I tried - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

tyler · 10-09-2005, 07:20 PM

I tried, it really doesn't matter any more. I tried as hard as I could, but it wasn't enough. I just messed up too much before and can't fix it now. I guess I knew that it was going to be that way, but I hopeded I could fix it. I guess I can't. Sorry I let you all down. Bye.

***Time2Surrender*** · 10-09-2005, 07:26 PM

Try again Tyler.I can assure you from personal experience,as long as we are still breathing it's never to late.Hang in there.I joined this site last October.I have less than 6 months.I didn't get it right away myself.I kept going back for a little more misery.I never gave up.Stick around.

**BigSis** · 10-09-2005, 07:34 PM

Tyler - your posts have brought me a greater understanding of the struggle. Please know you have made a difference here. For my sake (hey, even we Alanons are all about me!), I hope you can return soon.

roadie58 · 10-09-2005, 07:53 PM

Tyler. Just a little setback thats all. Man, you've helped me more times than you can count on one hand. What am I gonna do without you around here.

Try telling us about it, get it out of your head. Only 3 more hours until a new day. It'll be a fresh start. If I could get fixed, you can too. Don't give up now. Maybe you just needed a little more proof of unmanageability.

stormyautumn · 10-09-2005, 07:55 PM

I agree with what everyone said, I had three months and just flushed it down the toilet the other night. I posted a long one about it in the newcomers forum, it helped to get it out.

UrbanFool · 10-09-2005, 08:14 PM

Tyler? You around? You've also helped me more than you could ever know. Hope all is going okay.

Kelly

hopealwayz · 10-09-2005, 08:17 PM

It is never too late so please don't give up the hope. Don't let a set back hold you back. Get right back up and keep trying.
There are endless possibilities in the light of a new day.

angelgirl · 10-09-2005, 09:18 PM

TYLER---

What's up bud??

C'mon, talk to us please,,,,,
I am here for you, so is everyone else.. Is there something, anything at all that we
can do.. I love ya Tyler.. We have been here with some others through so much crap,,
what ever it is that you are going through, is another one of those things we go through..
I seen on a diffeent post you said "she" in your post,,,, What happened? Is this about
your Ex? If so, Tyler, she is not worth your sobriety, your life,,, she maybe wonderful, or whatever, but this life is about you,,,, Just you,.. It's not that easy of a life, we all know that, we all here struggle with some pretty terrible problems, even now, even if we are clean, bt we just have to get through it, because if you stop in a moment, then you get "stuck" in that moment, especially if that moment is a really terrible moment.. But if you just push through that time, a new day will come, and things get better, everything always works out, always... No matter the outcome, because I believe the outcome is how it is meant to be.. and we must learn to live with that...

I know what i am saying doesn't seem to make alot of sense, a bunch of mumbo jombo, I do pray you understand what it is that I am trying to say here...
I CARE very much about you..
Please, please, please, come back, talk to us, at least give that to us.. Don't leave us
hanging.. We care, we are you SR family, your friends..

I'll be praying hard that we will hear from you...

Love ya bro,,,
Becky

angelgirl · 10-09-2005, 09:40 PM

I'll keep a good thought for you. I know I don't have to tell you that giving up won't make things any easier, just harder. Keep your chin up, you can do this.

I just wanted to post this, and let you know that, TYLER, these are YOUR
words,,, this is one of the last posts you left here at SR, before you left,,
please listen to your own advice, words of wisdommm that both you and I know are RIGHT...
We care Tyler..
Love ya Becky

tyler · 10-10-2005, 08:35 AM

still here

bikewench · 10-10-2005, 08:42 AM

Tyler...

huggin ya buddy...

I haven't been able to achieve perfect abstinance either Tyler...

but.. perfect is a very bad goal for me...
it sets me up to lose... time after time after time...

to me...
there is nothing...
and I mean... nothing...
that is going to take my clean days from me....

I savor each and every one...
and I strive each day to live it to the best... with my wellbeing first in my goals now...

yes..
setting myself up to fail...
I'd rather set myself up to win...
and every single flippin day I don't act out in a way that hurts me is going to be celebrated...

so.. quit beating yourself up...K..?
today is a new day..
and a new way...

praying for surrender for you Tyler...
your struggle only validates my own

angelgirl · 10-10-2005, 09:12 AM

Hey Tyler,

Well, my wish llast night came true.. You hang in there buddy..
Couldn't leave us, don't let this roten disease win, you are so much
stronger than the crap this disease is tryin to dump on you.. Don't let it, don't give in..

