help please? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sarah2 · 03-04-2005, 01:37 PM

ok..
i tryed 2 kill myself 2 yrs ago, im balimic and i cut myself
im not depressed, i no th@ feeling, but i can feel now, b4 it was just the emptiness of depression, but its not depression
ok, im on coke,weed,khat,LSD,mushrooms,poppers, crack and alcohol.
im pretty fuked up as u might have guessed.
can any1 help me
i dont want to tell mi parents or mi friends, they just dont understand. mi mum and dad think th@ im over the over-dose, but i dont think that i am.
i get flash baks of mi bad trips from acid and of the over-dose, if any1 can help me, plz do

Paulie · 03-04-2005, 02:58 PM

The first thing you need to do is stop using, you cannot think with a clear head when you are putting substances in your body.

Stop using and you will see that people understand you more than you think they do.

Please get help for yourself soon.

03-04-2005, 03:09 PM

How old are you Sarah?

Here is a link to a forum for teenagers.

http://www.teenhelp.org/groups/index.php?

Some of the things you are describing need professional help. Do you have a doctor that you've seen before? Maybe you could give him a call.

If you're still using you need to find support and treatment so you can turn your life around. Many here have done that.

We're here if you just need to talk.

Hugs,
MG

***Time2Surrender*** · 03-04-2005, 03:21 PM

Sarah,welcome to SoberRecovery.Glad your here.Like Ann said,you might wanna see a doctor or get some professional help.Even if it means telling your parents and friends.I think they would rather know then see you die.

sarah2 · 03-04-2005, 03:50 PM

well, im only 15
i cant tell any one, you cant even imagine what it's like
well, mabi u can, but woteva
im starting 2 give up the drugs, but its hard.
i cant obviosly do it all at once because im physically addicted 2 quite a few drugs and the cutting and balimia. i feel like i cant live without them.
i havnt touched acid (LSD) for 1 week, and i havnt been sik in 4 days, so, im starting 2 get better.
look, im grtful that u all care, but im not looking for "what ur doing is bad, stop" because frankly it's not that simple.
my mum would just about die if she knew wot's going on. she found me u c, wen i over-dosed. she cant take any more, and im not going 2 let her know.
im stil not sure y i do all this stuff 2 miself tho
i no, i need a counsiller and a doctor, but im not going 2 any ov these people. ive already been seen bi a counciller after i over-dosed. but i stoped seeing him 1 ans half yrs ago. im not going bak there, if thats what ur thinking.
too many memories.
so does any one hav any tips on giving up, coz damn it, ive got determinationa nd im GOING 2 get over this.
ive got mi hole ****** life aheadof me, and ive got a hole lotta plans and im not gona ruin mi life now.
i am getting better, ok, im still on some drugs but, im slowly reducing them. and yesterday i ate!
and wasnt sik.
any tips on how 2 avoid drugs?
(btw, im trying 2 stop cutting miself as well, i play mi drums wenever i want to

)

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-04-2005, 04:44 PM

Can you talk to your parents at all? Love your self. Have you got any friends you can tell this to? Anyone that you can talk to that you can trust?

You're a person of worth. Your life means something. Life is so precious. Please stay posting on here. I don't have all the answers for you but there are a lot of people on this site that can answer you.

The best tip I can give you on the drugs is to avoid all your friends that use. If, I'm with people that drink and drug, I'm going to drink and drug. Do they have any AA or NA meetings around where you live?

Chris

Chy · 03-04-2005, 05:03 PM

Hi Sarah and welcome!
As hard as it may sound your best advisary is your parents. I'm sure if you explain to them just how much trouble your in, be honest, they will help you find the support, treatment, couselor you need. It's very hard going to our parents with issues like this. They really would want to know how much trouble your in, the cool thing about parents is that unconditional love, no one will love you more then they do, they'll help you Sarah, just get up the courage to talk to them. If you have a close friend, have her sit with you while you talk to them. You can't go on like this. If you really want help and are ready to get help they are your best option. Don't be afraid, they just may surprise you.

I am glad it's getting a little better and that you have not given up on your hopes and dreams. Tell someone Sarah!

