XANAX, ATIVAN, KLONOPIN, VALIUM, great info here

[Arura]

I is just a readin'in Runvs's thread.................I is a reading.! .........lots of info! ....Thank you,...Ive seen it before but did'nt know you were part of it....WTG...!

The idea of 'Protracted w/d is a new one too me,...n ive detoxed off benzos before aswell...? Maybe i wernt looking at the symtoms,....as I tend to do a Geographical.............just change n everthing will be fine............Wrong...!
But today i stand on my doorstep no matter what n say No as it's the only way i can think of to beat this demon...!

Protracted w/d.................AAAAArrrrgggghhhhhhh,,,....Thats me F***ed up then for a long time ...!?!

sorry if i sound edgy, maybe Whoops could help there ...........Ladys forum Darlin.............Long Hard day...!

[Alan]

Thank you for your replies. I only tapered once for 5 days and immediately relapsed. I relapsed because I was tapering on .50 for 5 days from 40 mg a day. When I quit this time I went cold turkey from 250 my hydro and 40 mg xanax. I didnt know any better. I only had experience with opiate withdrawl. By the time
I was 12 hours into my last detox, it was to late to do anything. I was stuck at my condo and the w/d turned me to stone. In the morning I smoked some pot
I found and helped for an hour and then turned to stone again. I had the hospital number on my cell phone set for speed dial if I stopped breathing. On the 4th day I could move up and down and thats when my parents stopped by
out of the blue. We were both terrified. I knew I had hit my bottom and never want to go back. I never could ask anyone for help in my life because I was too proud. That detox changed me. God came to my rescue and I gave myself to him. I dont know how I came to do all the pills I was doing. The xanax was what
sent my life into oblivion. That drug filled every void in my life and made me who I was. I felt like a monster in the end. The xanax bars and blue hydro pills turned me into a dead man. I wont ever soon forget how out of control I
had become. Those days are over for me for good. I have had enough of that crap for a lifetime. I am 35 years old. I want to live to 70 at least so I may have at least half of my life back to myself. If I can do that, I will die in peace and not like the drug that I had come to be. This thread has helped me a great deal and am very glad I found this website. I dont ever want to have to go thru life alone again.

[windysan]

I detoxed off huge amounts in a detox then a 28 day rehab. I was okay in a couple of weeks. I prefer medical detox with doctors around so that if you start convulsing the docs can help.

Alan - You've been to Hell. Don't go back. Remember the nasty kick.

[Live]

I have tapered from 4 mg/day to .5mg/day with no lasting side effects. In fact I feel so much better!
I realize this isn't the quantity you all are talking about BUT I had been prescribed them for years so my body was quite accustomed to them and there were withdrawals, but with a taper I was able to manage that transition relatively easily. The hard lesson for me was that I needed to do it more slowly than I would have wished. But still far faster than the Ashton manual suggests.
just my 2 cents,
live

[Alan]

My day started out pretty crummy running back and forth to a pay phone making calls to get my utility company to keep my electric on! I explained my situation and they were good with that for now. I was tired from running around
but then my day took an amazing turn. My mood changed from depression and guilt to uplifting and very clear. My body did a major 180 yesterday and I felt so good yesterday that I could not fall asleep until 4am. I was up all nite with thoughts of my life and my future with loved ones around me and me not having to ever use again. I really moved over a big hurdle yesterday and physically my body feels like Im on extacy. It is amazing. I must also tell you I started a low dose of .25 mg zoloft 2 days ago. I dont know if this is what helped but I feel like I did when I was 16 again. I figured out last nite that from the time I was 17
until my detox, I was only sober for a total of 4 months. Thats not at one time, but 30 days, 4 times. Tomarrow will be the fifth time in my life that I have been sober for 30 days in a row since I was 17. My body may be adjusting to its new freedom. I am very relieved and very tired right now. I feel like I have my life back in full control and I owe it in part to everyone who has helped me here the last few days. Your stories have helped me dig deeper into my soberiety and I understand now that I am doing the right things. Thank you all I mean that. I hope everyone is doing as well as me today.

[Live]

That's awesome! Thanks for sharing your experience and hope! It is worth so much....inspiring!

