Why are we doing this???

[northbelle]

Yeah, sometimes I forget WHY I am doing this recovery thing. I haven't been to a meeting or around any recovering "live" folks for awhile. Have'nt made my way up that long hill to the evening meeting these days. Work is kickin my butt and sometimes I just HATE the whole buisness world. Some very mean people . I just feel stuck. Recovery has taken a back burner for me I think, and life has become kind of like truging throuhg the same dark tunnel some days. Being a single mom sucks sometimes too. Especially with a little guy. I can just see my son starting some to act a little thuggish , and the sad fact is ..he has two parents that are both struggling in recovery and he has watched his dad go in and out of jail...me too. I want to SHOW him there is a better way when I am not exactlly sure of what that way is MYSELF.

Man I wish I could RELAX...think I may have a touch of PMS....PMS and a broken fax machine today almost proved to be too damn much for me to take. The ONE saving grace in my recovery this time has been cutting off ALL my sources!! Cause it would be sooo easy right now.

[Buzz Kilowatt]

North,

Sorry you're having a bad hair day! Wish you were feeling better.

You are "doing this" for you. And for your child. It is sometimes very difficult but in the end rewarding. Don't lose sight of the prize - you are doing great.

Hang in there!

(((Northbelle)))

Buzz

[northbelle]

I may be DOING great..but I FEEL ****** doing it...what do you DO to bring yourself out of a funk????
And by the way ...my hair was wonderfully manageable today...lol...oops I laughed!!

[Buzz Kilowatt]

The thing that works best for me -- time permitting -- is to go swimming for 1/2 mile (30 minutes). Probably any aerobic exercise would do as well.

2. Go out for a walk and breathe some fresh air

3. Drive around and scream with the windows rolled up

4. Spend time with old friends

5. Do something with my kids to get my mind off stuff

6. Do something nice for someone else

7. Write a brief list of things I'm grateful for

Buzz

[Blake]

I would amend buzz's list to 4. spend time with friends that don't use.

Northbelle,

I have been going through some of the same feelings recently...and I just got off the phone with my sponsor about it. Basically my experience is that I need to remember why I got in recovery in the first place and I need to remember where I came from and how miserable I was, b/c I will be right back there if I get loaded. My sponsor suggested for me to start doing some of the things that I had stopped doing like call him, go to different meetings, hang out with recovering addicts at the coffee shop, work on my step work, etc... He said that it was up to me to take responsibility for my recovery and if I didn't like where I was at, I had to change.

Recovery is more than just not doing dope, it's about living AND ENJOYING life with out the use of drugs. The steps will help me change into a person that can do that on a regular basis.

Do you have a sponsor? Are you working Steps? I would suggest it strongly...it works.

[Blake]

also, life just sucks sometimes, but it passes and it gets good on the otherside and it can be appreciated more for knowing the bad.

Don't pick up, no matter what happens, and you get through these feelings.