I Did It - WITH SUBOXONE

[whathaveidone]

Hi everyone,

I have made it! "Beginagain" told me about suboxone treatment and finally I went in yesterday morning for induction. I have never felt better in my entire life.

All that depression that I've lived with all my life, which is what drove me to self medicate with opiates, IS GONE.

I have no withdrawal, no cravings for pills whatsoever, and NO DEPRESSION.

I feel so good I cannot even put it into words.

No more living in fear of not being able to get out of bed unless I had pills. All of that hell is over.

I realize it's only been 1 day and a half, but every second I'm awake, I literally cannot believe I feel so ALIVE and HAPPY without having to take 20 percocets to feel it. And this isn't a "high". Yes, I guess I sort of miss that, but not enough to let it get in the way of the enjoyment I feel now.

My long road to HELL is over and I'm on my way BACK.

Just wanted to share. I feel so ALIVE. Thank God for SUBOXONE!!!!!

[golf99]

Glad to hear from you, I was wondering how things were.

Sounds like a nice foundation has been laid for your recovery, make sure and build on it.

Stay strong and well.

Best,
Golf

[Done-With-It]

Hey there!

CONGRATULATIONS! THAT IS AWESOME!

[whathaveidone]

I believe it's a very good thing. I don't feel high. I don't feel sad. I feel like I can FUNCTION. I could not do that if I quit c/t.
If I did, I would feel horrible, but then I would be physically better. Yes. But the depression just would be there. Lurking. And killing me. Day by day, it will kill me. Until I had to use again just to breathe. So I am happy. I am well.
Thanks for everyone's support. I was so bad off I couldn't even post anymore. I could not rid myself of the depression. It was unbearable.

[golf99]

Originally Posted by whathaveidone

I believe it's a very good thing. I don't feel high. I don't feel sad. I feel like I can FUNCTION. I could not do that if I quit c/t.
If I did, I would feel horrible, but then I would be physically better. Yes. But the depression just would be there. Lurking. And killing me. Day by day, it will kill me. Until I had to use again just to breathe. So I am happy. I am well.
Thanks for everyone's support. I was so bad off I couldn't even post anymore. I could not rid myself of the depression. It was unbearable.

Very happy you are on sub.

[heyhaze]

Whthavidone -
Could you tell me more about this suboxone? I just got clean from pain meds. and am in treatment, but my husband is due to get off of his morphine patch and oxies that he is taking and I am concerned about his withdrawls.
I have been clean now sense March 14th. It is so much harder than getting off the booze. I am still dealing with anxiousness and cravings. It is horrible. I am depressed a lot and dont know what to do to replace the use. I have been working out, going to treatment, meetings. I havn't tried an NA before, I was always so use to AA, but now my addiction is different, so I quess that will be my next step. I know I need to slow down a little and quit expecting immediate grativication. It will come in Gods time and I need to be willing to feel uncomfortable for now untill it all evens out. But this is all new to me, so if any of you that have some recovery from pills, I could sure use some advice. I want to be happy about this recovery of mine. I know I don't miss the hell hole I just crawled out of, so that in alone is some peace of mind.
Vickie

[angelgirl]

Hey there..

Yes, the suboxone is an amazing tool really when you see how it helps our depression isn't it?

I was off opiates last April, totally clean, and a month later, the depression was just to much for me to take. I was going to meetings, and groups, and seeing a counselor, but nothing seemed to be able to take that terrible depression from me. That is when my counselor finally said, maybe you need to check into methadone or sub. I didn't want methadone, and finally through a miracle, got a doctor that wasn't taking new patients,, to take me on for sub.

It doesn't help my anxiety, that I am learning new tools to deal with, and I do not want to be on sub forever. But my recovery is a lot firmer than it was almost a year ago. Now I am thinking of picking a date for going off the sub.. But it has really helped me greatly, I really don't think I would have made it this far without it. I wasn't able to for years before the sub. It has really given me a new beginning. It will you also.

