new and seeking guidance

[oreowing]

hi. as i said, im new to this site, and im glad i found it. im a person that grew up fearing drugs, until i want to the hospital in 1998, was given a shot of demoral, and vicodin, and soma. that was the begining of a slow death for me, for im at the point in my life where i cant live without them. im seriously addicted to opiate pills and dont quit know the right route to take first. im here on my own free will, and im seeking help from the people who know best. the people in recovery. im a 8 to 13 pill a day taker everyday. please post with your experiances and what worked for you, for i am in desparate need of help and guidance. i wish everybody here with what ever there addiction is, finds the peace that i someday hope to find. please help.

[Nevyn]

Options... quit cold turkey, cut down slowly, or get into a detox program. Different things work for different people. Do you have support from family and friends? Have you looked into NA or any of the other programs available to addicts?

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by Nevyn

Options... quit cold turkey, cut down slowly, or get into a detox program. Different things work for different people. Do you have support from family and friends? Have you looked into NA or any of the other programs available to addicts?

thanks brad for the post, and no, i havnt started anything, except deciding that this is just not a road i want to take anymore. i did cut down from my normal 10 pills a day, to 5 today and hoping thats a good start. tomorrow ime gonna do 3 pills just to keep the withdrawl symptems a little less stressful. i do have a plan, just looking for insight. thanks again and ill keep everyone interested in my progress.

[windysan]

Keep doing what you are doing (tapering down). If it doesn't work and you find yourself up to 8-13 again then you might want to consider a medical detox then a 28 day rehab.

It is tough to kick opiates. Take some ibuprofen for the aches/headaches. Take some immodium to stop the diahrrea. Stay hydrated with gatorade/powerade if you are puking. Hot showers may help you.

When you feel like you can walk then try and walk for some exercise.

If you can't do it yourself please consider getting medical help with it.

Remember the horrible crap you are going through.

[oreowing]

thanks windysan thats great advice.

[Alera]

Stay hydrated with gatorade/powerade if you are puking.

And beware, I'm still addicted to gatorade

[amymarie]

Hi Oreowing!!!! Welcome to SR. You have already made such a HUGE step...
realizing you don't or cant live like that anymore is very important. I too am here because of opiates, and i too got my first taste of them from a hospital...
It can be done. I tapered....I had help, but it was successful.
It is such a freeing feeling to wake each day without my first thought being "how many pills do i have today" and "Oh my God, I am running low"!
They do not consume my thoughts anymore...

Stick around, find a way to get off of them (the previous posts are good ideas) and then the hard part; STAY OFF OF THEM!

I wish you the best and will keep you in my thoughts....

[DaddysGirl]

Hi Oreowing....I'm new too...to SR!! So far everyone has been so nice and supportive. I just needed that so much. I am still in early stages of my recovery and sometimes just need to chat with someone who understands what I'm going through.

Well guess what.....there are so many here that definitely understand what you are going through!!!! I know detox is tough!! I always went cold turkey because I did not have the willpower to spread my pills out! If I had them...I would take them!!!!

I was a 20-25/dayer of HC and 20-25/dayer of Soma. And I always had to have my Soma with my Lortab to get that extra kick. Sick, I know. Needless to say my w/d's sucked and I hurt so bad....my little 4'11"...100# body. Xan bars on top of that when I had them.

On the bright side....I have made many changes in my life and I am no longer a slave to my addiction.

You have made a powerful first step!!!!! Making the decision to quit!!!!

I wish you the best and if you ever need someone to talk to while your going through this most difficult time....just come here to SR. Everyone here is always willing to lend an ear. Also....I will be here and I WILL be checking on you from time to time...like an old mother hen....lol.

Just take one day at a time.....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Your Friend DG

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by DaddysGirl

Hi Oreowing....I'm new too...to SR!! So far everyone has been so nice and supportive. I just needed that so much. I am still in early stages of my recovery and sometimes just need to chat with someone who understands what I'm going through.

Well guess what.....there are so many here that definitely understand what you are going through!!!! I know detox is tough!! I always went cold turkey because I did not have the willpower to spread my pills out! If I had them...I would take them!!!!

