XANAX, ATIVAN, KLONOPIN, VALIUM, great info here

[windysan]

"being an accidental addict to benzodiazpines is serious
business"


I don't know why the term "accidental addict" bugs the hell outta me?? I mean, jeez, who didn't know about benzos being dope? I knew from age 11 that valium was dope that got ya high.

[Live]

Runvs....thank you immensely...I will be reading and re-reading that post. I have a feeling it is going to be a lifeline!
Right now I feel great and feel like the Ashton taper is slower than I need. But...it has only been a week. (On valium...I had started xanax taper a week before and that is what brought me here) But I cannot repeat often enough how much better and instaneously I began to feel better as soon as I stopped the xanax. I deviated from the taper recommendations in that respect, I substituted valium completely...NO XANAX. Haven't pinned down the correct amount of valium for the taper tho.....but have been taking, even on the two days after I went into dangerous withdrawal and took as many as it took to get me out of it, considerably less than recommended.
I can't seem to shake the constant headache...but I think that is a matter for my chiro. I have an old neck injury...but with the muscle tension, stress and withdrawal I think I need it put back in place again. However, part of it is I know, from the withdrawal.
The biggest decision I must make now is whether to return to work Tuesday. I have mixed feelings about that.

Barto, WHY would you want to go back to caffeine? If you research what that drug does to you, you might just change your mind. There is a caffeine withdrawal thread in mental health, just in case you are interested. I have a friend there who is struggling with the caffeine just as much as we are struggling with the benzos.
The only caffeine I am ingesting is in goody's powders which I have used for my headaches and surprisingly it is the equivalent of one cup of coffee, so I am sparing using them only when the headache is really getting to me. I try to use ibuprofen and cold packs. But then, I have been sensitive to caffeine for years. Maybe this does not even apply to you. I am drinking de-caf now which contains a minute amount...and it still stains my teeth. Think I will have a glass of milk next.
Thanks everyone for all your help, information and support.
I will be taking the charts to the Dr today.

[Live]

Accidental addict........I was prescribed them by a specialist as being needed for an anxiety disorder. I didn't get on them to get high, I got on them to be well and functional. At first it was a miracle and I could work and function again. Then came the tolerance and addiction. When all is said and done I still may need a scrip for anxiety disorder but it will have to be something non-benzo and non-addicting.

[RUNVS]

Originally Posted by RUNVS

Benzodiazepine Recovery Tips

1. Recovery from being an accidental addict to benzodiazpines is serious
business. It takes time for the central nervous system to heal and for neurotransmitters to stop being sensitive. None of us had the faintest idea that this kind of situation lay in front of us. So we are dealing with shock at what has happened as well as the real physical and
mental/emotional symptoms of withdrawal.


2. Recovery is not linear, as it is with other illnesses or injuries. If we cut
our hands, we can actually see the cut heal and the pain diminish over time. In benzo withdrawal we can be well one day and very sick the next. This is normal and we have to look at our healing differently.


3. Recovery is an individual thing, and it is difficult to predict how quickly
symptoms will stop for good. People expect to be completely better after a certain period of time, and often get discouraged and depressed when they feel this time has passed and they are not completely better. Most patient support programs tell clients to anticipate 6 months to a year for recovery after a taper has ended. But some people feel better a few months after they stop taking benzos; for others it takes more than a year to feel completely better. Try not to be obsessed with how long it will take, because every day you stay off benzos, your body is healing at its own rate. If you do not follow this particular schedule, it does not mean there is something wrong or you are not healing. Even if you are feeling ill in some respects, other symptoms may disappear. Even people in difficult tapers see
improvements in symptoms very early on. So don't let these time-frames scare you. The way you feel at one month will not be how you will be feeling at three months or at six months.



4. It is very typical to have setbacks at different points of time (these times
can vary). These setbacks can be so intense that people feel their healing hasn't happened at all; they feel they have been taken right back to beginning. Setbacks, if they occur, are a normal part of recovery.



5. When people are in recovery, they have a lot of fears. One is that they will
never get better. Another is that their symptoms are really what they are like - perhaps what they have always been like. Both of these fears are stimulated by benzo withdrawal. In other words they are the thought components of benzo withdrawal, just as insomnia is a physical component.



6. There is no way around benzo withdrawal and recovery - you have to go through it. People try all sorts of measures to try to make the pain stop, but nothing can shortcut the process. Our body and brain have their own agenda for healing, and it will take place if you simply accept it.


7. When you are having a bad spell, healing is still going on. People typically
find that after a bad spell, symptoms improve and often go away forever. Try to remember this when times are hard.