People slip, people relapse, so what, you pull up your boot straps and jump back in..
You dust yourself off and re-join the world.. You CAN do this, you ARe strong.
I have been through so many relapses, I never gave up, I could not give up. If for no other reason, then for my kids,,, I just cant leave them the same legacy my mom left me.. I can't, it is just far to painful. If I end my suffering, by numbing myself, I only succeed in hurting my kids.. I can't allow myself to do that.. That is enough to keep me "up" on the days when I feel I just can't do this anymore.
Do you feel you are really surrendering, and getting all the help you need?
Some of us, like ME, need so much more help than others. So I have searched out all the help I can get. I have made MONSTER medical bills.. For some AA/NA is enough for me, I need MORE, it's all good, but I need more. Maybe you do to Tyler.

Just hang in there, today is a new day... Just keep sayin, I can do this, until you believe you can,,, We believe you can,. you're no different than the restof us, and if we can do it, you can to. Just don't close up, and disconnect fronm those of us that love you here at SR.. We do love you..

Please keep us posted on how your doing. Post Tyler, get the garbage out of you head, make yourself, even though its hard, it's worth it, getting the crap out gives people a chance to help you as best we can, give you support the best we know how.
It also clean the mind, and relaxes you, much better than any drug or alcohol can..
Bike always has wonderful words of wisdom...... Listen,,,
Love ya,,
Becky

PlanoTexican · 10-10-2005, 09:29 AM

Stay strong Tyler.

roadie58 · 10-10-2005, 09:33 AM

GOOD NEWS

Tyler checked in under his other thread gang. He's been through a marriage, death, and illness in the immediate family. Send him a shout out. He needs us now.

Roadie

KelKel · 10-10-2005, 10:37 AM

Tyler
Hey buddy, hang in there my friend. You are much needed around here.
You are not alone.... not by a long shot.
Sorry life is giving you a heaping full...

angelgirl · 10-10-2005, 11:43 AM

Yes, he has a lnk to his email, send him a email... Show him how we love him..

I sure do. I'm prayin for you buddy.. Things will get better,
Love ya,
Becky

spirit30 · 10-10-2005, 11:49 AM

We're here for you Tyler. Your recent problems don't erase all the clean time you had. You can get back to where you were...and the sooner the better. Look at it as a necessary learning experience that will lead you to greener pastures. Sending positive vibes your way.

**best** · 10-10-2005, 11:51 AM

I tried and when I found that I couldn't do it...I gave up and gave it to God.

Go through the steps 1-3.

You can do it with the right tools.

tyler · 10-10-2005, 01:06 PM

Hi guys, slept most of the day, sure sign of depression. Going to try to drag my butt to class this evening at least for a little social interaction. Thanks for all the support.

angelgirl · 10-10-2005, 01:24 PM

Yes!!! That's what I was hoping to hear from you Tyler!!
It can be so tough some times, but if you can push through this tough spell,
it'll get better, and I really believe it does make us stronger.
I get really depressed often too.. Are you on any meds Tyler?
Are you maybe, Bi-Polar? I'm sure you know your diagnosis. But if you are
on meds, maybe you need to have them adjusted, maybe I'm way out of line,
some people want nothing to do with that?? But I know I need some.. I was recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar, and the meds they have given me have some tough side effects, that has given me some tough times lately.
Last night my husband said something about daylight savings time ending at the end
of this month, I began whining, oh, how am I going to make it through the dark of winer, blah, I was saying, I believe I also have that seasonal effective disorder,, I get SO depressed during the winter. I normally relapse about this time of year, and stay high all winter, and get clean in the spring, that has really been a pattern for me, like every year, well, ok, most of the relapses lasted much longer, but it was always that general time of year, high all wintrer, clean in summer,. I hate winter..
I know I am rambling here, but my point is maybe you should go in and get checked out?
I am just happy you are here..

I love ya,
Becky

babeekj · 10-10-2005, 01:37 PM

Tyler...this is chat buddy here....I have seen you lend support over and over and over.
You know the answers...you have give them to me and alot of others...keep on keepin on and when you fall you get back up and dust off.

roadie58 · 10-10-2005, 02:22 PM

Good man, that's the Tyler we know. Keep on fighting buddy!

tyler · 10-10-2005, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelgirl

Yes!!! That's what I was hoping to hear from you Tyler!!
It can be so tough some times, but if you can push through this tough spell,
it'll get better, and I really believe it does make us stronger.
I get really depressed often too.. Are you on any meds Tyler?
Are you maybe, Bi-Polar? I'm sure you know your diagnosis. But if you are
on meds, maybe you need to have them adjusted, maybe I'm way out of line,
some people want nothing to do with that??