Please just know that sub alone will not solve all of our issues. I have been involved in SO much since last year when I started the sub. I have attended IOP (intensive outpatient treatment), bipolar group, dual diagnosis, celebrate recovery (12 step meetings, plus a group meeting) MUCH therapy, and just have had a lot of time talking to people here on SR, and others recovering outside of SR. maybe you aren't bipolar or whatever, but the point being, I have had a lot of therapy, and help, groups, support since starting sub. I do know people that have actually relapsed while on sub, I have not at all, but I do credit all of the work I have done, beyond the sub. I also have a very strong faith in god.

I am not trying to sound like I am any better than anyone, lord knows I am not. No way. ( I struggle with self esteem..), but I just wanted to tell you my experience, and what has worked for me. I also know what has not worked.. But we all know that, we wont' go there, we are past that..

Hang in there, I am very happy for you!! Yeah-Haw!!!
Prayers to you,,
Becky

[BeginAgain]

Colleen you know how I feel about what has happened with you from our correspondence on the other site - but just a reminder for you here :bun5

I know EXACTLY how you feel of course. I am almost 4 weeks into treatment. I do agree with the other advice that you have heard here about working on the root of the problems and the underlying issues that are lurking beneath the surface. You may find that in a few days after the pink cloud period has passed that you start to examine your feelings, motives, past and future. Not that the depression comes back - it doesn't so please don't misunderstand that - I still feel wonderful. It's just that my mind is so clear and I am functioning so well now that I can really "feel" everything I've been medicating away for so long. All the problems are still there.

I go to meetings (not as often as I'd like but with 2 children, a full time career, lots of work related travel, church, etc..) I make it as often as humanly possible. I also go to therapy - every week. In fact I have a session in the morning because I will be out of town next week for a couple of days and my therapist decided we would meet up on Saturday. I am looking forward to talking with her tomorrow because I am about to boil over with all these feelings, thoughts and uncertainties.

All the sudden I am just not sure about things. Like my marriage - that is a big one. There are so many things that just don't go along with who I am and what I want out of this relationship and so much water under the bridge. It feels impossible but I hope to put that into perspective tomorrow. It feels like I am changing and growing so fast right now and evrything else is staying exactly the same. I look around me and think - oh yes I remember now how much I hated this or that!!!

I don't know - now I'm just rambling. Things feel sort of jumbled up. But the beauty in this right now is that I don't feel like using, I don't feel like numbing it, I don't feel like running away - I feel healthy enough to face it head on no matter what comes. I feel strong enought o talk, communicate, analyze, share and figure out what the next right thing is. The old me would have popped a few pills to take the edge off my feelings so I could just ignore the issue and go on in oblivion. Am I making any sense?

My whole point is - I am really glad you told your family and husband and I think that is a huge step that will be terribly beneficial for you in the end. Maybe consider some therapy or a support group now to help with the rest of it.

Colleen I am sincerely so very glad that you are doing so well. I am serious when I say that it warms my heart to hear the difference in you from just a few days ago. I truly get this warm feeling in my gut when I think about it. I just know how miserable you were from direct experience - and I know where you are right now. I was so amazed the day after my induction that I could not get over how terrific I felt. The depression was completely gone in a way that I've never known.

Keep up the good work!!!!! Once again congratulations!! Enjoy!

[BeginAgain]

Heyhaze - check out www.naabt.org - you will find a wealth of information about Sub there in the "Education" section. There is also a physician locator to find a doctor in your area who is licensed to prescribe it. And, there is a message board devoted to Sub where people openly share their experience, reach out for help, debate a bit of course and help one another when needed. I think you will find more there to answer your questions than anything we could ever type here. We are happy to answer your questions and help out in any way - but that web site is probably the best place to start your research.

[Alera]

I can really see the difference in your mood since your last posts, you sound great. I am so glad to hear the sub is working for you.