I'm Here!!! FINally!!! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

DaddysGirl · 07-18-2006, 10:24 AM

Hey you guys

....I'm DG and I'm still in active addiction to opiates. I have been looking at the SR website for about two weeks now and finally got the guts to join and try to share and get support with some of the experiences I have been going through.

I have been trying to come down off about 20-25 HC's/day 20-25 Soma/day and between 5 - 10 Xan bars/day when I have them. Then I began to calculate how bad off I really was:

Lortab 10/650 @ 20-25/day = 200-250mg HC and 13,000-16,250mg
Tylenol

Soma 350 @ 20-25/day = 7,000-8,750mg Soma/day

Xanax bars 2mg - 10-20mg Xanax/day when in supply

I'm 4'11" and 100lbs. Looking at the above makes me think that I should have ODd a long time ago. I am now down to 3 HC 10/500/day. So I have made a lot of progress.

I did go 2 full months completely clean when I first started, but I quickly relapsed when something bad happened to me. The problem is that I need to learn to deal with life good or bad without turning to any pill.

I dont want this to run my life anymore. I dont want to have to plan my life around whether I have enough stash to make it through whatever I'm doing. Im tired of being paralyzed and isolated in my own little world because I have an addiction. I want to live a normal life and give my prescious son everything that he deserves.

However, I'm finding it hard to find the willpower to completely go clean. I hope that by me coming here I will find some friends with understanding and patience to help be through this most difficult time in my life. And just know that I will be there for you too.

Much Love, DG

amymarie · 07-18-2006, 10:28 AM

Hi DG and Welcome to SR!

I too had to come down off HC's and it was NOT easy...but it was alot easier than STAYING off of them...
They ran my life, they took over everything, and I too finally decided enough is enough. I have had some relapses, but I am in a 12 step program that shows me a new way to live- how to let go of the Amy that I was and build on an Amy that I can be...

I use this website alot. I use my meetings alot. I try to put as much into my recovery that I put into my using...not just using drugs either, but the using of people places and things to make me "ok" inside....

I wish you well on your journey!

DaddysGirl · 07-18-2006, 02:16 PM

Hey AmyMarie....OMG, you must have the willpower of a rock. I noticed that you are from Houston. Good place, but bad place for a HC addiction. I have a couple pain docs down there and my used to friends who do pills do also. Even the people I would occasionally get pills from to make it through to my next appt. (I guess dealers if you will). That place has made it so easy for a pillhead to get pills. I know we never had a problem. Pain doc on every corner practically and cheap.

Anyway, just knowing the temptation of living there in a place with easy access....I most definitely commend you! Keep up the good work...you should certainly feel good about yourself!!!!!

Hooray!

Much Love,

DG

amymarie · 07-18-2006, 02:19 PM

DG,
It isn't willpower for me...I personally can NOT do it on will power or knowledge etc...
When I try it my way, I always relapse...
But your kind words mean alot...so thank you.

Hope · 07-18-2006, 02:31 PM

Welcome DG! Glad that you are here. You are not alone!!

angelgirl · 07-18-2006, 03:13 PM

Welcome DG!!

It's great to have you here. There is a great deal of support here at SR..
I know posting that first thread can be a little scary, so good for you for doing it!!

Have you considered going to see a doctor to get some help? Or maybe a detox place? That amount of medication is very dangerous to come down from, especially with the benzo's you are or were taking. They stay in your body longer than other meds do, and can cause seizures. It's really best to have medical help when getting the junk out of your body.

As for keeping it out of your body, the best way I have found ( the only way for me) is by getting help through a program. There are many out there.
There is NA, AA, Smart Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, (and more) programs
out there that are wonderful, that help us stay clean. I also have a drug and alcohol counselor, and she has helped me alot too. There are also great treatment programs out there.

It's tough to get and stay clean alone. SR is a wonderful place, and there is alot of support, but face to face support is very, very important..

Hey, there are alot of forums here on SR.. Check them out if you have time

Prayers

Becky

DaddysGirl · 07-18-2006, 07:37 PM

Hey everyone! I'm sending A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has replied to my thread thus far. It means so much to me that I have support from other people who know what I'm going through. Thanx also for all the suggestions on how to stay clean. And even though the w/d's are hard....I think maybe staying clean may be even harder for me. I know that I have a long row to hoe to get there....(what can I say...I'm from Louisiana...lol).

Anyway...I'm really nervous because when I had my last relapse, my Dad threatened to get my x-husband to take my son away from me. The first time I've ever reached out for help and now he wants to intervene...it's just not fair. My son is all I have left in my life that I have to live for.....everything else I have lost. Please pray for me and my son so that we may remain a family.

Much Love

DG

**Alera** · 07-19-2006, 02:56 PM

You are in my prayers DG

Lollipop · 07-19-2006, 06:00 PM

Hiyas DG and welcome to SR!!!!

