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05-20-2006, 01:32 PM
| #157 (permalink) |
| Member  |
Okay. I am convinced that despite my asking my Dr here last time if I would ever be able to get off the xanax and he said probably not because anxiety is chemical (depression, too) same as diabetes....I, then, gave 1/2 my xanax away to a family member to help them taper and find myself in cold turkey because I did not refill by the 9th. I started rapid, out of necessity, cutback all week. Have one left. And I can well remember the last time I decided to chuck it and go cold turkey. I was too unwell. I am scared and very worried about my occupation as a professional. The last time I went cold turkey, by the 8th day I was wigging out so bad, I said okay, I will get my refill. And, yes, both my Dr's tell me I need them, both the general and the shrink. But I am out. And I don't have the $$$ to fly home to see my shrink. I put myself in a pickle here, eh? And, yes, I would definitely rather do a taper over a couple of months. I have been put on these off and on for nearly 20 years. I have taken myself off, as well. I really am not at all sure about what the right thing to do is. I know I will never ever consider going off the anti-d's. For me, depression is a progressive disease and I do not have another recovery in me.
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters  |
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05-20-2006, 03:13 PM
| #158 (permalink) |
| Big Idiot Man Child  Join Date: May 2004 Location: La
Posts: 5,774
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I'm a "pro" too and I had to just forget about being a "pro" in order to save my own life. A dead "professional" is just another dead guy. I suggest calling your doctor now and telling him you are afraid of going cold turkey. Print the Ashton Manual (google it), give it to the doctor, then try the slow valium taper. For now you need to be very careful and if you start to feel too weird you might want to go to the ER. Seizures are nothing to blow off. Please be very careful and give your doctor a call. If he doesn't answer then you might want to call the shrink....or any medical professional you know. Get them to call in a prescription (if only for just a few pills). Be careful and take care. |
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05-20-2006, 03:37 PM
| #159 (permalink) |
| Member |
thank you very much for your reply. I am the sole support of my family and have just tried to get my career back on track, so yeah it is scary. I will be able to call my shrink in Fl, Monday. (I am working in Indiana). But I would be much happier flying home and seeing her. I am sure she would work with me on the valium detox, whereas the general dr here would poo poo me for wanting to stop taking them. I have consumed no sugars or caffeine today and the jitters are calming down a little. I have a headache and took some ibuprofen. I have been observing myself today and hanging around SR. I have not drank anything alcoholic tho' there is a little wine here and 3 beers in the frig. I haven't taken my sleepy antidepressant to avoid this crap. I recognize that right now I am hungry, angry, lonely and tired. HALT. I still have one pill left. That is for tomorrow.
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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05-20-2006, 10:09 PM
| #160 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Southern California
Posts: 120
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05-21-2006, 11:32 AM
| #162 (permalink) | |
| Member  Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,497
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05-21-2006, 08:09 PM
| #163 (permalink) |
| Member |
I have been taking too many for too long to do the quick taper I tried or to do cold turkey. That became evident when I tried to lay down in the wee hours this morning when I had been taking 1/2 dose for a week and tried to do 1/4 dose yesterday. My throat felt like it was going to close and I started having mini muscle spasms all over. I took the rest of the 1/2 dose. That left me with none. Today I went to a new Dr whom I knew by reputation and felt would work with me better told him basically what I have said here and what I had learned was advisable and he said that sounds reasonable and wrote me a scrip for valium. I forgot to even check what should be my taper dosage and haven't done that yet.....yep, checking up on the Dr  ...but I will. If there is too much discrepancy I will print and go see him again.Other than feeling queasy after dinner, I feel much better than I have in quite awhile. Thanks everyone here! Drinking lots of water, eating lots of yogurt. And very, very glad to learn what I have learned.
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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05-22-2006, 04:54 PM
| #165 (permalink) |
| Member |
I know, I need to look them up. I am avoiding reading what an awful time others have had with it. Too easy for me to get a mindset from. I know it is oh so early on, but I am feeling so much better mentally and emotionally than I have in the longest time. Last night and today I learned WHEN to take my taper doses...because of the physical effects. I need one to eat (lunch) and one to sleep. Because I laid awake staring at the ceiling until 3am when I get up at 6:30 and then at lunchtime everything was distasteful and almost immediately came back up. Tomorrow my workmate and I are going to pack lunches (I will take yogurts) and walk for excercise. Thanks for the care, concern and support.
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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05-22-2006, 08:37 PM
| #166 (permalink) |
| Member |
I checked out the chart. And I think I remember it being said that a taper was taking 1/4 down a month or something like that. So, according to this the Dr I just saw put me on the equivalent of 1/8 dropping me 7/8ths all at once. AND a little earlier this evening I found 3 xanax that I did not know I had and put them in the toilet. I found them because I knew I had a bottle of trazadone on the top of the frig. I took my last one last night so went to top of frig to get one from other bottle. NO trazadone. I need that. Instead 3 xanax. Bloody hell. I am somewhat exasperated. Sleep is not optional. I went to work today on 3 hours sleep. I am not sure what I am going to do now. Really I am doing really well I guess, seeing as how I have been okay with it. But now I am thinking about allowing myself an extra so I can get to sleep. It wouldn't be at all out of line according to the charts. In fact, yeah I am going to take a too low dose of valium right now so I can get some sleep tonight. I am calling it the let common sense prevail rule. LOL But am going to try to stick with this superfast taper. Today. This is one day at a time. If I need to I will print the chart, go back if necessary to Dr. We will see how it goes and I will do my best to stay on or very, very close to the 1/8. I really don't feel bad. I felt great today mentally and emotionally. Everybody at work noticed it. It was a new vibrant me. The problems are physical...the sleep and the way my stomach wants to upchuck anything but yogurt. Good thing I love yogurt. And I have a whole Wal-Mart bag full of assorted flavors in frig. My workmate was begging me this morning to go on walks over lunch instead of the plate lunches, she is deperate to lose weight. I wasn't keen on it, I like my plate lunches, but after today's lunch I told her sure, I'll walk with you this week. So there is another good thing. I will be getting excercise from my sedentary job. But I really am not up for a protracted period of working and not sleeping. This is going to be the problem.