***Time2Surrender*** · 03-04-2005, 05:27 PM

Sarah,we were all 15 once.Nobody is here to preach to you about what is bad and not bad or you need to stop.Everyone here can relate to where your coming from because we have all been there.We all know its not that simple.Now,I wish I could give you some specific.There is nothing in particular I can say or this place wouldnt be here.There is no magic answer.Bottom line? You need help.Trying to do this alone? I hate to say it.The odds are against you.Your parents really do need to know this.But,if you insist on them not knowing maybe you can still try some NA meetings.In the meantime just keep coming here.

blitz · 03-05-2005, 02:06 AM

Hi Sarah,

You've read quite a number of replies by now. The conclusion is obvious. You'll have all the support you need from us as long as you keep posting. But none of us is going to lie to you and tell you you don't need your parent's help, and professional help. What you're trying to do on your own is extremely dangerous.

Take Chy's advice: take a close friend with you when you tell your parents. Don't forget they love you and trust you. What if they found out through someone else?

Hang on, we're here for anything.

Love - Pedro

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 05:44 AM

i no its sad and all, but i promise, i cant tell like anyone.
i cant put them thro the greif again.
one of mi friends found out last week, shes reeli worried about me, but shes gonna help support me.
thanx 4 ur replies, but im not going 2 any adult, if mi school found out, woh! they'd kik me out on the spot, and im funnily doing reeli well on mi corsework and stuf, so im not giving th@ up now.
i reeli am getting better, i asure u, mi head hasnt been this clear 4 ages, the bad thing is now i can feel again.
i realise now th@ the drugs r just a means of escape, but im kinda trying 2 thinka bout other things.
im off LSD and this is the first day th@ i havnt had mushrooms in adges.... and damn, the world is such a boringly coloured place! no more bright green grass or... erm, purple sky's?! dnt ask
its gonna take a while, but i am trying, im not telling an adult, so dnt go down th@ road ppl. thanx 4 caring, im so glad th@ i cood tell sum1, it was eatin me up inside

sandyl225 · 03-05-2005, 06:13 AM

Sarah,
I know what you are going through is horrible,I'm a mom of 4.I was embarrased and afraid to admit to my family,that mom has a problem. If the shoe was on the other foot,what extent would you go to to help your mom if she was in this situation?All we want as parent's are for our children to be happy,WHATEVER it takes!! There are so many ways out there for you to get the right kind of help,without me telling my family,I would still be using if not worse.The support thats out there makes a recovery possible.
Please for you family's sake just try to tell them!Your life is very important to you & them!! The best thing is you want to be clean,yes there is a little stress on everyone,but it is all so worth it when they'll have their daughter back,A parent loves unconditionally,and the best gift you can give them right now is the truth!!
Well hon keep us posted,I'll be praying for you!! Keep coming back & stay stronG!!! We'll be here for you!!
Hugs!!
Sandy

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 06:24 AM

well, thanx
but i cant tell mi family, i cant, they r so happy, they think that im over mi over-dose,mi mum was so dissapointed, thats the worst thing, i dnt give a **** if she angry, but wen shes dissappointed, i feel like killing miself.
no way am i telling them , so dont try and convince me 2, its not going 2 work hun
i am getting better, and ive got determination and stuff, so im gonna te thro this
does anyone know of a safe way of disposing of khat and mushrooms and LSD's coz, mi thery is that if i dont have any then, i wont take any!
im finished with mi druggie friends, they only liked me coz they thort i was kl, and they sort of aspired 2 mi tolarance of their puny solvents! i dont no, how can sum1 be immpressed bi me? wot IS wrng with them, they think im cool because im a daily coke,weed,crack and mushroom user, its crazy isnt it.
but ive got friends who like me 4 hoo i am, not haw many pills i can take be4 collapsing
at the time, it seems like a great idea, but now it seems like im weird
i no, tons ov kids experiment wid drugs, but i cant seem 2 control mi cravings!

blitz · 03-05-2005, 06:44 AM

"but can't seem to control my cravings".
Hi again Sarah

How can you get drug free if you cannot control your cravings. Sorry to insist, but you need professional help. I can't tell you enough what you're doing is extremely dangerous; it's life endangering. 15 is too young to face such danger.

