Counting the days?????

[Kahlia]

I am just wondering if it really is a good idea to COUNT the days that we are clean and sober....I personally DO NOT. To me, it sets up a way to use or drink, we count and it it ALWAYS there. I just am wanting some feedback and have been thinking about this for quite sometime...I go to meetings and some people that are "new" are very intimidated by old timers that have 20 years clean time.....they are like " I am lucky that I have 7 days HERE".....was at a meeting the other night and a girl , it is her turn to talk and she says " I DO NOT want to start by counting how many days I am clean, it keeps me always wanting to use"....I started thinking...she is right....I know that I have 6 year etc...and however many days, I know my clean date...isn't that enough? It is for me? .......Peace........Kahlia

[amymarie]

Kahlia,
I don't know if I actually count the days, but each night as I lay down, I say a quiet little "thank you" to my HP for one more day clean. I actually don't know the exact days of milestones, but for SR....Usually Vic or Blake reminds me!!!! I don't count my day til it is done however...once I am safely in bed....then I look at it as an accomplishment. And I need all the affirmation from myself that I can get.
Just my two cents....
Love
amymarie

[michski]

We live in a counting culture... It helps some to count the days but I agree, having just 7 days and listening to someone who constantly prefaces everything they say by "hello, my name is blah blah and I have 85 years, 3 months and 2 days by the grace of god" is EXASPERATING!

Do what you want sweetie, It's your life and your sobriety and there will be others out there that you'll help with your "I ain't countin" attitude!

[PaperDolls]

I say it's your sobriety. You do what ever you like and whatever makes you comfortable. I don't really count them per say -- i have a little counting timer thing on my computer. So, when I want to know the number I can look. If I don't want to look, I don't.

[angelgirl]

Hi Kahlia,

So great to see you around here.. Good question.. For me, this time around, I just haven't wanted to keep track of my "days". I do occasionally think about where I am at, but when I do, I have to really count.

For me it's important to celebrate the years.. I guess I also did remember the 6th months mark, because I remember my friend reminded me, and wanted to do something special.

Honestly though, I do really stick by the saying that whoever got up earliest is the person that has the most clean time for the day. Because the day is all that really matters. I really have never been into how long a person has, the only time that I really remember feeling "less than" another person who had a long time in recovery, was when I was not clean, and searching and begging for help, and that was just because I really wanted what they had..

So there's my really long answer to your short question, LOL... Sorry, I am a bit long winded.. I hope you got my answer through all of that. LOL.

It's great to have you back around ((( Kahlia))).. My prayers are with you..


Love,
Becky

[aloneagainor]

Originally Posted by angelgirl

Because the day is all that really matters.

That's so nicely stated. Right on. I could elaborate, at length, but...it's just right on.

[wishful]

I think counting the days can make things a little harsh on relapsers. If you're sober 100 days and relapse the 101st, you think "well, I threw that all away - I might as well get drunk today, too!" instead of remembering that you used to spend 98 out of every 100 days drunk!

I've also had trouble hitting goals (like 10 weeks - 70 days) and then thinking "gee, my next big goal is 100 days, I'll never make it ... maybe I can pull one good binge every 70 days? Maybe tonight?"
(Cue someone here to come back at me and say "one day at a time" - I know someone will...)

Counting days is like climbing Everest and counting each footstep - it may help you progress but it sure makes the journey seem longer!

All this aside, yes, I do count my days. Go figure - I never said I was sensible!

[woops]

Kahlia
I agree 100%!
The soberest person here is the person who got up earliest.

[tyler]

Day counting is a trigger for me. If I'm clean today, that's good enough for me.

[Peter]

I have heard hundreds of excuses for relapse....I suppose "counting days" is as good as the rest of them.

Addicts will use if they want to. I do not believe "counting days" has anything to do with that.

[Arura]

I find that with counting the days i can see what the triggers are,...! how likely it is for me to mess up at certain times. When its others and not me,! is good to begin to understand more about me...!
As i did'nt know myself until 3yrs ago...!......Still working on that one though, its FUN too,its not ALL bad.

It also helps me to see that im being infulenced by others, still...!
Yep still working on that one aswell...!

Good Luck Kahlia...x ........

[Chance]

Counting Days!

Oh my I count them everyday on the Don't Quit Bus and even though I just posted the day counts, I couldn't tell you what my day is. I do however know my sobriety date, and that wouldn't be too hard to figure out. I know I have over 60 days now but those days will not help me to make it through today. All any of us really have is the moment that we are in and now that moment has left....

