drinking and cocaine

[anamaria]

I left this thread on the newcomers forum, but thought some advice from this forum may be helpful to my situation.

I am writing b/c I don't know what to do and need advice really bad. I am worried about my husband's drinking. I'm not really sure where to begin. He doesn't drink all the time...but within the past 6 months when he drinks, he REALLY drinks...especially when it's liquor. He started a new job about 6 months ago and it's definitely more responsiblity and demands. I can think of 4 occasions where he drank so much that his breathing was very labored was rambling about his childhood (not about his parents, about situations he got into) and he was very aggressive. One occasion he said he snuck out to his truck to drink, b/c if I saw him in the house, he knew I'd be upset. The last 2 times I caught him doing cocaine which I've never seen him do.
I am sick with worry and when I talk to him he says he doesn't have a problem, the cocaine is just recreational. His biggest excuse is that his drinking is not a problem b/c
1. He's never had a problem at work,
2. He's never hit me (or our kids)
3. He's never hurt anyone driving
4. etc,etc,etc.etc.

It's going to take something REALLY bad to make him realize his problem.
I'm worried about his health, how he changes when he uses.

I really need advice on what to do. He WON"T accept that he needs help (of course). Anyone, please give some advice...

[OttawaAddict]

well i was doing coke every minute i was awake and claiming it was recreational but i did know a few people who actually did use it recreationally.

But thats besides the point, heavy drinking and mixing coke into it is a recipe for disaster. Sadly, when you say he wont admit he needs help, thats generally the case and it does take some bad stuff happening before a person can wake up

best of luck to you and your family

[Peter]

Your husband's using does not sound "recreational" to me.You may both need to try and find some help.

[carolm]

Dear Anamaria,

It is possible that what you know of your husband's drinking and especially cocaine use only scratches the surface. I could be wrong, but you do have a serious and potentially dangerous situation on your hands. His aggression and sneaking are big red flags. I say this because I was once just like your husband.

I don't know how to advise you, but please take a look at the Naranon Forum. They should be able to help.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Carol

[BSPGirl]

How about trying it this way: "Hey I love you very much and cuz I love you so much I recently started to worry a bit about your behaviors" ? Start out positive (with the love thing) perhaps that works. Or not. In the end he can only help himself. Set some firm boundaries, tho.

Marte