Your mum loves you unconditionally, she'll be much more disapointed if she learns about your condition through somebody else. She may be disapointed when you tell her but she'll think twice and realize how brave her daughter is.
Don't you agree. Don't answer yet, think about it with your true friends.

Love - Pedro

Chy · 03-05-2005, 07:28 AM

We'll help you as best we can Sarah. Hopefully once the fog begins to clear you'll have the courage to get some help from your parents! I'm glad you found this to be a big help already, that's why we're here! *hugs*

Stephanie · 03-05-2005, 09:12 AM

Hi Sarah,

I know just how you feel. I couldn't tell my parents either. It seems like they worried about me so much with everything that If I were going through someothing difficult they would get so distraught that I would wind up taking care of them or protecting them on top of whatever I was going through. Part of why I'm here is the alanon forums, can you tell???? Alanon is for family members of alcoholics and addicts for a variety of different reasons but maily becasuse many people experience the effects of drugs and stuff that there family members are dealing with to all different extremes.

I used drugs for about 12 years and never told my parents. I finally did tell them in some psychiatric hospital in California after a number of drug related situations landed me there for I still don't remember what happened. All they kept saying was "why didn't you come to us for help, who cares if we get upset or worried we would rather that than have to lose you" I should have told them before it got so bad that I lost everything. They did say that on some level they knew something wasn't right as I'm sure yours do as well but they probably want to trust you. That in itself may be a good reason to tell them.

Although if that is still out of the question you could always hit an NA meeting and ask anyone there for help. It's anonymous and everyone there is there for the same thing. Good luck to you

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 09:24 AM

im not tellign them, it'd be just anther dissapontment, im a dissapointment 2 them, wot ever i do, im not good enough. i have 2 do this by myslef, im sorry, but i have 2
has the world always been like this?
i think i almost believed that the sky was purple?!
ive realised all the **** thats happin in mi life and the hole world, coz im not constantly high or pissed. its pretty fuked up isnt it?!
i was talking 2 mi fiemd, she thinks th@ ive "suddenly lost mi innocence" how wrong can u be?! i lost th@ yrs ago.
no, i doing this bi myself, i cant inflict another dissapointment on mi perfect family, they think that money solves everything, but it dosnt

logo · 03-05-2005, 11:46 AM

Sarah: Suicide is a permment solution to a temperary problem. You are doing it on the installment plan. I also have been that route. I overdosed( I have a bull tolerence) to a point that I new I could not be saved. I was at a Mcdonalds. I stopped breathing with in minutes. Just my luck there was an ambulence going through the drive through. I was on life support for 2 weeks. When I wood start to come to all I could here was people screaming at me to breath. Then I would here all of these alarms go off & I was back out. Killing ones self is not fare to the ones that love you. That would put them through more pain than you can even think about. Whats the worst thing that could happen if you told on yourself? You might get help? Do you relise how manny times I have let myself & others down. It does not matter what you think or feel,just do it anyway & you will get better in spite of yourself. I feel your pain. When I was on life support & I went to the other side,I was tould to go back it was not my time & then I woke up. That was 32yrs ago. I am 54 now & still alive. I still fight addiction to this very day. LOVE & RESPECT. Logo

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 12:04 PM

i think u miss-read mi thread hun
im not thinking about killing miself, god, ive been here, done th@!
i could never do that 2 miself, and im so glad that mi mum found me in time
but my family think th@ im over all the suicide stuff, on one level, i am, im not gonna hav another pill popping session. im not depressed, i no wot th@ feels like, its like, not feeling, being ina nother world, a blanket, underwater, however u describe it, its living hell, but this isnt that, if u get me?!
im doing all this **** 2 my bady and im not even depressed?! thats y its strange!
my family do love me, but i resent them 4 not understanding me. they think that a new somthing may cure my emptiness, but its not money or things i want! thats y they dont understnd me, i wear wt mi mum calls "shabby clothes" i feel quite comfortable ina rock tee, she cant understand y i dont want 2 show off, but thats the last thing i want! y cant they understand me?! its just so frustrating

***Time2Surrender*** · 03-05-2005, 12:15 PM

(((Sarah)))I think you misread Logos thread.She wasnt implying that you planned on commiting suicide.Thats what she meant by the installment plan.You are slowly commiting suicide whether you realize it or not.