I was a 20-25/dayer of HC and 20-25/dayer of Soma. And I always had to have my Soma with my Lortab to get that extra kick. Sick, I know. Needless to say my w/d's sucked and I hurt so bad....my little 4'11"...100# body. Xan bars on top of that when I had them.

On the bright side....I have made many changes in my life and I am no longer a slave to my addiction.

You have made a powerful first step!!!!! Making the decision to quit!!!!

I wish you the best and if you ever need someone to talk to while your going through this most difficult time....just come here to SR. Everyone here is always willing to lend an ear. Also....I will be here and I WILL be checking on you from time to time...like an old mother hen....lol.

Just take one day at a time.....YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Your Friend DG

dear dg. thanks so much for taking the time to encourage me, for it is what i need and will help in this long, difficult time i will have. i noticed you mentioned xany bars, for i to take a benzo on a regular basis (i take klonipin) and it really, really helps. i can honestly say that i dont take the benzo recreationally, for it was prescribed to me with paxil over 10 years ago for depression and anxiety. i stick to the script as far as these meds go, and they really do help me when i didnt have my drug of choice. its funny, you also mentioned the soma. my ex girlfriend did these on a regular basis (usually 5 or 6 at a time) and i would have to carry her to bed because she couldnt function or walk or talk. she scared me so much, for i always thought here heart was gonna stop. thanks again, and ill keep in touch. oreo

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by amymarie

Hi Oreowing!!!! Welcome to SR. You have already made such a HUGE step...
realizing you don't or cant live like that anymore is very important. I too am here because of opiates, and i too got my first taste of them from a hospital...
It can be done. I tapered....I had help, but it was successful.
It is such a freeing feeling to wake each day without my first thought being "how many pills do i have today" and "Oh my God, I am running low"!
They do not consume my thoughts anymore...

Stick around, find a way to get off of them (the previous posts are good ideas) and then the hard part; STAY OFF OF THEM!

I wish you the best and will keep you in my thoughts....

hi amymarie and thanks so much for posting. you speak facts and everything everybody says on these threads fit me to a tee. thats the first thing i also think of in my waking moments is how many can i take, and how many do i have left. jesus, if i put that much effort into anything, i could be president. it really is a sickness that im still in the unimaginable state that i can overcome this, but i have to before i start doing heroin, which i have had the opportunity to do, but always told myself this is one thing i cant do. if i did, i might as well shoot myself in the head now. thanks again, and ill keep you posted. oreo

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by Alera

And beware, I'm still addicted to gatorade

lol. in this world today, i think you can become addicted to anything. im starting to think im addicted to my computer. the numbers are similer. 8 to 13 pills a day. 8 to 10 hours a day on my computer. is this an addiction? if it is, ill gladly substitute it for my doc. oreo

[OttawaAddict]

Best of luck with your fight, im coming off a 16 month orgy of coke, morphine, percs, vics, valium... well actually, i would take anything in pill form. After the initial withdrawls, its still a tough road but it does get easier and for me its been about 40 days now, the physical fight is over, the mental fight continues but it gets easier each day

Good luck and stay strong

[oreowing]

hello to all my new friends at sr. wanted to check in today and let everyone know that im still here and things are so-so. im still in the weening down point of my chrisis, and so far its been tolerable. just wanted to thank everyone and let you know that im still here. oreo

[windysan]

Your liver thanks you.

If you are tapering then you have more guts than I did.

How many are you taking now? Is it just HC or are you taking Somas and Benzos too? If so, how many?

Be very careful with the benzos. Get off the painkillers and Soma FIRST. Take the klonipin as prescribed then you can work on SLOW TAPERING off that later. It's poison too but you don't need to kick benzos without knowing how to do it.

Be strong, stay hydrated.

Post your pill reduction progress here.

You ain't alone.



PS: Soma Comas....I remember them well. Ughh, glad that's over.

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by windysan

Your liver thanks you.

If you are tapering then you have more guts than I did.

How many are you taking now? Is it just HC or are you taking Somas and Benzos too? If so, how many?

