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03-31-2006, 07:51 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Love and Best Wishes!!!!!  Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: USA
Posts: 206
|  Needed to post, my biggest LOSS ever, PLEASE READ
Well, I haven't posted in so long. This has all been so hard for me...everything! But I wanted to let you all know that I had to bury my precious angel daughter today and this is such a struggle and loss for me. I received so much support from here before and needed to write about this. She looked like Sleeping Beauty in her coffin. I can't think of any worse pain that I've ever been through. She has had difficulties throughout her life, injured from vaccines from almost the start of her life, and I have always covered the pain with opiates, the wrong outlet, of course, but I will always know that I never left her and gave her all the love I could. She will be greatly missed, and I will still struggle every day with my demons. But I needed to express my sorrow to you all because we ALL know pain, but this week I've experienced the worst pain of my life!! I feel so empty and alone, but I know my daughter will never suffer again. She was my life, my heart. It's so easy to want to backslide as I have done so many times because this has been never ending. But I wanted to thank you for all of your support and am sorry I haven't been around so long, but I hope to be back more often. I feel so alone right now. Thanks for reading this...our lives are not easy, but this added only makes it harder and I just would give up right now if it weren't for my little toddler. Thank God for her. She will be my biggest source of strength. I feel like I am in a nightmare right now and can't get out of it. Thanks for all your support and love. Sometimes we are the only ones who understand why we got in this crazy predicament to begin. I know why I did. I only wish I could see my "baby" again. I just am in so much pain right now and can't even express how I feel, but thought that coming back here would be therapeutic for me. Thanks for reading this. I need all the love and support I can get right now. Love to you all!
__________________ Love and Best Wishes!!!! |
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03-31-2006, 08:08 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Moderator  Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,552
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Snowwhite, oh dear. I wish there was something I could say. That you could even find the strength to come here and type it out is amazing to me. There are few pains in life greater than a parent having to bury a child. Your grief must be tremendous. Please accept what little support I can offer and know that your pain has touched me tonight. |
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03-31-2006, 08:25 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,747
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Snowwhite - I am so very sorry to hear of the devastation you are going through with the loss of your daughter. There is no loss like the loss of a child. Please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________ Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky. ~Ojibwe saying~ |
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03-31-2006, 09:25 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| SR's SMART Goth Mod  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,892
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Snow, I am so very sorry to read of your loss. A parent should never have to see a child buried. Just reading this, I want to give you my shoulder to cry on. Know we are here to listen to you, day or night.
__________________ Copyright 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 Alera The addiction will protect itself ... AT ALL COSTS.  |
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03-31-2006, 09:32 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member  |
I am so tremendously sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Only so you know I can sort of understand...I lost my son 6 yrs ago. Please be very gentle with yourself and coming here will help you with hands to hold and many cyber hugs. Grief is a process and it cannot be rushed, but this I can promise you time does bring healing. Tena
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters  |
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03-31-2006, 09:42 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,596
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(...) There are no words... only prayers of comfort and love.
__________________ “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Marianne Williamson  |
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04-01-2006, 01:48 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| InAButtonKindOfWay. Seriously?  |
((((SNOWWHITE)))) I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________  Hollywood RockStar outta control Need to rewind real slow Alwys Runin Time to take control Oh yeah ...  |
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04-01-2006, 03:28 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| You're never alone!!  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,194
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Snow white,, Just know that we will always be here for you, no matter what. I am so terribly sorry for your loss, and also for your pain. Know that you are being held in many of our prayers.. We care. Prayers,, Becky
__________________  ™Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.  |
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04-01-2006, 03:48 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,666
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((((((((((((Snow White))))))))))))) Thoughts and prayers going out to you, bless you my dear. (((((((((((((Warm, Comforting Hugs))))))))))))))))
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~  |
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04-01-2006, 05:21 AM
| #14 (permalink) |
| the girl can't help it  |
(((snowwhite)))) I am very sorry to learn of your loss. I am sure that there is no greater pain than to loose a child. I am glad you came here to share and I do hope that you will keep posting cause I know it will help you move thru your grief. My prayers will go out for you and your family at this time of mourning.
__________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
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04-01-2006, 07:36 AM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Venice, Florida
Posts: 423
|  Snowwhite, I wish I could have the just right words to help you feel no more pain, but I don't and all I can say is that you need to look to your Higher Power for the peace and serenity you need to get through. And....after that you Sober Recovery Family is here if you need to vent, cry or remember your precious daughter. My prayers are with you. 
__________________ Dawn |
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04-01-2006, 07:49 AM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Charlene  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 40
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I beleive that laughter is the only cure for grief, and that love is stronger than death.
__________________ I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just be alive is a g rand thing. Agatha Christie |
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04-01-2006, 07:59 AM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Love and Best Wishes!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: USA
Posts: 206
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I don't even know what to say as I sit here crying. All the love and outpour just makes my heart warm. I will be back in touch with each and every one of you! I am just so sad right now. I feel so empty.
__________________ Love and Best Wishes!!!! |
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04-01-2006, 03:11 PM
| #19 (permalink) |
| ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,666
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(((((((((((snow white)))))))))))) HUge hugs and sincerest prayers coming your way.............
__________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~ |
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04-01-2006, 07:07 PM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Member |
We in cyber space are sitting with you. You are not alone although I understand that this acute shock and grief is sitting within you and is something that none of us can bear part of for you. We can try our best to be there for you. I remember a counselor telling me that the day would come when it would not be the first thing we think of when we wake up....I found that to be a very compassionate and understanding statement. And it is true. But for now, it is too soon...it takes time. You will be in shock for a time, the blow is way too big to take in all at once. Tena
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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04-01-2006, 07:17 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: reno,nv
Posts: 1
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Im very sorry to hear about your loss,truely.Ijust signed up today and I have one day sober and this one day was very hard. Iwas scrolling through and saw the unhappy face and clicked on.My name is James,I will pray for you and again Im sorry
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04-01-2006, 08:53 PM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Day by day....  |
You are in my prayers. As I look at the faces of my two beautiful kids I cannot even begin to truly understand how you must feel right now. As Alrea already said - no parent should ever have to bury a child. May you somehow find comfort and peace in the future - they say that time heals. Until then we will hold you close in our thought and prayers.
__________________ Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results!  |
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04-01-2006, 11:42 PM
| #24 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,072
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Snow White, I'm so very sorry to hear that you have lost your beloved daughter. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. And if I knew what to do to make it all go away, I would do it for you in a flash. Please try to take care of yourself in this time of desperate grief and loss. Dwell on the beautiful memories that you have of her and let her rest in the arms of the Lord. Again, I am so sorry. ((((((((((Caring Hugs))))))))))))
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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04-01-2006, 11:50 PM
| #25 (permalink) |
| On a tear  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,164
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Snow.... We lost our baby daughter on April 3, 1989. I remember leaving her at the cemetary, and the horrible days that followed. What I can tell you is that for me, grief was like a lightning bolt... jagged and sharp. I would go along, getting a little better each day, then suddenly plunge back down - nearly to the place where I started. Then I would begin the slow climb back out and up only to be tossed back down again... only not so far this time. |