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 12:20 PM

o, sorry.
yeh, th@s y im trying 2 change, im in a downward spiral with a dead end.
2 put it bluntly
but at least i realise that.
does anyone know where i can throw away LSD's and mushrooms, is it safe 2 burn them, i just wanna get rid of them, im trying 2 get used 2 the real world, wothout pretty colours and strange sounds

***Time2Surrender*** · 03-05-2005, 12:29 PM

Flush them down the tiolet

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 12:41 PM

lol, ok!
damn, mushrooms r rather... flowty, but i will do with the LSD's

sarah2 · 03-05-2005, 03:08 PM

im so stupid.
i cant help it, i didnt do shrooms and LSD 2day, so i shood be proud, but how ca i be proud? im still doing crack and coke, i no y, im physically addicted, i need it so bad.
and i still do weed, i dont no y, its not physically addictive u c.
mabi mentally adictive?
but it feels like all mi hard work isnt paying off, i no, i hav 2 do this slowly
but i want 2 stop mi coke and crack using, but i cant, physically i NEED it
soz guys im off 4 mi fix

blitz · 03-06-2005, 10:29 AM

Hello Sarah,

You said it yourself: you NEED it physically, and mentally as well. You see, both types of addiction come always together, though the physical need is much more troublesome to get rid of, at least at the begginning, with the withdrawal symptoms and all. And now you're off four your fix... You're right: you're at a downward spiral with a deadly rock bottom end.

Please, just let us know how you're feeling.

Love - Pedro

03-04-2005, 01:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	help please? ok.. i tryed 2 kill myself 2 yrs ago, im balimic and i cut myself im not depressed, i no th@ feeling, but i can feel now, b4 it was just the emptiness of depression, but its not depression ok, im on coke,weed,khat,LSD,mushrooms,poppers, crack and alcohol. im pretty fuked up as u might have guessed. can any1 help me i dont want to tell mi parents or mi friends, they just dont understand. mi mum and dad think th@ im over the over-dose, but i dont think that i am. i get flash baks of mi bad trips from acid and of the over-dose, if any1 can help me, plz do

03-04-2005, 02:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,525	The first thing you need to do is stop using, you cannot think with a clear head when you are putting substances in your body. Stop using and you will see that people understand you more than you think they do. Please get help for yourself soon. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

03-04-2005, 03:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,335 Blog Entries: 3	Sarah,welcome to SoberRecovery.Glad your here.Like Ann said,you might wanna see a doctor or get some professional help.Even if it means telling your parents and friends.I think they would rather know then see you die. __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

03-04-2005, 03:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	well, im only 15 i cant tell any one, you cant even imagine what it's like well, mabi u can, but woteva im starting 2 give up the drugs, but its hard. i cant obviosly do it all at once because im physically addicted 2 quite a few drugs and the cutting and balimia. i feel like i cant live without them. i havnt touched acid (LSD) for 1 week, and i havnt been sik in 4 days, so, im starting 2 get better. look, im grtful that u all care, but im not looking for "what ur doing is bad, stop" because frankly it's not that simple. my mum would just about die if she knew wot's going on. she found me u c, wen i over-dosed. she cant take any more, and im not going 2 let her know. im stil not sure y i do all this stuff 2 miself tho i no, i need a counsiller and a doctor, but im not going 2 any ov these people. ive already been seen bi a counciller after i over-dosed. but i stoped seeing him 1 ans half yrs ago. im not going bak there, if thats what ur thinking. too many memories. so does any one hav any tips on giving up, coz damn it, ive got determinationa nd im GOING 2 get over this. ive got mi hole ****** life aheadof me, and ive got a hole lotta plans and im not gona ruin mi life now. i am getting better, ok, im still on some drugs but, im slowly reducing them. and yesterday i ate! and wasnt sik. any tips on how 2 avoid drugs? (btw, im trying 2 stop cutting miself as well, i play mi drums wenever i want to)