[VictoryLee]

BCNC International is a great site for getting off benzos. It is still small, but growing fast. I can try and find the link and get it to you.
okay, here it is.

http://www.bcnc.org.uk/phpBB2/index.php

Victory

[ccgirl]

I haven't been on this thread for a while, but I see the RUNVs took exception to my "promotion" of benzos.

That is not the case. No one here knows my medical history, and I take exception to being called a drug promoter. I am killing myself withdrawing from opiates, so I understand addiction. I have been under the care of a caring psychiatrist whom I trust, and belive it or not, I do my homework on meds that I'm taking long term.

[windysan]

Originally Posted by ccgirl

I haven't been on this thread for a while, but I see the RUNVs took exception to my "promotion" of benzos.

That is not the case. No one here knows my medical history, and I take exception to being called a drug promoter. I am killing myself withdrawing from opiates, so I understand addiction. I have been under the care of a caring psychiatrist whom I trust, and belive it or not, I do my homework on meds that I'm taking long term.

Don't sweat it, CC. Benzos, taken as directed, have helped many. People do need to be careful with them. Many a boozehead has been effectively treated with Librium in detox.

[Buzz Kilowatt]

Kahila,

Since I didn't receive the benefit nor courtesy of a reply to my previous post I shall consider the issue closed.

Thanks & best regards,

Buzz

[NEEDTOBESOBER]

Originally Posted by liveweyerd

I have tapered from 4 mg/day to .5mg/day with no lasting side effects. In fact I feel so much better!
I realize this isn't the quantity you all are talking about BUT I had been prescribed them for years so my body was quite accustomed to them and there were withdrawals, but with a taper I was able to manage that transition relatively easily. The hard lesson for me was that I needed to do it more slowly than I would have wished. But still far faster than the Ashton manual suggests.
just my 2 cents,
live

How long did you taper down to .5, and how bad were the withdrawals, are you having any rebound anxiety ? Also how many years were you taking Benzo's? I am curious cause I want to try and wean myself off of Benzo's, I have been on them for around 4 - 5 yrs pretty steadily.

[RUNVS]

This is not my story but another person that totally recovered


I was first prescribed Xanax in 1986, for intermittent panic attacks that had begun occuring at my job. The doctor advised me to take this medicine as part of my daily routine, which I did, having no idea that it was an addictive drug. I soon became dependent, and remained dependent on benzodiazepines for fifteen years.

Although my dosage gradually had to be increased every six months or so, I did well on benzos for about eight years. I was able to become successful in my career as an activewear designer and product manager. However, after about eight years, the dark side of benzodiazepines began to manifest. The major symptoms that I began experiencing around that time were emotional blunting, depression, increased anxiety, memory loss, mental confusion, an inability to learn anything new, and profound apathy. None of these had been present prior to taking benzos.

When I tried to go off, however, all hell broke loose. A period of ill-informed decisions followed, during which neither I nor my doctor really understood what was happening to me. Basically, neither of us properly understood the true intensity and duration of the withdrawal syndrome, and when I remained symptomatic four months after an abrupt withdrawal from six mg Klonopin, the decision was made that I should remain on benzos the rest of my life.

However, I eventually became so unhappy trying to live on benzodiazepines that I decided I had to go off, and would go through whatever was necessary to get back to my normal self. Despite all I was going through, I kept sight of an inner sense of wellness, a belief that underneath the benzos that I wasn’t indeed, sick. I thought I could get back to myself if I gave it enough time. I seemed to be the only one who thought so, however, besides my husband, who remembered that I had had simple anxiety before going on benzos – a mere drop of water compared to this ocean of suffering. In fact, an occasional panic attack looked like a walk in the park compared to what I had come to on the medicine. In April 2002 I went off of 7 mg Klonopin, finally, and for good.

I went off abruptly, in a hospital, which I do not necessarily recommend others do, except in certain combinations of circumstances. It was a difficult and confusing time, and I made some ill-informed decisions. I want to relay my benzo story as it happened, so that people know what my experience has been, and what I have learned through it, such that they might avoid the same mistakes. My way of going off of benzos is not intended to set an example. In fact, it is precisely because this experience was so horrific that I became inspired to help other people.

