 |
|---|
 |
 |
 |
| | |
|
Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
| | Narcotics Addiction 12 Steps
|
| |||||||
 |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
10-18-2005, 09:49 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Ontario
Posts: 4
| I f**ked up
I smoked a joint today. Well, a half a joint, with a friend of mine. I dont think I have ever felt as ashamed of myself as I do right now. The tears have been flowing steadily, so bad that my keyboard is a blurr. I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I know I dissapointed my husband and that f**king kills me! It's my first pot joint in 7 days. I should try to look on the bright side. I used to smoke a half quarter of pot a day. I smoked that joint today, and I actually felt better. I felt like I didnt need it as much and it kinda took my mind off it, because I was stoned. See, I can realize the bright side, but I sure as hell dont feel any better. I hate that I feel like I have disappointed my husband. The man gives me everything, loves me more than I even know. I just hate myself so much right now. I hate the fact that I am so dependant on this stupid f**king drug. I hate myself for letting myself get like this. I am sorry, I am feeling so sorry for myself, but I dont know what else to do. I feel so alone.
|
|      |
|
10-18-2005, 09:57 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,886
|
Hey I know it's difficult to have that guilt of disappointing our loved ones. But when you concentrate on doing this 100% for you and for no one else you'll find your in a better, stronger, more courageous role to be accepting of your decisions. Now don't dwell on this as tomorrow is another day.
|
|
| |
|
10-18-2005, 11:09 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| You're never alone!!  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,195
|
Hey Jen,, You smoke a joint, well, you made it 7 days without smoking a joint, and you stopped at one!! Tell me prior to 7 days ago, would you have stopped at one? Yep, you smoked one, but it's progress, right.. Not perfection, but progress.. Keep working on it, rather than beating yourself up so badly for using, look at the fact that you did stop at one.. You'll get it. Do you have support? Other than your Husband? It's great to have the support of your Hubby, but it usually takes more, especially if you are stopping because of guilt?? this has to be about you, liek Chy said,, so make it about you, make it the most important thing in the world TO YOU, and FOR YOU.. You'll get it.. Hang in there hun,, Lots of love, Becky
__________________  ™Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.  |
|
| |
|
10-19-2005, 03:40 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| "The BAND" workshop ROCKS!  Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,489
|
Guilt over using is good. It means that we are screwing with your buzz. Pretty soon you won't even think about that joint. Seriously. Just keep working your program. Try to think back to why you used this time and post about it. Get it out of your head, then avoid that situation or person next time. After a while, the reasons for using will mostly go away. Then we'll work on how you react to those situations so when an opportunity does come up (and it will), you will know how to react better. But good job for putting that one down and coming here to SR.
__________________ Roadie read about my adventures in trying to stay clean in sober in 'I'm ALIVE' in the Substance Abuse Forum.. |
|
| |
|
| Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Linear Mode
