The last thing i need

[Timebuster]

The last thing I need is a another person to say to me “ the feeling will go away, give time-time, over time the feeling do go away “. From my experience when I uses to get the compulsive obsession to get high. There was an underline problem away from the drug addiction itself. The only reason my drug of choice enter my mind was because that was the only way I knew to num or escape. In the beginning every time I used, I call it the pleasurable highs. I would num and escape. What was I numbing and escaping from at the beginning when it pleasurable to get high. Was it an underline issue / issues. I kept on numbing and escaping. Until it became an addiction. So now I have two problems.

Of course having an underline problem dose not have the same consequences that addiction has. Once I abuse drugs / alcohol to the point were I am seeking help the only thing in my mind is how to stop obsessing and abusing drugs / alcohol. So when I here others say “ the feeling will go away, give time-time, over time the feeling do go away “. I go crazy. The only time my obsession went away is when I work on the underline issue that was coursing me to obsess and abuse drugs or alcohol. Or I will continue obsessing.

I been going NA meetings for two years now. How so many people have gone back out is unbelievable. It hurts me so much inside. It kills me when the answer are right there in those steps. I cant tell some one who is suffering from this heinous disease that the feeling you are going through will go away and you will never have an obsession again. Because I would be lying to you. Yes its true the obsession might go away for that moment. What I will tell you if you work those steps get a sponsor and go to any length then you will understand were the obsession is coming from. But not until we get to the core of our underline issue / issues that we will start to feel some release from the obsession to use.

You might have put the gun away, but did you take out the bullets?

Thanks for letting me share.

Sorry am a little pissed off, there dropping like flies in my home group.

Peace and Love
Ivan

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by Timebuster

You might have put the gun away, but did you take out the bullets?

I hear what you are saying, Ivan. For me, doing the work of the 12 steps is where the change - from the inside out - happens. Maybe some can put the drugs down once and never look back, but I sure couldn't. It took a whole lotta support and work on my part.

Thanks for the post!

[Peter]

I too abused drugs because of underlying issues and I did understand that it was only by dealing with those issues that my desire to use would go away.

However I could not respnd to my issues constructively when I was high so I had to find a way to resist those urges to use long enough in order to get sober.

I did it by meeting attendance. Calling friends in the programme. Keeping a journal. Reading books about addiction, Reading spiritual books.Avoiding PPT.Preapiring myself emotinally for when the cravings came.

Eventually those desires did begin to lessen and became far between but it was only when I started to "Work the Steps" that I felt the heavy stones of my addiction begin to shift.Only then did I understand for the very first time in my life that I would never abuse drugs again.

Keep focused. Let the ones who are dropping like flies serve to remind you of the powerful nature of the beast you must battle ....and that unlike them you will be victorious.