Yes, I do take antidepressant meds. I've been hospitalized a couple of times for severe depression. I've always thought bi-polar was a possibility, but the doc's can't seem to agree on that one. If I'm not doing better in a day or two I'll give my doc a call and go see him. Thanks for caring.

angelgirl · 10-10-2005, 07:24 PM

I do care Tyler, very much..
Thanks for responding. I am so happy to see you on here, if you wouldn't have come back, we would have all been so worried. I understand severe depression, I suffer from it, my mom suffered from it.
I have been seeing therapists and Psych. docs for so long. They don't seem to look into other possibilities such as Bi-Polar, often enough, that's my opinion, they just call it depression and anxiety. So through all of these years I thought I suffered from severe anxiety, and periods of depression, and periods of DEEP depression, but this therapist I have been seeing for a little while now told me recently that it is hard for doctors to distinguish between anxiety/depression, and Bi-Polar,,, because they mimic eachother in alot of ways. So she wgave me this booklet that you actually chart your moods and sleep and meds and things that are going on in your life, and once I saw it on paper, WOW, I could not believe how my moods jumped, and how little I really was sleeping at times versus other times. The chart has really shown me alot. But she also told me that they have specific testing that they can give people to find out exactly what their true diagnosis is, but the problem with the testing is it cost a bunch of money and ins. companies do not want to pay for it, so that's why so many people don't get tested. But I'm sure like other tests, that can also be wrong. I do believe though that this charting has shown me alot liek I said.. If you really wanted to know, and felt up to it, you don't have to have a chart, you can just write on paper all your meds everyday that you take, and if you are taking them correctly, everyday, (sometimes people don't, sometimes people forget, or they feel good, and just don't take them for a day of a few days pr whatever, so that's why they chart the meds daily). Youalso write how many hours of sleep you had that night, I include naps for that day, and if you were noticably more depressed, or way more hyper, energetic, or just really excited for no good reason, or sad, you get the point.. Then you also write how many time your mood changed during the day and night, maybe it won't change for days, maybe weeks, but sometimes I can see it flip flop to extremes a few times in just one day, but you don't realize it, unless you write it down,, But then it is also important of course to write down anything that affected you in a certain way for the day, like say, an argument with a family member, or a something that would have really impacted you, sometimes you find the mood shifts completely, for NO reason at all.

I know this sounds like alot of work, but if you can get a diagnosis if you are Bi-Polar, they have mood stabilizers that you can take, for that "missing link" we seem to have in our Chemistry,,, It could make a big change in your life.. Yes the problems that we have are still there, and still just as serious, but they aren't always as earth shaddering as we seem to think they are when we aren't well.

I know this is probably mor einfo than you wanted to read right now, but ti ould possible help you...
I believe you aren't really up on church, I wasn't either, but ya know when I allowed myself to open my mind to god, it made a BIG difference for me. I really believe strongly in the power of god working in us,, if we let him. I just don't see to many depressed Christians out there, or christians that are feeling like they want to die, ya know, that made me really stop and think, hey, I want to be happy like they are, because they seem SO happy no matter what life throws at them. I want that in my life, I want to be strong and stable, and they really seem to be, so I am checking that out more and more.. Iwant to be happy Tyler, that's allI want.. I want to show my kids a happy life, a life worth living... I figured just like AA/NA or any of the groups, I could check out church and the christian life, ans see what it had to offer me, I knew I had a choice always to walk away if I wanted to.... So would you,, maybe it is something worth looking into?? I am not preaching, just saying, I just really want happiness Tyler, like everyone does, and Christians seem to be the happiest people I know..

You hang in there buddy..

I'm praying for you..