[windysan]

I've been off dope for about 3.5 years. I drink beer every now and then so I'm not considered a sober tea totaler. I quit counting days. When I think about it I can estimate within a month. I don't go to meetings anymore so I don't have to keep track of days. Besides, because I have beers every now and then I'd have to pick up green chips even though I ain't an alkie.

[Alera]

I don't count the days because for me it puts the emphasis back on the drugs and not my life NOW. I don't even remember my sobriety date!

I know others who get strength at knowing how well they are doing, and have done. I am more of a live by the moment type of person.

I live for my future, not my past. That's just me though

[OutOfTheFog]

The only day I count is the day I went into treatment.......that is the MOST important day to me as it was the beginning of my sobriety and SANITY......also I look at it like it was the start of my new life and it was.....and still is as my life is constantly changing daily......for the good.......I do not count days so to speak as I think it is a "set-up" for DISASTER , you will find yourself using and remembering the "old days" or I am speaking for ME. I cannot go to an AA meeting, listen to old war stories, come out and feel GOOD, I can go and listen to people who need HELP versus the SAME thing over and OVER and guys trying to HIT on girls, YES, it does happen, folks.........dating service type people, I will not go back to THAT particular meeting, I will talk to the chairperson about it as I get disturbed by it. There are newcomers there and I saw a guy actually trying to ask a girl -a newcomer out???? It was truly ill, made me ill, too. As going back to counting days, why do it, I know I am sober, that is all I need to know as long as I stay sober, If I get into trouble, I WILL be on here reaching out for help and talking, talking, talking and calling my sponser......

I think my signature says it........

PEACE OUT,

Steve

[TiredMama]

I agree entirely with Paperdolls. I am lucky to get up and not use much less run to calender jotting down times and days. I do know that I am something like 3 or 4 maybe days clean but who's counting? *no pun intended*

[emmer]

I have mixed feelings about counting my clean days. Quite honestly? I need to count them, because I need keep track and raise my hand when i get to 30 days ect, because I need the attention and i need the support and the hug.

[NoelleR]

Today I have 7910 days.....but hey, who's counting.....lol

Truthfully, when I was new, I loved my little aluminum 'desire' chip, and I loved the fact that we also had 1 month, 2 month, and 3 month (all aluminum), and then came the heavy metal (the 9 month chip), and finally tada!! the one year.....followed by the two year, three year.....etc.....the only resentment I had was when a few years after I started on this road of happy destiny, they came up with an 18 month (heavy metal) chip, so time between one year and two didn't seem sooooo long....after all, the most time between chips that we had gone through had been three months...and a year was lookin' REALLY long.....WAAAAAAAAAY out there.....

.....but even way back then.....I didn't count the individual days per se....not like one day, day two, day three, but more like: okay, i got my desire chip....go to meeings daily, try to find a place to live, and get a job....there we go, I got one week, then two....and uh oh......I got my blood red one month (and a thousand nights) one month chip.....kewl......the hardest one was the one year....they have a Birthday night celebration, and all the celebrants get up at the podium to receive their chip, and a nice little certificate....and then say a few words with the group.....usually 200-400 people.....aaaaaaccccc kkkk.! I almost didn't graduate from high school because I couldn't give an oral book report....lol

Now, after all this %$^%&**, let me see if I can give some sort of answer....YES, I believe counting is good.....yes, it's nice to see folks in meetings with years of sobriety, but for some strange reason, I gotit, that they got years, but how do the folks get 30 days!!!!????....silly huh? ...and that's why I feel it's good to count, so you can show someone that these days are indeed possible..... (o:


NoelleR

P.S. I guess what I'm saying is that the counting isn't for you/me, but for the newcomers....something we can do for others..... (o:

[Gmoney]

I think keeping track of things (like time) helps keep me focused on my goal. When I first got clean, it was a great achievement to reach 30 days! After that, I set my sights on reaching the next cleantime milestone. With each achievement came more faith, trust and confidence in my ability to stay clean. After I got a year clean, I stopped counting days, weeks or months...I only consciously kept track of the years, but mind you...if asked, I could easily calculate the days because I never forgot my clean date.

I agree with Peter...counting days can easily be used as an excuse to use, especially is one is prone to looking at their glass as half empty instead of half full. I can also easily focus on all the negativity the surrounds me and past judgment on why others do what they do, instead of adopting a positive attitude and allowing people to be people.

What the heck? I keep track of time with almost everything in my life, why not the time I've been clean? I've paid on my mortgage for 21 years, do I stop paying because I haven't finished yet? Or do I view my situation as an accomplishment near completion? I remember the exact date I bought the house!! (LOL!!) I remember my hire date for my job (7/2/79). My moms birthday (8/25/28)....I could go on and on...but I'll stop.

I think attitude is the key.