Be very careful with the benzos. Get off the painkillers and Soma FIRST. Take the klonipin as prescribed then you can work on SLOW TAPERING off that later. It's poison too but you don't need to kick benzos without knowing how to do it.

Be strong, stay hydrated.

Post your pill reduction progress here.



PS: Soma Comas....I remember them well. Ughh, glad that's over.

hello windysan and thank you. i never had an issue with the soma, but i had a girlfriend who did (5 or 6 at a time) i think seeing her all f'd up was deterant enough for me. as far as the benzos go, i take them sparingly (less than prescribed) i have been on paxil for 10 years, and the benzos off and on the same amount of time and do not take them recreationally. i took 2 .05s before bed, and got a good nites sleep. my plan for the morning was to be up at least 1 hour before taking 1 vicodin.(trying to break my regular routine). that was four hours ago, and im not gonna bs you, its tough. especially knowing i have more, but not only do i want to, but i have to do this, for i know they're killing me slowly. thanks again, and ill keep you informed. hope this finds you well. oreo

[windysan]

Okay Oreo,

Sounds like you have the will. If you are a praying person then pray too. We know this is hard. Most of us have been through it more than once.

The important thing is to try and keep a cool head. Kicking opiates creates some panic along with the physical symptoms. I experienced some mind-blowing and evil hallucinations. Just remember that your "beast brain" (the primitive part of the brain) is going to beg for more. Don't give in to it. The beast brain is as dumb as a dog's brain. YOU WILL NOT DIE FROM THESE WITHDRAWALS. Yes, it will suck major ding dongs but you will not die from it.

Try to stay hydrated with some gatorade. If you have diahrrea then take some immodium.

You need to try and eat something. I know it sounds terrible but get some crackers or something with more substance(but bland) to put in your gut. If you absolutely can't keep anything down then try to talk to the doctor about getting some Phenargan suppositories....that'll cool your stomach off so you can eat something. Go buy(or have someone go buy) some Ensure shakes. These are like milkshakes for old people. There are lots of vitamins in there.

If you smoke, buy a carton or two.

If you are serious about this and you want to just go ahead and get it over with (the only way I could do it) then you'll need some help. If you don't want to do detox/rehab then call your local NA group. Maybe one of the opiate addicts who has kicked can help you through it. With cold turkey the worst is over in 3 days. Tapering takes longer, is still painful, but is not quite as intense.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Please keep us posted and every day post how many pills you ate the day before.

Many are here to help.

godspeed

namaste

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by windysan

Okay Oreo,

Sounds like you have the will. If you are a praying person then pray too. We know this is hard. Most of us have been through it more than once.

The important thing is to try and keep a cool head. Kicking opiates creates some panic along with the physical symptoms. I experienced some mind-blowing and evil hallucinations. Just remember that your "beast brain" (the primitive part of the brain) is going to beg for more. Don't give in to it. The beast brain is as dumb as a dog's brain. YOU WILL NOT DIE FROM THESE WITHDRAWALS. Yes, it will suck major ding dongs but you will not die from it.

Try to stay hydrated with some gatorade. If you have diahrrea then take some immodium.

You need to try and eat something. I know it sounds terrible but get some crackers or something with more substance(but bland) to put in your gut. If you absolutely can't keep anything down then try to talk to the doctor about getting some Phenargan suppositories....that'll cool your stomach off so you can eat something. Go buy(or have someone go buy) some Ensure shakes. These are like milkshakes for old people. There are lots of vitamins in there.

If you smoke, buy a carton or two.

If you are serious about this and you want to just go ahead and get it over with (the only way I could do it) then you'll need some help. If you don't want to do detox/rehab then call your local NA group. Maybe one of the opiate addicts who has kicked can help you through it. With cold turkey the worst is over in 3 days. Tapering takes longer, is still painful, but is not quite as intense.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Please keep us posted and every day post how many pills you ate the day before.

Many are here to help.

godspeed

namaste

thanks again windysan for your interest, for i hope that someday im where you are today and am able to help people as you do. had a pretty good day today (4 vics total). i dont know if this is the right way to accomplish this, but as i said, i want to and have to do this for me and only me. talk to ya tomorrow. oreo

[MagdaM]

opiates are killer. jsut wanted to say yo and welcome and listen to these folks cause they rock.

