Moderation temptation
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: PLainview, NY
Posts: 43
Moderation temptation
Why is it that after quitting for sometime and achieving some success, that I am tempted to try moderating my use with pot?
Like, I have all these terrible problems with smoking weed. I ama aware of them, then I stop using. A soon as I stop using, I feel that its OK to attempt moderation.
Where are these moderation feelings coming from, and why do they seem logical on the surface (if I recover, change my behaviors, then should be able to use in moderation), but never pan out properly in real life?
Like, I have all these terrible problems with smoking weed. I ama aware of them, then I stop using. A soon as I stop using, I feel that its OK to attempt moderation.
Where are these moderation feelings coming from, and why do they seem logical on the surface (if I recover, change my behaviors, then should be able to use in moderation), but never pan out properly in real life?
Hi there. It is definately your disease lying to you. Happens to all of us. It had such a grip on us, that it is hard to totally let go.. We will NEVER beable to use in moderation. NEVER. It will always take us right back to the bottom. A place I am no longer choosing to go to.
Do you have any support? A drug/alcohol counselor, or a treatment group, or NA/AA?? Or anything for that matter that helps you? If not, it would be a very good idea to try something, so when this happens to you, you are better equipped to handle the situations. I also strongly believe in different playmates and playgrounds. I don't know anything about you, but I know for me, I can no longer be anywhere that my "dealer" is, or hang witht he people I did the drugs with. That helps too. I have choosen to staya way from friends that I've had for years, because itis far to tempting for me when I am around them, and either they do it in front of me, or I know they are drugged.
It does get better over time, hang in there,, and DON'T believe what the disease tells you. Great job on recognizing that something is wrong with attempting to use in moderation. love, Becky
Do you have any support? A drug/alcohol counselor, or a treatment group, or NA/AA?? Or anything for that matter that helps you? If not, it would be a very good idea to try something, so when this happens to you, you are better equipped to handle the situations. I also strongly believe in different playmates and playgrounds. I don't know anything about you, but I know for me, I can no longer be anywhere that my "dealer" is, or hang witht he people I did the drugs with. That helps too. I have choosen to staya way from friends that I've had for years, because itis far to tempting for me when I am around them, and either they do it in front of me, or I know they are drugged.
It does get better over time, hang in there,, and DON'T believe what the disease tells you. Great job on recognizing that something is wrong with attempting to use in moderation. love, Becky
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
I hear you on that one jinx, I've been down that road soooo many times. I won't even get into the problems pot has caused in my life, yet I still harbor thoughts that someday, maybe I can still smoke and it'll be OK. The rational logical side of me know that that just isn't true, I've tried and proven it wrong so many times, but maybe this time it will be OK. I guess the way I look at it now is that yes there is a chance that I could moderate my pot use, anything is possible. Based on past results, however, I know that it is VERY unlikely this will work out. So if I want to I can take that chance, but it is kinda like taking all my life savings (perhaps not a good analogy as that amounts to about $50 right now!! ) and buying a lottery ticket in hopes that I will win. There is a chance I will win, but the odds are very much against it. Don't know it this makes any sense or if it is just my convolutated logic!! Hope it helps some at least.
Hi Jinx; I too started telling myself that I could smoke pot, and with all I have learned and gone through with treatment, I could do it in a moderate way.
WRONG! One turned to more and more. Weekends again turned to week nights, then before work etc. I isolated again, and all the same crap came back within months. I lost my previous clean time learning the hard way.
Now I know that I can never go back. Thank God I stopped after relapsing for 5 months, or I could have lost a lot more. Just got the same amount of clean time last week that I did after the first relapse. Starting over is a big and hard lesson.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Diana
WRONG! One turned to more and more. Weekends again turned to week nights, then before work etc. I isolated again, and all the same crap came back within months. I lost my previous clean time learning the hard way.
Now I know that I can never go back. Thank God I stopped after relapsing for 5 months, or I could have lost a lot more. Just got the same amount of clean time last week that I did after the first relapse. Starting over is a big and hard lesson.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Diana
I'm an addict.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hyde Park, NY
Posts: 1,201
Moderation is nothing but a myth for an addict, it will not work. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. I remember when I was useing I would tell myself, "I'll just do one and I'll save the rest for tomorrow" 12:01 would roll around and my disease would tell me...."hey it's tomorrow now, go ahead do all your dope"
I know now that it is the first one that sends me off to the races and when I say the first one, I mean any drug, it doesn't have to even be my DOC. I don't believe that any addict can return to successfully useing in moderation.
You can tell the little voice in you head that tries to convince you to "moderately" use again to shut the **** up...thats what I do when it talks to me.
Later,
-Blake
I know now that it is the first one that sends me off to the races and when I say the first one, I mean any drug, it doesn't have to even be my DOC. I don't believe that any addict can return to successfully useing in moderation.
You can tell the little voice in you head that tries to convince you to "moderately" use again to shut the **** up...thats what I do when it talks to me.
Later,
-Blake
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