8. There is no magic cure to recovery, but you can help yourself by comforting and reassuring yourself as much as possible. Read reassuring information, stay away from stress, ask your partner, family and others for reassurance, and go back to the things you did at the beginning if you are experiencing really tough symptoms.



9. When we start to feel better, it is very typical to try to do too much. We
are grateful to be alive and we have energy for the first time in weeks or months. But this can be a dangerous time. When we do to much and take on too much too early, it re-sensitizes the nervous system. It doesn't prevent healing in the long term, but it can make us feel discouraged. So try to pace yourself, even if you are feeling good.



10. You do need to respect your body during recovery, although you don't need to make drastic changes to your lifestyle. Exercise, in any form is critical - even if you can only walk around the house or to the end of the block. Eating well and avoiding all stimulants is crucial. Regular high-protein snacks can help with the shakes and the feelings of weakness we have during withdrawal and recovery.



11. Recovery is all about acceptance, but this does not mean passive acceptance. Set small goals for yourself that are achievable. Try to keep exercise happening. Work at your recovery even if that means accepting you are sick - for now. You wouldn't be hard on yourself if you were in a traffic accident and had injuries; you would work at rehab. --Try to take the same attitude and approach to benzodiazepine withdrawal.

Source
psychmedaware.org

This helps me also. Maybe it should say accidental and/or addict.

[Barto]

Originally Posted by windysan

God, grant me the serenity....

You know you can help God by stopping the caffeine.

Seriously though, I think the term “accidental addict” is simply meant to distinguish those that would not be addicted to a specific drug if not for a doctor’s having prescribed them that drug. For example, I think I may be a garden variety “addict” with regard to cocaine or alcohol, but may be an “accidental addict” with regard to Xanax. This is because I was seeking help for what I thought were heart attacks when I was put on Xanax for panic attacks.

And what exactly is dope? I think weed, coke, heroin, caffeine, nicotine, tramadol, and alcohol, (and even certain foods to certain people) can be considered dope (depending on how you define dope). Is dope a subjective term because not every addict becomes addicted to anything addictive? For example, many heavy drinkers never become alcoholic, just as many alcoholics never have a problem with pills. I know alkies with long term sobriety (decades) that have taken pills that would apparently lead many posting on this board to relapse, yet these alkies have done so without incident. I know when I was "out there", Valium was the last thing I wanted.

I am curious, does anyone here have a working definition of what dope is? I think this is the illusive term, unless it is amorphous and subjective; but even then, how do you define dope?

Liveweyerd. I may not go back to caffeine. I joke about it with those in, and those seeking, recovery; but I know it is a serious drug. I tell myself that it is not as serious as other drugs I have taken; and, although this may be true, I know it is a drug that am better off without. Where can I read more? I saw a thread started by Bozo. Is that the thread you refer to?

[windysan]

I remember when I was around 12 or 13 me and my buddies knew that taking a coupla blues and washing them down with a few beers would make us "dopey".

I knew early on that valium was a drug to be abused. I don't think they made xanax back then. When xanax came out I knew it was a drug to be abused.

I reckon I just think everyone else should've known about benzos and their potential for abuse. I never really looked at benzos or any other mind-altering pill as "medicine". I grew up too fast I guess. I guess that other people had absolutely no idea what they were getting into when they started taking pills. I knew exactly what I was getting into.

Coffee shop is closed today. Maybe I should've started tapering espresso yesterday. I guess I'm reduced to drink gas station coffee. blech

[RUNVS]

Day 314 off of Ativan

Feels like the brain fog lifting and I feel hyper sensitive to things now, but I feel like im connecting back to the world.

What a long journey but I feel some positive changes going on.

[windysan]

The world opens up and it is beautiful, Run.

Amazing things will happen.

[Live]

Too much to address here at the moment....so Barto, yes I had panic attacks and constant anxiety so for me caffeine is a drug. It is a stimulant and causes jitters and heightens anxiety. Then I would need another xanax to counteract that! LOL
Yes, Bozo has a caffeine thread and I just noticed another one this week in eating disorders but I haven't looked at it.

Runvs, it blows my mind and I have great compassion for you that it has taken almost a year to clear the effects of that drug from your body and soul.
But I am very very glad to hear that you are feeling better.
And I want to thank you most sincerely for the info you posted in this thread. Your doing that resulted in my decision to get clean from benzos and every day I feel better...I had not realized what they were doing to me and how much they impaired me.

And thanks Windysan for your ongoing support and encouragement.

