I'm ALIVE V2

[roadie58]

Welcome to the second volume of my I'm ALIVE thread. The first thread had over 20,000 views and lots of very cool posts from my friends here on SR.

In the next few days, we'll post a link back to the original thread so the text and experience is not lost. I know some new people actually read my entire history.

I hope this helps some others out there with their struggles with addictions and alcoholism.

I'm just out here trudging the happy road to serenity. And I'm grateful for the struggle.


Michael

[roadie58]

Hi gang,

This is the link to the last thread in my original I'm ALIVE thread where my journey to sobriety, relapses, and strength and hope are located.

That thread will be locked against further posts shortly by SR Administration in order to save server space.


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tml#post923834

Please continue to read my adventures and post your reactions and your own journeys here.

Michael aka Roadie

[roadie58]

Hello all. Looks like my old thread has been closed, but it's still available if you want to go back and read my adventures.

So how about a few new posts to start this one out right.

The weekend so far was pretty cool. I attended our Indianapolis Intergroup meeting this morning. It was the last time we were to meet at the old Union Hall downtown. They had been at this location for 14 years. Bill, a member, had held the key since he was a member of the union hall. He had stayed sober the entire time and made the coffee one Sunday every month for the 200 or so Intergroup members. Someone calculated that he'd made some hideous number of cups of coffee, 290,000 or so (just guessing). He was presented with a couple of thank you gifts and received a standing ovation from the meeting.

Now we move to the Indianapolis Colts meeting complex, that organization has graciously granted us the use of their top quality facility for our meetings! How cool is that!

Needless to say, service work has it's privledges!

Then went to very cool Sunday night meeting where I am rep and gave my report. Had a cool guy visiting from Denver who had a great one-liner. "My disease was trying to kill me and make it look like an accident". Think about that one.

Michael

[Hope]

That sounds like a really great experience Michael! That was pretty awesome!

Big hugs to you!

[debmar]

Hi Michael,
I love you posted that one-liner. On my husbands death certificate it stated cause of death, cocaine intoxication.......................then accidental death. Thanks for the truth in those words. Debbie

[roadie58]

I'm sorry Deb, I remember you posting when that happened. Didn't mean to stir up any sadness in you.

Thanks for posting here ladies. It's the start of a fresh week, and remember if you're having a bad day, you can pray and meditate and start your day over at ANY time.

My workshop sponsor is emphasizing the spiritual aspect of the program to me lately. Seems I'm doing the meetings, talking to sponsor (s), reading, workshop, service work, everything but the prayer.

So I'm now starting what I should have been doing all along, waking and quieting my crazy mind with some quiet reflection time. I light a relaxing eucalyptus/spearmint candle that I use only for this occasion (avail at bath and body works) read the 24 hour book for the day, then sit in the quiet for 5 minutes, allowing all thoughts to leave my mind. Then I say my prayers for the day. Seems to be helping.

Still trying to stay on my excersize program of 3-5 miles walking per day, but it rained us out most of last week. I should use my home gym on those days, but am just lazy, so some encouragement might help.

Today I get to go to bank to deposit some income I got over the weekend- over $3000, most will go to some back taxes, but the fear of financial insecurity is leaving me.

Everyone have a super day!

[roadie58]

I've been thinking of using a new avatar to usher in Vol II of I'm ALIVE. I'll ask for ideas from the readers.

What avatar would best express who I am to you?

And would you have a slogan for me?

Thanks, Michael

[Tiro]

I'm glad there is an "I'm alive" version 2.o thread. Never posted on the original but always enjoyed reading.

[roadie58]

Dear Deb,

Thanks for posting your 'cocaine nightmare' today. I feel a lot like your husband might have. Only I got really lucky and didn't die. I'll be thinking about you in my prayers tonight.

Michael

[Done-With-It]

Originally Posted by roadie58

I've been thinking of using a new avatar to usher in Vol II of I'm ALIVE. I'll ask for ideas from the readers.

What avatar would best express who I am to you?

And would you have a slogan for me?

Thanks, Michael

[roadie58]

That looks cool DWI.

I've had bad news after bad news last week and this. Can't even talk much about it. There was a problem with the title to the home I bought 2 years ago and the title company is out of business. SPent a day downtown trying to get it fixed, still have to hire Real Estate Attorney. I hate this.

Then thought I got good news, a friend sent a daughter to me for summer internship. She lasted two days. Called in this afternoon and said 'it wasn't what she was hoping for' WTF? So trying not to take that personally.

You all have a good night. THe Wellies are keeping me up with nightmares of planet devestation, homes bulldozed and Amish lying by the side of the road bleeding. Really horrible stuff, then the naughty sex dreams. I haven't had a regular nights sleep in like 3 days. Keep dozing at my desk and at stoplights. Hope I sleep tonight.

Two friends have gone out from our workshop, a girl buddy in AA twisted her neck and is now choking down VIcodins at an alarming rate. SUmmer is tough time for us. I'm in Indy and everyone is partying like mad in the roar before the Indy 500 race. Next weekend will be nearly unbearable here.

Michael

[Hope]

(((Michael)))

Miss you. Hope all is well.

Cheryl

[2dayzmuse]

Check in and let us know how you are doing? We're here for you.

[roadie58]

ok here, busy weekend. I've got to get my business back in gear. Been on MySpace a bit, mostly photographers and some AA friends in my circle- I cut out all the sluts and strippers LOL.

Trying to get healthy and taking my Wellies, but still Fat, Fat ,FAT.

