Broken

[roses2005]

Hi everyone,
The last time I posted was about five days ago on "MARKS" forum, and apparently he is away until after the New year ( good for him!!! )I was sooooooo broken. My story goes as follows....Some evil person whom to this day I dont know who ( have an idea though ), made a bogus phone call to DCF implying that they arrived at my home and I was lying on my couch, high on drugs, with a lit cigarette in my hand that was burning the couch, while my five year old played in the sink with knives, now of course there was not one ounce of truth to any of that story, however a little over a year ago, that very well could have happened. My world that day I felt was spinning out of control.

I celebrated one year of sobriety on sept 18, 2004. The day DCF showed up at my house to investigate these claims I almost had a nervous breakdown. Thank god my son was with his uncle spending the day. I was shaking out of control, ugly crying ( sobbing ) and all I wanted to do that day was use, use, use.My disease was yelling at me saying " JUST DO IT JENNIFER, THEY THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY"

The day I posted on that forum, I realy didnt know what I was going to do.With help from my friends, husband, and of course people at SR, I made it to a meeting, infact I attended three that day, and two that evening. My sponser spent the night at my home and we talked about everything.
Ilearned that day that in the blink of an eye, your life can change for the worse or for the better. I will never take my recovery for grantite .
Thanks to everyone I have such a grip on reality, and my life as I know it.They say this disease is cunning and baffling, ....well.....I saw it first hand, and because I have been sooooo true to myself and my sobriety, I can honestly say today Im clean and tomorrow is another day and whatever that brings.....IM READY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRING IT ON!!!! HAPPY SAFE AND SOBER NEW YEAR EVERYONE AT SOBER RECOVERY!!!!LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
Jennifer ( roses2005 ) :bbe: :abg:

[Done-With-It]

WOW
JENNIFER
:bbe:
That is one awesome story!
I think a lot like you do,
First your sig. is one of my FAVORITE all time sayings.
I repeat it in my head when others try and get the best of me.
It works and is sooo true.
Then just like you did hearing the evil man upstairs telling you to
USE USE USE
they already think you are.
Oh that would be something I would so think.
I remember being just a few weeks clean and this one
guy, Man.. Oh JERK.
And a situation with him occured and I was able to laugh
and we came upstairs and laughed even more.
Had I been using I probably would have cried and done more lines.

I'm sorry something like this had to happen, but isn't it a great feeling to
be able to look anyone in the face and say,
Uh, I'm NOT using ya moron.
Are you?

When stuff like that happens.
ya gotta love being clean from your demon of choice.

I am so proud of you for not using and taking control
of that situation and not letting the situation
take control of you.
Your an inspiration to me.

Thank you for posting this.

[roses2005]

Hey,
Thanks alot for the support. The feeling of serenity I have right now, I could never get out of any bag or drink. Just for today, I dont have to use, and If I feel this way tomorrow, then tomorrow will be the same and so on and so forth.
Im chairing two meetings this evening, and BOY do I have alot to be grateful for.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! JENNIFER

[kellie351969]

jennifer

in 2002 my children were taken after they had gotton several calls on me at the time i was doing crack but my doc has always been pain pills or any pill for that matter well i stopped smoking crack the day they took my kids out of my home but i went crazy because my doc was prescribed in went into it head first nothing they could do right ? wrong my kids still live with thier aunt and it really sucks. i have now been of my doc for 72 days and it is so hard but worth the work i so wish i would of been as strong as you were EXCELLENT JOB. keep it up. it took me almost dying to get me here i wish i could of found this strength years ago. happy new year

[roses2005]

Hey Kelli,
Some words of encouragement.....I could have very well lost my son in 2004, before I got clean. If it hadnt been for the network of people that helped me out of the rut, things could be real different right now. Keep your chin up high, stay clean, and be your beautiful real self, and believe me....NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU!!
Your kids will be there. There watching you fight for them RIGHT NOW!And at least there with someone you know. They could very well be lost somewhere in the system.
Stay true to yourself Kellie, and miracles will happen. It took ALOT of work, heartache, and pain for me to get to where I am right now, and believe me, Im not exempt from it happening again. My guard is ALWAYS up, and will remain up for the rest of my life. I will always be powerless over my addiction, but not powerless over the decesions I must make on a day to day basis. Always be careful of your surroundings.You have to do the natural, and believe me , your higher power WILL do the supernatural. I will keep you in my prayers Kellie. Hang tough and tight!!!!!!! Have a sober and safe New Year, and see you in 2006!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thank s Again! Jennifer

[Done-With-It]

Good luck tonight! You'll do great

[toforever]

roses2005, so glad you are doing well, and glad you did it right so you know everything is real and free!!!

Originally Posted by roses2005

well.....I saw it first hand, and because I have been sooooo true to myself and my sobriety, I can honestly say today Im clean and tomorrow is another day and whatever that bringsJennifer ( roses2005 ) :bbe: :abg:

Bradley

[Done-With-It]

Checking in too see how you are???? ;-)