sobriety slipping away

[ARWhatnot]

i just found this site, and have spent quite a bit of time reading stories. what a resource! i've been having a rough time the past few weeks and am looking for support.

my story briefly:
DOC: booze, percocets and pot.
i went through inpatient and outpatient treatment 7 months ago, stumbled and slipped my way until 4 months ago. i have not taken a drink since 8/11/05 and have no desire to drink. so that's a positive. however, i recently had my wisdom teeth pulled and the doc RX'd hydrocodone. i took them as prescribed for 2 days after surgery and then did not need them anymore for pain. i SHOULD have flushed them, but i didn't. i then called my doc and told him that the pain wasn't better, and he refilled the script. my grandfather is in town, had surgery and has percocets. i took some. i took a lot. i stole from my own grandfather. just sick.

i was reading online about alternative treatments for alcoholism and stumbled upon psychoactive drugs such as LSD or mushrooms as treatment, to allow for introspection to try to understand more about yourself and possible sources of addiction. typing this sober makes me appalled at how absurd that suggestion is. yet, i bought psychotropic mushroom spores online and tried to grow them. i just threw out the jars used to grow the mushrooms (never took any, they didn't grow). but, my folks saw the jars this weekend when they were caring for my cats while i was out of town. they asked me about them, and i lied, saying that it was a christmas present that i was making for my mother. i told them it was a fungus that grows colored and beautiful like a moss and i was putting it in a beautiful pot. they believed me, or at least said they did.

i am absolutely torn up right now. i want to tell them the truth, but i am so ashamed and don't want to hurt them again. please help

[Evanna]

Welcome ARWhatnot. Sounds like you've been having a crazy old time of it. Glad you found this forum as you will find plenty of support here.

Warmest wishes
Evanna.

[ARWhatnot]

thanks!

so i called my dad and told him the truth. he was very supportive. i am going to be making some calls tomorrow to be referred to a good substance abuse counselor in town. it will be nice to have some 1 on 1 along with meetings.

i hope...

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by ARWhatnot

i am going to be making some calls tomorrow to be referred to a good substance abuse counselor in town. it will be nice to have some 1 on 1 along with meetings.

Great! Meetings, getting a sponsor, working the steps, using the tools and working an honest program of recovery is what got and keeps me clean and sober. Can you get to a meeting tonight?

Welcome to SR, ARWhatnot. Glad you're here.

[REZ]

SR offers some good online support but it is no substitute for live, flesh and blood people. The formula for recovery is pretty simple: don't no matter what, go to meetings (many of them), get a sponsor, work the steps, pray/meditate, hang out with clean people, and get involved in service work. If you practice this simple program, you will receive insights about yourself way beyond what you might find from psychadelic drugs.

[KelKel]

Hi and welcome aboard....
Interesting reading your post.... glad you were honest with your Dad.
I think you are going to like it here....