10-09-2005, 07:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	I tried I tried, it really doesn't matter any more. I tried as hard as I could, but it wasn't enough. I just messed up too much before and can't fix it now. I guess I knew that it was going to be that way, but I hopeded I could fix it. I guess I can't. Sorry I let you all down. Bye. __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue

10-09-2005, 07:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,335 Blog Entries: 3	Try again Tyler.I can assure you from personal experience,as long as we are still breathing it's never to late.Hang in there.I joined this site last October.I have less than 6 months.I didn't get it right away myself.I kept going back for a little more misery.I never gave up.Stick around. __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

10-09-2005, 07:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
BigSis On a tear Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country! Posts: 3,164	Tyler - your posts have brought me a greater understanding of the struggle. Please know you have made a difference here. For my sake (hey, even we Alanons are all about me!), I hope you can return soon. __________________ No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless.... BigSis

10-09-2005, 07:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
roadie58 "The BAND" workshop ROCKS! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 1,489	Tyler. Just a little setback thats all. Man, you've helped me more times than you can count on one hand. What am I gonna do without you around here. Try telling us about it, get it out of your head. Only 3 more hours until a new day. It'll be a fresh start. If I could get fixed, you can too. Don't give up now. Maybe you just needed a little more proof of unmanageability. __________________ Roadie read about my adventures in trying to stay clean in sober in 'I'm ALIVE' in the Substance Abuse Forum..

10-09-2005, 07:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
stormyautumn Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 944	I agree with what everyone said, I had three months and just flushed it down the toilet the other night. I posted a long one about it in the newcomers forum, it helped to get it out. __________________ "If life is a bowl of cherries; what am I always doing in the pits" - Erma Bombeck

10-09-2005, 08:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
UrbanFool Red Hot Chili Pepper Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Jefferson --a State of Mind Posts: 154	Tyler? You around? You've also helped me more than you could ever know. Hope all is going okay. Kelly

10-09-2005, 08:17 PM	#7 (permalink)
hopealwayz Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: somewhere Posts: 3,514	It is never too late so please don't give up the hope. Don't let a set back hold you back. Get right back up and keep trying. There are endless possibilities in the light of a new day. __________________

10-09-2005, 09:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	TYLER--- What's up bud?? C'mon, talk to us please,,,,, I am here for you, so is everyone else.. Is there something, anything at all that we can do.. I love ya Tyler.. We have been here with some others through so much crap,, what ever it is that you are going through, is another one of those things we go through.. I seen on a diffeent post you said "she" in your post,,,, What happened? Is this about your Ex? If so, Tyler, she is not worth your sobriety, your life,,, she maybe wonderful, or whatever, but this life is about you,,,, Just you,.. It's not that easy of a life, we all know that, we all here struggle with some pretty terrible problems, even now, even if we are clean, bt we just have to get through it, because if you stop in a moment, then you get "stuck" in that moment, especially if that moment is a really terrible moment.. But if you just push through that time, a new day will come, and things get better, everything always works out, always... No matter the outcome, because I believe the outcome is how it is meant to be.. and we must learn to live with that... I know what i am saying doesn't seem to make alot of sense, a bunch of mumbo jombo, I do pray you understand what it is that I am trying to say here... I CARE very much about you.. Please, please, please, come back, talk to us, at least give that to us.. Don't leave us hanging.. We care, we are you SR family, your friends.. I'll be praying hard that we will hear from you... Love ya bro,,, Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

10-09-2005, 09:40 PM	#9 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	I'll keep a good thought for you. I know I don't have to tell you that giving up won't make things any easier, just harder. Keep your chin up, you can do this. I just wanted to post this, and let you know that, TYLER, these are YOUR words,,, this is one of the last posts you left here at SR, before you left,, please listen to your own advice, words of wisdommm that both you and I know are RIGHT... We care Tyler.. Love ya Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

10-10-2005, 08:35 AM	#10 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	still here __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue

10-10-2005, 08:42 AM	#11 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,440	Tyler... huggin ya buddy... I haven't been able to achieve perfect abstinance either Tyler... but.. perfect is a very bad goal for me... it sets me up to lose... time after time after time... to me... there is nothing... and I mean... nothing... that is going to take my clean days from me.... I savor each and every one... and I strive each day to live it to the best... with my wellbeing first in my goals now... yes.. setting myself up to fail... I'd rather set myself up to win... and every single flippin day I don't act out in a way that hurts me is going to be celebrated... so.. quit beating yourself up...K..? today is a new day.. and a new way... praying for surrender for you Tyler... your struggle only validates my own