Because I went off abruptly, I was extremely sick (physically and mentally with symptoms too numerous to list here), and had to put all outside commitments on hold for several months. I hid out at home, creeping out only occasionally during the initial months, and then healing very gradually until finally getting completely well after a long three years. It is very important, when reading about my withdrawal symptoms to remember that I went off of a high dosage all at once (two weeks). This is not the recommended method. By doing a gradual taper, the intensity of symptoms, in most cases, can be kept to a tolerable minimum.

My withdrawal timeline:

FIRST THREE MONTHS: suffering mentally 24/7 except when I could sleep.

THREE – SIX MONTHS: Good moments gradually occur and slowly increase, giving me significant relief and the knowledge that I was in the process of healing.

SIX MONTHS PLUS: Gradual healing on all levels. The mental torment of the organic fear gradually subsiding, and periods of feeling normal gaining ground. Cognitive ability returning slowly to normal. Over the two years that followed I saw continuous improvement. I still had periods of feeling symptomatic, but they rarely lasted more than a few hours, and I became increasingly able to trust that these negative states would pass. It is difficult to pinpoint the day on which I’d declare myself completely healed, but I’ll put it at three years. This doesn’t mean I was suffering horribly until three years had passed: it means I felt completely free of symptoms related to benzodiazepines after three years.


A***** K******* M.A.

[windysan]

Here is my story.

Kicked with help of medical detox then 28 day rehab.

Felt great in about 2 weeks after the weird brain drugs wore off.

Back to 100% pretty quick. Was still kinda weird for a year but I think that is because I was wasted for so long and I had to adapt to "normal life".

[RUNVS]

Day 453 (15 months) off of ativan

Last few days have seen small amounts of improvements. I am definitely moving in the right direction at the moment. Feels like my personality is trying to come back. Thank the good Lord for that.

I still have a ways to go but I am improving some.

[RUNVS]

[RUNVS]

This is not me but another benzo story.


Another great story of hope that we do heal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




B@@@@@'s Story



I had an anxiety disorder !!!



I was a police officer for 12 years but had to leave the job due to panic


attacks. The police doctor said that I had an "anxiety disorder" and put me


on Xanax. That was the worst mistake of my life!



I stayed on Xanax for the next 12 years while going to therapy to find out


why I had this "anxiety disorder". During these 12 years I tried, by myself,


to taper down and go off of the Xanax without any success. Each time that I


decreased the dosage I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I would run to


my doctor and tell him all my symptoms and he would say that I had this


"anxiety disorder" and that I "needed" the Xanax. He would instruct me to


increase the dosage and, sure enough, my symptoms would disappear. What he


never told me was that I was experiencing a severe withdrawal reaction and


not some "anxiety disorder". I never abused this drug or exceeded the dosage


but I did take it faithfully for 12 years.



My family noticed a gradual change in my personality. They noticed that I


didn't laugh anymore or show much emotion about anything. They said I would


just sit there like I was frozen. I felt I was a vegetable! I continued to


see therapists, thinking that one of them could cure me of this "anxiety


disorder", but I was only getting worse. I was barely leaving the house, and


when I did, someone had to be with me. I was so afraid and still suffered


from panic attacks, depression and paranoia.



Thank God that I met a Christian doctor, and after 2 years of therapy and


getting nowhere with me, he said that I would never improve until I got off


of the Xanax. I could not go on living like this anymore and somehow made it


into a rehab. They took me off "cold turkey" and put me on phenobarbital so


that I would not have a seizure. I then became allergic to the phenobarbital


so they put me on Klonopin and sent me home. After I stopped the Klonopin


ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE! My wife called the rehab doctors for help but they


said that I would have to come to their office. I could barely walk, talk or


sleep, much less travel. So with the help of my wife I dug myself in at home


and stayed there for the next two years, waiting for these symptoms to


leave. I felt that all my doctors had abandoned me and I was totally on my


own. All I had or knew about withdrawal was what I read from a book by


Shirley Trickett called "Coming off Tranquilizers".



At first I thought that I was losing my mind and wanted to be committed but


I was too paranoid to leave the house. I kept my wife prisoner in her own


home pleading with her to stay with me and she did for the next 2 years. My


nerves screamed out at me from every part of my body. All I wanted to do was


die but was too afraid to kill myself. I cursed God, neighbors and family


members. I was in so much pain that I didn't care who heard me and screamed


out loud. I busted up furniture and threw chairs. I made holes in the walls


and floors. It wasn't fun for me or my family to watch. I cried for months.