Congrats on starting on a new and better path!!!! I wish you all the best in your journey and I pray for you and your son!!!!! This is a wonderful place to start, with a wealth of advice and support!! Post and read away!!!!
Liss

07-18-2006, 10:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
DaddysGirl Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ruston, LA Posts: 16	I'm Here!!! FINally!!! Hey you guys ....I'm DG and I'm still in active addiction to opiates. I have been looking at the SR website for about two weeks now and finally got the guts to join and try to share and get support with some of the experiences I have been going through. I have been trying to come down off about 20-25 HC's/day 20-25 Soma/day and between 5 - 10 Xan bars/day when I have them. Then I began to calculate how bad off I really was: Lortab 10/650 @ 20-25/day = 200-250mg HC and 13,000-16,250mg Tylenol Soma 350 @ 20-25/day = 7,000-8,750mg Soma/day Xanax bars 2mg - 10-20mg Xanax/day when in supply I'm 4'11" and 100lbs. Looking at the above makes me think that I should have ODd a long time ago. I am now down to 3 HC 10/500/day. So I have made a lot of progress. I did go 2 full months completely clean when I first started, but I quickly relapsed when something bad happened to me. The problem is that I need to learn to deal with life good or bad without turning to any pill. I dont want this to run my life anymore. I dont want to have to plan my life around whether I have enough stash to make it through whatever I'm doing. Im tired of being paralyzed and isolated in my own little world because I have an addiction. I want to live a normal life and give my prescious son everything that he deserves. However, I'm finding it hard to find the willpower to completely go clean. I hope that by me coming here I will find some friends with understanding and patience to help be through this most difficult time in my life. And just know that I will be there for you too. Much Love, DG

07-18-2006, 10:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
amymarie No more hostages Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: houston Posts: 790	Hi DG and Welcome to SR! I too had to come down off HC's and it was NOT easy...but it was alot easier than STAYING off of them... They ran my life, they took over everything, and I too finally decided enough is enough. I have had some relapses, but I am in a 12 step program that shows me a new way to live- how to let go of the Amy that I was and build on an Amy that I can be... I use this website alot. I use my meetings alot. I try to put as much into my recovery that I put into my using...not just using drugs either, but the using of people places and things to make me "ok" inside.... I wish you well on your journey! __________________ recovery begins with a willingness to do whatever it takes... and for me that means WHATEVER it takes...

07-18-2006, 02:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
amymarie No more hostages Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: houston Posts: 790	DG, It isn't willpower for me...I personally can NOT do it on will power or knowledge etc... When I try it my way, I always relapse... But your kind words mean alot...so thank you. __________________ recovery begins with a willingness to do whatever it takes... and for me that means WHATEVER it takes...

07-18-2006, 03:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,194	Welcome DG!! It's great to have you here. There is a great deal of support here at SR.. I know posting that first thread can be a little scary, so good for you for doing it!! Have you considered going to see a doctor to get some help? Or maybe a detox place? That amount of medication is very dangerous to come down from, especially with the benzo's you are or were taking. They stay in your body longer than other meds do, and can cause seizures. It's really best to have medical help when getting the junk out of your body. As for keeping it out of your body, the best way I have found ( the only way for me) is by getting help through a program. There are many out there. There is NA, AA, Smart Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, (and more) programs out there that are wonderful, that help us stay clean. I also have a drug and alcohol counselor, and she has helped me alot too. There are also great treatment programs out there. It's tough to get and stay clean alone. SR is a wonderful place, and there is alot of support, but face to face support is very, very important.. Hey, there are alot of forums here on SR.. Check them out if you have time Prayers Becky __________________ â„¢ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

07-19-2006, 02:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
Alera SR's SMART Goth Mod Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: SoCal Posts: 1,892	You are in my prayers DG __________________ Copyright © 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 Alera The addiction will protect itself ... AT ALL COSTS.

07-18-2006, 02:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
DaddysGirl Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ruston, LA Posts: 16	Hey AmyMarie....OMG, you must have the willpower of a rock. I noticed that you are from Houston. Good place, but bad place for a HC addiction. I have a couple pain docs down there and my used to friends who do pills do also. Even the people I would occasionally get pills from to make it through to my next appt. (I guess dealers if you will). That place has made it so easy for a pillhead to get pills. I know we never had a problem. Pain doc on every corner practically and cheap. Anyway, just knowing the temptation of living there in a place with easy access....I most definitely commend you! Keep up the good work...you should certainly feel good about yourself!!!!! Hooray! Much Love, DG

07-18-2006, 02:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
Hope Getting Better All The Time Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Recovering Posts: 3,211	Welcome DG! Glad that you are here. You are not alone!!

07-18-2006, 07:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
DaddysGirl Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ruston, LA Posts: 16	Hey everyone! I'm sending A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has replied to my thread thus far. It means so much to me that I have support from other people who know what I'm going through. Thanx also for all the suggestions on how to stay clean. And even though the w/d's are hard....I think maybe staying clean may be even harder for me. I know that I have a long row to hoe to get there....(what can I say...I'm from Louisiana...lol). Anyway...I'm really nervous because when I had my last relapse, my Dad threatened to get my x-husband to take my son away from me. The first time I've ever reached out for help and now he wants to intervene...it's just not fair. My son is all I have left in my life that I have to live for.....everything else I have lost. Please pray for me and my son so that we may remain a family. Much Love DG

07-19-2006, 06:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
Lollipop Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 859	Hiyas DG and welcome to SR!!!! Congrats on starting on a new and better path!!!! I wish you all the best in your journey and I pray for you and your son!!!!! This is a wonderful place to start, with a wealth of advice and support!! Post and read away!!!! Liss

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