please help

[alpaca]

I am a 15 year old kid who has been diagnosed with bi-polar disease, depression, adhd, obsessive compulsive disorder and have "psychotic tendancies." everyone in my family except 1 brother have also been diagnosed with similar things and all have been diagnosed with depression. I am currently being "treated" for all those things but I have no faith in my docor because whenever I tell him a pill he perscribed ins't helping he just says to double it. I am currently taking lamictal and lithium for my depression, a while ago I told him lamictal wasn't working and he just said double it. I told him it still wasn't working and he kept me on it and added lithium. that wasn't working so he told me to double it, and has never even had my lithium levels tested, which is a MUST with lithium. there are alot of other things he has done that I feel were stupid. I have been expelled from two different schools and currently go to a "alternative school" which is basically where all the druggies and foster kids and kids with behavior problems go, I have no friends there. anyways, the way I handle this is by taking a pill called ambien which gets you high, I have done this so much that I have gotten really used to it and when I am not high I am completely depressed, but when I am high I **** people off and do dangerous things. I have overdosed twice DURING school and have assaulted the teachers, sexually harassed girls, and started fights with gang members and other terrible things. anyways I am just wondering what you guys think I should do.

[Alera]

HI, I did not start abusing until I was 19 so I don't have much advice except stick around, someone will be here soon to answer your questions.

Welcome to SR

[gypsyrose]

Getting another doctor would be a good start. You should have someone who will take the time to help you understand your neurological profile. All those labels you've been given will take more than pills to overcome but you sound bright and your intelligence will help you.

I remember my life at 15 feeling out of my control but there are choices you can make every day no matter how old you are and where you are... or what diagnoses you have. Practice thinking positive... it does take practice. What can you do today to make this day a day well spent? How can you help make the day better for another person today? What can you learn that will make life more interesting? School might fool you into thinking otherwise but people and science and history are so facinating when you learn more about them. Is there something you can remember to be grateful for right now? I know at 15 it's hard to see all the options you have but they are there. And life does get better when you start making choices about what you want to do and who you want to be.

Good for you for finding this place to ask for support. I wish I could give you more concrete suggestions. Keep finding people and places to ask for support in your life. You've been given some real challenges and should have help meeting them. If the labels you've been given are even half accurate then you are someone who thinks differently... as did all of the great people in the history of the world. Good luck to you.

[SaTiT]

Questions ....

Do you live under strick rules ?
Can you express yourself to your parents or any adults in your life ?
Can you dis agree ?
Are you allow to express your fustrations.
Are you allow to feel your anger ?
Have you been taught or giving tools in how to release your anger in a posistive way?

When you get in trouble, you do just wish your parents
would just hold you in stead of punishing you ?

Do you feel like no one really give's a rats arss oneway or
the other . So.....whats the big deal with all this chaos
anyways.

Do you wish your parents just love you for who you are ?
instead of all these rules, demands, expectations.

Do you ever get praise for anything that you do or
every mistake you've ever made was pionted out to you.

Do you even know what you're feeling half of the time
or it just hurts somehow, so you rather not feel it or
deal with it.

Drugs won't change the world, it only make matter worst for you
as you know.

I don't have answers, But I've been there.
And i do care even if don't know you.

Here some suggestions
ala-teen
drugs counselor
recovery treatment

[Buzz Kilowatt]

Alpaca,

I remember being 15, depressed, and OCD. I also was sent away to school against my will for 4 years. At prep school there were a lot of kids with issues, from broken homes, etc. along with the children of millionaires who went to France on spring break. I took Greyhound home . . . .

Except for a little addiction problem my life has turned out fine.

I'm curious . . . how many people were involved in putting these labels on you? Was it one doc or several? Counselors or psychiatrists?

The medications you are taking are very powerful and need to be titrated, i.e. adjusted to your body's chemistry.

Just because someone has M.D. after their name it's no guarantee of competence. There are good, bad, and mediocre doctors.

You are abviously intelligent but at 15 it is hard to know if you are getting the best care. It's hard at 30 or 60, too. But my gut reaction is that if a doc's "solution" is just to tell you to double your meds then he isn't fully and properly invested in your care. Time to get that "second opinion". If you do have what you say you have, the chemistry is critical.