The tears just wouldn't stop. While being sedated for 12 years I had never


dealt with anything and now everything that I had buried was coming to the


top. I weighed only 149 lbs and my family thought I wouldn't make it. They


pleaded for me to see a doctor but I refused, believing that more drugs were


not the answer if I was ever to recover. After 2 years I was able to leave


the house and I learned to drive all over again. Little by little I started


to get my life back.



This month I will have four years of being TOTALLY DRUG FREE! Most of my


troublesome symptoms have left. Mentally, I feel great. I exercise daily and


eat a very healthy diet. Physically, I still have nerve pain and get


fatigued once in a while, but I have confidence that this to will go away in


time. I am working again and have gone back to school to take computer


classes. Oh, by the way, I don't suffer from any more panic attacks or


depression. Looking back at my rehab I feel these doctors didn't know what


they were doing by taking me off "cold turkey". They also suggested that I


take anti-depressants and BuSpar which I refused. I felt that the only way


that I was going to make it was to NOT swallow any more pills but let my


body heal on its own. Thanks for letting me share my story.



B@@@@@@


I do not have the fatigue or nerve pain that I did when I wrote that story at my 4 year mark. The healing still continues. I don't believe we suffer permanent damage. Some of us just take longer.



Update on this story

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:36:17 -0500
Hi RUNVS,
My brain was fried, and hurting. I too was very weak, hardly able to breathe and felt my nervous system was unable to cope with anything. You are healing even though you don't notice it. As you may have read, I had a horrible withdrawal from xanax, lasting a very long time. However, the good news is that looking back it was well worth it. There is no other way but to get off all the drugs and let your body heal. As you know, "time" will heal everyone. I am now back to normal and have no more phobias/fears/depression etc.... I still exercise, and eat healthy.

Even today, I never take it for granted when I am strolling through a shopping mall, how grateful I am to feel so good and enjoy the people and crowds that I once dreaded.

B@@@@@@

[RUNVS]

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE DURATION OF POST-BENZO ILLNESS, THE POSSIBILITY OF PERMANENT AFTER-EFFECTS,
& WAYS OF LOOKING AFTER OURSELVES.

From: Will Day - social researcher, counsellor & educator in the field of Benzo Recovery (willbenzo@yahoo.com)


(NB. The following article mainly concerns those who have experienced the severe end of the benzo illness continuum, both in terms of length of illness and level of pain. These people, as far as we know, are in the minority.
If you are currently taking benzoes and are considering coming off them, or if you are in early withdrawal, please remember that the vast majority of users do not experience the severe end of the syndrome and do not experience a protracted withdrawal illness. For those who do, handrails have been carved by the women and men who have walked the path ahead of you: seek their rich and valuable assistance, whether through their various print publications, via the internet, or through word of mouth.)


“So much is unknown ‘til the time has come
Did you imagine you could ever be so strong...” Beth Orton.


I am prompted to write to BenzoProtracted to offer some thoughts regarding the duration of the protracted withdrawal syndrome. This syndrome is part of the ‘benzo illness’ continuum; a trail of pill-produced illness which can begin during benzodiazepine treatment and may continue in some form or other after withdrawing.

I appreciate that there is considerable knowledge and expertise amongst BP group members so please forgive me if some of what follows seems to be ‘chewing the chewed’.

Over the past months I have heard that certain benzo commentators in England are suggesting (once again) that the protracted, benzo withdrawal syndrome does not linger for more than two years i.e. if you are more than two years off pills and still sick, then there must be some other cause for your illness.

Such claims are nothing new and it is understandable that a well-meaning health professional or patient might come to such conclusions, simply because the benzo illness is a bewildering, confusing beast. It is still poorly understood, profoundly under-researched and easily misinterpreted.
However, my work over many years as a social researcher, educator and counsellor assisting those in recovery from benzo use has convinced me that there is no doubt that for some people the post-pill illness continues beyond the two year mark, for some considerably longer. A small percentage of people in fact seem to be left with some post-pill symptoms which, although they may improve over time, may never entirely go away.

