clone

Hey.. For the last couple of years I've been using oxycontin about once every couple weeks. However, the last 2 months I have found a cancer patient who was willing to give me their entire perscription of oxys. So for the last 2 months I have been doing between 80mg - 120mg every day.

I hate the feeling of only being motivated to do things when I'm high, so I want to get off of these things ASAP. I haven't slept in the last 40 hours. I've taken like 4 sleeping pills and they didn't budge me. I took a 10mg valium about 3 hours ago which has chilled out the anxiety, but didn't put me to sleep. When I tried to sleep earlier today I was tossing and turning like crazy, couldn't keep still. Is that the RLS people are talkin about?

Other than not being able to sleep and a slight headache, the symptoms haven't been too terrible as of yet. I haven't had any naseau or diahrea or anything like that yet.. But I'm sure it's coming soon. I also took a multivitamin a few hours ago which may have helped slightly. I'm gonna take a couple more sleeping pills and see if I can sleep a bit.

I've been watching john lennon music videos on youtube, and that has lifted my spirits tremendously. Thankyou john I will always love you.

I've had alot of trouble with lots of different drugs in the past, and this is the end of it all for me. I wanna go clean clean clean. Wish me luck.

FT

Good luck clone,

Access access access (aka, NONE NONE NONE) is the key. You sound like a smart person, and you are probably someone in the healthcare field like me. If so, you CANNOT be an opiate user and continue to be in that field. If you do, eventually you will get caught.

But far more important is your personal well being. On opiates, that is lost on many levels.

Read back through the "I'm going cold turkey...." thread. That is where I found help when I went off this poison in December. There is another long thread that is now called "Kicking the ox...." that has lots of posts about withdrawal.

Yes, that is restless legs, restless body. Expect to feel quite sick for a couple of weeks, and expect ZERO energy, and ZERO sleep. If you don't get those side effects, that is wonderful, but if you don't expect them and they happen, that may derail you.

Hang in there, and good luck. The OXY HELL RIDE is unexpectedly insidious in its ability to hook you quickly and make it very difficult to get off of.

FT

clone

Hey thanks for the reply. No I'm not in the health care field, I don't even have a job right now. I still couldn't sleep at all last night, very wrestless, moving around alot. I sniffed 30mg of morphine which is relatively small, not enough to get high off, and about half hour after that the wrestlessness stopped and I was able to pass out. woke up this morning feeling fine, and no withdrawal symptoms since then.. I hope I didn't just restart the withdrawal clock. I guess I'll find out in a day or so.

I found one of those lengthy oxy threads on a google search and read through the first 5 or 6 pages. That's how I found this forum. Just the little bit of support I get from reading through those posts helps alot.

FT

Hey.

If you really want to get clean, lay off the putting of opiates into your body. 30 mg of morphine would make MOST people high, except someone who is opiate tolerant. That would be you.

Time to get off that crap. I hope you stick around here and get some support for staying clean. NA would be another good bet.

clone

Yes failedtaper, the goal is to stop putting opiates in my body. I just couldn't sleep no matter what, and it had been more than 2 days without sleep. So maybe the morphine was a mistake. Ohwell. I'm tryin. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep fine tonight.

FT

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I tend to come down kinda hard on people. Just be aware that you are making excuses for using. If I took oxycodone in my first weeks of withdrawal because I couldn't sleep, I would still be using now. All of us can think of too many reasons to keep using, which is why a lot of us never stop. It takes a firm resolve to deny ourselves. The ONLY way NOT to use is to have NO ACCESS. Do NOT keep any opiates nearby, or you WILL use them.

FNB3

Hey Clone, I know where you are at. For me 48 hours out was really, really tough. I took a spoonful of my kids cough syrup that had codeine one night and it helped a little. And then I was done. You can do this. It would be really, really hard for a couple days until I thought I was going to lose it and then I would catch a break for a day and feel a little better for a day or so. Then another wave of withdrawls would come and that cycle has repeated until just a day or so ago (knock on wood) and yesterday was three weeks for me clean and about a month after starting the tapering process.

Don't give yourself an option to use anymore. Unless youplan on staying in the madness and using forever you will have to go through this garbage sometime. Why not now?

clone

Well, the withdrawals have stopped for the time being, and I don't plan on using any opiates again. Time will tell. thanks for the words.

clone

Had a hard time getting to sleep last night, but the withdrawals have pretty much stopped. No more anxiety, but I do feel rather depressed and don't have much drive to do much of anything other than loaf around and watch the tv..

FT

Hey, clone. Cut yourself a break. Don't do anything for a few days that you don't have to do, push fluids, and rest if you can.

Hang in there, and know you aren't all alone out there.

FT

clone

Thanks man. Yea it's just kinda hard, I gotta have a bunch of stuff done by the end of the month.. I've been getting a little bit of it done but it weighs heavy on my mind.. and is getting me down.

So having you tell me to give myself a break is a good thing to hear. I was thinking of going to an NA meeting.. I don't know where they have them around here.. Where would I look?

Timebuster

Right here > NA Meeting Locator

Stay strong my friend.

TB

rinky

first of all, good luck,seriously, 2nd of all, if i could get anything across to anyone it is this, get the f#$#@ out while you can. it doesnt sound like your gonna have that bad of a time doing this. i can tell you don't do like me and put it off to the point that you cant. i had to go on methadone, it works, but i can look back over my use and i know if i had only stopped before it got so bad (180 to 190 mgs a day) it would have saved me alot of money, not to mention my health and saved me the stigma of being labled an opiate addict for life as far as the government is concerned. and some time in the future im gonna have to wd from the meth. so get out while you can. im sure youve read enough on here to know what hell this **** can cause you. listen to these people on here and bennifit from their experience and heart break. do it for your self. your worth it.

FT

Good advice, Rinky!

clone

yup still goin strong. Haven't touched a drink or anything. Depression is still bugging me a bit and I'm having trouble getting on a regular sleeping habbit.. I'm thinking time is the only thing that's gonna make it better.. So I shall wait! hehe. thanks for the support.

FT

I sleep now pretty much like I did before the opiates. Still a bit of an insomniac, but when if I go without good sleep a couple of nights, it is usually followed by a better stretch. Like before. Ah well, hard to shut off the brain, but at least now it's not with crazy, racing, addict brain thoughts!

Hang in there, and listen to all the good folks here who tell you it does get better.

FT

clone

Still clean. sleep schedule back on track. I wake up and start doing stuff almost immediately! Like washing the dishes or whatever. It's pretty crazy how normal I feel now. A week ago I didn't know if I'd ever feel normal again, but now it's great! The good weather helps alot too. Anyways, thanks for the support when I was feelin down.

seeya later guys.

Dee74

Glad you're feeling better clone.
best of luck for a clean and sober future

Remember tho - the doors always open if you want to drop in again
D