I'm no expert in mental health. But it is interesting to read about the history of the DSM (Pyschiatry's Diagnostic Manual) and how behaviors are classified as "abnormal."

A couple of thoughts:

1. I know a fellow about your age who has similar issues. It was discovered that diet had a huge effect on behavior. He had unusual allergies and sensitivities. Changing his diet had more effect than changing his meds. Won't hurt to investigate it yourself.

2. Read about meditation, -- or better - join a meditators group, and practice it daily. I know people with psychotic tenddencies who claim that meditation keeps them grounded and sane. No meds are involved.

3. Don't do Ambien. It is for insomnia, not partying. It is a dangerous drug to use while awake because you will do bizarre stuff and not remember it. Plus it is very addictive. But get your doc to help you to taper off safely.

4. Apparently, there is a lack of a higher principle in your life. The NA meetings can help a little with that, but their expertise is getting you off drugs, not cultivating a spirituality. I don't know how to advise you - but I think a healthy spirituality would help a lot.

5. Keep in touch here and let us know how you are doing.

Best regards,

Buzz

[alpaca]

Originally Posted by SaTiT

Questions ....

Do you live under strick rules ?
not really
Can you express yourself to your parents or any adults in your life ?
no
Can you dis agree ?
yes but they hardly ever listen
Are you allow to express your fustrations.
no, my brothers make fun me and call me psycho sometimes assault me if I ever get upset
Are you allow to feel your anger ?
see above
Have you been taught or giving tools in how to release your anger in a posistive way?
no

When you get in trouble, you do just wish your parents
would just hold you in stead of punishing you ?
no, I wish they would leave me alone

Do you feel like no one really give's a rats arss oneway or
the other . So.....whats the big deal with all this chaos
anyways.
yes, I feel like I have already hit rock bottom in society and no one cares so whats the difference
Do you wish your parents just love you for who you are ?
instead of all these rules, demands, expectations.
they love me but they are always trying to make me look the way they want me to look, like they will take away my things if I don't get a haircut and say I look stupid and other things
Do you ever get praise for anything that you do or
every mistake you've ever made was pionted out to you.
I never get praised or encouraged, just insulted
Do you even know what you're feeling half of the time
or it just hurts somehow, so you rather not feel it or
deal with it.
no, I ussually just feel depressed and can barely deal with it after so long
Drugs won't change the world, it only make matter worst for you
as you know.

I don't have answers, But I've been there.
And i do care even if don't know you.

Here some suggestions
ala-teen
drugs counselor
recovery treatment

.

[BSPGirl]

Hmm I agree, go find another dr, you're too young to be put on all these heavy medications and what not. Sounds to me like you and don't get offended now, got the normal family life problems anyone your age has experienced to some degree. The trick is to learn how to deal with that, I remember being your age I was a lot more confused and unstable than I am now. But the first thing to do is go find another dr and be open about your drug use and all (Ambien).

[Christian]

Hey dude, what this video

http://www.mercola.com/LT/track.asp?l=163

It basically is saying doctors and FDA are causing more harm than good with their pharmaceuticas and drugs.

Did you konw the pharmeceutical companies most likely give your doctor huge gifts, paid vacations to carribean, dinners, weekend get-a-ways?

Its your own health. You gotta take control yourself ... ditch the drugs, i reccomend excersizing and trashing your poor (i assume) diet. NO sugars soda's ext ... those are junk. Maybe all your family is rubbing off on your bad, and you have to deal with that, which will be a big challenge in your life. But I'm not trying to be Tom Cruise here, but your doctor probably has no idea what is REALLY going on with you.

So anyways, get some running shoes or skateboard, join the track team or something ... sending you a PM now

[Done-With-It]

Hey there,

I can relate to a lot of what you were diagnosed with. I really want to emphasize that meds are VERY important with the things you were diagnosed with. Going off meds and trying to do it on your own can make you very suicidal. I speak from experience, and from watching others do the same thing.

I've heard from a lot of people that lithium wasn't for them. But there are a lot more things that they can try.