My Background.

I feel I should tell you a bit about my background so that you can see where I’m coming from.

My work in the field began in Australia in 1989.
In 1988 I stopped taking benzoes after many years of dutiful, prescribed, daily ingestion. I had reduced my dose over several months with the wonderful assistance of Tranx, Australia’s only specialist treatment agency for those coming off benzoes. Several months off pills I began volunteering with Tranx.

The following year, with two other Tranx volunteers, I co-founded the Benzodiazepine Research Group (BRG) where I worked for 4 years undertaking social research into the experiences of those who had been prescribed benzoes. Our particular focus was the illness associated with pill use (benzo illness), the withdrawal process, and what does and doesn’t help in withdrawal/recovery. At BRG we also provided phone support to benzo sufferers and undertook community education initiatives.

My two co-workers Di Porritt and Di Russell produced the book ‘The Accidental Addict’; based on our research, it has been a great support to many who have been landed with particularly severe withdrawal syndromes.
In the mid 90’s I flew to Britain and the U.S.A to investigate the benzo scene in those parts of the world, eventually returning to Sydney, Australia to set up and co-ordinate the Benzodiazepine Resource Centre at Rockdale. The Rockdale centre operated over a two year period as an international information exchange and networking hub for health workers and benzo patients. Our project was to raise awareness, to educate and to continue gathering and exchanging information about the nature of benzo illness, the withdrawal syndrome and its treatments.

I moved away from benzo work in the late 90’s, returning to University to complete a Masters in Arts Therapy and subsequently have worked and taught in that field.

But I have kept an eye on the benzo world. I volunteered as a phone counsellor at Tranx through 2001-2003 and sat on their Board of Management through 2002 - 2004.

I continue to offer a low-key freelance service providing information and support internationally to folk struggling with nasty or prolonged withdrawal symptoms.

Duration of Post-Benzo Illness.

There have always been attempts to put an arbitrary limit on the possible duration of the post-benzo illness.

Eighteen years ago when I began gradually reducing my daily dose of oxazepam, generalist drug and alcohol services told me that once I was completely off the drugs the benzo withdrawal symptoms would last perhaps two weeks, four at the most. As I continued to slowly taper my dose (the tapering process took eleven months) I came across new, equally authoritative claims suggesting the withdrawal symptoms could continue for up to three months. And by the time I finally came off the pills altogether the goal-posts had shifted again; I was told that I could be sick for six months.

Well, the six month mark came and went in an agony of continuing symptoms.

Then a new theory emerged: it became popular to suggest patients would be sick at the rate of one month for every year they took the pills.
Nevertheless, for me and for many others of those whom I’d met in support groups and through Tranx, that deadline also came and went while our illness continued despite all our efforts to regain reasonable health.
As I approached the two year mark I heard news from overseas (England? America? I’m not sure) that the benzo illness would not last longer than two years. I clung to that.

When I hit the two year mark and was still terribly unwell, I saw red!
Why were we being fed this well meant but dangerous nonsense?
This business of incorrect withdrawal deadlines being repeatedly given and altered by various health professionals was one of the motivators for the social research we undertook all those years ago in the Benzodiazepine Research Group. The ex-patients were the ones who knew what was actually going on, and their voices weren’t being heard. The already difficult business of withdrawing from benzoes was being complicated horribly (and still is) by incorrect and anxiety producing information about withdrawal length, withdrawal symptoms and appropriate treatments.

I have worked with, advised, spoken with and met hundreds of ex-benzo patients over the years: I don’t believe there is any definitive cut-off date for post benzo illness.

Many, many sufferers are home free after a number of weeks or months, others regain good health after one or two years of illness. However for some benzo patients it takes much longer and the longer it takes the more bewildering it can become.

As life goes on, with its travails, ageing processes, illnesses and behavioural adjustments, it can become harder to differentiate between a clear, pill related effect on ones health and the effects of other life-influences. Nevertheless for some, it seems to me, the debilitating pill influence definitely continues.

I have been led to believe that the benzodiazepines tamper with the entire central nervous system, leaving certain ex-patients hypersensitive and inappropriately responsive to stimuli for years afterwards. Australian benzo expert and pioneer, psychiatrist Dr. Jean Lennane, points out that damage to fine nerve endings can take many months to heal and she wonders whether it might partly be a phenomenon of this kind that is operating in prolonged withdrawal illness.