03-04-2005, 04:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 ZING Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 5,333	Can you talk to your parents at all? Love your self. Have you got any friends you can tell this to? Anyone that you can talk to that you can trust? You're a person of worth. Your life means something. Life is so precious. Please stay posting on here. I don't have all the answers for you but there are a lot of people on this site that can answer you. The best tip I can give you on the drugs is to avoid all your friends that use. If, I'm with people that drink and drug, I'm going to drink and drug. Do they have any AA or NA meetings around where you live? Chris __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD

03-04-2005, 03:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
Morning Glory Guest Posts: n/a	How old are you Sarah? Here is a link to a forum for teenagers. http://www.teenhelp.org/groups/index.php? Some of the things you are describing need professional help. Do you have a doctor that you've seen before? Maybe you could give him a call. If you're still using you need to find support and treatment so you can turn your life around. Many here have done that. We're here if you just need to talk. Hugs, MG

03-04-2005, 05:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,886	Hi Sarah and welcome! As hard as it may sound your best advisary is your parents. I'm sure if you explain to them just how much trouble your in, be honest, they will help you find the support, treatment, couselor you need. It's very hard going to our parents with issues like this. They really would want to know how much trouble your in, the cool thing about parents is that unconditional love, no one will love you more then they do, they'll help you Sarah, just get up the courage to talk to them. If you have a close friend, have her sit with you while you talk to them. You can't go on like this. If you really want help and are ready to get help they are your best option. Don't be afraid, they just may surprise you. I am glad it's getting a little better and that you have not given up on your hopes and dreams. Tell someone Sarah! Last edited by Chy; 03-04-2005 at 10:47 PM.

03-04-2005, 05:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,335 Blog Entries: 3	Sarah,we were all 15 once.Nobody is here to preach to you about what is bad and not bad or you need to stop.Everyone here can relate to where your coming from because we have all been there.We all know its not that simple.Now,I wish I could give you some specific.There is nothing in particular I can say or this place wouldnt be here.There is no magic answer.Bottom line? You need help.Trying to do this alone? I hate to say it.The odds are against you.Your parents really do need to know this.But,if you insist on them not knowing maybe you can still try some NA meetings.In the meantime just keep coming here. __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

03-05-2005, 02:06 AM	#9 (permalink)
blitz Agnostic with faith Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Lisbon, Portugal Posts: 95	Hi Sarah, You've read quite a number of replies by now. The conclusion is obvious. You'll have all the support you need from us as long as you keep posting. But none of us is going to lie to you and tell you you don't need your parent's help, and professional help. What you're trying to do on your own is extremely dangerous. Take Chy's advice: take a close friend with you when you tell your parents. Don't forget they love you and trust you. What if they found out through someone else? Hang on, we're here for anything. Love - Pedro __________________ Whenever you try to solve one problem with a bottle, you'll find another one at its bottom.

03-05-2005, 05:44 AM	#10 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	i no its sad and all, but i promise, i cant tell like anyone. i cant put them thro the greif again. one of mi friends found out last week, shes reeli worried about me, but shes gonna help support me. thanx 4 ur replies, but im not going 2 any adult, if mi school found out, woh! they'd kik me out on the spot, and im funnily doing reeli well on mi corsework and stuf, so im not giving th@ up now. i reeli am getting better, i asure u, mi head hasnt been this clear 4 ages, the bad thing is now i can feel again. i realise now th@ the drugs r just a means of escape, but im kinda trying 2 thinka bout other things. im off LSD and this is the first day th@ i havnt had mushrooms in adges.... and damn, the world is such a boringly coloured place! no more bright green grass or... erm, purple sky's?! dnt ask its gonna take a while, but i am trying, im not telling an adult, so dnt go down th@ road ppl. thanx 4 caring, im so glad th@ i cood tell sum1, it was eatin me up inside

03-05-2005, 06:13 AM	#11 (permalink)
sandyl225 sandyl Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Willoughby,Ohio Posts: 15	Sarah, I know what you are going through is horrible,I'm a mom of 4.I was embarrased and afraid to admit to my family,that mom has a problem. If the shoe was on the other foot,what extent would you go to to help your mom if she was in this situation?All we want as parent's are for our children to be happy,WHATEVER it takes!! There are so many ways out there for you to get the right kind of help,without me telling my family,I would still be using if not worse.The support thats out there makes a recovery possible. Please for you family's sake just try to tell them!Your life is very important to you & them!! The best thing is you want to be clean,yes there is a little stress on everyone,but it is all so worth it when they'll have their daughter back,A parent loves unconditionally,and the best gift you can give them right now is the truth!! Well hon keep us posted,I'll be praying for you!! Keep coming back & stay stronG!!! We'll be here for you!! Hugs!! Sandy