Can you go to a new pysch.?

Also, I wanted to let you know of the sister site to here, it's for teens. If you want to check it out it's called, www.soberteensonline.com

I hope to see you over there.

DWI

[BSPGirl]

Originally Posted by Christian

Hey dude, what this video

http://www.mercola.com/LT/track.asp?l=163

It basically is saying doctors and FDA are causing more harm than good with their pharmaceuticas and drugs.

Did you konw the pharmeceutical companies most likely give your doctor huge gifts, paid vacations to carribean, dinners, weekend get-a-ways?

Its your own health. You gotta take control yourself ... ditch the drugs, i reccomend excersizing and trashing your poor (i assume) diet. NO sugars soda's ext ... those are junk. Maybe all your family is rubbing off on your bad, and you have to deal with that, which will be a big challenge in your life. But I'm not trying to be Tom Cruise here, but your doctor probably has no idea what is REALLY going on with you.

So anyways, get some running shoes or skateboard, join the track team or something ... sending you a PM now

While I agree there's a lot of 'shady' business going on concerning psychiatric medication, I don't think it's a good advice to just tell someone to 'ditch their meds', most meds need to be tapered anyway under medical supervision.

[Done-With-It]

Originally Posted by BSPGirl

While I agree there's a lot of 'shady' business going on concerning psychiatric medication, I don't think it's a good advice to just tell someone to 'ditch their meds', most meds need to be tapered anyway under medical supervision.

I agree very important. I know this will make most suicidal. Please don't just quit taking your meds.

[Alera]

Do not quit those meds cold turkey without doctors advice. You can get very ill.

The symptoms of abuse can be mistaken for bi-polar, but many bi-polars also self-medicate. It it important that your doctor knows about your abuse.

[alpaca]

Originally Posted by Done-With-It

I agree very important. I know this will make most suicidal. Please don't just quit taking your meds.

well he put me on a pill called depakote which slows down your central nervous system basically. I hated it because it made me feel really stupid and zombie-like and it made my school work even worse so I stopped taking that, and I told him I had stopped taking it and refused to take it again. I really hate my doctor, infact he's not really a doctor hes a nurse. we have been going in circles for the past year, I am exactly where I was a year ago except now I have a drug problem. my mom set me up with a new doctor but that apointment is a month away.

[Done-With-It]

Originally Posted by alpaca

well he put me on a pill called depakote which slows down your central nervous system basically. I hated it because it made me feel really stupid and zombie-like and it made my school work even worse so I stopped taking that, and I told him I had stopped taking it and refused to take it again. I really hate my doctor, infact he's not really a doctor hes a nurse. we have been going in circles for the past year, I am exactly where I was a year ago except now I have a drug problem. my mom set me up with a new doctor but that apointment is a month away.

I was on depakote for awhile, then they switched me to Topamax, because of the liver or something. I found both to be helpful.

How can a nurse be prescribing you meds? Unless he is licensed that's not really legal.

I agree you really need someone you like, it makes such a difference.

Can your mom call them and tell them it's an emergency and get you in sooner. Have you told your mom how you are feeling?

[Morning Glory]

Hi alpaca,

I would suggest seeing a psychiatrist for your medication issues.

Make sure you get your levels done at least every 6 months. Try to get through the month without stopping your medication until you see the next doctor. Maybe that doctor can refer you to a psychiatrist. Do a little research and see if you can find a program in your area that will help you get off the Ambien. The doctor may be able to help you with that also.

[alpaca]

Originally Posted by Done-With-It

I was on depakote for awhile, then they switched me to Topamax, because of the liver or something. I found both to be helpful.

How can a nurse be prescribing you meds? Unless he is licensed that's not really legal.

I agree you really need someone you like, it makes such a difference.

Can your mom call them and tell them it's an emergency and get you in sooner. Have you told your mom how you are feeling?

he is a licensed nurse practitioner, I told my mom how I'm feeling and they waited a week before even calling anyone. I doubt they can have an appointmen sooner but I'll see.

