I dont know anymore

[sinidox]

Hey guys, I dont even know if im in the right forum, but here goes. I really dont know what my problem is im 27 years old and have been married for over a year now. Ive been doing drugs, almost everything i could get my hands on since i was 15. The thing is i have always been able to keep it under control until now. At first it was just something fun to do when i was young but now i have to have something, no matter what it is to feel "normal". I dont know what to do anymore I take tabs two weeks at a time along with xanax then run out then run and get more from friends which is killing my money. My wife has noticed and does nothing, she dosent even drink. The other day i gave her what i had and told her not to give them to me until i really needed them, shes been with me through wd's before, but she caved the first time i asked for them. Its been a day with no tabs i have a few zannies left so im now right at this moment sucking the bottom out of a jim beam bottle. I just dont know why i have to always be under the infulence of something. ive missed 3 days of work this time from wd's and i cant keep doing this. I guess i just needed to get this off my chest i just dunno what to do anymore

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by sinidox

The thing is i have always been able to keep it under control until now. At first it was just something fun to do when i was young but now i have to have something, no matter what it is to feel "normal".

Welcome, Sinidox.

The disease of addiction is progressive. We start by taking the drugs, then one day wake up to find the drugs taking us.

There is hope. I found recovery in the rooms of NA and AA. I couldn't do it alone and you don't have to either. There are people who understand because they've been there and they can help you find a way out of the ever widening circle of addition you're caught in. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Hang in there and keep posting, ok?

Hugs,

phinny

[sinidox]

thank you for responding..i will keep posting, the next few day will be really bad for me and i need someone to talk to that knows what im going through. My wife tries but she has never been exposed to the things that i have. To add to my other post im also on prozac and have had really bad depression for as long as i can remember. i smoked pot since 15 and at one point almost everyday for 7 years. For some reason it was easy for me to stop smoking, i reallly dunno why. The oxys and tabs and the xanax are what are killing me. I dont know how to get away from them when my doc my friends and my coworkers always have some, the temptation is to great and i dont know what to do. This is the first time ive ever been on a fourm like this and i feel like this will help but i dont think it will be enough. Anyway thank you all for listening to me.

[Phinneas]

Originally Posted by sinidox

This is the first time ive ever been on a fourm like this and i feel like this will help but i dont think it will be enough.

It may not be enough, sinidox. Are you really done? If so, please get to a Dr. to help you detox and get to a meeting for support. The people in those meetings know what you're going through because they've been there. They can show you a way to get clean and sober and stay that way. There is help out there. We do recover.

Hugs,

phinny

[sinidox]

I know i do have a problem and i AM ready to quit but it is so hard. I know i have a problem and i am ready to quit

[ragidiman]

alcohal and benzos are not a good match
It is dangerous to try and detox off this combo on Ur own.
It would be a good idea to get some profesional help with this.
Talk to a DR. to start with but only if Ur serious about quiting
the drugs. I know what U mean about work place, same here.
Iv been clean now for 43 days and still haven't went back to
work yet. But I cant worry about that now I must stay focused
on stayin clean and be positive abuot my sobriaty before I
go back there if I choose to.


Any way thats just me and my opinion
and good luck

[angelgirl]

Originally Posted by ragidiman

alcohal and benzos are not a good match
It is dangerous to try and detox off this combo on Ur own.
It would be a good idea to get some profesional help with this.
Talk to a DR. to start with but only if Ur serious about quiting
the drugs. I know what U mean about work place, same here.
Ive been clean now for 43 days and still haven't went back to
work yet. But I can't worry about that now I must stay focused
on stayin clean and be positive abuot my sobriety before I
go back there if I choose to.


Any way thats just me and my opinion
and good luck

Sinidox,
Ragman gave you some great advice...
I want to say WELCOME to SR, congrats on your decision to
do something about your drug/alch problems. It a rough road, BUT, it can be done, that I can promise you, but you have to be very willing, just as others here have said. If you have tried to clean yourself up on your own, then you know just how hard it is to do,,
YOU should NOT detox off either ALCOHOL or BENZO'S on your own, it's very dangerous!!! Really it is. There is detox centers available for you just for this reason,,, You need help, you should not do this on your own. I don;t know how many benzo's you normally take, or how long you have been taking them on a regular basis? have you been taking them since you were 15, on a regular basis??
I have been in many hospital detoxes, they make it very easy,. compared to what you deal with at home, on your own,,, Replacing alcohol when youdon't have the benzo's is also extremely dangerous. I am not just trying to scare you, although it is really scarey, but I also want you to understand your real need for hospital help. They are equipped to handle this.. Let them do it for you..

I am an addict. I have been clean for 6 months. It has not been easy, but it is SO worth the battle. Look at your wonderful wife, she needs you to get help, YOU need YOU to get help..
I lost a great job, drove my family into finacial ruins, and hurt most everyone I know,. I stole from anyone I could get pills from. My drug of choice is PAIN KILLERS... Killers is right, that's what they should be called, for addicts who abuse them. My family has stood by me, through all the trip to the hospital, which were many, the ambulance trips, the treatments, the relapses, just plain the real mess I made, that we are still struggling to get out of.. BUT, today I am clean, it's all that really matters. My family loves me, and only wants for me to stay clean,, and work on the reason that I felt life was so bad, that I had to numb everyday, from before I even got out of bed ( because I was to sick to get out of bed until I got the drugs in me, and I waited a while, until they took ahold of the body, and mental pain I had. I was so out of it, ALL of the time, I have years that are just big black out, YEARS.
I am 37. I have 4 kids, and a husband, luckily I still (so far) have a house.
I am lucky, I hit bottom.

Look up a local crisis hotline in your town, call them, they should be able to direct you to some detox facilities, and some treatment.. There is NA/AA, Celebrate Recovery (if you have a meeting like that where you live)..

We at SR are behind ya 100% of the way. Please do yourself a favor, check into some help. Search for help, as hard as you'd search for drugs, if you weren't able to find them.... If you do that, you'll find help.
Keep us posted, we are truly a caring group,,,
You have found the right place to be,, SR,,
We care,
Becky
PS- It might do some good to have your wife read and post in the nar-anon board. She will also need support. This affects her alot also, as you know. She needs to take care of her, and get support for her.. Please show her the way to the nar-anon board...