Speeding And Can't Stop

[SODAPOP73]

Hey everyone My wife guided me to this site in hopes I'll get some feed back and some help. I'm 32 and I've been hooked on speed for about a year and a half, I'm a very prideful person who grew up doing many sports and always stayed away from the drug scene until a year or so ago and ever since then I can't kick it. I do for a moment then it has me again, but now it's ruining my family and I'm taking down my business slowly, I wanted to kill myself the other day and my wife can't stop crying, I love my family oh so much but why can't I stop, I want it now and I need help.

[best]

The good news... There is a way out and people take the path and get clean every day.

A good place to start looking for the answers and support would be at NA meetings.
You may want to look into drug rehabs. BUT I can't afford the time away from the job, you would say.

Drugs and alcohol are progressive in nature. If you don't take the time to deal with things now, it can progress into a point that you end up with no job or family.
A serious commitment and desire to stop will get you where you need get to.

[SODAPOP73]

I currently live in Ensenada mexico and theres no na out here and I don't speak spanish so it puts me in a bind but most of all I'm scared but I know I need help

[Sugah]

I'd be really surprised if you can't find an English speaking AA meeting. I go to AA...though I consider myself a member of both fellowships. When I got clean, it was from opiates, coke, benzo's & pot with very little alcohol in the mix. It's all the same....substitute "all drugs" in your mind when they speak of alcohol. The steps are essentially the same, and I love the Big Book for teaching me program.

If English AA is available and you're willing to do anything to get clean, then this is a viable alternative.

I'll pray for you, too.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[best]

Look about here. Read the posts that say "sticky" beside them at the tops of the boards. There is a group called Smart recovery. I believe they do on line meetings.


As you look to stop, deal with things...One day at a time.

I can stay free and clean for this moment..get through the moment and when the next moment or day arrives... focus on staying clean for that day only.
Small bites we can handle better then a full plate.

[best]

Have a look about here...
The NA web page

http://www.na.org/

[Done-With-It]

Hello there,

I read your post and I can totally relate. I was always the good girl, sporty, happy go lucky, Drugs? ME? NO WAY NEVER.. Drinking was
the only thing I ever did and smoked a hit from a joint every once in
awhile. But I could take or leave both of those. I was afraid of drugs.
Then situations occured and I tried speed for the first time, and
OH HELLO...... HAPPY FRIGGIN NEW YEAR TO ME.. It was lovely.
I of course moved onto Ice. It got to the point that it didn't work for
me as good as it once did, I was going to , start shooting it up, or
smoking it, or just kill myself. I hate needles, that was out, smoking
it I knew if I did that, I'd die soon anyways.

I decided to just try and quit doing meth and see if it helped me.
I will have 7 weeks on Tuesday. I don't go to NA, and I chose to not let
people know what was going on with me. So I came to the meetings online here and talked and talked. The beginning IS tough. It's hard and the emotions come out like crazy, your up and down, Just all over the map.
It didn't take long before I was just happy the majority of the time.
I am usually having fun when I'm on here, and I use this place to help me get throught the urges.

So in an eggshell what I'm saying is that YOU CAN do this. You can give up speed and get your life back. I promise you it's possible. On my 5th week here I left a post saying that I decided to run the marathon in March.

I am not sure what will work for you, for me I just made a plan, I decided to manage myself in a different way than I had been doing.

If my first plan didn't work, I'd try a different one. If I had to go to NA
60/60 I would have. My first plan has been working great, but it's been hard, it's a lot of work to look inside yourself and to let go of the stuff inside of you. But it's possible.

You can do it without a rehab, or you can go into rehab. I didn't think I could do it without rehab, but I did. There is so much help out there now, it's just waiting for people to take it.

I found a ton of rehabs that looked pretty good, if you want I can send you some info.

Whatever you do, just get off of that stuff, those suicidal thoughts only get worse, and they tell you things that aren't true.
And believe me NO ONE would be better off without you. The thoughts like that are lies, just lies..

I'm just a pm box away if you ever want to talk. And if it's full? Just try again. The boxes here fill up fast. ;-)

Hang in there sweetie, You will get through this.