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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05-23-2006, 02:53 PM
| #169 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,497
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I wish insomnia was the last symptom to go away for me. Unfortunately, the ringing in my ears continues. It is up and down, but may be getting better overall (or I'm getting used to it, which I suppose is almost as good). Has anybody else here experienced this? Anybody know of anybody that might want to share their experience with regard to it?
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05-23-2006, 04:20 PM
| #171 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Terminus, GA
Posts: 527
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Your tinnitis sounds like the permanent variety. It is usually caused by (or results from?) damage to the hair cells in the cochlea. Rush Limbaugh went nearly deaf from pain meds - probably the acetaminophen. I have it, too. It was bad about 5 years ago and I went to an audilogist who told me that it was from excessive noise. I asked him if it could be from drugs and he said no (I guess they can look at the remaining frequency response and tell). I think mine resulted from hearing damage when I worked on the GM assembly line in college. Couldn't sleep for the ringing in my ears. Plus, the doc guessed what shoulder I put my shotgun on -- and I didn't even reveal that I hunted (but me being a redneck in Georgia I guess it wasn't exactly rocket science to this MD from New Delhi). http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ocketwhore.gif Anyway, I've gotten used to it, I guess. You can train yourself to mostly ignore it. It wanes a bit but NEVER goes away. I have trouble hearing people in a crowded room, I like the TV louder than other folks, etc. so it's part of a pattern of loss. Unfortunately, there isn't much that can be done that I know of, except to make some peace with it. Buzz | |
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05-23-2006, 05:11 PM
| #172 (permalink) |
| Member |
Oh boy, I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. According to the Ashton manual the withdrawal scrip I have been given for a whole month would be appropriate for 2 days. I didn't go in to work today and took 2 days worth according to Dr's scrip. Mentally, emotionally I feel fine. Physically, chemically we are pushing my body too hard. The first thing my shrink always asks me is how is your sleeping, how is your eating. But my shrink is in Fl 1000 miles away. So, I will go back to Dr with printout. Since it was new Dr,...I don't blame him. I don't know whether he was misinformed or just unsure about me. But I do believe he will work with me. Hey, I just mis-spoke...according to Ashton manual....what he gave me for a month would be appropriate for ONE day.....but I am sure I do not need that much.
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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05-23-2006, 08:11 PM
| #173 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,497
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Windy. Yeah, it ain’t no fun. I read on the benzo.org website that the ringing was a W/D symptom, but I haven’t talked to anyone else that had it (as a symptom that went away). Buzz. Good advice. I’ve been trying to get used to it just in case it doesn’t go away. My ENT told me it might go away, though; or, if it didn’t, it would get better after 60 days. He ordered an audiogram which showed no significant hearing loss. It has been almost 60 days now. I was encouraged last week because it was gone or nearly inaudible for few days. Then it came back. It is not as bad as it was 50 days ago, but it is definitely still there. What is odd is that I just said F it, and started drinking coffee (lots), and that’s when it went away. Then I couldn’t sleep, so I started tapering off the caffeine, and the ringing started to come back. I am hoping that it is louder now because of the stress of caffeine withdrawal, and that it will quiet back down. Either way, I guess if you and the 50 million other Americans who have it can deal with it, so can I. “Caffeine withdrawal?” I can’t even believe I said that considering I used to swallow multiple tabs of acid, or reds, or whatever was available, then guzzle whiskey from the bottle and drink beers all night. How times change, huh? PS, I shot from my right shoulder, and the ringing is more on the left side. Go figure. |
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05-23-2006, 08:25 PM
| #174 (permalink) |
| Member |
Caffeine withdrawal is REAL! Caffeine is such a powerful stimulant and can have effects other than the obvious 12 hours after ingestion. There is a caffeine withdrawal thread in the mental health forum. I am staying caffeine free, because my presenting condition, that was the reason for the meds was anxiety. So caffeine has always been a problem for me. But having the heebie-jeebies from withdrawing from the meds has me scared of caffeine, and even my caffeine-free cokes because of the sugar. I do drink de-caf which has a very, very small amount of caffeine in it. I had ringing in my ears the last time I tried to go cold turkey from the benzos. None now that I am on a withdrawal. Good luck!
__________________ Each small candle lights a corner of the dark....Roger Waters |
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05-23-2006, 09:01 PM
| #175 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Righthere, Rightnow
Posts: 1,497
| Oh yes, Liveweyerd...
... caffeine is very bad for anxiety, and it was impossible for me to taper off the benzos while drinking it. Even green tea made me anxious and affected my sleep. If I have to choose between the ringing in my ears and the side affects of caffeine, I don't know which I'll choose. I am hoping that I can be both ring free and caffeine free.
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