these stupid little pills ......

[vicodinprincess]

These stupid little pills!They control my damn life.I wish I could make it stop.They are all I think about. it is how I plan my day.How did it get like this?Nothing at all is enjoyable without them.I find myself wishing something awful would happen to me so i can go to the hospital an get maeds for my pain. how f****d up is that?I am nuts Thats all. i just want the craving to stop.I want to function. so why cant i just f****ng quit????

[Phinneas]

Hi, v-princess. Phinny, here. Recovering opiate addict. I know what you are going through because I've been there.

You can quit, you can get through the detox (miserable as it is) and you can live life clean and sober and happy. I found recovery in the rooms of AA / NA. I reached out for help and it was there. I found people who are just like me, who've been there and who showed me how to get and stay clean and sober 24 hours at a time.

There is a solution.

hugs,

phinny

[shestruggles]

Hi dear,

So many of us here have been right where u are. It hurts; physically and emotionally.

You have to decide to take back your life. The way you feel right now w/out pills is NOT what sober living is like. You're going thru wds, getting the poison out of your system. Once the physical wds subside, start working on the mental/emotional stuff. It's tough but is HAS TO be done. You can't live forever from one script to the next, it's a sad way to live. But I promise you, you can re-learn how to live w/out dope. If I can do it, anyone can.

You have to want it. Please don't wait for something terrible to happen (and it probably will) before deciding to get clean.

My thoughts are with you, PM anytime you want to talk!

Much Love:SS

[Alera]

Agree with SS. The WDs are not what sober life is like. It will get better, although you will have to re-learn. The good thing is that you learn a lot of good stuff!

What I did to help get my mind off the pills was go to google. Don't laugh! I put in a word that I might find interesting and then went from link to link to link. It can take days to read all that stuff and those are days/hours/minutes my mind was on all the stuff I was thinking about on the internet instead of thinking about the drugs.

Sure cravings got bad, but I used tools I learned in my program to catch the cravings early, then I kept on reading at the computer.

BTW, a nice blanket also helped when I was at the computer. It made me feel safe like a cocoon and kept some of the shivers away.

[ragidiman]

Very important/person.
Just like most of us, you are.
Been clean from hydros, morphene, ozzies, ect...
now for 6 weeks, I never thought I could get that
"craveing, need, half to have the drug right now, and
where can I get it and where will I get it later"
feeling out of my head. That U just reminded me of
dont even remember when it actualy lost it. But I
Know This: It is such a wonderful feeling
Thats kinda how it happens If U realy want IT

Life:
Will be wonderful again.

Its not easy But it can happen, And WILL happen
if U realy want it to.


Try it Ul like it.


MAC

[roadie58]

Yes, they are STUPID and LITTLE.

And you are BIG and STRONG.

Why don't you let us help you get over it? You've taken a huge step already to get here and admit the problem.

[theNAway]

I don't know what recovery was like for anyone else. But I know I finally had to go to the end of the road before I found recovery.
Hopefully you don't have to go that far.
For me, I finally realized I couldn't do it on my own. I had tried a 1000x times and it never worked, especially passed the 4th day.
When I finally went to treatment, I had 920 +/- pills in my hotel room. My wife came to an accident I had and tried to get me help, but couldn't figured out how. Finally she did and I went for help for the next day.
It wasn't easy. Neither was recovery in the beginning. I didn't understand half of what people were talking about, but I kept "coming back".
I had to finally come to a point in my life were living in recovery was more important than living the way I was. Which my wife likes to say I wasn't even existing. I liked to get to that point where I could barely lift my head, and anytime she would ask me something, I would say "I'm thinking".
Things have changed, because I decided I had to change my ways, to live. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, through working the 12 steps.
In the beginning, I put as much work into recovery as I did when I was out using, and thankfully I have been alive and growing in recovery ever since.
The doors of NA are open to you, it just takes a little willingness on your part to walk through.
I hope you make the choice for you,
Chad H.

[SueRita]

Princess you should also be thinking right now of all the others, that don't even know you , that you have caused damage to.
Now there are people in chronic pain who have a very hard time getting those *stupid little pills* because of ones like you that chose to abuse them.

[wsttxbber]

Hi-im new here but i can offer a little advice- i detoxed of a 40-50 a day pill habit of norco and took addrerall as well. I was in such fear of withdrawl and I was extremely scared too do it. My uncle is an LCDC and convinced me i needed to "feel" every minute of the withdrawl stages (hes old school/he has 15 yrs) and go cold ass turkey!! Well i didnt sleep for 5 days and felt all kinds of miserable but when the smoke cleared, I felt better than ever. I immediatley went in-patient for 35 days and got plugged into a 12 step program and its been a godsend. I detoxed at his house and then went straight to treatment! I would suggest going into a medical detox but ingesting more drugs doesnt seem logical to me to feel "comfortable". Lots of prayer and support work wonders for most. Good luck and after you clear about 72 hours you will be in the drivers seat. It gets better everyday. Good luck and god bless- Will