10-10-2005, 09:12 AM	#12 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	Hey Tyler, Well, my wish llast night came true.. You hang in there buddy.. Couldn't leave us, don't let this roten disease win, you are so much stronger than the crap this disease is tryin to dump on you.. Don't let it, don't give in.. People slip, people relapse, so what, you pull up your boot straps and jump back in.. You dust yourself off and re-join the world.. You CAN do this, you ARe strong. I have been through so many relapses, I never gave up, I could not give up. If for no other reason, then for my kids,,, I just cant leave them the same legacy my mom left me.. I can't, it is just far to painful. If I end my suffering, by numbing myself, I only succeed in hurting my kids.. I can't allow myself to do that.. That is enough to keep me "up" on the days when I feel I just can't do this anymore. Do you feel you are really surrendering, and getting all the help you need? Some of us, like ME, need so much more help than others. So I have searched out all the help I can get. I have made MONSTER medical bills.. For some AA/NA is enough for me, I need MORE, it's all good, but I need more. Maybe you do to Tyler. Just hang in there, today is a new day... Just keep sayin, I can do this, until you believe you can,,, We believe you can,. you're no different than the restof us, and if we can do it, you can to. Just don't close up, and disconnect fronm those of us that love you here at SR.. We do love you.. Please keep us posted on how your doing. Post Tyler, get the garbage out of you head, make yourself, even though its hard, it's worth it, getting the crap out gives people a chance to help you as best we can, give you support the best we know how. It also clean the mind, and relaxes you, much better than any drug or alcohol can.. Bike always has wonderful words of wisdom...... Listen,,, Love ya,, Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

10-10-2005, 09:29 AM	#13 (permalink)
PlanoTexican Support our Troops. Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Republic Of Texas Posts: 453	Stay strong Tyler. __________________ Doing the right thing, when no one else is looking. -Bob Hook 'em 'Horns

10-10-2005, 09:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
roadie58 "The BAND" workshop ROCKS! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 1,489	GOOD NEWS Tyler checked in under his other thread gang. He's been through a marriage, death, and illness in the immediate family. Send him a shout out. He needs us now. Roadie __________________ Roadie read about my adventures in trying to stay clean in sober in 'I'm ALIVE' in the Substance Abuse Forum..

10-10-2005, 10:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
KelKel Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Mohave Desert Posts: 2,313	Tyler Hey buddy, hang in there my friend. You are much needed around here. You are not alone.... not by a long shot. Sorry life is giving you a heaping full...

10-10-2005, 11:43 AM	#16 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	Yes, he has a lnk to his email, send him a email... Show him how we love him.. I sure do. I'm prayin for you buddy.. Things will get better, Love ya, Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

10-10-2005, 11:49 AM	#17 (permalink)
spirit30 Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Little Island in the Atlantic Ocean Posts: 57	We're here for you Tyler. Your recent problems don't erase all the clean time you had. You can get back to where you were...and the sooner the better. Look at it as a necessary learning experience that will lead you to greener pastures. Sending positive vibes your way.

10-10-2005, 11:51 AM	#18 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,190	I tried and when I found that I couldn't do it...I gave up and gave it to God. Go through the steps 1-3. You can do it with the right tools. __________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?

10-10-2005, 01:06 PM	#19 (permalink)
tyler Not all better, getting better Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Getting back to the beach!!!!!! :-) Posts: 781	Hi guys, slept most of the day, sure sign of depression. Going to try to drag my butt to class this evening at least for a little social interaction. Thanks for all the support. __________________ Peace and Love, Tyler Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh "Protest is the highest form of democracy." Gen. Wesley Clark "Meat is food, veggies are food's food!" -pedagogue

10-10-2005, 01:24 PM	#20 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	Yes!!! That's what I was hoping to hear from you Tyler!! It can be so tough some times, but if you can push through this tough spell, it'll get better, and I really believe it does make us stronger. I get really depressed often too.. Are you on any meds Tyler? Are you maybe, Bi-Polar? I'm sure you know your diagnosis. But if you are on meds, maybe you need to have them adjusted, maybe I'm way out of line, some people want nothing to do with that?? But I know I need some.. I was recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar, and the meds they have given me have some tough side effects, that has given me some tough times lately. Last night my husband said something about daylight savings time ending at the end of this month, I began whining, oh, how am I going to make it through the dark of winer, blah, I was saying, I believe I also have that seasonal effective disorder,, I get SO depressed during the winter. I normally relapse about this time of year, and stay high all winter, and get clean in the spring, that has really been a pattern for me, like every year, well, ok, most of the relapses lasted much longer, but it was always that general time of year, high all wintrer, clean in summer,. I hate winter.. I know I am rambling here, but my point is maybe you should go in and get checked out? I am just happy you are here.. I love ya, Becky __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.