03-05-2005, 06:24 AM	#12 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	well, thanx but i cant tell mi family, i cant, they r so happy, they think that im over mi over-dose,mi mum was so dissapointed, thats the worst thing, i dnt give a **** if she angry, but wen shes dissappointed, i feel like killing miself. no way am i telling them , so dont try and convince me 2, its not going 2 work hun i am getting better, and ive got determination and stuff, so im gonna te thro this does anyone know of a safe way of disposing of khat and mushrooms and LSD's coz, mi thery is that if i dont have any then, i wont take any! im finished with mi druggie friends, they only liked me coz they thort i was kl, and they sort of aspired 2 mi tolarance of their puny solvents! i dont no, how can sum1 be immpressed bi me? wot IS wrng with them, they think im cool because im a daily coke,weed,crack and mushroom user, its crazy isnt it. but ive got friends who like me 4 hoo i am, not haw many pills i can take be4 collapsing at the time, it seems like a great idea, but now it seems like im weird i no, tons ov kids experiment wid drugs, but i cant seem 2 control mi cravings!

03-05-2005, 06:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
blitz Agnostic with faith Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Lisbon, Portugal Posts: 95	"but can't seem to control my cravings". Hi again Sarah How can you get drug free if you cannot control your cravings. Sorry to insist, but you need professional help. I can't tell you enough what you're doing is extremely dangerous; it's life endangering. 15 is too young to face such danger. Your mum loves you unconditionally, she'll be much more disapointed if she learns about your condition through somebody else. She may be disapointed when you tell her but she'll think twice and realize how brave her daughter is. Don't you agree. Don't answer yet, think about it with your true friends. Love - Pedro __________________ Whenever you try to solve one problem with a bottle, you'll find another one at its bottom.

03-05-2005, 07:28 AM	#14 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,886	We'll help you as best we can Sarah. Hopefully once the fog begins to clear you'll have the courage to get some help from your parents! I'm glad you found this to be a big help already, that's why we're here! hugs

03-05-2005, 09:12 AM	#15 (permalink)
Stephanie Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Basement Posts: 728	Hi Sarah, I know just how you feel. I couldn't tell my parents either. It seems like they worried about me so much with everything that If I were going through someothing difficult they would get so distraught that I would wind up taking care of them or protecting them on top of whatever I was going through. Part of why I'm here is the alanon forums, can you tell???? Alanon is for family members of alcoholics and addicts for a variety of different reasons but maily becasuse many people experience the effects of drugs and stuff that there family members are dealing with to all different extremes. I used drugs for about 12 years and never told my parents. I finally did tell them in some psychiatric hospital in California after a number of drug related situations landed me there for I still don't remember what happened. All they kept saying was "why didn't you come to us for help, who cares if we get upset or worried we would rather that than have to lose you" I should have told them before it got so bad that I lost everything. They did say that on some level they knew something wasn't right as I'm sure yours do as well but they probably want to trust you. That in itself may be a good reason to tell them. Although if that is still out of the question you could always hit an NA meeting and ask anyone there for help. It's anonymous and everyone there is there for the same thing. Good luck to you __________________ It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out – it's the grain of sand in your shoe. Robert Service

03-05-2005, 09:24 AM	#16 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	im not tellign them, it'd be just anther dissapontment, im a dissapointment 2 them, wot ever i do, im not good enough. i have 2 do this by myslef, im sorry, but i have 2 has the world always been like this? i think i almost believed that the sky was purple?! ive realised all the **** thats happin in mi life and the hole world, coz im not constantly high or pissed. its pretty fuked up isnt it?! i was talking 2 mi fiemd, she thinks th@ ive "suddenly lost mi innocence" how wrong can u be?! i lost th@ yrs ago. no, i doing this bi myself, i cant inflict another dissapointment on mi perfect family, they think that money solves everything, but it dosnt

