occasions", no "moderation". NEVER.

I vowed to break the family cycle of raising children in an addictive environment. My parents, my brothers.

I wrote a lot of what I was feeling on this site. It really helped me to get it out.

I was amazed on how much guilt I carried with my dark secret and how much of a daily burden that really was. I kept reminding myself of this throughout the day.


I did not attend any meetings, but was very close until I got the help from home. If I feel that I can't control or begin to feel I'm losing my way, I may very attend some sort of meeting.

Lizrox, I wish you well and hope you find your path to clear living. Let the SR community help you. There is so much experience and help. And keep everyone posted on how your are doing. You can do this if you want to!

[Alera]

I was on a high dose of prescription pills and I did the taper. However, it was under the eye of the doctor AND I also had someone to hold my medication so I could not go into my taper and use.

I continue to work my program and attend meetings.