Clean since Friday @ 4:00 pm

[golf99]

Coming off hydro...10-12 a day. Had come off for 5 days in the past 2 months, than relapse. I have zero energy, can't even work. On about 2.5 hours of sleep. I need to make it this time. Any ideas about getting some energy? This board has been a God Sent to me for a long time. Thank You all

[wantneeda]

hey there...good for you for not giving up!!!!
nap, drink lots of water, fresh air...baths, soothing music..food.one breathe, one heart beat at a time. Don't beat yourself up for not having any energy. No quick fixes.patience. It didn't take us this long to get as sick as we are, recovery doesn't happen overnight.
keep coming back
hugs & hugs Wendy

[golf99]

Thank you Wendy!

[wantneeda]

Thats' what SR is all about, supporting each other

[shestruggles]

Yep - I second everything wantneeda said. Maybe some Ibuprphen for the aches. If you can, get some one to grab you some magazines, DVDs or books, mostly for the next few days when you are not so much sick, but restless with no evergy. Try to keep your mind busy - thoughts of a new life - clean and sober. Focus on the reward; no more chasing pills, needing pills, etc.

I found even walking around (even just around the house) when I could helped. One little thing at a time. Don't freak yourself out with "when will this ever end?". Just let the time pass...One day (one minute) at a time. Also, keep posting here when you can. Even if you don;t have a huge support system at home - you'll find one here!

Congrats on your decision to get the poison out of your system!

Much Love: SS

[golf99]

Thank You, and NO i have ZERO support from my Wife. She things I'm weak and put my Family in Jeopardy by using Hydro. I have not told her I relapsed twice. So she thinks I;m just a lazy person. She never had an addiction problem and makes me feel an inch high about it. I will keep posting, I feel support here. Thank you again!

[michski]

Congratulations on your clean time!!!!

Ahh.. it's tough but you gotta just hang in there. Exercise is what you need to help clean out your body's system and poop you out physically so you sleep well. Please hang in there because it's so worth it!

[golf99]

I'm back on thre tread mill...Thanks so much. It did help last time. This time SOOOOO exhausted.

[roadie58]

water and lots of it, sleep, you'll need lots of it too. Exercise but don't overdo it.

[golf99]

Thank You

[golf99]

Michski,

Did exercise help you? I've heard it gets all the crap out of the system thru your pours. Di you do That.
Thats Golf99

[angelgirl]

How are you doing Golf?? Let us know please.... Love, Becky

[roadie58]

I take it hydro is hydrocodone, aka vicodin? That's a pretty strong pain killer, I had a legit scrip for it after my appendix was taken out. Used some of the excess for migraine headaches, but it scared me cause I would drink on it. That got really weird. Golf, did you have a legit pain excuse for taking this medication before? What happened that made this drug problematic for you that your wife calls you 'weak'? Hope you're doing better today. I've got a buddy coming over to day for a light workout, maybe get my blood flowing a bit since last two days have been pretty much eat and sleep.

[shestruggles]

Yes, any support you are missing at home can be found at NA or AA meetings, or even here at SR. You are never alone, there are so many of us fighting the same battle!

Please keep us posted!

[golf99]

Thank you all! Today is Tuesday, still clean! About 5 hours sleep last night. I will use you as my support system, for that I owe you all dearly. My wife is a nightmare to mention this to. Today is my Daughters B-Day, we will be going out tonight. I still am soooo tired. I'm thinking about trying those energy drinks. Again, your thoughts have put tears in my eyes. I feel as if we've all known each other for years.

[shestruggles]

Good stuff, golf.

Sorry to hear you're not sleeping much, but that will get better with time. You are heading in the right direction, doing something very difficult - it's really a matter of life and death. Even the most self-sufficient person needs other people, comforting voices, hugs and encouragement during such a tough time. Yes, it's HARD, but the rewards are amazing!

Any chance your wife would consider NarAnon, for friends and family members of addicts? Regardless, we here at SR have got your back, we'll always be here to help you through recovery. Personally (after many failed attempts on my own) I realized that getting clean required opening up. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done, and I am so thankfull for the kind people here at SR who have helped me battle the opiate demon. They really do understand.

Well, Happy B-day to you daughter, and Congrats on 4-5 days clean! That's brilliant!
Keep going and keep us posted!

