I'm really having problems

[Maybe I can]

I'm really having problems..........I'm so depressed, I can't seem to accept life
I hate life. I'm tired of not being able to cope and messing up with drugs. I've been unemployed for 2 years. It's embarrasing, I feel so hopeless.I can't seem to sleep at night .I'm so sick and tired of it all.
I'm pissed that I was ever born.I just can't do this. Help

[rose petals]

hey maybe
whats up?
laura

[Maybe I can]

I'm just fed up .I'm not feeling to mentally healthy. I just feel like giving up. I can't cope with this world and myself.

[Done-With-It]

I feel like that often. So much stacked up on my shoulders sometimes I don't know what to do.
Are you seeing a therapist or doing meetings or anything like that?

My therapist was the only thing that helps with some of that stuff.

You can cope, Don't give up....

[BSPGirl]

Don't give up, happiness might be just around the corner.

[woops]

Maybe - you are doing just great - in spite of what you write. Your feelings are spot on for someone at your stage - and like all the stages you just have to get thro it!! Dead simple?! No - I know.
I bet you feel you have a "void" instead of a life? A huge space in time to be filled?
See if you can turn everything round - a sort of mental exercise - and put a positive spin on things.
If you keep telling yourself you are fed up etc - then you will be fed up.
If you keep telling yourself you are FINE - then you will be fine...........happy even?
Now - if we could physically contact one another thro our machines - I would have expected a large lump on my nose where you reached out and punched me?? LOL
Honestly - I can completely identify with these feelings of self hatred, boredom, badly slept, lack of interest etc etc etc.
Depression is something else and that is one you may perhaps which to discuss with your doctor. But I personally, wouldn't - not quite yet anyway. You may wish to do this later - but maybe things will have improved without resorting to any more pills?

Perhaps the crux of the matter really is boredom, lack of personal self esteem etc.
Without drugs you now find time heavy on your hands?
Do you think there is something - anything at all at this time - that you could do to bring some stimulation into your life. Starting with something modest - some sort of charity work maybe which might just give you back a feeling of self worth............ and you could work thro some projects until you felt capable to applying for a full time job?
I have no ideas what you do in real life - but for me - I HAD to find things to occupy me - and I have a part time job,(I have always had this - for the last 20 yrs) and now a very time consuming (and very challenging) non paying but very rewarding job. Really - you have to start thinking about facing life's challenges again - for only that way can you start to repair the damage done to your own self esteem?
You need to start spending time with real people - not isolating at home. I think that its in these exchanges with people that you once again start to become a functioning member of the human race & start to believe in yourself once more.
What do you think?
Dont give up , Maybe, there is such an exciting world out there - just waiting for you - but you have to make the first move...............doesnt need to be much - but a sign that you are interested and willing to take part...........
You will get such a blast at being a playing member of life again - I promise you of that.
Looking forward to hearing from you
woops
PS - eat well - very important for inner man - lots of fresh fruit and veg...............

[golf99]

Originally Posted by Maybe I can

I'm really having problems..........I'm so depressed, I can't seem to accept life
I hate life. I'm tired of not being able to cope and messing up with drugs. I've been unemployed for 2 years. It's embarrasing, I feel so hopeless.I can't seem to sleep at night .I'm so sick and tired of it all.
I'm pissed that I was ever born.I just can't do this. Help

Maybe,

You have but ONE life to live. Being depressed and embarrased is NO way to be. OK, so you keep messing up with drugs..well, you know that, now change it. As far as not working...well, you know that, now change it. Sounds too easy, right? JUST DO IT. Remember, time is going to pass regardless of what you do...why not do the things you want to. When all seems lost just remember, you control yourself and what becomes of you..no one else. The difficulty in making these positive changes is so worth it. As you change your outlook on life will change.

I had 4 plus years of opium and benzo addiction. I went from an out-going, successful former professional athlete to a lazy bum that sat on the sofa for 19 hours a day. I blew through 100,000 us dollars, destroyed the trust between myself and my wife of 23 years, missed out on one of my children's college visits, missed my grandmother's funeral..the list go's on and on. My point is that I was probably the most depressed person on the east coast and yet I turned my life around. If I hadn't I'd still be on the sofa without a family.

