Anyone had this happen after so long?

[Jared112987]

I had been clean for 8 1/2 after living a life of drugs, sex and money and made a complete turn around. I've been accepted to 6 colleges already and I have a 4.0 GPA for this last sem in school. I also relapsed a little over a month ago. All for no reason at all just because I knew I was off probation and felt like goin out with my friends and getting baked. Well I got baked alright and I havent stoped since that night. I had a quarter pound a week pot habit b4 I firtst got clean, and I mad a chart just for the hell of it a few days ago and I've come to the stunning conclusion that I've smoked 3 ounces of pot in 5 days. I jumped back into this sh*t with 2 feet in again within a matter of one hit what are the chances of gettin clean again? I'm not even sure if I wanna get clean again I've had so much fun lately. I had no fun for 8 1/2 months I just achieved a sh*t load of stuff. I dunno Im just wondering if this has happened to anyone here?

[windysan]

never had a pot problem. sorry. surely someone will come along and answer you.

[bikewench]

Hey Jared..

Good to see you again...

So... off floating on that green cloud again.. ;o)

Well..
don't let it lull you into false complacency.

Just this statement alone...

I'm not even sure if I wanna get clean again I've had so much fun lately. I had no fun for 8 1/2 months

Your attaching your ability to have fun to a substance.
Not good.

8 1/2 months I just achieved a sh*t load of stuff.

So there you go.

Some people can achieve a balance in their lives where they are just fine straight... and can put pleasure in it's proper perspective.

Some people get lost.. and stay lost.



Worth the energy to find out..?? ;o)

[michski]

Hi Jared.

Your story sounds all too familiar. I would say you're not finished getting stoned and screwing up your life. I sincerely hope you don't have to put "how low can you go" to a personal test!

Sex, drugs and rock and roll aren't going anywhere EVER.. so why not complete the good start you've made for yourself and then go back to smoking pot if that's still what you want to do? Make a good decision for yourself! That's what life's about.

[skunkape]

Jared you need to get honest with yourself and really think about what you are doing. The drugs are going to feel like the right thing to do, but the path is hopeless my friend. If you have stopped smoking pot for awhile only to get back into it heavier, than you have established the sure path of the addict. Don't take the path my friend, the highs will lead you to the lowest of lows.

[MagdaM]

SOB a QP/week! Hells man i smell the cancer from here. Cut down a little at least okay? take out like an1/8 a week and see how you get along? Also you don't wanna get caught with several ounces...that;s no fun. A bunch of my freinds just got busted so its fresh in my mind--they're getting harsher and harsher, don't mess. And alos think about the mad money you're spending getting baked. I've never had a problem with weed though I smoke plenty of it so I don't know how it feels to feel really out of control with it--butr like with anything else you just have to realize when the bad outweighs the good so much you just can't justify it anymore. hope all goers well for you man.

[Jane63]

Jared,
Kind of sounds like a form of "Senioritis" to me which all the kids who will be graduating soon here seem to have including my own daughter! She is not smoking pot or anything but is having alot of fun partying and not working as hard as usual...Also keeping a 4.0 and already accepted into a college so she says she is going to relax abit and have some fun her last couple of months of high school.
I will tell you what I tell her...just remember to NOT defeat everything that you have worked so hard for, which we know can be gone from us in the blink of an eye! Yes, have some fun but keep those goals in mind and keep working towards them!

If you quit once you can do it again and believe me, smoking pot might seem motivating now but it soon becomes more of a burden than what you think is 'helping' you! Think about the consequences if you get caught again, how it will affect your last days of HS and college entry, and how those around you that have seen you turn around will feel!
Once summer comes HS will be but a memory! Take this time to get involved, go to games and cheer your schools team on, wear school colors, get silly and have fun! Might sound abit 'corny' but once you get to be my age you will wish you had those years back!
It really sounds like you've a very promising future ahead so please don't screw it up! You already know you can do it without the drugs so give it another try and stay focused!
{{HUGS}}
Jane

[REZ]

By the way you talk about what YOU accomplished it sounds like you were staying clean on your own, without the benefit of NA or another 12-step program. I know that I can't do this alone. I needed help and I found it in NA. It saved my life and could save yours.

[Jared112987]

Well... I just got in from a get together and I'm feelin pretty nice. I hear what everyone's sayin deep down I can feel that sober me but he just cant seem to make it out. I know the risks I was already busted with several ounces in several bags. I'm not stupid at what I'm doing I never was I might have gotten careless but never stupid. I never carry much with me and never to school so if I get busted it's my own fault and it will be for a misdemeanor. I had no fun and now Im having it. I wish I could have the best of both worlds but I cant. I wanna get clean deep down and go back to how it was fdor those 8 1/2 months but I really dont at the same time.

[tyler]

Originally Posted by Jared112987

I had been clean for 8 1/2 after living a life of drugs, sex and money and made a complete turn around. I've been accepted to 6 colleges already and I have a 4.0 GPA for this last sem in school. I also relapsed a little over a month ago. All for no reason at all just because I knew I was off probation and felt like goin out with my friends and getting baked. Well I got baked alright and I havent stoped since that night. I had a quarter pound a week pot habit b4 I firtst got clean, and I mad a chart just for the hell of it a few days ago and I've come to the stunning conclusion that I've smoked 3 ounces of pot in 5 days. I jumped back into this sh*t with 2 feet in again within a matter of one hit what are the chances of gettin clean again? I'm not even sure if I wanna get clean again I've had so much fun lately. I had no fun for 8 1/2 months I just achieved a sh*t load of stuff. I dunno Im just wondering if this has happened to anyone here?

Hey Jarred, I think we've talked before, and yes I've done what you are describing many many times. I was about an oz a week smoker for 18 years and just recently have climbed back on the waggon. I too had about 8 months and just said what the heck, I can handle it!! It only took two bags before I was back to an oz a week and wanting more. I'm pretty sure I've shared my story with you and I was where you are at your age. At that age, I could handle it, but one day you look around you and you are 37 years old, and you are just a *ucking pothead who has made nothing of his life and *issed most everything away that was really important. Man I see so much of myself in your posts it's scary. I know when I was 19 nobody could tell me anything because I had all of the answers. I'm not saying that is you, but of all of the things I've done in life, if I could take one back, I'd have never taken that first hit. It completely derailed my life. I wish you the best man. I really hope you don't have to go through what I've had to endure before you figure things out. PM me if you ever want to talk. Take care.

[Alera]

Just wondering Jared112987. If everything is going so well, why are you posting here? Is it perhaps because everything is not as peachy keen as you think?

[Jane63]

Well... I just got in from a get together and I'm feelin pretty nice. I hear what everyone's sayin deep down I can feel that sober me but he just cant seem to make it out. I know the risks I was already busted with several ounces in several bags. I'm not stupid at what I'm doing I never was I might have gotten careless but never stupid. I never carry much with me and never to school so if I get busted it's my own fault and it will be for a misdemeanor. I had no fun and now Im having it. I wish I could have the best of both worlds but I cant. I wanna get clean deep down and go back to how it was fdor those 8 1/2 months but I really dont at the same time.

Jared...this reply left me quite sad! It's not so much about 'not getting caught' or 'not being stupid' but the fact that you are doing something that is illegal, bad for you and that you were doing just fine without!
Doesn't it make more sense to just stop now before getting in deep and putting yourself through the misery of getting back out again?
Please Think about it!
{{HUGS}}
Jane

[PlanoTexican]

Sounds to me like you have it all figured out.

Happy Trails.

When the trail gets less than happy, and it will, you know where we are.