Much Love: SS

[golf99]

Thank You! And Roadie, yes, I was given the hydro from a doc. about 2.5-3 yrs ago for back pain. My job required me to sit for long stretches, doc.'s nurse told me to take 2 hydro's every 4 hours as a precaution. Did not take long to get hooked. When they shut me down cold turkey..1.5 years later I went to another doc. He tried to wean me off, didn't work. So i gave him a line of lies...i was traveling, needed more for the trip, etc. You know how we get. I was able to tell some friends I was having problems with my jaw and asked if they had anything, most did. It carried the addiction on until now. I have used from all my friends and have no doc. Even the dentist cut me off. (i do have 2 teeth that need to come out, but again i lied and said i was traveling and needed enough pain pills to carry me) they won't even return my calls. So anyway I was forced into stopping. Whatever way is ok. I do have some left over xanax, it takes a small...very small edge off. However, xanax is just another addiction. That is my story. And i used to play in the Cleveland Indians Baseball Org. and never took anything, was offered many times due to arm trouble. Ugh, life is hard today, tomm.? Better I hope. And Thank You all! I know you have my back. When I am well I hope to help people like all of you have helped me.

[golf99]

I'm really needed. ugh. can't even work. no one to talk to. I'm hoping it passes.

[shestruggles]

Keep poundingout your thoughts here, golf. It really helps. Many of us are alone right now, struggling with very bad feelings. It helpd to get it out, rant, vent, whatever. There is also a good thread at the bottom called 'everything but you name' It's cool cause you can spew your sh!t and it get erased every 24hours, in case you wanna vent about stuff and not have it up on the board permanently.

Also - hae you looked in to NA or AA meetings in your area. That's a great place where you never feel alone. Pick up some phone #s and you'll have people to call whenever you need to.

Hang in there - we're pulling for you!

Much Love: SS

[golf99]

My wife would walk if i went to an NA meeting. Sorry, she would boot me from my home and slap a restraining order against me so i couldn't see my children. 3 @ home and one is 1st year med. school. I'm so damn sick of not enjoying anything in life at all...does that return? I can remember being happy before the hydro. Hydro. made life easy, i laughed i was the funny guy, now i'm dead inside..nothing.

[roadie58]

Yes, eventually you will laugh (and cry) again as emotions return. Look at it this way, you've been a merry go round instead of the roller coaster of life. You've been going round and round experiencing the same dull scenery, soon in recovery you'll get to experience the highs and lows again. It does take time. Hang out here and get well.

[golf99]

Thank You Roadie

[golf99]

We had a nice b-day party for my daughter, i enjoyed it. Now i'm wishing sooo much for hydro, this needs to end. I think the cravings will never go away. In for another long night.

[roadie58]

watch a movie, pick up a book , read kid a story- keep your mind occupied until bedtime, then turn OFF the TV and go to sleep. Extra water for everyone tonight, it fills you up and heals.

Try to sleep, maybe an asprin or so might help? If you toss and turn, try to stay quiet and stay in bed, at least your body will rest. I read somewhere to NOT get on TV or computer in middle of night, the flicker of screen induces sleeplessness, instead read a book.

talk to ya tomorrow.

[Jane63]

Welcome golf! Glad you are here!!!
I am a recovering Vicoden addict myself with almost 1-year clean as of this July! It can be done and is soo worth it!!

I can remember being happy before the hydro. Hydro. made life easy, i laughed i was the funny guy, now i'm dead inside..nothing

I remember thinking that too, but seriously...the joke was on me!! It just seemed that way to me but really everyone around me was beginning to notice how different I had become. And the times when I had gone without it for a day my whole personality changed and I was like a wild woman searching for more...I was very sick!
You are more "dead inside" while you are actively addicted...believe me on this! You are just feeling the withdrawal symptoms right now and the worst should pass within 1-2 weeks...you will still probably feel abit lethargic for awhile but please try to be patient and it will pass! Try not to overwhelm yourself with so many tasks and focus on just getting a few things done each day.
Some great coping advice here for the WDs! I have just started drinking a Redbull every now and then when I need "wings" and it does seem to help...also a multi-vitamin each day and getting some exercise...like angel said, even if it is just walking around your livingroom or up/down a flight of stairs! {sitting in the sunshine and breathing fresh air also is good for the soul!}
While I was in Rehab and for at least a month afterward, I took Melatonin {all natural sleep aid found at most stores/pharmacies in vitamin section} and sometimes Tylenol PM for sleep.
I totally agree about drinking lots of water and also I was told not to let myself get hungry and to eat several small healthy meals or snacks a day. {bananas are good for the leg cramps or restless legs...Potassium!}

Well, hope that helps some and please hang in there and do this for YOU!! I promise you will not regret it and it is a very empowering feeling of accomplishment...better than any "high"!!
{{HUGS}}
Jane