[roses2005]

Hey soda,
hey, the first and hardest thing was admitting you have a problem. Hats off to you for that!!Life is funny, and it will throw you curve balls, however, I am 37 years young,
I am a cross addicted addict in recovery, but the one thing I NEVER wanted to do was take my own life ( as bad as it has gotten and believe me, the stories would blow your mind ), my 83 year old very WISE father drilled into my head from the time I was a teenager and I quote " no matter how bad you think it may be, its going to get better eventually. Maybe not over night, maybe not in a week, hey maybe not even a month, BUT IT WILL!!!!!!! Your family needs you, and as harsh as it may sound in my opinion suicide, is a selfish cop out. Think about it, your gone and your family is left with tons of guilt and unanswered questions. Im really not trying to make you feel bad , and I pray that you dont, but talk it out, scream it from rooftops, ugly cry, do what you have to to stick around. I promise you, things will work out. Stay true to yourself. It sounds to me like you have a wonderful wife, who obviously cared enough to send you to SOBER RECOVERY!!( great move by the way )You did the right thing by going to your family and coming to us. It is a cry for help, and we are here to help you.
I have only been on these boards since November, and the changes Ive made in that little time with SR, speaks volumes. Soda, I will pray for you daily, and will ask my family to do the same. THIS TO SHALL PASS!!!!!!!! Keep us posted, and dont disappear, we will worry!! try and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR, Jennifer

[Christian]

Hey there all

I pretty much stopped smoking METH/ICE (everything really) after I had a brain hemmorage that almost killed me. Brain Hemmorage/stroke at age 21, good stuff.

Nowadays, 5 years later, my life is pretty #$% lately, really bad thoughts, cant get any motivation to do anything, severe depression, sometims nausea. Jeeze its freaking hard looking at all my friends have wonderful lives now, and I'm struggling to take one day at a time.

Anyways, just know, that anything you do with drugs is FAKE. Anything you acomplish is counterfeit, so, you just gotta stop man. I had a brain hemmorage, lucky to be alive, you'll have stroke, the more you keep using, the worse your life will be overall. Meth is the worst drug man you gotta quit and be strong.

[T1]

I got into the drug scene about the same age as you. I played tons of sports, was in great shape, and never even considered drugs but I ended up doing some ecstasy for a couple years, quit that an ended up getting hooked on opiates. I felt like you, and knew it was going to eventually ruin my family. That was my motivation and I hope it is for you. If you really care about them then you gotta stop now. Do what ever it takes.

[KelKel]

Soda and Christian
Glad you two are here!

[Done-With-It]

I don't think Soda is doing too good. He hasn't replied since the night when it was looking really bad. I'm a bit scared.

[veryscared]

Do whatever it takes is right. No one here ever thought they could have gotten out of the mess they were in but we did and we do on a daily struggle. Your business will go down quicker than you think and so will everything that means anything in your life. It reallyis hard to quit and almost impossible at times, but you have to find something worth quitting for. For me it was my children, I decided they love me and it is not thier fault I am a worthless addict they deserved better than that. It will hurt and it will be physically and mentally challenging but the pride you will have for yourself afterwards will be priceless. I know I want to tell the world how clean I am but I can't because I hid it from most of the world. Sometimes death seems to be an option but then you need to find that motivation and realize it is never an option. Good luck and decide to quit NOW, don't rationalize why you want to wait. You already know what damage it is doing. Remember you should get medical advice as well. It can also be dangerous to stop cold turkey depending on the dosage and frequency you do it. GOOD LUCK and may GOD be with you.

[Done-With-It]

Bumps for soda pop..... Has anyone heard anything? I hope he's okay.

[lisa28]

please help. I've been abusing opiates and amphetamines for a very long time and I'm terrified of stopping. I suffer from severe depression and self harm.how long do withdrawals last for?I live with my family but nobody knows my problem. I feel so afraid and alone.any advice would be appreciated. God bless.

[Done-With-It]

Lisa, do you know how to start a thread? If not I'll start it for you. Hang on people wil be here to help.

[bdjenkins03@yah]

dude you need to step to the plate and get help. if not for yourself then your family. dont let this drug habit run your life and because if it does the ending will not be plesent. you have admitted you need help and that is a great first step. This problem needs to be taken care of now. not later now. you need to stay away from those that lead you to take speed and get help. we support you and are her for you. there is life without drugs and it seems you been there before. help yourself out and get professional help.