Dear Mary Jane

[DavidAames]

We must say goodbye
Been together a long time
Like six years of lows and highs
But you must go, or I’ll die
Not physically, I’ll still be alive
I’ll look fine from the outside
But inside my soul is aching
Midnight dark, cold daily
The sparks came with weekends
I weakened while waiting
To see this person that makes me
Keep believin I’m a better man
Without you around I am
I can’t stand you, hear the sound
The puke comin out of my mouth
Sick now wishin time was rewound
We tried things again and again
It just didn’t work out
You didn’t fill any voids
All you did was disappoint
You had me imprisoned
When I was just a boy
You destroyed many friendships
Made me leave many women
Not this one, I won’t give in
That thought is simply ridiculous
Even if forgiveness is slim
This is my personal intervention
She belongs in my system
To me, you are toxic
My vision was gone so often
No warnings got sent towards me
I could not see I should be stoppin
If I did I wouldn’t be mourning
You didn’t solve any problems
It was you that really caused them
Stealin the realest love I’ve gotten
Blonde hair, breasts are awesome
Smart, successful, beautiful face
Graded A plus, she’s the top cut filet
Perfect except for the words
She would not come say
I hope she will come save
The relationship we made
Best friends, lovers we became
The first to kiss her lips
Young and dumb, let her slip away
Then fate had her come back
My blast from the past
Immediately opposites attract
I want to be her last
For years we were intact
Took so many vacations
Started a wine glass compilation
Walkin, talkin, laughin in white snow
So that we might know
Deep secrets and desires spoke
Nothing I won’t expose
To make sure we can grow
I owe her everything, anything
Plenty of things I broke
I fixed them back to code
Finally got to know her family
This meant so much to me
Future in-laws hopefully
That’s what she told me
I trusted her, got lazy
Didn’t listen to subtle hints
It has me half-crazy
Gettin help for my addiction
Attendin narcotics anonymous
Saying thanks ain’t sufficient
I pray she’ll wait for me
At least remain friends formally
As I battle this disease forcibly
When in town exchange kids
I’m ready now to extinguish
The smoke found in my head
Put my depression to bed
So to me, you are dead


Thanks for reading. I sometimes find it easier to express myself via a song than just typing out paragraphs about my feelings.

[tad4871]

Nothing is more important than words from your heart, and as someone who is battling just to take the first step.....I hear ya'. I hope she gives you another chance :-)

[PlanoTexican]

Good for you. Anyway you choose to express yourself that you are tired of what your life has become is the correct way. Admission of your problem the hardest part.

-Bob

[DavidAames]

Thanks. I hope she takes me back too. But I am not so optimistic. The worst thing is I don't feel like she even wants to be friends anymore. Its making me relapse.