10-10-2005, 01:37 PM	#21 (permalink)
babeekj Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Tyler, Texas Posts: 1,030	Tyler...this is chat buddy here....I have seen you lend support over and over and over. You know the answers...you have give them to me and alot of others...keep on keepin on and when you fall you get back up and dust off.

10-10-2005, 02:22 PM	#22 (permalink)
roadie58 "The BAND" workshop ROCKS! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 1,489	Good man, that's the Tyler we know. Keep on fighting buddy! __________________ Roadie read about my adventures in trying to stay clean in sober in 'I'm ALIVE' in the Substance Abuse Forum..

10-10-2005, 07:24 PM	#24 (permalink)
angelgirl You're never alone!! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,195	I do care Tyler, very much.. Thanks for responding. I am so happy to see you on here, if you wouldn't have come back, we would have all been so worried. I understand severe depression, I suffer from it, my mom suffered from it. I have been seeing therapists and Psych. docs for so long. They don't seem to look into other possibilities such as Bi-Polar, often enough, that's my opinion, they just call it depression and anxiety. So through all of these years I thought I suffered from severe anxiety, and periods of depression, and periods of DEEP depression, but this therapist I have been seeing for a little while now told me recently that it is hard for doctors to distinguish between anxiety/depression, and Bi-Polar,,, because they mimic eachother in alot of ways. So she wgave me this booklet that you actually chart your moods and sleep and meds and things that are going on in your life, and once I saw it on paper, WOW, I could not believe how my moods jumped, and how little I really was sleeping at times versus other times. The chart has really shown me alot. But she also told me that they have specific testing that they can give people to find out exactly what their true diagnosis is, but the problem with the testing is it cost a bunch of money and ins. companies do not want to pay for it, so that's why so many people don't get tested. But I'm sure like other tests, that can also be wrong. I do believe though that this charting has shown me alot liek I said.. If you really wanted to know, and felt up to it, you don't have to have a chart, you can just write on paper all your meds everyday that you take, and if you are taking them correctly, everyday, (sometimes people don't, sometimes people forget, or they feel good, and just don't take them for a day of a few days pr whatever, so that's why they chart the meds daily). Youalso write how many hours of sleep you had that night, I include naps for that day, and if you were noticably more depressed, or way more hyper, energetic, or just really excited for no good reason, or sad, you get the point.. Then you also write how many time your mood changed during the day and night, maybe it won't change for days, maybe weeks, but sometimes I can see it flip flop to extremes a few times in just one day, but you don't realize it, unless you write it down,, But then it is also important of course to write down anything that affected you in a certain way for the day, like say, an argument with a family member, or a something that would have really impacted you, sometimes you find the mood shifts completely, for NO reason at all. I know this sounds like alot of work, but if you can get a diagnosis if you are Bi-Polar, they have mood stabilizers that you can take, for that "missing link" we seem to have in our Chemistry,,, It could make a big change in your life.. Yes the problems that we have are still there, and still just as serious, but they aren't always as earth shaddering as we seem to think they are when we aren't well. I know this is probably mor einfo than you wanted to read right now, but ti ould possible help you... I believe you aren't really up on church, I wasn't either, but ya know when I allowed myself to open my mind to god, it made a BIG difference for me. I really believe strongly in the power of god working in us,, if we let him. I just don't see to many depressed Christians out there, or christians that are feeling like they want to die, ya know, that made me really stop and think, hey, I want to be happy like they are, because they seem SO happy no matter what life throws at them. I want that in my life, I want to be strong and stable, and they really seem to be, so I am checking that out more and more.. Iwant to be happy Tyler, that's allI want.. I want to show my kids a happy life, a life worth living... I figured just like AA/NA or any of the groups, I could check out church and the christian life, ans see what it had to offer me, I knew I had a choice always to walk away if I wanted to.... So would you,, maybe it is something worth looking into?? I am not preaching, just saying, I just really want happiness Tyler, like everyone does, and Christians seem to be the happiest people I know.. You hang in there buddy.. I'm praying for you.. __________________ ™ Don't tell God how BIG your addiction is, tell your addiction, how BIG our GOD is!! Jesus is our teacher and he is our Savior, who takes our prayers and makes them his own.