(Certainly many simple treatments which involve fundamentally nourishing and replenishing the nervous system and gently soothing and supporting the body have been found helpful for those in recovery.)

British pioneer benzo-educator Shirley Trickett suggests another explanation for prolonged benzo illness. She has written extensively about the ex benzo patient’s susceptibility to candida, chronic fatigue syndrome and various insidious viral infections. These conditions may not strictly be benzo withdrawal ‘symptoms’ but the toxic effects of the pills can open the door to these conditions. Ms. Trickett suggests these piggy-back ailments can seriously complicate the recovery process and prolong the period of benzo-related illness. She tells us that such conditions often gain a foothold as a result of long-term benzo use, or during withdrawal, leading to difficult and stubborn ongoing health problems. (Shirley Trickett’s books outline self-help programs for these benzo-related problems as well as providing sensible practical assistance for those wishing to come off pills.)

But we still don’t know exactly what the benzoes do to the body; their subtle operations, their many long term effects and after-effects. We ex-patients are all in the process of finding our by personal experience. No pharmaceutical company has researched this area, it is still largely terra incognita.

[RUNVS]

continued....


Those who refute the idea of a prolonged benzo illness typically suggest that sufferers are blaming the benzoes when other, unrelated health problems or pre-existing psychological issues are the real cause.

This may be true in some cases. I have certainly met people, living with other health problems, who seem to me to confuse those other conditions with their benzo experiences, blaming the benzoes for symptoms which may not be attributable to the drugs.

I would imagine most weary, confused, long-term benzo sufferers have questioned at one time or another whether they might fit that scenario. In my opinion, the vast majority don’t. My experience has led me to believe that the vast majority of long-term sufferers are sick with a real benzo-related illness.

However I do think that protective behaviours learnt during the months or years of pill-taking and during early withdrawal can sometimes become hindrances as recovery progresses.

Many of us, during the months or years we were taking benzoes, were very sick with the toxic side-effects of the drugs. Many of us learnt, incorrectly, to attribute those harmful benzo effects (from anxiety to digestive problems, visual disturbances to panic attacks) to our own psychology or supposed hypochondria, so we kept on taking the pills unknowingly making our situation worse.

During those months or years on pills we may develop beliefs and coping mechanisms in order to deal with the peculiar (unrecognised) benzo illness and entrapment. Many of us, particularly if we were on benzoes for a long time, felt increasingly broken, vulnerable and full of self doubt. We learnt to be guarded, fearful and timid and were often emotionally distressed. In short, benzo use can change us and alter our behaviour!

Then, when we discover that the pills may be the problem and we decide to withdraw from them, some of us have found ourselves enduring the physical, mental and spiritual chaos of a particularly severe withdrawal illness. This can leave us profoundly frightened and shell-shocked. (N.B. appropriate support, information and GRADUAL reduction of dose ought greatly diminish severity)

In order to protect ourselves in the early days of the withdrawal illness we may have become very self protective and hypervigilant to our symptoms and anything which impacts on them. The world can seem to be packed full of things to be avoided - foods, noises, lights, textures, environments, weather, people, etc, etc. This is logical; a grossly over-sensitive and wildly over-stimulated system seeks to avoid further painful stimulations and aggravations.

But as the months and years go by, even though the post-benzo illness might still be with us in some form or other, that vigilant self-protectiveness may need to be re-examined, as may some of the beliefs and behaviours which we adopted during the period when we were still taking pills.

Much of it falls away naturally as one’s health improves however I noticed in my own case that a long time after I came off pills I still held on to a profound guardedness as I made my way through the world. This was understandable given the past trauma but now it was causing me problems. Gradually I came to see that my ongoing wariness was impeding me and, in a way, was making me feel unwell. I was subtly holding myself in a state of protective, anticipatory anxiety which was actually unnecessary and which was stopping me from experiencing some of life’s ordinary pleasures. But its a delicate dance because these learnt defenses can only be dropped when they are no longer needed and for some of us they are needed for a surprisingly long time.