[Live]

Bump for Arura

[Live]

Update. Originally I was put on 10mg valium a day....way too low dose. Went back to Dr last weekend with Ashton charts tho' I am not exactly following that either. He bumped me up to 30 mg valium a day for one week and 25 the next week and then I go back. But....I forget to take them until I start to feel withdrawals. Have taken 20 mg today. Too soon really to tell or make a decision but it looks like I will be able to taper on less, therefore more quickly.
(The Ashton chart would have me on the equivalent of 80mg/day...I cried when I read that...it would also still have me on the xanax along with the valium which I refuse to do) Side effects of the valium is that I am ravenous! Before I barely ate. Also sleepiness...but I was warned about that in this info.
I feel great mentally, emotionally, physically (well except for falling asleep too much). Things are not all altogether yet, tho'. I find myself unwilling to leave my room. I felt comfortable going to the convenience store tonight...but during daylight I have an aversion. Also can't focus on reading except for SR.
This makes me think I may be going back to work half time next week...as my work requires intensive concentration, research, reading legal documents, problem solving, persistence, focus etc. If I can't even read the recovery book I could usually read easily in one sitting, I don't know about being able to perform a far more intensive task.
Or maybe I just like my little safety zone and hanging out at SR? Or both.
Again, thanks to all!
Am still thinking on that dope question Barto....but it is awfully complicated!

And um, Barto....I treated myself to a giant Dr Pepper tonight.

[Live]

UNCLE!!!!!!!!!

That Dr Pepper did me in....I was cranked up all night, didn't sleep at all, spent the WHOLE night on the computer. Am still up all cranked up.

No more caffeine relapses for me.!

[windysan]

Hey live. My buddy did a pretty long taper with valium. He timed his dosage during the day when he really needed a dose. Morning and night(before bed) is when he took his doses. He tried to hold out as much as possible during the day.

[Arura]

I take 10mg of valium 3 times a day n2 20mg temazepam some
nights.if not all gone.it's a good pace for me.i need them.
good luck..

[RUNVS]

http://www.worldtalkradio.com/archive.asp?aid=3103

Interseting talk about Benzos.

[RUNVS]

Originally Posted by RUNVS

http://www.worldtalkradio.com/archive.asp?aid=3103

Interseting talk about Benzos.

Actually this link gives all 3 shows
http://www.anniearmenlive.org/benzos.htm#HELP

[woops]

Originally Posted by Arura

I take 10mg of valium 3 times a day n2 20mg temazepam some
nights.if not all gone.it's a good pace for me.i need them.
good luck..

Arura
That's a heck of a lot of benzo................................

[lovenunn2002]

i take xanax and without it i would probly relapse!!!!!there are those who take it as prescribed who acually need it and those who abuse it,if you cant take it or dont need it than stay away from it.i am an addict and i have had severe anxiety since age 14 im now 27.i used other drugs to self medicate.i thank god for xanax.thank you that is all.lovenunn

[Live]

lovenunn...it's okay. We are not here to judge you.
They just stopped helping me and starting harming me even more.

Barto....you might do a search on caffeine....I really can't remember where I read things.

update on me...I stopped isolating..got out Sun, Mon and Tues. Going back to work tomorrow.
I am getting ready to tuck in early....and hide the phone under the couch cushion! LOL

Am going to try to read the whole Ashton manual...I printed it out...but am still having a bit of a problem with the concentration....I will likely fall asleep.

[RUNVS]

Benzos start out as being your friend........then turns on you and catches you in a snare when you least expect it.

[RUNVS]

... Following an abrupt withdrawal, the symptoms will often last between six months and two years of gradually diminishing mixed psychological and somatic symptoms (Ashton, 1986). ...

http://www.bcnc.org.uk/allison.html

[Arura]

Im sure you all think im nuts, but at the moment i belive that
i need the benzos,........to deal with certain things in life.

I know its not NA policy but i do need them.

suicidal without them.

[windysan]

Originally Posted by Arura

Im sure you all think im nuts, but at the moment i belive that
i need the benzos,........to deal with certain things in life.

I know its not NA policy but i do need them.

suicidal without them.

I believe that some people need this medication.

[windysan]

Run and Barto.....how's my favorite two benzo boys doing?

[emmer]

A doctor told me once that only 20% on people that go on benzos turn into addicts but.......... IMHO 100% of people who go on benzos will turn into addicts, if there on them for more than 1 month.
With me, addiction set in even sooner. I started with 13mg klonopin a day.After 1 month I was fully addicted ,after 3 months I was screwed and after 6 months I was told by another doctor that I better start going to N.A.
The withdrawal is beyond awful.