Got to go to dinner at sponsor's home last night and met his lovely wife and three kids. He has a beautiful home that seems to be one of the rewards for living a right life. Not to be envious, but I want what he has, so I guess I chose my sponsor correctly. After kids went to bed, he, wife and I had a pretty open talk about the program and sponsorship. That was very nice.

So it's CHECK IN time- how are you all doing?

[tyler]

Haven't posted here in awhile, so figured I'd check in.

Things are going pretty well for me in general. Been clean off the pot for about 6 weeks, with two minor (smoked a bowl with a friend) slips. Progress not perfection, right?!!

I had a long conversation with my ex last night about a variety of things. It was a good talk. I am going back to visit in August and lay the groundwork for moving back sometime in the fall. I need to make some job contacts, get some idea what my expenses are going to run for rent/utilities/etc. things I havent' had to pay living at home with the folks. Haven't quite figured out how I'm going to make this work financially yet, but I guess I don't really have all of the numbers yet so no point in stressing about it right now.

Well, I'm off work today, so I need to go out and get some stuff done. Lawn needs mowing, shrubs need trimming and of course there is always wood that needs to be split. Hope everyone else is well. Take care all.

[singout]

hey tyler, six weeks is great! i like the way you frame your slip-ups. like, for myself, i have about 5.5 months, and i've had two slip-ups (similar to yours). when i slip up i start my sobriety counter over again, which can be disheartening, but when i think about it as, wow, i have gone 5.5 months and had only 2 slip ups, then it doesn't seem so bad. good luck to you tyler, i'm glad you're back on the boards.

[roadie58]

Hi Tyler! Good to see you back and thanks Singout for posting.

Well bad news gang, I think I posted about the house title problems last week that really stressed me out. I started getting this funny back pain and not sleeping well and I went to Doc yesterday and I've got SHINGLES! arrrggh, not really bad but didn't catch it in time to take the medicine. So hope it stays mild and there is no nerve damage from it.

Otherwise had dinner at sponsor's home the other night met his lovely wife and three kids. SPlendid home he contracted himself-so maybe some proof that the promises do come true if we work for them.

Did a photo shoot with an AA girl who models around our town, did a pretty good job and was able to be professional without drooling all over her or making stupid jokes or anything.

Still doing daily walks and trying to get more healthy. Note that I'm not afraid of what Docs have to say anymore. I was always SURE that I was DYING that I'd never go. Now I've been twice in a month. I'm going to get more medical care than my cats and spend more time at the Dr's than my car gets at the shop this year.

[Hope]

Hi Michael,

It is good that you have been taking care of yourself. Visiting Docs can be scary but once you get used to going, it doesn't seem so bad anymore.

I'll be praying for you on the shingles situation and hopefully everything will be better. It is good that you actually found out what it was instead of not knowing. You are in good hands with the Doc.

Sending big hugs to ya!! Good to see you back around here! You know that you were missed by many of your friends on here. We wanted our roadie back!

Cheryl

[roadie58]

Thanks Cheryl- but did I go somewhere? Maybe I haven't been posting as regular. I'll give as much as you guys do, how bout that?

Ok, I've been blowing time on MySpace.... guilty.

[michski]

Hey Roadie.. Glad to see your new chapter! You've come such a long way since your earlier posts... It's always a pleasure to "catch up" with you. Hope your body is feeling better.. I thought you might enjoy these books I'm reading. One of my sponsees loaned me these books connecting/comparing the 12 Step program of AA/NA and others with Buddism. I thought you and others might enjoy reading them.

Cool Water , Alcoholism, Mindfulness, and Ordinary Recovery
by William Alexander

One Breath at a Time, Buddism and the Twelve Steps by Kevin Griffin

These books are really connecting the dots for me. It's been a little over 4 years in which I haven't been killing myself with booze/drugs and I needed a little freshening up and new light on the process of recovering myself. I am finished with destroying myself with chemicals but my thought process continues to need a little reconstruction...

[roadie58]

cleaned half the back porch this am. Have a spare hot tub for sale. Gotta get the junk outa my house!

GOing walkies with a AA buddy soon- another 5 miles- then to clean the garage and other stuff!

I'm getting stuff done- this being sober is pretty cool.

[Done-With-It]

Yes, clean is good.... Glad to see you are doin good my friend!~

[roadie58]

Yes but Ms Done, you're not getting much use of your MySPace account.

wut up wit dat? (see even old guys can learn the lingo) LOL

Walked with friend who had stroke yesterday- another 5 miles. He goes to doctor today to find out what the damage is. You might say a little prayer for my friend Michael P. Thanks.

[roadie58]

Well, it wasn't a stroke. I have just found out over the past week that one of my closest friends, also named Michael, has a brain tumour. He is a few years younger than me and he has survived two heart attacks and cancer once already in his 11 years of sobriety. He is having an exploratory surgery next week to determine if there is anything that can be done for him. He is remarkably upbeat and shows no fear, spending what could be his last weeks helping others.

I know he would appreciate any prayers and positive energy we could sent out for him.

He will celebrate 11 years on July1 and has three major activities planned for the month of July- so will not allow the doctors to do anything that would possibly incapacitate him any further until the end of July. Going to a concert at Red Rocks, another show with me to make amends to another friend, and a local AA canoe/camping trip are very important to him.

Thank you,

Michael

[2dayzmuse]

Prayers going out to Michael P. & Michael. Your friend sounds very brave. What a cross he h