For myself a significant, ongoing, part of the healing has been learning to trust the world again; in the chaos of withdrawal, so much of the world, because it was an endless source of unpredictable stimulations, seemed dangerous.

Benzo withdrawal and recovery is an individual process. The most painful or worrisome symptoms for one patient are not necessarily the dominant symptoms for the next person. While most of us who cop a bad withdrawal suffer from a bewildering array of symptoms, some of us will be chiefly plagued by muscle pain and spasm, others suffer most with forms of disorientation, depersonalisation etc., while still others find their withdrawal illness dominated by anxiety or fatigue, or ‘electric’ sensations, or digestive problems and on it goes.

And it appears that even though the benzo illness generally improves over time, a number of the benzo withdrawal symptoms, whilst gradually easing in severity, may nevertheless have the potential to become long term problems. Just how often this occurs is still unclear but anecdotally this is what we see over and over again; a small number of people finding themselves stuck with a particular symptom or cluster of symptoms for years.

For some these residual symptoms may only surface during times of stress or illness, for others they are relatively constant, either as a significant, interfering, daily reality or as a faint, niggling backnote to one’s ordinary activities. Although the accepted wisdom has been that in the vast majority of cases, even long-standing symptoms will eventually improve and in time completely disappear, it has also been thought that in certain unusual cases some long-term symptoms, though improving with the passage of time, may not entirely resolve; the implication being that any lingering residue would be relatively inconsequential.

So, you either recover completely or, if you are unlucky, you might eventually get stuck with some relatively minor, benzo memento.
But I wonder whether the passage of time is revealing another possibility?
Some of us, many, many years off pills, appear to be finding ourselves stuck with more significant ‘mementoes’; symptoms which are by no means minor.
Sure, post-benzo symptoms can sometimes take years to dissolve but when its been 15 years or more and, despite a fair degree of recovery, certain symptoms are still alive and kicking, it seems reasonable to begin wondering how much more improvement we can reasonably expect.

Permanent After-effects?

Because most people do eventually recover well, workers have tended to emphasise this fact when counselling benzo sufferers. But in doing so we run the risk of marginalising and neglecting members of our benzo family who, many, many years off pills, have not made such a successful recovery. They may well be quite few in number, and various benzo or non-benzo factors may be involved, but we don’t actually know because, to my knowledge, no systematic study of this particular population has been done.

Since last winter I have found myself in contact with four of my old benzo work colleagues from the early 1990s; three in Australia and one in Europe. Each of them is also an ex-benzo patient and each of them knows the benzo scene inside out. During the past year I also bumped into one of the research participants from my early days at the Benzo Research Group.
When I’d last been in touch with all these people, in the mid 1990s, each of us had recovered considerably from our benzo experiences. We had been slowly improving for some years and probably believed we would eventually say goodbye to benzo illness for good.

From: Will Day - social researcher, counsellor & educator in the field of Benzo Recovery (willbenzo@yahoo.com)

[RUNVS]

Its important to understand that the majority of people coming off benzos recover in a very short period of time. I know many people that had no symptoms once they stop taking benzos.

[windysan]

Originally Posted by RUNVS

Its important to understand that the majority of people coming off benzos recover in a very short period of time. I know many people that had no symptoms once they stop taking benzos.

pretty much my story and i was on major doses for a long time.

went to detox then rehab.

totally off benzos and the other garbage in 72 hours.

took a couple of weeks for the lithium, zyprexa, neurontin and other brain meds to wear off (stupid psych unit doctor !!).

i was fine in a couple of weeks.

fine today.

[RUNVS]

Dear RUNVS,

Thank you for your e-mail. Well done for getting off Ativan, although you don't mention the dose, duration of use, or reason for the prescription. However, the symptoms you describe are quite common and will undoubtedly improve. The fact that your mind is sharp again is a good sign. The bizarre sensation of being pushed or pulled as well as heaviness, has been mentioned by many others and can be quite persistent. Nevertheless, I am sure that it will gradually decline. You should take as much exercise as possible (without pushing yourself too much) in order to keep up your bodily strength. The symptoms might persist for several months yet but will eventually leave you, I am sure.

The cause of these strange symptoms is not clear but there are many benzodiazepine receptors in the cerrebellum which controls muscle movement, strength, balance and bodily orientation and it is likely that these are slower to recover than the receptors in the cerebral cortex which are involved in cognitive abilities.