[Kahlia]

Originally Posted by alpaca

I am a 15 year old kid who has been diagnosed with bi-polar disease, depression, adhd, obsessive compulsive disorder and have "psychotic tendancies." everyone in my family except 1 brother have also been diagnosed with similar things and all have been diagnosed with depression. I am currently being "treated" for all those things but I have no faith in my docor because whenever I tell him a pill he perscribed ins't helping he just says to double it. I am currently taking lamictal and lithium for my depression, a while ago I told him lamictal wasn't working and he just said double it. I told him it still wasn't working and he kept me on it and added lithium. that wasn't working so he told me to double it, and has never even had my lithium levels tested, which is a MUST with lithium. there are alot of other things he has done that I feel were stupid. I have been expelled from two different schools and currently go to a "alternative school" which is basically where all the druggies and foster kids and kids with behavior problems go, I have no friends there. anyways, the way I handle this is by taking a pill called ambien which gets you high, I have done this so much that I have gotten really used to it and when I am not high I am completely depressed, but when I am high I **** people off and do dangerous things. I have overdosed twice DURING school and have assaulted the teachers, sexually harassed girls, and started fights with gang members and other terrible things. anyways I am just wondering what you guys think I should do.

I as a nurse see a lot of things that do not make sense in your post...I think you should absolutely chnage Dr's. I also think that your abusive homelife needs to be brought out in the open when you get a new psychiatrist. It can be mistaken for BiPolar disoder. You are on some VERY strong anti-psychotic drugs that can affect the brain in many different ways. I would get a NEW Dr. as soon as possible. As far as your family, try and not argue with them as it only makes the abuse go further and get much worse....All I can say to you is that I have been EXACTLY where you are, being wrongly diagnosed and I was on the wrong meds for 3 years..I was a total mess. I used to think about stabbing people with screwdrivers....Just get a different Dr., PLEASE...and keep letting us know how you are doing........PEACE......Kahlia

[Kahlia]

The person (doctor) that can determine what is really going on with you would be a psychiatrist. Please do not let that scare you off. He/She will probably wonder why this nurse practitioner has you on Depakote, now?? That is also for BiPolar diorder BUT I do not believe you are biPolar..you are making perfect sense to me. Please make an appt and I know your household is a lot like mine was...ABUSIVE....AHHHHHHH...BUT you need help. If your parents tell you that they want you to see the Dr. that you have been referrered to, try and talk to them and tell them, you have "issues' That you feel that you need to talk to someone about....maybe that way they will take you to a psychiatrist, IF not...I would find one on my own..you can find on in the yellow pages...first you need to know what type of insurance your Mom/Dad have....get their card...and go. It is your life, not theirs. YOU need help, they don't. You may be 15 BUT you are still very much in trouble here. Keep letting us know what is going on. Congrats on your clean time, too. Good job. Keep doing whaever is working for you to stay that way and get another same amount of time. I am a nurse, and if you want, you can PM me. I had the EXACT same things happen to me.....PEACE.........KEEP STRONG.......Kahlia

[Peter]

Originally Posted by alpaca

I really hate my doctor, infact he's not really a doctor hes a nurse. we have been going in circles for the past year, I am exactly where I was a year ago except now I have a drug problem. my mom set me up with a new doctor but that apointment is a month away.

Having a nurse recommend your meds is probably a major part of your problem. Find a doctor right away.You live in America for Christ sakes why would it take a month to see a doctor.

However,I think Christian has a point where some of these "pill pushers" are concerned.

[alpaca]

well I just found out my meds are making me weak so I'm not going to take them anymore, they aren't helping me, only hurting.

[Peter]

Originally Posted by alpaca

well I just found out my meds are making me weak so I'm not going to take them anymore, they aren't helping me, only hurting.

Find a Doctor quick before you do some real damage to yourself.

[alpaca]

Originally Posted by Peter

Find a Doctor quick before you do some real damage to yourself.

I can't see one untill the end of the month.

[Peace Out]

Hang in there, alpaca, and I don't mean by the neck until dead! Much good advice coming your way here, i.e., meditation, relaxation, etc. As well as, the health care thing, get someone to be your advocate since you're not legal age yet, if your family can't/won't help you....

Peace Out