03-05-2005, 11:46 AM	#17 (permalink)
logo NAIOU Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Last house on the block. Posts: 175	Suicide Sarah: Suicide is a permment solution to a temperary problem. You are doing it on the installment plan. I also have been that route. I overdosed( I have a bull tolerence) to a point that I new I could not be saved. I was at a Mcdonalds. I stopped breathing with in minutes. Just my luck there was an ambulence going through the drive through. I was on life support for 2 weeks. When I wood start to come to all I could here was people screaming at me to breath. Then I would here all of these alarms go off & I was back out. Killing ones self is not fare to the ones that love you. That would put them through more pain than you can even think about. Whats the worst thing that could happen if you told on yourself? You might get help? Do you relise how manny times I have let myself & others down. It does not matter what you think or feel,just do it anyway & you will get better in spite of yourself. I feel your pain. When I was on life support & I went to the other side,I was tould to go back it was not my time & then I woke up. That was 32yrs ago. I am 54 now & still alive. I still fight addiction to this very day. LOVE & RESPECT. Logo

03-05-2005, 12:04 PM	#18 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	i think u miss-read mi thread hun im not thinking about killing miself, god, ive been here, done th@! i could never do that 2 miself, and im so glad that mi mum found me in time but my family think th@ im over all the suicide stuff, on one level, i am, im not gonna hav another pill popping session. im not depressed, i no wot th@ feels like, its like, not feeling, being ina nother world, a blanket, underwater, however u describe it, its living hell, but this isnt that, if u get me?! im doing all this **** 2 my bady and im not even depressed?! thats y its strange! my family do love me, but i resent them 4 not understanding me. they think that a new somthing may cure my emptiness, but its not money or things i want! thats y they dont understnd me, i wear wt mi mum calls "shabby clothes" i feel quite comfortable ina rock tee, she cant understand y i dont want 2 show off, but thats the last thing i want! y cant they understand me?! its just so frustrating

03-05-2005, 12:15 PM	#19 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,335 Blog Entries: 3	(((Sarah)))I think you misread Logos thread.She wasnt implying that you planned on commiting suicide.Thats what she meant by the installment plan.You are slowly commiting suicide whether you realize it or not. __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

03-05-2005, 12:20 PM	#20 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	o, sorry. yeh, th@s y im trying 2 change, im in a downward spiral with a dead end. 2 put it bluntly but at least i realise that. does anyone know where i can throw away LSD's and mushrooms, is it safe 2 burn them, i just wanna get rid of them, im trying 2 get used 2 the real world, wothout pretty colours and strange sounds

03-05-2005, 12:29 PM	#21 (permalink)
*Time2Surrender* Community Greeter Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Hillsboro,Oregon Soon to be Washington State Posts: 6,335 Blog Entries: 3	Flush them down the tiolet __________________ "Jack and Diane" painted a picture of my life and my dreams, Suddenly this crazy world made more sense to me Well I heard it today and I couldn't help but sing along Cause everytime I hear that song...

03-05-2005, 12:41 PM	#22 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	lol, ok! damn, mushrooms r rather... flowty, but i will do with the LSD's

03-05-2005, 03:08 PM	#23 (permalink)
sarah2 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 48	im so stupid. i cant help it, i didnt do shrooms and LSD 2day, so i shood be proud, but how ca i be proud? im still doing crack and coke, i no y, im physically addicted, i need it so bad. and i still do weed, i dont no y, its not physically addictive u c. mabi mentally adictive? but it feels like all mi hard work isnt paying off, i no, i hav 2 do this slowly but i want 2 stop mi coke and crack using, but i cant, physically i NEED it soz guys im off 4 mi fix

03-06-2005, 10:29 AM	#24 (permalink)
blitz Agnostic with faith Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Lisbon, Portugal Posts: 95	Hello Sarah, You said it yourself: you NEED it physically, and mentally as well. You see, both types of addiction come always together, though the physical need is much more troublesome to get rid of, at least at the begginning, with the withdrawal symptoms and all. And now you're off four your fix... You're right: you're at a downward spiral with a deadly rock bottom end. Please, just let us know how you're feeling. Love - Pedro __________________ Whenever you try to solve one problem with a bottle, you'll find another one at its bottom.