Dig deep...it can be done...it has been done...join the living.


My thoughts are with you,


Golf

[Buzz Kilowatt]

If you are feeling down withdrawal makes it seem 10X worse.

I felt like you did. It was my brain's reaction to the withdrawal.

I called my doctor about the depression and the nurse said it would get better in 2 weeks. She was right. So hang in there . . . it does get better.

Depression is often anger turned inward. Meditation may help you to understand the root of it.

Start a gratitude journal. Write 7 things each day that you are greatful for. It will make a difference in about a month!

Buzz

[Buzz Kilowatt]

Mars,

Color me skeptical.

[Blake]

Originally Posted by Buzz Kilowatt

Mars,

Color me skeptical.

Me too......you kinda sounding like a used car salesman, mars...

[roadie58]

I finally took the suggestion to get some outside help and it helped me tremendously. My psych Dr. explained to me what Cocaine had done to my brain chemistry and gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant that has made life much more bearable, almost HAPPY again.

Don't be afraid to try this stuff out. It will not make a zombie out of you. It can give you back your life and pleasure system.

There is a thread here on Mental Health that covers such topics well.

Michael

[Peter]

I still get depressed even after years in recovery.

When I used drugs I always felt that sadness was a negative emotion that meant something was wrong with me.

Sadness is a part of the emotional spectrum.

I can deal with sadness and depression when I understand that life goes on and that no matter what happens I still want to be a part of it.

[Done-With-It]

How is today going for you? Feeling any better?

[tyler]

Hope you are still around. I have been through what you are going through, as many here have. You have to get the chemicals out of you system before you can really know how you feel. I was on anti-depressants for years and wondered why they never worked for me. Well it was because I kept drinking and smoking pot. Once I quit that stuff, my meds really kicked in for me. I have a very strong history of depresssion in my family, both sides. You really can't judge how you feel until you get the drugs out of your system, and that takes time. Hang in there and give it time, I know that is hard, but if you can just take it a day or hour or minute at a time it might help. Keep in touch and take care.

[snowwhite]

I am there with you, sweetheart! I think we all are! This is ALL too overwhelming...the stupidity we feel from being unable to cope on our own and what seems to be an unending lack of control and then when we try so hard to stop it seems even worse. I pray for you and for all of us! They say that life WILL get better, but like you, I am waiting for that day myself! It's so terribly hard and lonely, at that!

[paramedic9742]

I am sorry you feel so bad. Withdrawls are still hard for me but everyday it is getting a little bit better. Just hang in there. HUGS

[Maybe I can]

Yup I'm still here...thank-you for your kindness everyone. I'm doing a bit better now.
I was going for a cat scan but missed my appt the other day...GOOD THING.
Some lunatic came into the hospital kicking windows and walls then decided to go over to an old lady who had volintered @ the gift shop for many many years and kicked her for no reason and killed her. It happened at exactly the same time that I would have been walking thru the door if I had remembered my appt. I wished I was there in a way maybe I could have helped. She was only a few feet away from the emergency ward but her injurys were too extensive. She was everyones grandma.
What a shame! The ******* who did this is behind bars and will probably go to jail for the rest of his life. It was sooo senseless.

[paramedic9742]

How are you today? I hope u are feeling better.

[Maybe I can]

I felt better today ...until about two hours ago,now I'm just waiting for 7:15 pm to roll
around so I can go to N.A.
I like going there especially when I having problems with withdrawl, it takes my mind off it. I'm not drugging myself up anymore and my head is much clearer. How are you doing paramedic ??? Withdrawls are such a bummer aren't they ?

[paramedic9742]

Thanks for asking maybe. I am doing ok i guess. I wish i had about 1 oz of energy. I am still having withdrawl. I will be so glad when i have a totally normal day. I am hoping after the 3 month mark it gets better. I hope........