[freedomfromfear]

hi
i just want to get out my pom poms and give you a big cheer you have gone from 8-13 pills to only 4 since posting on this board that is awesome. f you can stick to this taper you will definetly get off the pills. then part 2 kicks in staying off not saying heck i will just have one thats when you will need support either from NA or some type of therapy. you might experience fatigue depression lack of joy or enthusiasm for your life. remember its not the truth just the pills and addiciton talking. exercise will help your bodies natural endorphin production and some new activiteis to occupy your mind. i am rooting for you

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by freedomfromfear

hi
i just want to get out my pom poms and give you a big cheer you have gone from 8-13 pills to only 4 since posting on this board that is awesome. f you can stick to this taper you will definetly get off the pills. then part 2 kicks in staying off not saying heck i will just have one thats when you will need support either from NA or some type of therapy. you might experience fatigue depression lack of joy or enthusiasm for your life. remember its not the truth just the pills and addiciton talking. exercise will help your bodies natural endorphin production and some new activiteis to occupy your mind. i am rooting for you

good morning and hello to freedomfromfear. thank you for posting. theres something that you said that really caught my eye and got me thinking. prior to the start of my addiction, i was experiancing these feelings, ie: lack of joy, enthusiasm, depression off and on, and then i found my drug of choice, and it made me feel like a million bucks. this is very scary to me, for i dont want to loose the happiness, the enthusiasm, the positive attitude towards life i feel when im on the pills. this sounds so sick, and i realize now that they are not the answer, however what is the answer to happiness? i want to rid myself of my sickness, and at the same time be happy. have the pills been masking ny true self all this time? where do i turn when im rid of my addiction? im very scared. am i different than most people here? any insight to this is greatly appriaciated. thank you oreo

[freedomfromfear]

what you describe as lack of joy and enthusiasm then the drug of choice giving you a senseof well being or "being right" that is what i have heard hundreds of times in meetings whether it was an alcoholic describing their first drink or a kid their first hit of pot. i too felt this when i was 17 and took my first drug of choice. That was over 20 years ago but that feeling memory will never leave me.
When you leave the pills behind you will most likely feel those original lost feelings which is why you need to IMMEDITELY get some local support meetings AA or NA or a great therapist. I hope I dont sound preachy i dont mean to but I dont want you to fall back again>
you need to get to the root of those feelings so you can rid yourself of them permanently and experience the joy and self-love and self-acceptance that you deserve.

[oreowing]

Originally Posted by freedomfromfear

what you describe as lack of joy and enthusiasm then the drug of choice giving you a senseof well being or "being right" that is what i have heard hundreds of times in meetings whether it was an alcoholic describing their first drink or a kid their first hit of pot. i too felt this when i was 17 and took my first drug of choice. That was over 20 years ago but that feeling memory will never leave me.
When you leave the pills behind you will most likely feel those original lost feelings which is why you need to IMMEDITELY get some local support meetings AA or NA or a great therapist. I hope I dont sound preachy i dont mean to but I dont want you to fall back again>
you need to get to the root of those feelings so you can rid yourself of them permanently and experience the joy and self-love and self-acceptance that you deserve.

if thats what it takes, thats what ill do, and thanks. its gonna be difficult getting to an n/a meeting, for im in a very small town where one isnt available. thats one reason i found this site. i really didnt want to sound like a baby, but thats the way i was, a person with no determination/ happyness. after thinking alot about it, this would be a main reason if i were to relapse to the way i was. i am determind, and think i need to find a councelor with my life struggles. thanks, and keep in touch everybody.

[freedomfromfear]

you can try aa also just substitute alcohol for pills also google SMART RECOVERY its supposed to be very helpful. keep us posted even if you fall back there is no judgement here only unconditional support

[oreowing]

well, another day gone by, and just got home from work. im wondering, has anyone ever used a sauna for rapid detox? i hear its a good, safe way of ridding your body of this poison. just wondering. thanks freedomfromfear, for i will check out smart recovery. oreo