With best wishes,

Yours sincerely,
C.H Ashton

[windysan]

Glad you are doing better, run. Tell everyone in benzoland that windysan says hello.

[mikiglen]

i have tapered from five mgs day xanax to one mg in the past week.
at this point i have no side effects, other than tiredness, which i attribute to the opiate wds
i have been on some type of benzo for ptsd for around three years, almost daily.
i am hoping to be off completely this week, and really hoping there will be no withdrawals. i have no experience with coming off benzos, so may be naive here.....
i will read this thread later, glad it is here

[LIL_Pebbles]

I'm as of now in battle of tapering off Percocete, from 5-10 a day for two years, any way...I am on Xanax for panic and anxiety plus I am a Agoraphobic...I never abused Xanax until the month of september and October, i was crushing them into crushed perc's and sniffing them and why? to enhance the drug, i ran low on xanax these months and had to do with 1x/day that was my rock bottom, well part of it and now? I have read on here more about Xanax and since i have been on this since 1986, yeah that long i would have to go into a hospital to get off them or a taper down, my new shrink is old and i do not like him nor trust him, other doctor may not be able to practice for he was not putting enough info in patients files.records...
once I am done with this taper off and back to some normacy i plan to taper down from 4 mgs a day to one and then on...On my own, I do not trust doctors Xanax is a drug of the 80's/and the 90's then came Prozac, for me? the Prozac worked, then did **** for me and increase was not enough to help me.

Being in fear and being a slave to a drug scares me too much and that is good. The entire time i was mentaly knumb i thought I was bigger than those soild whites, I thought well if I went Cold Turkey I would just get the flu like issues, how wrong I was just a taper down was bad and I have learned that everyone is different in ways of withdrawl, the time frame is not a week, so i thought it took me two weeks for my mind/CNS to get used to the 1 and 1/2 and now? the same with the one a day. Sorry for rambling, but my rock bottom had alot to do with me abusing Xanax those two months out of over a decade never did...

[Barto]

I made it six months w/o benzos, and then decided to start on a low dose to quiet my tinnitus and pretty severe anxiety. Xanax is the only drug I read about that is clinically proven to help reduce tinnitus. Isn’t that a bitch? It seems to be working, though, somewhat. At least on my anxiety, which is mostly gone. And my tinnitus is somewhat quieter, too. Not quite sure if this is the result of the Xanax because the tinnitus comes and goes anyway.

I am starting to think that I should have listened to my doctor before stopping the benzos last time around. He didn't want me to quit until I resolved some life issues (relationship and work stuff, mainly). I am now taking 1.25mg. Xanax a day (+ or - .25mg). I have been prescribed 1.5mg. BTW, I have always taken benzos as prescribed.

Since re-starting (re-instating?), I have been able to do much more in terms of getting out of the house, going to meetings, and living life. Still I know I am not as sharp as I was before I started benzos. So, I believe I will have to stop at some point. Or should I say that I want to stop eventually.

Today is day 7 off coffee and all caffeine (minus some fudge I had today). I want to stay off coffee and caffeine for at least three more days to see how it actually affects me. I have read that it takes up to ten days to withdraw from, and then another 30 days to recover from. At least I may have a better idea what it does and doesn’t do to me soon.

Truthfully, at this stage, I don’t know if coffee is all that bad. I do believe it is a drug and hard on the body when you constantly quit it and start it again. It is much better to stay on it or stay off it than to continuously quit it.

Additionally, caffeine w/d is pretty tough. The first few days being the worst. I was dead tired, and had headache and sever brain fog. I am feeling better today, as I did yesterday. I thought that the coffee was creating a desire for Xanax, but I am not so sure now. And, believe it or not, I suspect coffee might help quiet my tinnitus. I also still suspect it might worsen my anxiety. I’ll try to report back in case anyone is interested.

Also, I will probably start to taper Xanax again soon. No crossover. I’m going straight from Xanax (despite my earlier posts), very slowly, .25 to .125 bi-weekly or per month, maybe.

Good to see everyone is alive and posting. You know they let me into the uk benzo.org website at some point. I am not sure when. I logged on the other day though, and there I was, on the inside.